No ke aha ʻoe e nānā ai i kāu mau hoaaloha mama hou

ʻOiaʻiʻo, e hoʻouna i kāu mau hoʻohiwahiwa ma ka pāpili kaiaulu. Akā, ʻo ia ke ala o ka lā e aʻo ai e hana hou aku no nā mākua hou.

I koʻu hānau ʻana i kaʻu kaikamahine i ke kauwela o 2013, ua puni wau i ka poʻe a me ke aloha.

Ua kakali nā makamaka a me nā ʻohana he nui i ka lumi kali, e ʻai ana i ka pizza anuanu a e nānā ana i nā nūhou he 24 mau hola. Ua hele lākou i waho a i waho o koʻu lumi - {textend} hāʻawi iaʻu i ka hōʻoluʻolu, ka noho aloha ʻana, a (ke ʻae ʻia nā kahu hānai) hele wāwae pōkole i lalo i ke keʻena huinahā like - a paʻa i kaʻu kaikamahine pēpē hiamoe.

Akā ma lalo o 48 mau hola ma hope, ua loli nā mea. Ua loli koʻu ola (hiki ʻole ke hōʻole ʻia), a make nā kāhea.

Ua pau nā huaʻōlelo "pehea ʻoe"

I ka mua, ua maikaʻi ka hāmau. Ua hana nui wau i ka hanai hānai, a me ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hōʻauʻau i kaʻu keiki pēpē paʻakikī loa. A inā ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke mālama i nā kapu i kaʻu kope, pehea e hiki ai iaʻu ke mālama i nā ʻāpana o kaʻu mau hoaaloha? Ua ola koʻu ola i nā hoʻonui 2-hola ... i kahi lā maikaʻi.

Ua holo wau ma autopilot.

ʻAʻohe oʻu manawa e hana ai i kekahi mea hou aʻe ma mua o ka "ola."

Eia naʻe, ma hope o kekahi mau pule, ua makaʻu ka hāmau. ʻAʻole wau i ʻike ʻo wai lā wau - {textend} a i ka lā hea.

Ua ʻolokaʻa wau i loko o ka pāpāho me ka hoʻomau ʻole. Nānā mau wau i ke kīwī, a komo wau i loko o kahi kaumaha loa. Ua lilo koʻu kino i hoʻokahi me kā mākou moʻo moe IKEA.

ʻO wau - {textend} ʻoiaʻiʻo - {textend} hiki ke kiʻi i waho. Ua hiki iaʻu ke kāhea aku i koʻu makuahine a i kāhea paha i koʻu makuahūnōwai wahine (no ke kōkua, ʻōlelo aʻo, a ʻapo paha). Hiki iaʻu ke leka uila i kaʻu mau ipo wahine a i ʻole hoaaloha maikaʻi loa. Ua hiki iaʻu ke hilinaʻi i kaʻu kāne.

Akā ʻaʻole wau i ʻike i ka mea e ʻōlelo ai.

He makuahine hou wau. He makuahine # pōmaikaʻi. Ua manaʻo ʻia ʻo kēia nā lā maikaʻi loa o koʻu ola.

Hoʻohui, ʻaʻohe o kaʻu mau hoaaloha he keiki. ʻAno lapuwale a lapuwale paha ke namunamu. ʻAʻole lākou e loaʻa. Pehea lākou e maopopo ai? ʻAʻole e hōʻike i ka nui o koʻu mau manaʻo (a me nā hana) me he mea pupule lā.

Ua hoʻolōʻihi wau i nā hola e holoholo ana ma nā alanui o Brooklyn, e nānā pono ana i nā makuahine ʻē aʻe āpau i loaʻa. ʻO wai ka mea i pāʻani pū me (a pālua) i kā lākou pēpē hānau hou.

Makemake wau e maʻi wau - {textend} ʻaʻole maʻi make akā lawa i ka haukapila. Makemake au e pakele ... holo. Makemake au i kahi hoʻomaha. A ʻaʻole wau i maopopo i ka mea aʻu i holoi hou aku ai, ka puʻu o kaʻu kaikamahine a i ʻole koʻu mau maka. A pehea wau e wehewehe ai i kēlā? Pehea e hiki ai iaʻu ke wehewehe i nā manaʻo hoʻokomo? ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale? Ka makaʻu?

Ua hiamoe kaʻu kaikamahine a ua makaʻala wau. Nānā wau i kona hanu ʻana, hoʻolohe i kāna hanu, a hopohopo hoʻi. Ua luli paha wau iā ia? Ua ʻai pono ʻo ia? Ua weliweli paha kēlā uuku? E kāhea wau iā ia i kauka? Hiki paha i kēia ke hōʻailona hōʻailona wawe o SIDS? Ua hiki ke loaʻa i ka maʻi palū kau wela?

Ua ala kaʻu kaikamahine a pule wau e hiamoe ʻo ia. Makemake au i kahi manawa. Minuke. Ua makemake wau e pani i koʻu mau maka. Akā ʻaʻole au i hana. Holoi kēia hana ʻino a hana hou.

A ʻoiai ua loaʻa iaʻu ke kōkua - {textend} i kekahi manawa ma waena o kaʻu kaikamahine he 12 a me ka 16th hebedoma ua haki wau a hoʻokuʻu i kaʻu kāne a me nā kauka i loko - {textend} i loaʻa i hoʻokahi kanaka i koʻu ola i hiki ke hana i kahi honua ʻokoʻa.

ʻAʻole au i manaʻo ua hiki i kekahi ke "hoʻopakele iaʻu" a pale paha iaʻu mai ka hiamoe hiamoe ʻana a i ʻole nā ​​mea weliweli o ke kaumaha postpartum, akā manaʻo wau ua kōkua paha kahi ʻai wela.

He mea maikaʻi inā kekahi - {textend} kekahi - {textend} nīnau e pili ana iaʻu ʻaʻole wale kaʻu pēpē.

No laila eia kaʻu ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo i kekahi a me nā mea āpau:

• E leka i nā makuahine hou i kou ola. Kāhea i nā makuahine hou i kou ola, a hana pinepine pēlā. Mai hopohopo no ka hoʻāla ʻana iā ia. Makemake ʻo ia i ka hoʻopili makua. ʻO ia pono pili makua.
• E nīnau iā ia pehea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke kōkua, a hōʻike iā ia hauʻoli ʻoe i ka nānā ʻana i kāna pēpē no 30 mau minuke, hoʻokahi hola, a i ʻole 2 mau hola i hiki iā ia ke hiamoe a i ʻole ka ʻauʻau. ʻAʻohe hana lapuwale. E haʻi iā ia ʻaʻole ia e hoʻonele i kou manawa.
• Inā hele ʻoe ma luna, mai hana lima wale. Lawe mai i ka meaʻai. Lawe mai i ka kope. A hana me ka noi ʻole. Hele nā ​​ʻōkuhi liʻiliʻi a lōʻihi ala.
• Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e hele, hoʻouna i kahi hoʻouna kahaha iā ia - {textend} mai ka Postmates, DoorDash, Seamless, a i ʻole Grubhub. Nani nā pua, akā paʻa ka caffeine.
• A ke kamaʻilio pū me ia, mai minamina - {textend} empathize. E haʻi iā ia i nā mea e like me "he ʻano nui ia" a i ʻole "he mea weliweli / hoʻonāukiuki / paʻakikī paha ia."

No ka mea he keiki āu a ʻaʻole paha, hoʻohiki wau iā ʻoe i kēia: Hiki iā ʻoe ke kōkua i kāu hoa aloha makuahine hou a pono ʻo ia iā ʻoe. Ma mua o kāu e ʻike ai.

ʻO Kimberly Zapata kahi makuahine, mea kākau, a me ka mea kākoʻo i ka olakino noʻonoʻo. Ua ʻike ʻia kāna hana ma nā pūnaewele, me ka Washington Post, HuffPost, Oprah, Hope, Mākua, Health, a me Mommy Scary - {textend} e inoa i kekahi mau mea. Ke kanu ʻole ʻia kona ihu i ka hana (a i ʻole i puke maikaʻi), hoʻolimalima ʻo Kimberly i kāna manawa manuahi e holo ai ʻOi aku: maʻi, kahi hui nonprofit e manaʻo e hoʻoikaika i nā keiki a me nā ʻōpio ʻōpio e hakakā ana me nā kūlana olakino noʻonoʻo. E hāhai iā Kimberly ma Facebook a i ʻole ʻO Twitter.