Kou Alakaʻi i ka ʻae Kahi
Anter
- Hōʻike Overview
- He aha ka ʻae?
- ʻO kaʻae ʻo:
- Āhea a pehea e noi ai i ka ʻae
- ʻAe ma lalo o ka mana
- He aha ke ʻano o ka ʻae a me ke ʻano
- ʻAʻohe ou ʻae mai kahi mea ʻē aʻe inā:
- Nā ʻōuli waha a me nā ʻole
- Nā kulekele laulā no ka ʻae
- Ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka hōʻeha kolohe
- He aha e hana ai inā ua hōʻeha kolohe ʻia ʻoe
Hōʻike Overview
Ua hoʻokau ʻia ka pilikia o ka ʻae i mua o ke kūkākūkā lehulehu i loko o ka makahiki i hala iho nei - ʻaʻole ma ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa wale nō, akā a puni ka honua.
Ma hope o nā hōʻike he nui o nā hanana kūlana kiʻekiʻe o ka hōʻeha kolohe a me ka hoʻomohala ʻana i ka neʻe o #MeToo, hoʻokahi mea i mālamalama: Pono nui mākou i ka aʻo a me ke kūkā e pili ana i ka ʻae.
ʻOiai ʻo nā mea kaulana e like me Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, a me Kevin Spacey i hoʻomaka paha i ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka ʻae, ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo he 1 i 3 mau wahine a me 1 i nā kāne 6 i ka United States i ʻike i ka hana kolohe i ko lākou ola.
ʻO ka mea i hōʻike ʻia ai i kēia kūkā kamaʻilio hou ʻana, eia nō naʻe, aia he mau manaʻo hakakā e pili ana i ka ʻae a me nā mea e pili ana i ka moekolohe a me ka pue wale.
ʻO ka manawa kēia e kiʻi i nā mea āpau ma ka ʻaoʻao like ke ʻae ʻia.
I mea e kōkua ai i ka holomua i ke kamaʻilio ʻana e pili ana i ka ʻae, ua hana pū ʻo Healthline me NO MORE e hana i kahi alakaʻi e ʻae ai. E nānā i ka mea a mākou e ʻōlelo ai ma lalo.
He aha ka ʻae?
ʻO kaʻae he manawaleʻa, hoihoi, a me ka maopopo ka ʻaelike ma waena o nā mea komo e komo i ka moekolohe kikoʻī. Manawa.
ʻAʻohe wahi no nā manaʻo like ʻole e pili ana i ka ʻae. ʻAʻole hiki i nā poʻe incapacitated e nā lāʻau a me ka waiʻona ke ʻae.
Inā maopopo, hāʻawi manawaleʻa, kūlike, a me ka ʻae mau ʻana ʻaʻole hāʻawi ʻia e nā poʻe komo āpau, ʻo ka hōʻeha kolohe ia. ʻAʻohe wahi no ka pohihihi a kuhi paha i ka wā e ʻae ai, a ʻaʻohe lula ʻokoʻa no ka poʻe i hoʻopili ʻia ma mua.
ʻO ka moekolohe ʻole ka pue wahine.
ʻO kaʻae ʻo:
Maopopo
Maopopo a ʻae ʻole hoʻi ka ʻae. Ke hana hauʻoli nei kāu hoa i ka hana moekolohe? Ua hāʻawi lākou i ka ʻae waha no kēlā me kēia hana moekolohe? A laila ua ʻae ʻoe.
ʻAe ʻole ka hāmau. Mai noʻonoʻo he ʻae kāu - pono ʻoe e wehewehe ma ka nīnau ʻana.
Ke hoʻomau nei
Pono ʻoe e ʻae i kēlā me kēia hana i kēlā me kēia pae o ka moekolohe. He mea nui nō hoʻi e hoʻomaopopo he hiki ke lawe ʻia ka ʻae i kēlā me kēia manawa - ma hope o nā mea āpau, hoʻololi ka poʻe i ko lākou manaʻo!
Kūlikeʻe
Pono i kēlā me kēia mea i komo i ka moekolohe ke ʻae i kā lākou ʻae. Inā inu nui a ʻona ʻole ʻia kekahi e ka wai ʻona a lāʻau paha, a i ʻole ala a makaʻala ʻole paha, hiki ʻole iā lākou ke ʻae.
ʻO ka hōʻole ʻole e ʻike i ka hōʻino ʻia o kekahi kanaka ʻae i ka ʻae ʻana ʻaʻole ia he "moe ʻona." He hōʻeha kolohe.
Hana manawaleʻa
E hāʻawi ʻae ʻia me ka ʻae a me ka makemake. Ke noi hou nei i kekahi e hana i ka moekolohe a hiki i ka manawa a lākou i ʻōlelo ai he ʻae ʻaʻole ia he ʻae, he kaohi.
Koi ʻia ka ʻae no kēlā me kēia, me nā poʻe i pili i ka pilina paʻa a male paha. ʻAʻole koi ʻia kekahi e hana i kekahi mea a lākou e makemake ʻole ai e hana, a ʻo ka pili i ka pilina ʻaʻole e koi i kahi kanaka e komo i kekahi ʻano o ka moekolohe.
He mea nui e hoʻomaopopo i kēlā me kēia ʻano o ka moekolohe me ka ʻae ʻole, e like me ka hoʻopā ʻana, ke aloha ʻana, ka honi ʻana, a me ka moekolohe ʻana, kahi ʻano hoʻomāinoino kolohe a manaʻo ʻia paha he hewa.
Āhea a pehea e noi ai i ka ʻae
He mea nui e noi i ka ʻae ma mua hana i ka moekolohe. ʻO ke kamaʻilio ākea e pili ana i nā mea āu e makemake ai a me ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana i nā palena he mea nui ia i kēlā me kēia pilina, me ka nānā ʻole inā he maʻamau a lōʻihi paha.
I kahi hālāwai moekolohe olakino, pono i nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua ke ʻoluʻolu e kamaʻilio i kā lākou mau pono me ka makaʻu ʻole. Inā ʻoe e hoʻomaka i ka moekolohe, a huhū ʻoe, huhū, a i ʻole kūpikipiki ke hōʻole kāu hoa i kekahi hana moekolohe, ʻaʻole maikaʻi kēia.
Hana ʻia ka moekolohe a i ʻole ka moekolohe ʻole ma muli o ka makaʻu, hewa, a i ʻole kaomi kaohi - a he ʻano ʻano hoʻomāinoino kolohe ia. Inā ʻoe e hana i ka moekolohe a hōʻole ke kanaka e hele i mua a ʻano kānalua paha, kū no kahi manawa a nīnau iā lākou inā ʻoluʻolu lākou e hana i kēlā hana a i ʻole makemake lākou e hoʻomaha.
E hoʻomaopopo iā lākou ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake e hana i kekahi mea a lākou e manaʻo ʻole ai he 100 pākēneka ʻoluʻolu me, a ʻaʻohe mea ʻino ke kali a hana i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe.
I kekahi moe kolohe, ke kuleana o ke kanaka e hoʻomaka nei i ka moekolohe e hōʻoia i ka ʻoluʻolu a me ka palekana o kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe.
E hopohopo paha ʻoe i ka noi ʻana i ka ʻae e lilo i mea pepehi kanaka āpau, akā ʻo ka mea ʻē aʻe - ʻaʻole e noi no ka ʻae a me ka hana kolohe i kekahi. ʻae ʻole ʻia.
Pono ka ʻae a koʻikoʻi hoʻi, akā ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo no ka noho ʻana i lalo no kahi kūkā kūkākūkā a i ʻole nā pūlima kau inoa! Aia he mau ala e noi ai no ka ʻae ʻaʻole ia he buzzkill holoʻokoʻa.
Ma waho aʻe, inā ʻoluʻolu ʻoe e makemake e hoʻokokoke, a laila e kamaʻilio ākea e pili ana i nā mea āu e makemake ai a maikaʻi.
Nā ala e kamaʻilio ai e pili ana i ka ʻae:Hiki iā ʻoe ke hele i ka ʻaoʻao a nīnau:
- Hiki iaʻu ke honi iā ʻoe?
- Hiki iaʻu ke wehe i kēia? Pehea kēia mau mea?
- Makemake ʻoe e moekolohe, a i ʻole makemake ʻoe e kali?
- Hiki iaʻu [hoʻopiha i ka hakahaka]?
Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻohana i ka manawa kūpono e hoʻohana ai i ka kamaʻilio hāmama e pili ana i ka moekolohe a me nā palena e like me foreplay. Eia kekahi mau manaʻo:
- Manaʻo wau he wela ke mākou [hoʻopiha i ka hakahaka], makemake ʻoe e hana i kēia?
- Maikaʻi loa ke ʻano ke ʻoe [hoʻopiha i ka hakahaka], makemake ʻoe e hana i kēia?
- Hiki iaʻu ke wehe i kou kapa?
- Hiki iaʻu ke honi iā ʻoe ma aneʻi?
Inā ʻoe i loko o ka wela o ka manawa, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo:
- ʻOluʻolu ʻoe me aʻu e hana nei i kēia?
- Makemake ʻoe e kū wau?
- Pehea kou ʻoluʻolu e hele ai i kēia pō?
E hoʻomanaʻo he pono e hoʻomau ka ʻae. ʻO kēia ke kumu inā ʻoe i loko o ka ʻeha o ka hana kaumaha a me ka foreplay, pono i kāu pakanā e ʻae ma mua o kou lawe ʻana i nā mea i ka pae aʻe.
Ke noi nei inā ʻoluʻolu lākou, inā makemake lākou, a inā makemake lākou e hoʻomau i ka mea nui, no laila e hoʻomau i ke kamaʻilio a mai hana i nā manaʻo wale nō.
ʻAe ma lalo o ka mana
ʻO ka ʻae ʻana ma lalo o ka mana he kumuhana paʻakikī. He kūpono ʻole (a ʻaʻole kūpono i ke kānāwai) e ʻōlelo ʻaʻole hiki ke ʻae inā inu nā ʻaoʻao. Inu ka poʻe he nui a noho kūlike hoʻi e ʻae.
Eia naʻe, ke aʻo nei i kahi pilina pololei ma waena o ka inu ʻona ʻana a me ka makaʻu no ka hana kolohe. Ma kahi o ka hapalua o ka hoʻouka kolohe e pili ana i ka inu wai ʻona e ka mea hana hewa, ke kanaka i hōʻeha ʻia, a i ʻole ʻelua paha.
ʻO ka hōʻeha kolohe, ʻoiai inā pili ia i ka inu waiʻona, ʻaʻole ia ka hewa o ka mea i hōʻino ʻia. Inā ʻoe a me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i lalo o ka mana, pono ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo i nā makaʻi i ka nānā ʻana inā ʻae ʻoe e komo i ka moekolohe.
Inā ma lalo o ka mana o nā lāʻau a i ʻole ka ʻona ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka haʻi ʻana i kāu palena ponoʻī a noʻonoʻo nui i nā palena o kāu hoa.
Eia kekahi mau kulekele maikaʻi e ukali ai:
- Inā ʻoe e hoʻomaka i ka moekolohe, kuleana ʻoe no ka ʻae ʻana. I ka hihia ma lalo o ka mana o kekahi kanaka, ka wehewehe o ka ʻae - maopopo, hoʻomau, kūlike, a me ka manawaleʻa - he mea nui e like me ka wā ma mua.
- Inā kūleʻa kekahi a ʻaʻole hiki ke kū me ka hilinaʻi ʻole i kekahi mea, hoʻolōʻihi i kā lākou ʻōlelo, hiamoe, a i luaʻi paha, incapacitated lākou a ʻaʻole hiki ke ʻae.
- Inā hōʻike ʻole kekahi i kekahi o nā hōʻailona i luna, akā ʻike ʻoe ua inu lākou a inu paha i nā lāʻau, ua paipai ka papahana ʻo nā kāne maikaʻi e nīnau i kekahi mea e like me, "Ua maopopo anei iā ʻoe ka lawa ʻana o nā hoʻoholo e pili ana i ka moekolohe?" A me ka nānā ʻole i ka mea a kāu hoa e ʻōlelo ai i ka pane ʻana i kēlā, inā manaʻo ʻoe ʻaʻole maopopo pono iā lākou, a laila kū wale.
He aha ke ʻano o ka ʻae a me ke ʻano
ʻIke ʻoe he ʻae kāu i ka wā i haʻi maopopo ai ka mea ʻē aʻe - me ka ʻole o ke kaomi ʻia - a ua ʻae iā ʻoe e hana i kekahi mea.
Eia nā hiʻohiʻona o ke ʻano o ka ʻae:
- Ke hana nei kēlā me kēia kanaka i ka moekolohe me ka hoihoi, ma hope o ka ʻae ʻana i ka moekolohe.
- Aia ke kamaʻilio mau ʻana i kēlā me kēia ʻanuʻu o ke ala ʻoiai e sexting ana, e hoʻopili ana, a i ʻole ma kahi pilina paʻa.
- Ke mahalo nei i kekahi kanaka ke ʻōlelo lākou ʻaʻole a kānalua paha e pili ana i kekahi mea - mai ka hoʻouna ʻana i nā kiʻi ʻoiai e sexting ana i ka hana moekolohe.
- Hiki i ke kanaka ʻē aʻe ke hana i nā hoʻoholo kūpono, a ʻaʻole ona a ʻona ʻole a koi ʻia. Pono e hōʻike manuahi a ʻae hoʻi.
- ʻO ka loaʻa ʻole o kahi “ʻaʻole” ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo no ka “ʻae.” Pēlā nō ia "maliʻa," hāmau, a pane ʻole paha.
ʻAʻohe ou ʻae mai kahi mea ʻē aʻe inā:
- ke hiamoe nei lākou a ʻike ʻole paha
- hoʻohana ʻoe i nā ʻōlelo hoʻoweliweli a hoʻoweliweli paha e hoʻokūʻē i kekahi i kekahi mea
- incapacitated lākou e nā lāʻau a ʻalekohola paha
- hoʻohana ʻoe i kahi kūlana o ka mana a i ʻole hilinaʻi, e like me ke kumu a me ka luna hana
- hoʻololi lākou i ko lākou manaʻo - ʻaʻohe ʻae i ka wā ma mua e like me ka ʻae ma hope
- nānā ʻole ʻoe i kā lākou makemake a i ʻole nā kuhi ʻole e kū, e like me ka hoʻokuke ʻana
- ʻae ʻoe i hoʻokahi hana moekolohe, akā ʻaʻole kekahi hana moekolohe ʻē aʻe
- kaomi aku ʻoe iā lākou e ʻae
Nā ʻōuli waha a me nā ʻole
Kūkākūkā ka poʻe me ka hoʻohana ʻana i nā huaʻōlelo a me nā hana, ʻoiai ʻoi aku ka ʻoluʻolu o kekahi poʻe me kekahi ma mua o kekahi. Hiki i kēia ke hoʻonāukiuki i ka wā e ʻae ai.
ʻO nā kuhi waha ke hoʻohana ke kanaka i nā huaʻōlelo e hōʻike i nā mea a lākou e makemake a makemake ʻole ai, ʻoiai e hāʻawi ʻia nā hōʻailona nonverbal me ka hoʻohana ʻana i kā lākou ʻōlelo kino a i ʻole nā hana e hōʻike ai iā lākou iho.
Eia nā laʻana o nā huaʻōlelo a me nā huaʻōlelo e hōʻike i ka ʻae waha:- Ae
- Maopopo iaʻu
- makemake wau
- Mai kū
- Makemake au e
- Makemake wau iā ʻoe
ʻO kekahi mau laʻana o nā huaʻōlelo a me nā māmalaʻōlelo e hōʻike ana i kāu hana AOLE ʻae ʻia:
- Aʻole
- Kū
- ʻAʻole wau makemake
- ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu
- ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu
- ʻAʻole wau i manaʻo pēlā
- Makemake au, akā…
- He mea hōʻoluʻolu ʻole kēia iaʻu
- ʻAʻole wau makemake e hana hou i kēia
- Kuhihewa kēia
- E kali paha kāua
- Ke hoʻololi nei i ke kumuhana
E kamaʻilio paha kekahi kanaka ʻaʻole lākou e ʻae ma ka hoʻohana ʻana i nā hana a me ka ʻōlelo o ke kino. ʻO kēia nā kuhi nonverbal hiki ke hōʻike ʻia ʻaʻohe ou ʻae.
- e hoʻokuke nei
- e huki ana
- ka hōʻalo ʻana i ka pili maka
- luliluli ko lākou poʻo ʻaʻole
- hāmau
- ʻaʻole e pane kino ʻana - e moe wale ana ma laila me ka neʻe ʻole
- uē ʻana
- ke nānā aku nei makaʻu a kanikau paha
- ʻaʻole e hemo i ko lākou lole ponoʻī
ʻOiai inā e hōʻike ana kekahi e hāʻawi i nā kuhi ʻole i hōʻike ʻia e like me ka mea i loko o ia a makemake e moekolohe, e hōʻoia i ka ʻae waha ma mua o ka hoʻomau ʻana. E hōʻoia a mai manaʻo wale.
ʻO ka manawa pinepine, noho mālie ka poʻe i ʻike i ka hana kolohe a ʻike ʻia e "hāʻawi" i ka hana moekolohe no ka makaʻu i ka ʻeha a makemake paha e hoʻopau ʻia ka hanana, ʻaʻole no ka ʻae ʻana i ka hana.
Nā kulekele laulā no ka ʻae
Eia nā alakaʻi wikiwiki no ka hoʻokomo ʻana i ka moekolohe maʻamau:
- Hiki ke huki ʻia ka ʻae i kēlā me kēia manawa, ʻoiai inā ua hoʻomaka mua ʻoe e pili. Pono e pau nā hana moekolohe ke haʻalele ʻia ka ʻae.
- ʻAʻole pili ka pilina i kekahi i kekahi e hana i kekahi mea. ʻAʻole pono e hōʻike a ʻae ʻia ka ʻae, ʻoiai inā pili ʻoe a i ʻole i moe kolohe ma mua.
- ʻAʻohe ou ʻae inā hoʻohana ʻoe i ka lawehala, hoʻoweliweli, a i ʻole nā hoʻoweliweli e koi aku i kekahi i ka moekolohe, ʻoiai inā ʻōlelo kēlā kanaka "ʻae." Ke ʻōlelo nei no ka makaʻu ka ʻaʻole ʻae.
- Hāmau a i ʻole nele ka pane ʻaʻole ʻae.
- E mōakāka a hoʻopōkole ke kiʻi ʻana i ka ʻae. ʻO kaʻae ʻana e hoʻi i kāu wahi ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e ʻae nei lākou i ka moekolohe.
- Inā ʻoe e hoʻomaka i ka moekolohe me kekahi mea ma lalo o ka mana o ka lāʻau a i ʻole ka ʻalekohola, kuleana ʻoe no ka loaʻa ʻana o ka ʻae mau ʻana. Inā kūleʻa kekahi a ʻaʻole hiki ke kū me ka ʻole o ka hilinaʻi ma luna o kekahi a i kekahi mea paha, hōʻino i kā lākou ʻōlelo, hiamoe, a i luaʻi paha, hiki ʻole lākou a ʻaʻole hiki ke ʻae.
- ʻAʻohe ʻae ke hoʻohana ʻoe i kou mana, hilinaʻi, a i ʻole ka mana e hoʻokūʻē i kekahi i ka moekolohe.
Ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka hōʻeha kolohe
ʻAʻole maopopo ka wehewehe ʻana o ka hoʻouka kolohe ma muli o ke kumu.
ʻO ka hōʻeha kolohe ke ʻano o ka moekolohe, ke kino, ka waha, a me ka hana kiʻi i makemake ʻole ʻia e hoʻokikina i ke kanaka e moe kolohe me kā lākou makemake. Aia nā ʻano like ʻole o ka hoʻouka kolohe.
Aia kekahi mau laʻana:
- pue wale
- hoʻomāinoino
- ʻokiʻoki
- hoʻoluhi
- punahele i makemake ʻole ʻia a hoʻopā paha ma lalo o a i ʻole nā lole ma luna
- ka hōʻike ʻana a i ʻole ka uila ʻana me ka ʻae ʻole
- ke koi nei i kekahi e kiʻi no nā kiʻi moekolohe a i ʻole nā wikiō
- kaʻana like ʻana i nā kiʻi ʻōlohelohe me ka ʻae ʻole (ʻoiai inā hāʻawi ʻia iā ʻoe me ka ʻae)
He aha e hana ai inā ua hōʻeha kolohe ʻia ʻoe
Inā ua hoʻomāinoino ʻia ʻoe, hiki i ka paʻakikī ke ʻike i kahi e huli ai a i ʻole nā ʻanuʻu e lawe aʻe ai. ʻIke ʻaʻole ʻoe wale a ʻO ka mea i hana ʻia iā ʻoe ʻaʻole nou ka hewa.
He aha e hana ai inā ua hoʻomāinoino ʻia ʻoe:- Kāhea iā 911 inā pilikia koke ʻoe a ʻeha paha.
- E kiʻi i kahi mea āu e hilinaʻi ai. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hele ma waena o kēia wale nō.
- Kāhea aku i nā mākaʻi e hōʻike i ka hōʻeha kolohe. He hewa ka mea i hana ʻia iā ʻoe.
- Inā ua kolohe ʻia ʻoe, e kiʻi koke i kahi "kit rape". Hiki ke lawelawe ʻia i kēia ma ka haukapila a i ʻole ke keʻena maʻi a maikaʻi e hōʻiliʻili i nā hōʻike, me ka nānā ʻole inā ua hoʻoholo paha ʻoe e hōʻike i ka hōʻeha kolohe i ka mākaʻi.
- Kāhea aku i kāu kikowaena moekolohe kūloko e ʻimi aʻoaʻo.
- Kāhea i ka Nationalline As assault Hotline ma 1-800-656-4673.
Nui a hewahewa nā kumuwaiwai i loaʻa e kōkua iā ʻoe.
Hāʻawi ʻo NOMORE.org i kahi papa inoa nui o ke kelepona a me nā kumuwaiwai pūnaewele i hiki ke hoʻopili iā ʻoe me nā lawelawe i kāu wahi. E kipa iā https://nomore.org/need-help-now/.
ʻO Adrienne Santos-Longhurst kahi mea kākau manuahi a me ka mea kākau i kākau nui i nā mea āpau i ke olakino a me ke ʻano o ke ola ma mua o ʻumi mau makahiki. Ke hele ʻole ʻo ia i kāna kākau ʻana i ka hale e noiʻi ana i kahi ʻatikala a i ʻole ke ninaninau ʻana i nā ʻoihana olakino, hiki ke loaʻa ʻo ia e holoholo a puni kāna kaona kahakai me ke kāne a me nā ʻīlio i ka huki a i ʻole ka pīpī ʻana e pili ana i ka loko e hoʻāʻo nei e haku i ka papa hoe hoe.