He aha e hana ai ke loaʻa i kāu hoaaloha ka maʻi ʻaʻai

Anter

• 1. E maʻa mau.
• 2. E Proactive.
• 3. Mai kau i ke kaomi iā ia.
• 4. Mai hoʻāʻo e "Lokomaikaʻi" Nā Mea.
• 5. Hana iā ia i mea kūikawā. 

Ua hoʻomaka ʻo Heather Lagemann e kākau i kāna blog, Nā Kānā Kānana Invasive, ma hope o kona ʻike ʻia me ka maʻi ʻaʻai o ka umauma ma 2014. Ua kapa ʻia kekahi o kā mākou Nā Blogs Ka maʻi ʻaʻai maikaʻi ʻoi loa o 2015. E heluhelu e aʻo ai pehea i kōkua ai kona ʻohana a me nā hoaaloha iā ia ma o ka maʻi ʻaʻai umauma, ʻoki kino, a me ka chemotherapy.

I ka manawa i ʻike ʻia me ka maʻi ʻaʻai umauma ma 32, ua hānai wau i kahi pēpē, ke hana nei i nā holo preschool, a me ka nānā ʻana i ka binge.Haki haki ” ma Netflix. ʻAʻole nō i loaʻa iaʻu ka ʻike ma mua me ka maʻi ʻaʻai a he ʻano nui ia, e like me, kahi maʻi weliweli i make ai nā poʻe i nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. ua 'ike k “He Hele E Hoʻomanaʻo ”me he ʻōpio. Tragic ... a ʻo ia nō hoʻi kahi kokoke loa aʻu i hele ai i ka maʻi ʻaʻai ola maoli.

Ua like ia no ka nui o koʻu mau hoaaloha a me koʻu ʻohana, a me kēlā me kēia pahu hana hou aʻu i alo ai - ka pīhoihoi mua, ke ʻoki kino ʻana, ke chemotherapy, nā lā maikaʻi ʻole, nā lā ʻino, nā lā ʻōhule, menopausal-ma-32 mau lā - ua ʻike wau ua hiki mai ka hakakā. lākou. ʻAʻole lākou i ʻike i ka mea e ʻōlelo ai. ʻAʻole lākou i ʻike i ka mea e hana ai.

ʻO ka hapanui o ka poʻe i koʻu ola i lūlū iā ia, ma ke ʻano maʻamau, no ka mea, ʻo nā kaikamahine āpau āpau e makemake ai nā kāna poʻe ma laila. Akā, eia nō naʻe, aia kekahi poʻe i hiki ke hoʻohana i kahi alakaʻi liʻiliʻi. A maikaʻi kēlā, no ka mea, ʻaʻole ia he kūlana maʻamau. He ʻano ʻē wau inā aia kahi peʻe i hoʻopiʻi ʻole ʻia e kau nei a no laila ʻaʻole wau e manaʻo e ʻike ʻoe pehea e mālama ai i koʻu maʻi ʻaʻai.

Me kēlā ʻōlelo, i koʻu mākaukau maʻi ahonui āpau (kahi loea i makemake ʻole ʻia e kekahi), ua ʻimi au i ʻelima mau ala e lilo ai i hoaaloha na kekahi me ka maʻi ʻaʻai.

1. E maʻa mau.

Me he mea lā he manaʻo maʻamau kēia, akā pono e ʻōlelo ʻia. ʻAʻole wau i makemake i ka poʻe e nānā ʻokoʻa iaʻu, a ʻaʻole nō wau i makemake i ka poʻe e mālama ʻokoʻa iaʻu. Ua ʻike ʻia wau ma mua o ka Easter, a ua haʻi wau i koʻu ʻohana ʻo ke ala wale nō aʻu e hōʻike ai i ka ʻaina awakea Easter inā hiki iā lākou ke hana maʻamau. Pēlā lākou i hana ai, a ua hoʻonohonoho ʻia ka mea i mua. ʻAʻole kēia i manaʻo ua nānā ʻole lākou i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo he maʻi ʻaʻai koʻu; ʻaʻole ia he mea maʻamau. No laila ua kamaʻilio mākou e pili ana, ua hopohopo e pili ana i ia mea, a ua hoʻomāʻewaʻewa e pili ana iā ia, a laila pōpō ʻia i loko o nā hīnaʻi Easter a kā mākou keiki ke nānā ʻole lākou.

No laila inā he maʻamau kāu i kahi pō o nā kaikamahine i hoʻokahi manawa i ka mahina, e hoʻomau i ke kono ʻana i kāu hoa. ʻAʻole hiki iā ia ke hele, akā maikaʻi ka manaʻo maʻamau. Lawe iā ia i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. E nīnau iā ia pehea ʻo ia, a hāʻawi iā ia i ka noho aliʻi manuahi ʻana e vent (e like me kāu ma 15, i ka wā i hoʻolei aku ai kāna ipo iā ia, ʻoiai ʻaʻole hiki ke ʻano ʻokoʻa ke kūlana). E hoʻolohe maoli, a laila hāʻawi iā ia i nā hanana hou loa, e noi iā ia e pili ana i nā kala kui kui, a kamaʻilio pū me ia e pili ana i nā mea āu maʻamau makemake He mea maikaʻi ke manaʻo maʻamau ma o kāu mau hoaaloha i kahi kūlana ʻē aʻe.

2. E Proactive.

Kēia mea, ʻaʻole loa, e ʻōlelo i kekahi manawa e like me, "Inā makemake ʻoe i kekahi mea, e haʻi mai iaʻu," a i ʻole "E ʻoluʻolu e kāhea iaʻu inā makemake ʻoe i kōkua." ʻAʻole ʻo ia e hana. Hoʻohiki wau iā ʻoe.

Akā, e noʻonoʻo i nā mea āu e ʻike ai e pono ʻo ia i ke kōkua, a kau ma luna. I waenakonu o ka chemotherapy, he hoa aloha kaʻu e hōʻike wale ana a ʻokiʻoki i koʻu mauʻu lau nahele. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i kikokiko mai iaʻu a i ʻole kīkēkē i koʻu puka. Ua hana wale ʻo ia. ʻAʻole pono wau e kamaʻilio kūpilikiʻi o ka hoʻolele ʻana i kaʻu mau hana i kahi hoa - i huli mau wale ʻia, "Maikaʻi wau. Ua maikaʻi mākou. Mahalo, eia nō! " - a ʻaʻohe wahi na koʻu haʻaheo e keʻakeʻa ai. Ua hana wale ʻia. Kupaianaha ia. ʻOiai ʻaʻole e kāhea aku kāu hoaaloha iā ʻoe a haʻi iā ʻoe i nā mea e pono ai lākou e kōkua, e:

• Ke kiʻi nei i ka meaʻai ma ka papa. ʻO ke kōkua ʻana i ka ʻai he kōkua maikaʻi loa. Aia nā pūnaewele e like me mealtrain.com e maʻalahi ai, a ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke haʻi aku iā ʻoe i ka nui o ke koʻikoʻi i lawe ʻia e ka ʻike ʻana e hānai ʻia koʻu ʻohana ke loaʻa ʻole koʻu ikaika e hana ai. Eia kekahi, inā ʻoe ma kahi hale kūʻai kokoke iā ia, e kī aku iā ia i kahi huaʻōlelo inā ʻike ʻo ia i waho o ka waiū a i ʻole nā ​​ʻāpana iʻa gula a kiʻi iā lākou nona.
• Mālama kamaliʻi. E loli paha kēia, akā noʻu, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke kiʻi i kaʻu pēpē ponoʻī no ʻekolu pule ma hope o ke kaha ʻana. A ke mālama nei me kahi makahiki 3 i ka manawa o chemo? ʻAʻole. ʻO kekahi o kaʻu mau hoaaloha maikaʻi loa i hōʻiliʻili i nā pūʻali koa a hui pū i kahi kalena mālama keiki e kūpono i koʻu mau pono, a mahalo mau loa wau. Lele kāu hoaaloha no ka hauʻoli (a ʻakaʻaka paha iā ʻoe mai ka moe) inā ʻoe e hāʻawi e lawe i kāna mau keiki i ka zoo no ka lā a i ʻole i ka pāka no hoʻokahi hola.
• Hoʻomaʻemaʻe. ʻAʻole i loaʻa iā ia ka manawa a me ka ikaika no ia manawa! ʻAʻole i hoʻopailua koʻu hale e like me ia i ka wā e hoʻomaʻamaʻa ikaika ai, a me ka leʻaleʻa, ʻaʻole aʻu mau malihini kipa hou. Hiki i kahi hoaaloha pili a hui paha o nā ipo wahine ke hoʻokomo i loko a hana paha iā lākou iho a hoʻolimalima i kahi lawelawe.
• Mālama lawn. I koʻu hale, mālama mau kaʻu kāne i kēia (ʻōlelo wau iā ia he nani loa wau e ʻoki a lawe aku i ka ʻōpala, a holo pono ia - a ʻōhule hoʻi). Eia nō naʻe, he nui nā mea a kaʻu kāne ma kāna pā, no laila he kōkua nui kēia i ka waiho ʻole ʻana i kā mākou pā hale i ulu lāʻau.

3. Mai kau i ke kaomi iā ia.

Nui nā mea i kēia manawa: nā koho, scans, nā lāʻau, nā manaʻo he nui a me ka makaʻu, malia paha he menopause i hoʻokomo ʻia i ka chemotherapy, e hoʻāʻo ana e alakaʻi i kona ʻohana ma o kēia ʻoiai ʻaʻole ʻike maoli pehea. No laila inā ʻaʻole ia e leka uila i hope, a nānā ʻole paha i kāu mau kelepona ʻana no kekahi manawa liʻiliʻi, e paheʻe a hoʻomau i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana. Ua kaumaha paha ʻo ia akā ke heluhelu nei i kāu mau leka a hoʻolohe nei i kāu mau leka uila a mahalo maoli iā lākou. Inā hāʻawi ʻoe iā ia i puke, no ka laʻana (kahi mea maikaʻi e hana ai, ʻoiai he nui ka downtime ma chemo), mai manaʻo iā ia e heluhelu ia. Hoʻomaopopo wau i koʻu huhū nui ke nīnau aku kahi hoaaloha iaʻu i nā manawa he nui e pili ana i kahi puke āna i makana ai ʻaʻole wau i heluhelu. ʻO ke kumu, e ʻoki wale i kāna mau lohi a mai manaʻo nui (a i ʻole kekahi mea) mai iā ia i kēia manawa.

4. Mai hoʻāʻo e "Lokomaikaʻi" Nā Mea.

He mea paʻakikī e hana, noho i loko o ka ʻeha o kekahi me lākou, akā ʻo ia ka mea e pono ai iā ʻoe i kēia manawa. ʻO kou ʻiʻo kūlohelohe ia e makemake ai e hōʻoluʻolu iā ia ma ka ʻōlelo ʻana i nā mea e like me, "E maikaʻi ʻoe," a i ʻole "ikaika loa ʻoe! E hoʻokau ʻoe i kēia! ” aiʻole "Hāʻawi wale ʻia ʻoe i ka mea hiki iā ʻoe ke lawelawe," a i ʻole "E mālama wale i kahi ʻano maikaʻi." (Hiki iaʻu ke hele no kekahi mau lā.) Ke ʻōlelo nei e hana paha kēlā mau mea ʻo ʻoe manaʻo maikaʻi, akā ʻaʻole lākou e hana ʻo ia ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike he maikaʻi ʻo ia. Ikaika ʻo ia, akā ʻaʻohe ona manaʻo i ka hopena o kēia. ʻAʻole makemake ʻo ia e noʻonoʻo e like me kāna mea e "paʻi" i kēia. ʻO ka mea āna e makemake ai no kekahi e noho pū me ia i kēia kānalua no ka mea makaʻu ia ... a ʻae, ʻoluʻolu ʻole ia.

ʻO kaʻu kaikamahine hanauna hoʻokahi wale nō ka poʻe i kamaʻilio pū me aʻu e pili ana i ka hiki o koʻu make ʻana, a ʻo ia he 7. ʻAʻohe mea ʻē aʻe i makemake e nānā i ka make me aʻu, akā aia i koʻu manaʻo i kēlā me kēia lā. ʻAʻole wau e ʻōlelo ana he pono ʻoe e loaʻa i nā kamaʻilio make hohonu, akā e hāmama i ka manaʻo o kāu hoaaloha. He maikaʻi inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻike i ka mea e ʻōlelo ai inā ʻoe e hoʻolohe maoli. A paulele iaʻu, ʻike ʻo ia he paʻakikī kēia iā ʻoe pū kekahi, a e mahalo ʻo ia i kou makemake e "noho i loko" me ia.

5. Hana iā ia i mea kūikawā. 

ʻIke wau he mea kūikawā kāu hoaaloha naʻu, a ʻaʻole ʻoe e heluhelu ana i kēia. Akā aia kekahi ʻokoʻa nui ma waena o ke aloha ʻana i kekahi a hōʻike iā lākou e aloha ʻoe iā lākou. ʻO kaʻu ʻāpana punahele o ka maʻi ʻaʻai - ʻae, he ʻāpana punahele kaʻu no ka maʻi ʻaʻai. - he mea paha e hāʻawi i ka poʻe i kahi pass free e haʻi iaʻu i ko lākou manaʻo e pili ana iaʻu, a he mea kupaianaha ia. Ua loaʻa iaʻu nā kāleka, nā leka, a me nā leka i piha i nā huaʻōlelo maikaʻi, nā mea hoʻomanaʻo poina ʻole, ka paipai ʻana, a me ke aloha maka wale. Hāpai lākou iaʻu i kekahi o kaʻu mau lā pōʻino loa, a ua hoʻololi maoli ia i koʻu ʻike i ka honua a mākou e noho nei.

Hiki i ka maʻi ʻaʻai ke lilo i wahi mehameha kupaianaha, no laila kēlā me kēia makana liʻiliʻi, kāleka i ka leka uila, a hāʻule ka pāʻina e hoʻomaopopo iaʻu he ʻāpana nō wau o ka honua i ka nui. Ma waho aʻe, no ke aha e kau nui ʻia ai ka maka ma luna ou ma kāu makahiki o ka male ma mua o kāu (makahiki manaʻolana, wale) kanesa ʻLelo wau: Ke loaʻa ka maʻi ʻaʻai i kekahi, ʻo ia ka manawa e hele ai mākou i nā pōpō i ka paia e ʻike ai he kūikawā lākou. Pono lākou ia, a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku ka nui o ia mea i ka makahiki o koʻu maʻi ʻaʻai ma mua o koʻu makahiki male.

ʻOiai ʻoe e hoʻokokoke aku i kāu hoa me ke aloha, e maikaʻi ʻoe.A ʻoiai ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i nā mea āpau i kēia ʻatikala, e hoʻohiki wale ʻoe iaʻu e dropkick ʻoe i ka mea e hoʻāʻo e haʻi i kāna mau moʻolelo e pili ana i ke kupunawahine, kaikuahine, a i ʻole hoalauna a lākou i make ai i ka maʻi ʻaʻai umauma, ʻeā?