Ke kamaʻilio nei me kahi keiki e pili ana i ka maʻi maʻi o ka makua

Ke pau ka hana ʻana o ka maʻi ʻaʻai a ka makua, noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe pehea e haʻi ai i kāu keiki. ʻO ke kamaʻilio ākea a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo he ala nui ia e kōkua ai e hōʻemi i ka hopohopo o kāu keiki.

E noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe i ka manawa kūpono e kamaʻilio ai i kāu keiki e pili ana i ka make. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole paha hoʻokahi manawa kūpono. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hāʻawi i kāu keiki i ka manawa e omo i ka nūhou a nīnau i nā nīnau ma ke kamaʻilio ʻana ma hope koke iho o kou ʻike he maʻi ka maʻi ʻaʻai. Hoʻohui ʻia i kēia hoʻololi paʻakikī hiki ke kōkua i kāu keiki e hōʻoluʻolu. Hiki iā ia ke kōkua e ʻike e hele pū ana kou ʻohana ma waena o kēia.

ʻO nā makahiki a me nā ʻike i hala e pili nui ana i ka maopopo o nā keiki e pili ana i ka maʻi ʻaʻai. ʻOiai he mea hoʻowalewale paha ia e hoʻohana i nā euphemism e like me, "E hele aku ana ʻo Māmā," ʻo ia mau huaʻōlelo pohihihi e huikau nā keiki. ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi e akāka e pili ana i nā mea e hiki mai ana a kamaʻilio i nā makaʻu o kāu keiki.

• E kikoʻī. E haʻi i kāu keiki i ke ʻano o kou maʻi ʻaʻai. Inā ʻoe e ʻōlelo wale he maʻi ʻoe, hopohopo paha kāu keiki e make kekahi mea maʻi.
• E hoʻomaopopo i kāu keiki ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hopu i ka maʻi ʻaʻai mai haʻi. ʻAʻole hopohopo kāu keiki e pili ana i ka lawe ʻia ʻana mai iā ʻoe, a i ʻole ka hāʻawi ʻana i nā hoaaloha.
• E wehewehe ʻaʻole na kāu keiki ka hewa. ʻOiai maopopo paha kēia iā ʻoe, manaʻoʻiʻo nā keiki e hoʻokumu lākou i nā mea i kā lākou hana a ʻōlelo paha.
• Inā ʻōpio loa kāu keiki e hoʻomaopopo ʻole i ka make, e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ke kino e holo ʻole ana. E ʻōlelo paha ʻoe, "Ke make ʻo Pāpā, e pau kāna hanu ʻana. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e ʻai a kamaʻilio hou."
• E haʻi i kāu keiki i ka mea e hiki mai ana ma hope. ʻO kahi laʻana, "ʻAʻole hiki i ka lapaʻau ke hōʻola i koʻu maʻi ʻaʻai no laila e hōʻoia nā kauka he ʻoluʻolu wau."

E nīnau paha kāu keiki i nā nīnau i kēia manawa a noho mālie paha a makemake e kamaʻilio ma hope. Pono paha ʻoe e pane i nā nīnau like i nā manawa he nui i ka hele ʻana o kāu keiki i nā ʻōlelo me ka nalo. Makemake pinepine nā keiki e ʻike i nā mea e like me:

• He aha ka mea e loaʻa iaʻu?
• Na wai e mālama iaʻu?
• E make ana nō ʻoe (ʻo ka makua ʻē aʻe)?

E hoʻāʻo e hōʻoluʻolu i kāu keiki e like me ka hiki me ka uhi ʻole ʻana i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. E wehewehe e noho mau kāu keiki me ka makua e ola ana ma hope o kou make ʻana. Hiki i ka makua me ka ʻole ke kanesa ke ʻōlelo, "ʻAʻohe oʻu maʻi ʻaʻai. Hoʻolālā wau e noho no kahi manawa lōʻihi."

Inā nīnau kāu keiki i nā nīnau ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke pane, maikaʻi ia e ʻōlelo ʻaʻole ʻoe ʻike. Inā manaʻo ʻoe hiki ke loaʻa ka pane, e haʻi i kāu keiki e hoʻāʻo ʻoe e loaʻa ka pane.

I ka ulu ʻana o nā keiki, ʻike nui lākou he mau loa ka make. Kanikau paha kāu keiki i loko a hele aku i loko o nā makahiki ʻōpio, ʻoiai ua ʻoi aku ka maoli o ka nalo. Hiki i ke kaumaha ke hoʻopili i kekahi o kēia mau naʻau:

• Hewa. Hiki i nā mākua a me nā keiki ke hewa ma hope o ka make ʻana o kekahi mea aloha. Manaʻo paha nā kamaliʻi he hoʻopaʻi ka make no kekahi mea a lākou i hana ai.
• Huhū. ʻOiai he paʻakikī e lohe i ka huhū i haʻi ʻia aku i ka poʻe make, he maʻa maʻamau kēia o ke kaumaha.
• Ka hoʻi hou ʻana. Hiki i nā keiki ke heʻe hope i ke ʻano o ke keiki ʻōpio. Hiki i nā keiki ke hoʻomau hou i ka moe moe a i ʻole pono ka nānā hou aʻe mai ka makua e ola nei. E hoʻāʻo e hoʻomanawanui, a hoʻomanaʻo he manawa pōkole kēia.
• Kaumaha. ʻO ke kanikau kahi ʻāpana kūpono o ke kaumaha. Akā inā lilo ka kaumaha i hiki ʻole i kāu keiki ke pale i ke ola, pono ʻoe e ʻimi i ke kōkua mai kahi ʻoihana olakino noʻonoʻo.

Makemake paha ʻoe hiki iā ʻoe ke lawe i ka ʻeha o kāu keiki akā ʻo ka loaʻa ʻana o ka manawa kūpono e kamaʻilio ai me nā manaʻo paʻakikī me ʻoe hiki ke hōʻoluʻolu maikaʻi loa. Wehewehe i ka manaʻo o kāu keiki, ʻo kēlā me kēia ʻano, ua maikaʻi, a e hoʻolohe ana ʻoe i kēlā me kēia manawa a kāu keiki e makemake ai e kamaʻilio.

E like me ka hiki, e mālama i kāu keiki i loko o nā hana maʻamau. ʻ Saylelo he maikaʻi ka hele i ke kula, nā hana ma hope o ke kula, a me nā hoa aloha.

Hana kekahi mau keiki ke kū i mua o ka nūhou maikaʻi ʻole. Hiki paha i kāu keiki ke loaʻa ka pilikia ma ke kula a i ʻole koho i nā hakakā me nā hoaaloha. E lilo i mau keiki a paʻa. E kamaʻilio me kāu kumu a i ʻole kumu aʻoaʻo alakaʻi paha a kāu keiki a hoʻomaopopo iā lākou i nā mea e hana nei.

E kamaʻilio paha ʻoe me nā mākua o nā hoa pili o kāu keiki. Kōkua paha ia inā he mau hoaaloha ko kāu keiki e kamaʻilio pū ai.

Hoʻowalewale ʻia paha ʻoe e noho kāu keiki me kahi hoaaloha a i ʻole hoahānau e hoʻopakele i kāu keiki mai ka hōʻike make ʻana. Wahi a ka hapa nui o nā loea he mea hoʻonāukiuki hou aku no ka hoʻouna ʻia ʻana o nā keiki. E aho paha kāu keiki e pili kokoke iā ʻoe ma ka home.

Inā hiki ʻole i kāu keiki ke hoʻi i nā hana maʻamau he 6 mau mahina a ʻoi aku paha o ka lōʻihi ma hope o ka make ʻana o kahi makua, a i ʻole ke hōʻike nei i nā ʻano hana weliweli, e kelepona aku i kāu kahu mālama ola.

Pūnaewele ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa ʻAmelika. Ke kōkua ʻana i nā keiki ke loaʻa ka maʻi maʻi i kekahi lālā o ka ʻohana: ka hana ʻana me ka maʻi maʻi o ka makua. www.cancer.org/treatment/ Children-and-cancer/when-a-family-member-has-cancer/dealing-with-father-terminal-illness.html. Hoʻohou ʻia Malaki 20, 2015. Loaʻa iā ʻOkakopa 7, 2020.

Liptak C, Zeltzer LM, Recklitis CJ. Mālama psychosocial o ke keiki a me ka ʻohana. I: Orkin SH, Fisher DE, Ginsburg D, Nānā MA, Lux SE, Nathan DG, eds. ʻO Hematology a Nathan a me Oski a me Oncology o ke kamaliʻi a me ke kamaliʻi. 8th ed. Piladelapia, PA: Elsevier Saunders; 2015: chap 73.

Pūnaewele ʻo National Cancer Institute. Ke kūleʻa ʻana i ka maʻi ʻaʻai holomua. www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/advanced-cancer. Hoʻohou ʻia Mei 2014. Loaʻa iā ʻOkakopa 7, 2020.

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