Lindsey a me Tiger: No ke aha e koho ai nā wahine ikaika i nā kāne nāwaliwali

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Manaʻo ʻoe he 27 mau haku wahine e like me 27 mau hae ʻulaʻula e like me ke ʻano o ka mea heihei waina alpine ʻo Lindsey Vonn akamai i ka dodalom slalom-e noho mamao loa, mamao loa mai Tiger Woods. Ma kahi o Vonn, 28 makahiki, ua koho ʻo ia e haʻalele i nā ʻoiaʻiʻo hilahila a hopohopo nui, me ka mea e pili ana i ke ʻano o kona ʻano like me ka wahine blond ex-wahine 37 makahiki, ʻo Elin Nordegren.

ʻAʻole e ʻōlelo ʻaʻohe mea e like me ka lua a i ʻole ka hoʻōla piha ʻana, akā ma waena o kēia nūhou a me ka mea mele ʻo Rihanna e hui pū me ka rapper Chris Brown, nāna i hōʻeha hewa iā ia i ka makahiki 2009, ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke kānalua: He aha ka mea me ka mana ikaika. nā wahine e hoʻowalewale ʻia e nā kāne scummy?

"ʻO ke kumu o ka hoʻopili ʻana o nā wahine me nā narcissists nani, e like me ka Tiger Woods a me Chris Browns o ka honua, no ka mea, hopu lākou iā lākou i nā lā maikaʻi loa," wahi a Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., kahi LA-based psychologist lapaʻau laikini a me ka mea kākau o ka puke hou ʻO ʻoe ke kumu e ʻai ai ʻoe. "No ka mea, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kēia mau kāne, hiki iā lākou ke hana maikaʻi iā ʻoe, a pēlā ʻoe e ʻike koke ai iā ʻoe iho i ka pili ʻana i kekahi kanaka ʻōpio."

I ka manawa ma lalo o kāna pela, ʻo kēia mau wahine like ʻole e kuhi hewa i nā hana maikaʻi ʻole latent-e like me ka hana ʻino, ka ʻōlelo waha, a me ka infidelity-no ka huhū. "ʻO ia ka maunu kahiko a me kuapo," wahi a Durvasula. "Ke hele nei kēia poʻe, aia lākou, akā ke hele lākou, poina e pili ana."

Hiki i nā mea kākoʻo o Devil ke hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻo Woods lāua ʻo Vonn he kāne kūpono. Esquire ʻO ka mea kākau moʻolelo ʻo Chris Jones, ua hoʻopuka ʻo ia he "match i hana ʻia ma ka lani slogan." (Ua kākoʻo ʻia ʻo Woods e Nike, nona ka huaʻōlelo "Hana wale ia," ʻo Vonn me Under Armor, e hoʻohana nei "E makemake wau.") Malia paha ka mea e pono ai no kēia mau mea hoʻokūkū kiʻekiʻe e ʻoki ʻia lākou mai ka ʻōlinolino like. , lole ʻaina hoʻokūkū ponoʻī.

"Pono ka nui o ka poʻe haʻuki elite e lilo i narcissists i mea e ʻaʻa ai e kūʻē i ka mea i manaʻo ʻia e ka poʻe he mea hiki ʻole ke kanaka," wahi a Durvasula. "ʻO ka manawa pinepine, hana nā narcissists i mau hoa maikaʻi no kekahi i kekahi no ka mea ke pāʻani nei lākou i nā pāʻani like, no laila ʻaʻohe mea e manaʻo e nalowale ana lākou." I ka wā e pili ana i nā celebs, ʻo ia hoʻi, he hoʻolaha maikaʻi ka hoʻolaha ʻana, no laila he lanakila-lanakila no nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua, hoʻohui ʻo ia. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ma ke ʻano he mana mana, ʻo ka hui pū ʻana e hoʻohui wale ana i kā lākou mea kupaianaha (ʻo ia paha ka mea i hoʻowalewale iā Kim Kardashian iā Kanye West), kahi mea e hoʻohilahiʻi ai ka pilina. ʻO ia ke kumu e launa pū ai nā hōkū kiʻiʻoniʻoni i nā hōkū kiʻiʻoniʻoni ʻē aʻe.

Ma muli o ka maʻalahi e hāʻule no kahi jerk-aneane mākou āpau e hana i kekahi manawa-eia nā hōʻailona ʻekolu a Durvasula e ʻōlelo nei e kiaʻi no ka hōʻalo ʻana i ka lure ʻia ʻana e kahi mea nalo.

1. Pa'a 'oe i kona ao

He mau mahina ʻoe i loko a ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hui pū me kāu mau hoaaloha, akā ʻike ʻoe i kāna mau hoa i nā manawa āpau. Me he mea lā e ʻai mau ʻoe ma kāna mau hale ʻaina punahele. A ke hoʻomaka ʻoe e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kahi lā paʻakikī i ka hana, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i komo. "E noʻonoʻo i kēia mau mea no ka mea e hōʻike ana i ka nele o ka hoihoi iā ʻoe a me ka nele o ka pilina," wahi a Durvasula. "Kuhi hewa ka hapa nui o ka poʻe makemake wale ʻoe e lilo ʻoe i ʻāpana o kona honua, akā e pilikia ana kēia i ka holo lōʻihi."

Aloha iā ia a haʻalele iā ia? "E kamaʻilio mua ʻoe, me ka hoʻololi ʻole ʻana iā ia i pāʻani uē, makemake ʻoe e ʻike iā ia i kou mau hoaaloha a hoʻāʻo i kāu mau meaʻai punahele ma kou wahi o ke kūlanakauhale," wahi āna. "Inā ʻaʻole e hoʻololi iki ʻo ia i ka lawe ʻana mai, ʻo ia kāu ala ala."

2. Makemake ʻoe e hoʻololi iā ia

ʻO ka noʻonoʻo no ka hapa nui o nā wahine "makemake wau e hoʻopakele iā ia" a "E lilo wau i aliʻi wahine nona," wahi a Durvasula. "Loaʻa iā lākou i loko o ko lākou poʻo hiki iā lākou ke kōkua i kēia mau kāne e hoʻololi i ka maikaʻi, akā makemake maoli ʻoe e noho pū me kahi mea e pono ai ke hoʻopakele?"

Aloha iā ia a haʻalele paha iā ia? "E noʻonoʻo i ka lāʻau lapaʻau inā pili kēia pilina iā ʻoe, akā inā ʻaʻole, e hoʻokuʻu i ka pō mai ka dodge," ʻōlelo ʻo ia. "Hiki i nā kānaka ke hoʻololi a hiki i kahi kiko akā ʻaʻole like ka nui me ʻoe e noʻonoʻo ai."

3. Manaʻo ʻoe e like me kahi doormat

He mea nui inā ua lohi ʻo ia i ka pāʻina ʻaina no ka mea ua paʻa ʻo ia i ka kalepa, akā ʻo kahi mea ʻē aʻe inā lōʻihi ʻoi loa ʻo ia a hahau paha i kāu hoʻolālā me ka hāʻawi ʻole ʻana iā ʻoe i ke poʻo. ʻO ka mea i ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ʻole ʻaʻole ʻoe e hana i kēia iā ia-hōʻike ʻoe i kāna mau hanana āpau, i ka manawa kūpono.

Aloha iā ia a haʻalele iā ia? Inā mālama ʻoe i kēia pilina, pono ʻoe e ʻōlelo penei, 'ʻAʻole au ʻoluʻolu i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ua lohi mau ʻoe,' "wahi a Durvasula. ʻAʻole pono ia he bitch-fest; a haʻi aku iā ia he mea ʻeha ia. Mai kali i nā mea e hoʻoponopono iā ia iho.

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