ʻO kēia Sexologist Clinical He mau manaʻo ikaika e pili ana iā Netflix's Sex / Life

Anter

• ʻO wai ke kāne "kūpono" na Billie, ʻeā?
• ʻO ka hōʻike ʻana i nā pilina ākea he ahi pahu pahu piha.
• ʻO ka hana ʻana e like me ka asshole ʻaʻole ia he mana moekolohe. Ke hana wale nei ia e like me ka asshole.
• Nānā no

Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i lohe i kēia manawa (a i ʻike paha i ka wikiō viral 3 hopena ma TikTok), ka moʻo hou o Netflix, Moekolohe / Ola, lilo koke i mea kuʻi koke. ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo, ua hoʻopau wau i nā mea āpau i nā lā ʻelua. He hōʻike e pili ana i ka wahine ʻoluʻolu ʻole a aloha i ka moekolohe a me ka nui o nā hana moe kolohe? AE!

ʻO wau āpau no ka hoʻoikaika moekolohe wahine, a makemake nui wau i ka ʻike ʻana i ka nui o nā hōʻike hou i hōʻike i ka makemake wahine i kahi ala e hāʻawi ai i nā ʻoihana wahine i kā lākou makemake (ahem, Bridgerton, Aloha maikaʻi, Grace & Frankie, a maʻalahi). I nā ʻano he nui, Moe/Ke ola hana pololei i kēlā. Hāʻawi ia iā Billie (ka protagonist o ka hōʻike) he manawa kūpono e lilo i wahine moe kolohe e leʻaleʻa i ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana iā ia ma mua o kona hoʻomaka ʻana i ka male ʻana me ke "kanaka moeʻuhane" maikaʻi loa a me nā keiki ʻelua.

ʻLelo Aʻo: Nui nā mea luku i mua. Akā inā ʻoe e nānā nei Moekolohe / Ola a i ʻole hoʻopau wale a waiho ʻia e like me 🥴!?!?! a laila manaʻolana e kōkua kēia i ka hoʻomaʻemaʻe i nā mea. A inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i nānā pono, ʻeā, makemake paha ʻoe e hoʻomau i ka heluhelu ʻana: Manaʻo wau e ʻike ʻoe i kekahi o kēia mau mea ma mua nana oe. Ua omo iaʻu i ka wikiwiki loa (he HOT a he nui ka moe kolohe), akā ua waiho pū iaʻu me ka hoka a me ke kaumaha. Nui nā mea i kūpono kēia hōʻike ... akā nui nā mea i wili ʻia. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i nā mea āpau i nā manawa āpau, loaʻa iaʻu, akā ʻo ke ʻano o ka hoʻolālā ʻana i manaʻo ʻia he mea ʻole a he hoʻi hope ʻole hiki ʻole iaʻu ke noʻonoʻo akā: He aha i loko o ka pō aʻu e nānā wale ai?

He mea pono ke hoʻomaopopo ʻana ua hoʻokumu ʻia kēia hōʻike ma luna o kahi puke - ʻaʻole wale i kekahi puke, akā ka memoir 44 Mokuna e pili ana i nā 4 kāne na BB Easton (Buy It, $14, amazon.com), ʻo ia hoʻi, ua hōʻiliʻili ʻia ka manaʻo o ka hōʻike mai ko kekahi. ke ola maoli. ʻO kēlā ʻōlelo, he hōʻike noʻonoʻo kēia, ʻaʻole ia e hōʻike i ke ola maoli, a ʻaʻole ia he mea e pono ai ʻoe e noʻonoʻo (e like me ka leʻaleʻa e like me nā hiʻohiʻona wahine). Eia ke kumu.

ʻO wai ke kāne "kūpono" na Billie, ʻeā?

Ua hoʻokomo au i "man of her dreams" (i ka wā e pili ana i ke kāne a Billie ʻo Cooper) i nā ʻōlelo ma luna no ka mea aia kekahi ʻano hollowness i kēia manaʻo - ʻo ia ka mea e ʻike ʻia i ka holomua o ka hōʻike. He kūpaʻa nui ʻo Cooper, he makua kāne maikaʻi, a ʻo ka mea nui, ʻaʻole nā ​​​​mea a pau ʻo Brad (Billie ex).

ʻAe, ʻo Cooper he "Good Guy." ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, hele a aneane hiki ʻole i ka hōʻike ke hoʻomanaʻo mau iā mākou i kēlā. Makemake ʻo ia e hoʻopakele i ka honua ma o ka hoʻokomo ʻana i ka ʻenehana akamai e hoʻopakele i ke ola o nā kānaka. Pākuʻi ʻo ia i ka maka o kāna hoa hana ma ka pāʻina moekolohe no ka mea ke hahau nei ʻo ia i kāna wahine, a laila lawe ʻo ia i ka mea i kona luna a me HR. He "Guy maikaʻi" ʻo Cooper a ua hoʻoponopono hou ʻia ʻo Brad - ʻoiai ʻaʻole maopopo leʻa ke ʻano maoli o kēia - "Bad Boy." ʻO ka triteness o kēia dichotomy holoʻokoʻa "Husband and Toxic Ex" he wahi o ka ʻōwili maka, IMO.

Akā ʻaʻole kēlā ka manaʻo ma aneʻi. ʻO ka pilikia ke ʻano o ka lawelawe ʻana o Billie i kāna makemake moekolohe loa no Brad a me kona aloha a me ke kūpaʻa ʻana me Cooper. Ke hōʻoiaʻiʻo nei ʻo ia iā ia iho he waiwai ʻo Cooper i kēia ʻano noʻonoʻo? ʻO ia ʻo "The One?" ʻAʻole lawa mākou i ka ʻike i kāna mau manaʻo maoli e loaʻa pololei kahi pane i kēia nīnau. Manaʻo wau he aloha maoli ʻo ia iā Cooper, akā koho ʻo ia e hōʻike i kāna mau moekolohe me kā lākou ola moekolohe ponoʻī i kahi diary ma mua o ka lawe wale ʻana i kāna mau maka. Iaʻu, manaʻo kēia ʻano WTF. (Pili: Hiki iā ʻoe ke kākau i kou ala i ka wahine maikaʻi?)

Me he mea lā e manaʻo mau ana ʻo Billie i kāna mea aloha e hoʻokō i kāna mau makemake moe kolohe i kahi T, me ka wehewehe ʻole ʻana i kāna mea e makemake ai.Hilinaʻi ʻo ia i ka kemika moekolohe koke e hoʻomau i ke ola o kāna moekolohe - akā ma ke ʻano he sexologist hōʻoia hōʻoia, hiki iaʻu ke haʻi iā ʻoe ʻaʻole hiki i kēia mau kāne he nui. ʻO ka hapa nui o nā kāne he kemika koke (no laila ke ʻumeume mua), akā hiki nō i kēlā kemikula ke maʻa i ka hala ʻana o ka manawa. Lawe ka wahine i ka hana a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka manawa (maʻamau) i ka lōʻihi lāua ʻelua paʻa ka poʻe i ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana.

No ka hoʻonanea ʻana, ua hele pū ʻo Billie i kahi Ph.D. ma ka hoʻonaʻauao (a loaʻa i kēia manawa ke kēkelē laeoʻo ma ka ʻepekema) ma mua o kona hui ʻana a male ʻana iā Cooper. He psychologist ʻo ia me kāna ʻano lapaʻau ponoʻī. Kākau ʻo ia i kahi ʻatikala ma Psychology I kēia lā e pili ana i ka hilinaʻi a me ka palekana i nā mea nui no ka wahine wahine, akā ʻaʻole naʻe e noʻonoʻo, "E, he aloha maoli kā wau me kaʻu kāne. Manaʻo wau e ʻike kāua i kā kāua kūkā aʻoaʻo." A i ʻole, e kamaʻilio pū me ia no ia mea. Akā, hele ʻo ia me, "Manaʻo wau e haʻalele loa wau i ka pilikia a laila e huhū mau loa i kaʻu kāne i ka wā e moeʻuhane ana i kēlā mau pō wela me kaʻu ex, ʻo Brad."

Ua hiki i ka mea hoʻoponopono a kahi kāne ke kōkua iā lāua e hana ma o kā lāua ʻano wahine ʻokoʻa, kā lākou launa ʻole moekolohe, kahi e hiki ai iā lākou ke hoʻololi, a kōkua iā lākou e hōʻoia hou i kā lākou kūpaʻa i kekahi i kekahi. Hiki i ke kauka lapaʻau o nā kāne ke kōkua iā lākou e hoʻōla ma mua o ka ʻae ʻana i ka huhū e hoʻomāhuahua, e like me ka hana mālie iā Billie.

ʻO ka hōʻike ʻana i nā pilina ākea he ahi pahu pahu piha.

Me he mea lā kēia e hoʻāʻo ka hōʻike e hana i ka hilinaʻi maikaʻi: ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e koho ma waena o kekahi e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ke kuko āpau a me kahi mea e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ka hilinaʻi āpau. Hiki iā ʻoe ʻelua: Kāhea ʻia ia non-monogamy / kahi pilina hāmama / polyamory. Eia nō naʻe, hoʻomau ʻo ia i ka f*ck me ke kupanaha loa, ua kolo koʻu ʻili.

ʻAe no ka hoʻoikaika ʻana i ka wahine, akā ʻo ka boo no ka hana ʻana i ka non-monogamy e like me ke ʻano o ka pilina "emi-ma mua o" o ka pilina, hoʻomaʻamaʻa wale ʻia e nā kāne hauʻoli ʻole e hoʻāʻo nei e loaʻa " lawa."

Lawe kēia iaʻu i kahi kikoʻī kikoʻī: Hele ka pāʻina moekolohe ʻo Billie lāua ʻo Cooper me kā lāua (me he mea lā ua pihi ʻia) ʻo Greenwich mau hoa aloha, ʻo Trina lāua ʻo Devon.

E nānā, ʻaʻole monogamous kā lākou mau hoaaloha - kikoʻī, i ka male ākea. Hele lākou i nā pāʻina moe kolohe. Maikaʻi kēlā, akā ʻaʻohe ʻo Cooper lāua ʻo Billie ʻoihana ma ka pāʻina moekolohe. Makemake ʻo Billie e ʻike i ka moekolohe kupaianaha akā ua hana mau ʻo ia i loko o ka pōʻaiapili o ka pilina monogamous. I kēia manawa, ua haunaele kona pilina. ʻO nā pāʻina wahine no nā kāne hauʻoli, palekana, a me ka ʻimi moe kolohe. No nā kāne a lākou e makemake e ʻimi i ka moekolohe me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe - ʻaʻole no ka poʻe makemake e hoʻāʻo e hoʻopaʻa i kahi pilikia ma waena o lākou.

ʻO ka mea hewa wale nō a Trina lāua ʻo Devon e hana hewa nei, ʻo ka lawe ʻana iā Billie lāua ʻo Cooper i ka pāʻina me ka hoʻopā ʻole ʻana i ka waihona ma mua. ʻO kēlā ʻōlelo, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke manaʻo mau i kahi kāne maʻamau e koli ana e ʻike pehea e hoʻokele ai i kēia mau wai paʻakikī. ʻAʻole lākou he poʻe loea.

Loaʻa iā Cooper kahi blowjob mai iā Trina no ka mea ua manaʻo ʻo Trina e kōkua kēia iā lākou e hoʻomaha i ke kahe o ka pāʻina. Pākuʻi ʻia ʻo Billie, kahi hopena maʻamau inā ʻaʻole kēia kāu jam, a ʻaʻole mākaukau loa ʻoe no ka pāʻina moekolohe. Hoʻāʻo ʻo Devon e pā iā Billie (a ʻoiaʻiʻo hoʻi e hoʻokuke loa iā ia, FTR). A laila hōʻino ʻo Cooper iā Trina (insinuating ʻo ia he slut - maikaʻi, ʻo Cooper) a komo i kahi lima me Devon.

E hoʻomaopopo iaʻu: ʻAʻole ʻo Devon lāua ʻo Trina ka mea i hana naʻaupō, ʻo Billie lāua ʻo Cooper i hana naʻaupō. Ke ho'āʻo nei ka hōʻike e hoʻohālike iā Devon lāua ʻo Trina e like me nā mea ʻē aʻe ke hana nei lāua i kahi mea maʻamau i hana ʻia e ka nui o nā kāne male.

ʻO ke kūpono, aia ʻo Billie lāua ʻo Cooper i kahi maikaʻi a olakino i ko lāua pilina kahi i wehe ai lāua i ka ʻike ʻana i ka moekolohe me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Nui ka hilinaʻi a me nā palena e hele ai i ka pāʻina moekolohe a ʻaʻohe o ke kaumaha o ka naʻau - he hanana i hoʻopiʻi nui ʻia i manaʻo ʻia ua kapu loa ia i ke kaiāulu. He hopena maikaʻi loa paha kēia inā paʻa nā kūlana o kā lāua male, ʻaʻole ma ka ʻaoʻao o ka hāʻule. He kuhi hewa kēia a nā kāne he nui i hana ai: manaʻo lākou ʻo ka wehe ʻana i ka pilina e "hoʻoponopono" i kā lākou pilikia, ke hiki maoli, hiki (a e) hoʻohui iā lākou, e alakaʻi ana paha i ka hoʻokaʻawale. (E nānā: Pehea e loaʻa ai kahi pilina polyamorous olakino)

ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o kā haʻi ʻōlelo a Cooper (ma kā lākou kula kamaliʻi World Fair night, ʻaʻole emi) e pili ana i ke ʻano o ke kūpaʻa ʻana a me ke aloha ʻana o Billie i kekahi i kekahi "hoʻonāukiuki" iā Devon e pani i kāna pilina me Trina he mea hoʻopololei, ʻaʻole ia he mea e hoʻolauleʻa ai. Ke kāohi ʻia nei ka moekolohe ʻo Trina no ka mea ke hōʻike nei kēia hōʻike a me kāna mau mea nui i ka manaʻo "ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi" ʻomonmonogamy a me ke ʻano o ka poʻe me nā keiki. "

I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, hiki i ka non-monogamy ke hana no nā kāne pākahi i loaʻa nā kaila pilina paʻa, ʻaʻohe monogamous a me nā waiwai e ʻimi i nā ala like ʻole e ʻimi ai i ka moekolohe i mea e māʻona ai a hoʻokō ʻia ai nā kānaka ʻelua - akā ʻoi aku ka nui o kēlā mea i ka sek.

ʻO ka hana ʻana e like me ka asshole ʻaʻole ia he mana moekolohe. Ke hana wale nei ia e like me ka asshole.

E hoʻolohe, ka mana kaikamahine, nā wahine e kiʻi nei i kā lākou ponoʻī, me ka moekolohe kupaianaha, ke kipa ʻana i ka slut-shaming. Akā ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke kapa i nā mea a Billie i hana ai "ka hoʻoikaika kino."

Hōʻike ʻo ia ma ka puka o ka hale o kāna ex (ma hope o ka haʻalele ʻana i ka pau ʻana o kāna pāʻani kula keiki?!). ʻO ka leo o ka mea haʻi moʻolelo (ʻo ia ʻo Billie i loko o ka hōʻike), ke ʻōlelo nei ma ka ʻōlelo hoʻoikaika a hauʻoli e pili ana i ka "makemake ia mea āpau" a me ka "makemake ia i kēia manawa." Hōʻike ʻo ia, hāmama nā puka uila a ʻōlelo ʻo ia: "ʻAʻole hoʻololi kēia. ʻAʻole wau e haʻalele i kaʻu kāne. I kēia manawa, e ʻumeʻume iaʻu."

Pau ke kau.

ʻO ka mea a ka poʻe showrunners (pono wau e manaʻoʻiʻo, pono wau) e hoʻāʻo nei e haʻi i ka hiki i nā wahine ke loaʻa i nā mea āpau - he 180 maoli, me ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i ke koena o ka hōʻike holoʻokoʻa e wehewehe ana i ka "aloha ʻoiaʻiʻo" ma ke ʻano he monogamy a hoʻokō piha i hoʻokahi kanaka. .

ʻO kaʻu kuhi? ʻO Season 2 e pili ana iā Billie lāua ʻo Cooper e wehe nei i ko lāua pilina. ʻĀ, ʻino wau e haki i kēia iā ʻoe - e ʻoluʻolu e kala i nā pāpale āpau no ka mea huhū loa wau: ʻAʻole kēia e wehe ai i ka pilina e pili ana i ke olakino.

ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke holo wale a hoʻopunipuni i kāu kāne a laila wehe hou i ka pilina e like me kekahi ʻano o ke ʻano o ka "hana ʻana." Hiki i nā pilina hāmama ke holo a ola wale nō ke lilo nā hoa mua ʻelua i ka pākeneka a makemake iā ia. Hiki iā lākou ke lilo i mea kupanaha a hoʻokō hoʻi e like me nā pilina monogamous. ʻOkoʻa ka hana a kēlā me kēia pilina a ma kāna ʻano ponoʻī. ʻAʻohe o ke kaila pilina i ʻoi aku ma mua o nā mea āpau inā aia nā palena a me ke kamaʻilio. (E nānā: 6 mau mea i hiki i ka poʻe Monogamous ke aʻo mai nā pilina wehe)

Akā ʻo kēia ka mea ʻokoʻa loa o ka mea e hana nei i kēia hōʻike. ʻAʻole ia i hana i kekahi mea e hoʻololi i ke kūlana i kāna male. I kekahi mau mahina ma hope mai ua ʻike ʻo ia ʻo ia ka "code-switching," (aka ke hoʻololi ka poʻe i ko lākou mau pilikino e pili ana i ka poʻe, ka hui, a i ʻole ka hoa) e like me ia - mana maoli - na ka hoaaloha Sasha i kau. (He ʻino loa ʻo Sasha ma ka moekolohe a me ka ʻoihana, akā he ʻatikala kēlā no kekahi lā ʻē aʻe.) Ma kahi o ka hele ʻana aku iā Cooper, e ʻimi ana i ka lāʻau lapaʻau, a i ʻole e hoʻāʻo e hana i ka mea pono iā ia iho a me kāna hoa, ua hoʻoholo ʻo Billie e hele i ke ala maʻalahi i ka wā ʻaʻole hoʻokō ʻia kekahi e ka wahine.

Pono mākou e ho'ōki i ka hoʻohālike ʻana i ka hana ʻana o nā wahine i nā mea ʻino e hoʻolilo iā lākou i "badass" ma ke kāʻei ʻana iā ia i loko o ka ʻeke wahine wahine. Pono mākou e nānā pono i nā hana. A i kēia hihia: ʻAʻole maikaʻi lākou. Hana ʻo ia e like me kahi asshole. E kala mai, pono e ʻōlelo ʻia. Inā mākou e hoʻololi i nā kuleana a ʻo Cooper e holo ana iā Francesca (kona haku nāna i hōʻoia i ka manaʻo moe kolohe) e hoʻokō i kāna mau pono, e noʻonoʻo ana mākou: ʻO ia! ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke manaʻo ua makemake mākou iā ia!

ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻohe mea i koe e ʻōlelo ai. E ʻike kākou i ka hopena o ka Season 2. Malia paha e hoʻi mai lākou a hoʻoponopono loa i kēia haunaele wela o kahi kūlana…

A e kiʻi wale i kēia ma ka moʻolelo: e pili ana i kēlā Episode 3 hanana? ʻAʻole ka nui ka nui.

ʻO Gigi Engle he mea hoʻopaʻapaʻa sexologist a me ka mea kākau o All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life. E hahai iā ia ma Instagram a me Twitter ma @GigiEngle.

Nānā no