6 mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e kamaʻilio ai i kāu mau keiki e pili ana i ka porn i kahi ala maikaʻi

Anter

• 1. E hoʻokumu i kahi kahua kahi e hiki ai iā ʻoe a me kāu keiki ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i kēia mea
• 2. E hoʻolauna i ka porn ma mua o kou manaʻo e pono ai
• 3. E mālama i kou kani koʻikoʻi akā maʻamau ʻole
• 4. E nīnau lākou i nā nīnau
• 5. Kākoʻo i ka pōʻaiapili a me ka ʻae ʻana
• 6. Kaʻana like i nā kumuwaiwai
• Paipai nā kumu aʻo moekolohe i nā keiki
  
• Hiki i kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ke kōkua i ka maikaʻi o ke kamaʻilio ʻana no ʻolua

Hoʻopili mākou i nā huahana a mākou e manaʻo nei he pono no kā mākou poʻe heluhelu. Inā kūʻai ʻoe ma o nā loulou i kēia ʻaoʻao, loaʻa iā mākou kahi kōmike liʻiliʻi. Eia kā mākou hana.

Hāʻawi ʻia i ka hāʻawi ʻana o nā mākua i kā lākou keiki i ka ʻenehana a me ka pūnaewele i ka wā ma mua (ua ʻike ʻia kahi ana ʻana ma ka awelika, loaʻa i nā keiki i kā lākou kelepona uila mua ma 10 mau makahiki), ʻaʻole hiki ke alo ʻia nā keiki e ʻike a ʻike ana i ka porn ma ka pūnaewele i ka wā ʻōpio. mahalo ʻia ʻo Erika Lust, mea hana kiʻi ʻoniʻoni makua, nona a me ka mea hoʻokumu o Erika Lust Films a me XConfessions.com.

"Ma muli o ke ʻano o ka pūnaewele, ʻoiai ke ʻimi wale nei kahi keiki i nā kiʻi a i ʻole ka ʻepekema e pili ana i nā kino, nā hana o ke kino, a pehea e hana ʻia ai nā pēpē, ʻo ka porn ka helu ʻekahi a ʻelua mau hopena ʻimi," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

I kāna kuhi, ʻo Shadeen Francis, LMFT, kahi male a me ka ʻohana therapist nāna i kākau i nā papa hana aʻo moekolohe no ke kula haʻahaʻa a me ke kula kiʻekiʻe, i ʻōlelo ʻia e nā makahiki he 11 i ka hapanui o nā keiki i hōʻike ʻia i kekahi ʻano moekolohe ma ka pūnaewele.

Minamina, ʻaʻole like ka ʻike moekolohe a me ka porn. "Hiki ke hoʻohana ʻia ʻo Porn ma ke ʻano he mea hana aʻo moekolohe, akā manaʻo ʻia ia no ka leʻaleʻa makua, ʻaʻole aʻo," wahi a Francis. I ka loaʻa ʻole o ka moekolohe moekolohe a i ʻole ke kamaʻilio mau ʻana ma ka home e pili ana i ka moekolohe, hiki i nā keiki ke hoʻopili i ka porn me ka wahine a komo i loko o nā leka i pili i ka porn nui.

ʻO ia ke kumu e koʻikoʻi ai ʻo Francis i ke koʻikoʻi o nā mākua a me nā kahu e kamaʻilio ana i kā lākou keiki e pili ana i ka moekolohe a me ka porn.

"ʻO ka nui o ka makua e hiki ke hoʻopaʻa i ka aʻo a kā lākou keiki, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hiki iā lākou ke kanu i nā waiwai olakino a me nā kōkua e kūʻē i ka ʻike pinepine ʻole, kūpono ʻole, a i ʻole unethical ʻike hiki iā lākou ke aʻo i ka honua."

Eia nō naʻe, ma ke ʻano he makua hiki ke lilo i mea nui loa e hoʻopaʻa i ke kumuhana o ka porn me kāu keiki. Me ka noʻonoʻo, ua hui pū mākou i kēia alakaʻi no nā mākua no ke kamaʻilio ʻana i nā keiki e pili ana i ka porn.

E hāhai i kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e mālama i ke kamaʻilio moekolohe a maikaʻi e like me ka hiki - no ʻolua.

1. E hoʻokumu i kahi kahua kahi e hiki ai iā ʻoe a me kāu keiki ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i kēia mea

ʻAe, ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kāu keiki e pili ana i ka porn hiki e hoʻāʻo nerve.

Akā, inā ʻoe a me kāu keiki e kamaʻilio mau ana e pili ana i ka moekolohe, ʻae, ʻae ʻana i ke kino, palekana wahine, leʻaleʻa, hāpai keiki, a me ke olakino a me ke olakino holoʻokoʻa, ʻoi aku ka haʻahaʻa o nā kumu o kēlā me kēia kamaʻilio, wahi a Francis.

Ma waho aʻe o ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻana i ka ikaika e hiki ke kūkulu a puni ka "ke kamaʻilio ʻana i ka porn," ʻōlelo ʻo ia i kēia mau kamaʻilio ʻana he mea nui ia no ka hāʻawi ʻana i kāu keiki i kahi kahua o ka ʻike e pili ana i ke olakino. Hāʻawi pinepine iā ia.

Hoʻohui, kōkua kēia i ka hoʻoulu ʻana i ka manaʻo o ka hāmama, no laila ke hina lākou a ʻike paha i ka porn, e hele mai paha lākou iā ʻoe inā he mau nīnau kā lākou.

2. E hoʻolauna i ka porn ma mua o kou manaʻo e pono ai

I ka helu ma luna, ʻae ka poʻe loea i ka manawa kūpono e kamaʻilio ai i kāu poʻe keiki e pili ana i ka porn ma mua ʻike maoli lākou iā ia.Ma kēlā ala, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopili i nā kiʻi a lākou e ʻike ai a kōkua i ka hōʻemi ʻana i kekahi pūhoho, hoʻowahāwahā, a huikau paha a lākou e ʻike ai inā ʻaʻole lākou e ʻike i ka porn me ka ʻike ʻole ʻole i ka ʻike i ka mea mua.

Hoʻomaopopo ʻo Lust i nā kūkākūkā e pili ana i ka porn e pono e hana ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka wā ʻōpio.

"Manaʻo pinepine nā mākua ʻo 13 a 14 paha ka makahiki kūpono e lawe ai [akā], akā ʻo ka hoʻolauna ʻana i ke kumuhana he ʻehā a ʻelima paha mau makahiki ma mua - a i ʻole i kēlā me kēia manawa ke hāʻawi ka makua i ke keiki me ke kākoʻo ʻole ʻia i ka pūnaewele." wahi a.

Ke kamaʻilio ʻoe me kāu poʻe keiki, e hoʻomanaʻo ʻaʻole ʻoe e haʻi wale iā lākou i kahi mea i kapa ʻia ʻo porn. Ke wehewehe nei nō hoʻi ʻoe i ke ʻano o ia a ʻaʻole, a me ka hoʻopili ʻana ma loko o kahi kamaʻilio nui e pili ana i ka ʻae, ka leʻaleʻa, a me ka mana, wahi a Francis.

3. E mālama i kou kani koʻikoʻi akā maʻamau ʻole

Inā he stern a hopohopo nui paha ʻoe, e haʻi pū aku nō ʻoe i kēlā ikehu i kāu keiki, nāna lākou e hāmau a pani i ka manawa kūpono no ke kamaʻilio ʻana ma waena o ʻolua.

"Mai hoʻohilahila i kāu keiki inā manaʻo ʻoe a aʻo paha ua ʻike lākou i ka porn," wahi a Francis. Akā, e hoʻomaopopo i ka ʻimi ʻana i ka moekolohe kahi mahele kūlohelohe o ka ulu ʻana.

"Ma ke ʻano he therapist e hana nui me nā poʻe a puni kā lākou hopohopo moekolohe, maopopo leʻa ka hopena hilahila a me ka maikaʻi ʻole o nā leka i ka manaʻo o ka poʻe iā lākou iho, ka loaʻa ʻana o ke aloha, ke olakino noʻonoʻo, a me nā koho a nā hoa," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

No laila, ma kahi o ke hoʻokokoke ʻana i ke kamaʻilio ma ke ʻano he "hoʻopaʻi" a i ʻole "mākaʻi pūnaewele," makemake ʻoe e hoʻokokoke iā ia ma ke ʻano he kumu a kahu.

ʻOiai e akāka ke kamaʻilio ʻana i nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni makua no ka poʻe pepeiao makua a me ke kaʻanalike ʻana i nā ʻike moekolohe o lākou a i ʻole nā ​​keiki ʻē aʻe i manaʻo ʻia he ponokala kiʻi kamaliʻi, wahi a Francis, "Inā e hoʻokūpaʻa wale ʻoe ʻaʻole ia he kānāwai a ʻae ʻia i kou hale, e nā keiki. hiki ke lilo i makaʻu, hilahila, a i ʻole hoihoi. ”

ʻ sayslelo ʻo Lust hiki iā ia ke kōkua e hoʻomaka i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me ka hōʻoia ʻana i ka moekolohe a me ka moekolohe maʻamau a maʻamau, a haʻi iā lākou i kou manaʻo e pili ana i ka porn mainstream.

E ʻōlelo paha ʻoe, "Ke ʻike wau i nā kiʻi porn mainstream kaumaha wau, no ka mea he nui o kēia mau kiʻi e hōʻike nei i ka hoʻopaʻi ʻia o nā wahine. Akā ʻo ka moe kolohe aʻu a lana ka manaʻo e loaʻa iā ʻoe i kekahi lā kahi ʻike o ka leʻaleʻa, ʻaʻole hoʻopaʻi. "

Kahi komo komo hou? E hoʻohana i kahi hoʻohālikelike. "E wehewehe e like me Superman i hoʻokani ʻia e kahi mea hana keaka ʻole i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo nā hōkū porn i loko o kēia mau kiʻi ʻoniʻoni nā mea hana keaka, akā ʻaʻole pēlā e hana ai ka moekolohe i ke ola maoli," ʻōlelo ʻo Lust.

4. E nīnau lākou i nā nīnau

ʻO ke kamaʻilio e like me kēia ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi e like me kēlā: kahi kamaʻilio. A no kahi mea e kamaʻilio ai, pono e hoʻi i hope.

ʻO ia ka hōʻoia ʻana i ko lākou hoihoi e pili ana i ka moekolohe he maʻamau, a laila hāʻawi iā lākou i kahi e kamaʻilio ai e pili ana a nīnau i nā nīnau.

Ke nīnau lākou i nā nīnau, "E mālama i kā lākou nīnau āpau e like me ka pololei, a pane me ka lawa o ka ʻike e pane piha akā ʻaʻole ka nui e hoʻonāukiuki ʻoe," wahi a Francis. ʻAʻole pono lākou i ka dissertation, akā pono lākou i ka ʻike kikoʻī, maikaʻi kino, a me ke kūpono.

ʻAʻole maopopo i ka pane ua maikaʻi "ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e lilo i loea. Pono ʻoe e hoʻolako i kahi wahi palekana no ke kamaʻilio ʻana, "wahi a Francis. No laila, inā e noi ʻia ʻoe i kahi mea āu e ʻike ʻole ai, e haʻi pololei ʻaʻole maopopo iā ʻoe, akā e ʻike ʻoe a ukali.

Ma ka ʻaoʻao pale, pale i ka nīnau ʻana i kāu keiki i nā nīnau he nui loa. He manawa kūpono kēia na lākou e aʻo mai iā ʻoe, ʻaʻole na ʻoe e suss i kā lākou hana a ʻike ʻole, a i ka mea a lākou i ʻike ai ʻike ʻole ai.

Paipai pū ʻo Francis e hōʻole i ka noi ʻana i kāu keiki no ke aha mai makemake lākou e ʻike i nā mea. "Hiki i kēia hulina ke pani pinepine i nā keiki, no ka mea ʻaʻole paha lākou e makemake e hōʻike i kahi a lākou e lohe ai i nā mea a no ke aha e haʻohaʻo ai," i ʻōlelo ai ʻo ia.

A ʻaʻohe paha lākou he kumu hohonu; e nīnau wale paha lākou no ka mea he nīnau lākou.

5. Kākoʻo i ka pōʻaiapili a me ka ʻae ʻana

E like me kou makemake e hoʻopakele i kāu poʻe keiki mai nā hana pono ʻole a me nā ʻōnaehana hoʻokaumaha i ka honua, e like me kā Francis, he manawa kūpono kēia e hoʻomaka ai e wehewehe i nā mea e like me ka misogyny, ka hoʻowahāwahā ʻia ʻana o ka lāhui, ka hoʻohilahila kino ʻana, a me ka hiki, wahi a Francis. "ʻO ke kamaʻilio porn hiki ke lilo i ʻāpana o ke kamaʻilio nui aʻe a loaʻa i kahi pahuhopu nui," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

No laila, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻohana i kēia ma ke ʻano he manawa e kamaʻilio ai ʻaʻole like nā kino āpau me nā mea hoʻokani porn a i ʻole nā ​​mea hana keaka, a ua maikaʻi, wahi a Francis.

"Hiki i kēia ke kōkua i ka poʻe ʻōpio e mālama i ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana i kā lākou mau kino hoʻomohala ponoʻī a waiho i kahi lumi i kā lākou mau mea i manaʻo ai no lākou a me kā lākou mau hoa e hiki mai ana a e like hoʻi me ka maʻamau, a like ke ʻano me ka moekolohe," wahi a Francis.

A i ʻole, hoʻohana paha ʻoe i kēia ma ke ʻano he manawa kūpono e kamaʻilio pū me lākou e pili ana i ka leʻaleʻa, palekana, ʻae, ke kino a me ka lauoho pubic, a me nā mea hou aʻe.

Inā he mau nīnau kikoʻī kāu keiki, ʻo ia ka lilo i alakaʻi ikaika i ke ala pololei o ke kamaʻilio ʻana. "Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i kahi kamaʻilio maʻamau inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopā i nā mea āpau," wahi a Francis.

6. Kaʻana like i nā kumuwaiwai

Ma waho aʻe o ka wehewehe ʻana i nā hāʻule o ka porn mainstream, ke kūʻē ʻana i ka mea a kāu keiki i ʻike ai a e ʻike ai paha i ka porn he mea nui, wahi a Francis.

No ke aha mai? Ma muli o ke kamaʻilio a me nā mea aʻo e kōkua ai i ka hoʻokomo i nā waiwai e pili ana i nā mea e like me ka ʻae ʻana, ʻae, leʻaleʻa, a me ka nonviolence e kōkua i kāu keiki e hoʻokele maikaʻi i nā mea ponokala a lākou e hui ai.

"ʻO ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i kēia mau pono hana ʻaʻole ia e kōkua i ka poʻe ʻōpio e hana i nā koho i ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a me ka maikaʻi o ka ʻike, a ʻaʻole ia e kāohi iā lākou mai ke komo ʻana i nā ʻano makaʻu," wahi a Francis.

Paipai nā kumu aʻo moekolohe i nā keiki

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• "No ka moekolohe maikaʻi: Ke hoʻololi nei i ke ala a mākou e kamaʻilio ai me nā ʻōpio e pili ana i ka moekolohe, nā waiwai, a me ke olakino" na Al Vernacchio
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A laila, i ka nui ʻana o kāu mau keiki, hiki iā ʻoe ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā koho ʻē aʻe i nā ponokala kiʻi nui, e like me nā mea i aʻo ʻia e ka wahine e like me ka wahine a i ʻole porn ethical, erotica, a me nā mea hou aʻe, wahi a Francis.

"ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e kaʻana like i nā mea me lākou. Akā inā lākou e lilo i mea kūʻai, e kōkua iā lākou e lilo i poʻe kūʻai kūpilikiʻi, "i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

Hiki i kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ke kōkua i ka maikaʻi o ke kamaʻilio ʻana no ʻolua

Ke waiho nei i nā keiki e aʻo e pili ana i ka moekolohe a me ka hana ʻana i ka porn ma kā lākou lau ponoʻī o ke keʻena no nā pilikia ʻaʻole lako lākou e hoʻokele, no laila ke kamaʻilio pū ʻana me kāu poʻe keiki e pili ana i ka porn.

Inā hoʻoweliweli ʻoe, e hoʻomanaʻo i kēlā, e like me kā Francis, "ʻO kāu pahuhopu helu ʻekahi ka hāʻawi iā lākou i kahi palekana e nīnau ai i kā lākou mau nīnau e pili ana i ka porn, ka mea a lākou i ʻike ai ma ka pūnaewele, a me nā mea hou aku," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

A hoʻomanaʻo: ʻAʻole ia i kakahiaka nui a pinepine loa paha i kēia mau kamaʻilio.

ʻO Gabrielle Kassel kahi mea kākau olakino ma New York a me CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. Ua lilo ʻo ia i kanaka kakahiaka, ua hoʻāʻo i ka ʻaʻa a Whole30, a ʻai, ʻona, palaki me ka, holoi ʻia, a ʻauʻau ʻia me ka lanahu - nā mea āpau ma ka inoa o ka puke pai. I kona manawa kaʻawale, hiki ke loaʻa ʻo ia i ka heluhelu ʻana i nā puke kōkua nona iho, ka paina kaomi, a i ʻole ka hulahula lāʻau. E hāhai iā ia ma Instagram.