No ke aha ʻoe e haʻalele ai i ke aloha i ka ʻike mua

Anter

• Nānā no

Aloha i ka ʻike mua—ke kumu o nā moeʻuhane ʻōpio, nā moʻolelo, nā mele pop, a me kēlā me kēia rom-com mau loa. Akā eia nā mea noiʻi e uhaʻi i kā mākou mau aloha aloha hopohopo (kaniʻuhū, ʻepekema). ʻO ka huli ʻana, ʻo ke aloha maoli a me ka loaʻa ʻana o kou hoa aloha ʻaʻole ia ma luna o nā manaʻo i ka manawa mua i paʻa ai kou mau maka, akā ma kahi o ka manawa maoli o ka poʻe e noho pū ai, e like me kahi noiʻi hou mai ke Kulanui o Texas, Austin. (E koho paha ʻoe i nā Spark ma luna o kahi pilina paʻa?)

Ua nīnauele nā ​​kānaka noiʻi i 167 mau kāne ma ka pilina mai nā mahina wale nō a hiki i 53 makahiki (ʻo wai kā mākou e ʻōlelo aʻo mai ai!) e pili ana i ko lākou hui ʻana, pehea ka lōʻihi o ko lākou launa ʻana, a me ka nani o ko lākou manaʻo he hoa. Loaʻa iā lākou nā malihini ke helu i ka nani o kēlā me kēia hoa. ʻO nā kāne i hoaloha lōʻihi loa ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana i kahi pilina aloha, ʻoi aku ka "kūpono" ma ka manaʻo o ka poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻo ia hoʻi ua manaʻo kekahi he ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o kekahi. He mea kupanaha kēia e pili ana i ka noiʻi i hala iho nei ua hōʻike ʻia e hui ʻia mākou me kekahi mea like me mākou i nā hiʻohiʻona a me ka nani. (Nui loa no nā mea kūʻē e huki!) Akā ʻo nā aloha aloha lōʻihi lākou i helu ai kekahi i kekahi me he mea lā maikaʻi, alakaʻi i nā kānaka noiʻi ʻo ia ka manawa keu i "hoʻomoe" i ko lākou nani, ma ka liʻiliʻi i ko lākou mau manaʻo iho. Ka hopena a nā ʻepekema: ʻO ka lōʻihi o kou ʻike i kekahi, ʻo ka nui o ka hoihoi iā lākou e lilo ai.

ʻO ka manaʻo i ulu ke aloha a me ka hoʻokalakupua me ka manawa ʻoiaʻiʻo loa ia no nā wahine, i ʻōlelo ʻo Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., kahi loea pili i pili ʻole i ka noiʻi a me ka mea kākau o ʻO ka 30-Day Love Detox. "No ka wahine e aloha maoli, pono ʻo ia e huki i nā papa a ʻike i ka mea ma lalo o ka helehelena."

Ua hōʻike ʻo Walsh i kāna mau makahiki o ka noiʻi ʻana i nā pilina i hōʻike iā ia ke nānā mua nei nā kāne i ka nani o ka wahine, a ukali ʻia e ka lokomaikaʻi, kūpaʻa, a me ke akamai ʻoiai e nānā mua nā wahine i ke kūpaʻa o ke kāne, a ukali ʻia e ka ʻike, ka ʻoluʻolu, a laila nānā hope loa. "ʻO kēia ke kumu he mea lapuwale ke kiʻi nā kāne i ke kiʻi o kā lākou abs a kau ʻia ma nā pūnaewele pili. "ʻO ke ala wale nō e ʻike ai nā wahine (a me nā kāne) i kēlā mau ʻano koʻikoʻi ma o ka hoʻolilo manawa ʻana me kēlā kanaka." (Akā ke ʻike ʻoe i kēlā kanaka, ʻoi aku ka olakino iā ʻoe! E ʻike pehea e pili ai kāu pilina i kou olakino.)

Akā i ka hiki ʻana i ka nui o ka manawa e hāʻawi ai i kahi pilina hou, ʻōlelo ʻo Walsh e pili ana i ka male a me ko lākou kūlana kūʻokoʻa. Hōʻike ʻo ia e ʻike paha kekahi poʻe kekahi i kekahi no nā mahina, akā ʻelua wale nō ka hele ʻana i waho, ʻoiai ua hui kekahi poʻe i ʻelua pule i hala aku nei a kamaʻilio no nā hola i kēlā me kēia lā ma ke kelepona mai ia manawa. ʻO kona lula o ka manamana nui? Mai hoʻoholo e pili ana i ka wā e hiki mai ana o ka pilina a hiki i kou hālāwai ʻana me ka ʻohana o kou hoa pili, ʻo ia hoʻi kona ʻohana, nā hoaaloha, a me nā hoa hana. I ka manawa e hoʻolauna aku ai ke kanaka iā ʻoe i nā poʻe koʻikoʻi a pau o ko lākou ola, ua lōʻihi paha kou ʻike ʻana iā lākou e hiki ai ke ʻae ʻia kahi manaʻo hoihoi maoli a ʻaʻole i ke kuko wale nō, wehewehe ʻo ia.

Eia nō naʻe ka manawa ka mea nui ʻole o ka hapa nui o mākou i kā mākou kaiāulu wikiwiki-ʻo ia ka mea e hoʻonanea ai nā lawelawe aloha e like me Tinder a He Lunch Lime wale nō ia (a aia ʻo The 5 ʻO nā polokalamu kolohe ʻāʻoki loa ...). ʻ sayslelo ʻo Walsh ʻo kā mākou moʻomeheu o ka launa pū ʻana me ka liʻiliʻi akā ʻo ka hoʻopili ʻana i nā mea hou aʻe hiki ke lilo i pilikia maoli i ka wā e ʻimi nei i kahi ʻuhane. Hōʻoia kēia noi.

No laila e mālama i kēlā mau kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ʻo Ryan Gosling-ʻo ka hāʻawi ʻana i ke aloha i ka ʻike mua ʻana paha ʻo ia ka mea maikaʻi loa āu e hana ai no kou ola aloha!

Nānā no