Nā Pregnancies nalowale a me nā aloha nalowale: Pehea ka hopena o ka miscarriage i kāu pilina

Anter

• He aha ka noiʻi e ʻōlelo ai
• Ke hoʻokahuli nei i ka hāmau

ʻAʻole pono ka lilo ʻana o ka hāpai i ka hopena o kāu pilina. ʻO ke kamaʻilio ka kī.

ʻAʻohe ala e hiki ai i ka sugarcoat ke hana i ka wā o ka hāʻule ʻole ʻana. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻike ka poʻe āpau i nā kumu o ka mea e hana ʻia, ʻenehana. Akā ma ʻō aku o ka hōʻike kino o kahi hāʻule ʻole, e hoʻohui i ke koʻikoʻi, kaumaha, a me nā manaʻo, a hiki ke maʻalahi, paʻakikī a huikau paha. A kānalua paha kēia i ka hopena i kāu pilina.

Hōʻike nā helu helu ma kahi o 10 pākēneka o nā hānau hāpai i ʻike ʻia i ka hāʻule ʻana o ka hāpai keiki i ka trimester mua. Ke hoʻāʻo nei ʻoe e loaʻa kahi pēpē a i ʻole he mea pūʻiwa ia, hiki i kēia nalo ke hoʻolele a hoʻoweliweli hoʻi.

ʻOiai e hana kēlā me kēia kanaka i kā lākou nalowale ʻokoʻa, hiki iā ia ke lilo i hanana weliweli, a no nā kāne, hiki i kahi hāʻule ʻole ke lawe iā ʻolua ʻelua a i ʻole e hoʻolalau iā ʻolua.

ʻAʻole maikaʻi paha, ʻeā? ʻAkahi nō a loaʻa kēia hanana weliweli, a ʻo ka mea hope loa āu e hopohopo ai inā e ola ana kāu pili.

He aha ka noiʻi e ʻōlelo ai

Ua hōʻike ʻia nā noiʻi e hiki i kekahi trauma ke hoʻopili i kou pilina, a he ʻoiaʻiʻo kēia no ka hāʻule ʻole. Nānā ʻia ka hopena o ka hānau male ʻole a me ka hānau hānau ʻana i kāu pilina, a he mea kupaianaha loa nā hopena.

ʻO nā kāne male a male ʻole paha i hānau keiki ʻole he 22 pakeneka ka nui o ka haki e like me ke kūʻē i nā kāne i hānau pēpē olakino i kēia wā. No nā kāne i hānau hānau hānau, ua ʻoi aku ka kiʻekiʻe o kēia helu, me 40 pākēneka o nā kāne i hoʻopau hope loa i kā lākou pili.

ʻAʻole ia he mea maʻamau ke heʻe kaʻawale ma hope o ka hāʻuleʻole o ke keiki no ka mea paʻakikī ka kaumaha. Inā ʻo ia ka manawa mua e uē pū nei ʻoe me kāu hoa, ke aʻo nei ʻoe e pili ana iā ʻoe iho a me kekahi i ka manawa like.

Hoʻokaʻawale kekahi poʻe iā lākou iho e hana ma o ko lākou mau manaʻo. Huli nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i kekahi mea e hoʻomau i ka noʻonoʻo a nalowale iā lākou iho i nā mea hoʻoluhi. ʻOi aku ka nānā ʻana o kekahi i kēlā mau nīnau inā-inā hiki ke hoʻopili iā mākou i ka hewa.

Nā Worries e like me, "E loaʻa paha kaʻu keiki?" "Ua hana anei wau i kekahi mea e hiki ai i kēia hāʻule ʻana?" "No ke aha ʻaʻole i kaumaha loa kuʻu hoa e like me aʻu?" he mau makaʻu maʻamau a hiki ke alakaʻi i ka hakakā i loko o kahi pilina inā haʻalele ʻole ʻia lākou.

Ua ʻike ʻia kahi noiʻi kahiko mai ka makahiki 2003 i ʻike ʻia he 32 pākēneka o nā wahine i ʻoi aku ka lōʻihi o ka "interpersonally" mai kā lākou kāne hoʻokahi makahiki ma hope o ka hāʻule ʻana o ka wahine a 39 pākēneka i manaʻo ʻoi aku ka lōʻihi o ka moekolohe.

Ke lohe ʻoe i kēlā mau helu, ʻaʻole paʻakikī e ʻike i ke kumu no ka pau ʻana o nā pilina ma hope o ka hāʻule ʻole ʻana.

Ke hoʻokahuli nei i ka hāmau

ʻOiai ke kiʻekiʻe o nā helu helu haʻihaʻi, ʻaʻole nō i hoʻonohonoho ʻia ka wāwahi i ka pōhaku, keu hoʻi inā ʻike ʻoe i ka hopena o ka hānau ʻole ʻana i kāu pilina.

ʻO ka mea kākau poʻokela o kahi noiʻi, ʻo Kauka Katherine Gold, ka loea pili ma ke Kulanui o Michigan ma Ann Arbor, i haʻi aku iā CNN ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e "hopohopo a manaʻo wale nō no ka mea ua loaʻa i kekahi ka hāpai o ka hāpai ʻana, e loaʻa pū kekahi iā lākou Ua hemo ka pilina. ” Kuhi ʻo ia ua pili kokoke nā kāne he nui ma hope o ka lilo.

"Ua paʻakikī, akā ua koho wau me kaʻu hubby e ulu pū me ia," i ʻōlelo ʻo Michelle L. e pili ana i kāna nalo ʻana. "Ma muli o ke kino o koʻu kino e hele nei ʻaʻole ia i manaʻo ʻaʻole mākou ʻelua i ʻeha, ʻehaʻeha, a me nā nalo. ʻO kāna pēpē pū kekahi ia, "i hoʻohui ʻia.

No kāna pilina, ua "koho lākou e ʻapo kekahi i kekahi i kēia mau manawa luhi a hilinaʻi a hilinaʻi nui kekahi i kekahi. Ua mālama ʻo ia iaʻu i koʻu mau lā paʻakikī a ʻo wau nō kekahi i paʻa iā ia ke haki ʻo ia. ” Ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia i ka ʻike ʻana o kekahi i kekahi i kā lākou "ʻehaʻeha loa a me ke kaumaha" a "me ka ʻike i ka mea ʻē aʻe ma laila he mea ʻole ka mea i kōkua iā lākou e hele pū i loko o kā lākou kaumaha.

ʻO ke kī i ka hele ʻana i waena o ka hāʻule ʻole a me ka hōʻalo ʻana i nā hopena maikaʻi ʻole i kāu pili lōʻihi e iho i ka kamaʻilio. ʻAe, ke kamaʻilio a me ke kamaʻilio ʻana a me ke kamaʻilio hou ʻana - i kekahi i kekahi e kūpono, akā inā ʻaʻole mākaukau koke ʻoe no kēlā mea, e kamaʻilio pū ana me ka loea - e like me ka palekeiki, kauka, a me ke kākāʻōlelo - kahi maikaʻi e hoʻomaka ai.

Nui nā wahi hiki iā ʻoe ke huli no ke kākoʻo i kēia manawa, mahalo i nā pāpili kaiaulu a me nā ala hou e hoʻopili ai me nā kākāʻōlelo. Inā ʻoe e ʻimi nei i ke kākoʻo pūnaewele a i ʻole nā ​​ʻatikala kumuwaiwai, ʻo kaʻu pūnaewele UnspokenGrief.com a i ʻole Magazine e kū nei ʻo ʻelua mau kumuwaiwai. Inā ʻoe e ʻimi nei i kahi kanaka i ke kanaka e kamaʻilio pū ai, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻimi i kahi kākāʻōlelo kaumaha i kou wahi.

Ke noʻonoʻo ʻoe e pili ana i ka nui o ka hāmau e pili ana i ke kamaʻilio ʻana e pili ana i ka hāʻule ʻole a me ke kanikau e pono ai e manaʻo ʻia ma hope o ka nalo ʻana, ʻaʻole ia he mea e kahaha ai i ka manaʻo o ka poʻe he nui wale, ʻoiai me kahi hoa. Ke manaʻo ʻole ʻoe e aniani ana kāu hoa i ke kaumaha like, huhū, a i ʻole nā ​​manaʻo ʻē aʻe āu, ʻaʻole ia he mea kupanaha e hoʻomaka mālie ʻoe e heʻe.

Aia kekahi pilikia inā ʻaʻole maopopo i kāu pakanā pehea e kōkua ai iā ʻoe a i ʻole pehea e haʻalele ai i ka ʻeha, hiki iā lākou ke hōʻalo i nā pilikia ma kahi o ka wehe ʻana. A ʻo kēia mau kumu ʻelua ke kumu e kamaʻilio pū ai kekahi me kekahi, a i ʻole he loea ke koʻikoʻi.

Ke hele ʻoe ma waena o kahi mea traumatic a pilikino e like me ka hāʻule ʻole ʻana, a hele pū ʻoe i loko o ia mea, aia kahi manawa kūpono loa e puka i ka hopena o ka ikaika. E ʻike hohonu ʻoe i ke minamina, a me nā mea liʻiliʻi a nui e hōʻoluʻolu i kāu hoa.

Ke hana nei i loko o ke kaumaha, hāʻawi i kahi i ka wā huhū, a me ka hāʻawi ʻana i ke kākoʻo i ka wā o ka makaʻu e hoʻopili iā ʻoe. E hoʻoikaika ʻoe i kou mākau kamaʻilio me kekahi, a ʻike ʻoe he palekana ke haʻi aku i kāu hoa iā ʻoe pono ʻoiai ʻaʻole ia he mea a lākou e makemake ai e hoʻolohe.

Eia nō naʻe, i kekahi manawa no ka nui o kou hoʻāʻo e hoʻopakele i kou pili, hoʻololi ke kaumaha iā ʻoe a me kāu ala hele i ke ola. Kūpono nā breakup.

No Casie T., ʻo kāna nalo mua i hoʻokaumaha i kāna hui pū ʻana, akā ʻaʻole ma hope o kā lāua lilo ʻelua ua pau kā lāua male ʻana. "Ma hope o ka lua o ka lilo, hoʻokahi makahiki ma hope ua kaʻawale mākou," haʻi ʻo ia.

Ke hele nei i loko o kahi hāʻule ʻole a me ke kaʻina hana kaumaha ka hopena o kāu pilina, akā hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo i kahi mea hou e pili ana i kekahi i kekahi, ʻike i kahi ikaika ʻē aʻe āu i ʻike ʻole ai ma mua, a ʻoluʻolu i ka hoʻololi ʻana i ka makua ʻokoʻa ma mua inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i hele pū i kēia. .

He mea kākau makua ʻo Devan McGuinness a loaʻa i kekahi mau makana ma o kāna hana me UnspokenGrief.com. Kālele ʻo ia i ke kōkua ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma o nā manawa paʻakikī a maikaʻi loa hoʻi i ka wā makua. Noho ʻo Devan ma Toronto, Kanada, me kāna kāne a me ʻehā mau keiki.