Nalo mākou i kā mākou mau kaikamāhine?

Anter

• Nānā no

I kēlā me kēia lā, hiki ke loaʻa nā kaikamahine ʻōpio [13- a me 14 mau makahiki] e hoʻolei ana i ka ʻaina kakahiaka a me ka ʻaina awakea i ka lumi holoi kula. He mea hui ia: ka hooikaika o na hoa, ka laau koho hou. Hele lākou i nā hui ʻelua a ʻumikūmālua paha, e huli ana i nā keʻena, a aʻo ʻia kekahi i kekahi. . .

"I kaʻu hui o nā hoaaloha, ua pili mākou i ka maʻi ʻelima paona liʻiliʻi. ' ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi o ka emi ʻana o ʻelima mau paona. Pono wau e ʻae, ua hana wau i nā mea a pau e lilo i ke kaumaha. Ua hoʻokē ʻai au no nā lā he ʻumi pololei [sic], hoʻopau i [sic] i ka laxatives, hoʻoikaika i nā hola ʻoi aku ma mua o ka ʻole, ʻai i ka letus i 6 pm e kiola wale ia. ʻIke wau maʻi wau, akā hūnā wau i ka hapa nui o kēia mau mea. ʻIke ʻelua o koʻu mau hoaaloha no ka mea ʻo ko lākou maʻi pū kekahi. .

"Ke inaina wau e ʻōlelo aku, akā ʻo ke kaikamahine ʻokoʻa ia ʻaʻole anorexic a bulimic paha, i kaʻu kula ma nā ʻano ʻē aʻe. He maʻamau kēia. He maʻamau wau a he maʻamau koʻu mau hoaaloha. ʻO mākou nā wahine o ka wā e hiki mai ana."

ʻO kāu mea i heluhelu wale ai mai kahi makahiki 7-ʻaʻohe inoa e hōʻike i kona ʻano; ʻaʻohe "aloha a ʻoiaʻiʻo" e haʻi aku i kona alo, ʻaʻohe wahi hoʻihoʻi e kono ai i kahi pane. Hiki iā mākou ke kiola wale i ka leka i ka ʻōpala. Akā he aha kā mākou e hana ai me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a pau e like me ia-nā kaukani o nā pane i hiki mai i kā mākou kāhea ʻana i nā kaikamahine āpau ma waena o nā makahiki 11 a me 17 e pane i kā mākou nānā kino-kino?

No nā hoʻokolohua a me nā pilikia āu i ʻeha ai, ʻoi aku ka ikaika o ka holo ʻana i kēia lā ma waena o ka ʻōpio. ʻOiai ʻo kēlā mau hitchhikes ʻimi naʻau o ke kauwela i hala aku nei i kēia manawa ma ka cyberblur ma ke ala nui o ka ʻike, e hana wale ana paha ka hoalauna ma hope o ka lua barbecue. ʻAe, ua ʻeha paha mākou i ka moe kolohe, akā hopohopo nā kaikamahine o kēia wā i ka make ʻana mai ia mea. A ʻoiai ʻaʻole he mea hou ka hewa, ua noho mākou i loko o ka papa me ka noʻonoʻo inā he pū kā ke kanaka ma ke pākaukau ma lalo o kona ʻeke ʻeke?

ʻO ka mea hope loa, he manawa kēia e helu ai nā makahiki he 9 i ko lākou mau calorie i ka wikiwiki ma mua o kā lākou kālā, a ʻo nā maʻi ʻai e like me ka Levi. ʻO kekahi manawa hoʻi, i ka manawa o kekahi poʻe ʻōpio, i ko lākou hoʻomanawanui ʻole i ka hoʻouka ʻana i nā kino a lākou e inaina nei, e kāʻalo i nā puna a me nā ʻōpala, e hele pololei ana i ka pahi. "ʻAʻohe mea makemake e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka ʻoki ʻana iā ia iho, akā hana nā kaikamahine," wahi a Peggy Orenstein, ka mea kākau o Nā kaikamahine kula: nā wahine ʻōpio, ka waiwai ponoʻī a me ka Gap hilinaʻi (Doubleday, 1994), ʻo ia ka mea i ʻike i kekahi o kāna mau papa 8 e ʻeha ana iā ia iho me nā pahi pahi a me nā kukui paka. "He ala kēia e hoʻokō ai i kou huhū i kou kino. ʻAʻole wau e kaohi."

Ma hea i hele aku ai nā kaikamahine ʻōpio? Ma kahi o ka ulu ʻana e like me ka pua pua ʻana, me he mea lā ua puhi ʻia lākou mai ka māla o ke kamaliʻi e like me ke kī ʻana o nā pūkuniahi. ʻO ka mea maʻamau, i ka wā e lele ai, ua pōpō lākou i luna e pale i ka hana ʻino.

ʻO ka makahiki he ʻumikūmālima kahi e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke kali no ke ola ʻoiai ʻaʻole e hoʻāʻo ka poʻe a puni ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo i ka maikaʻi ʻole o ka momona.

-16, Maikonekia

ʻIke i ka ulu ʻana o ka pilikia, ua hoʻopili mākou ma Shape me ka Melpomene Institute nonprofit ma St. Paul, Minnesota, i ʻike ʻia no kāna noiʻi ʻana i nā wahine hoʻoikaika kino. Hoʻonohonoho like mākou i kahi noiʻi e huli ai i ka lua o ke ola o kahi kaikamahine kahi, no kekahi, hoʻomaka ke kino o ke kino e palapū a hoʻohaumia i ka manaʻo pilikino iā ʻoe iho, ʻoiai no nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, kiʻekiʻe mau ka hilinaʻi o ke kino a me ka naʻau. No ke aha ka ʻokoʻa? Ua makemake mākou e ʻike. Hiki iā mākou ke aʻo e hōʻino i ke kaʻina hana luku a pale i kekahi o nā pulakaumaka e pili ana i ka meaʻai a me ke kaumaha a mākou e ʻelemakule nei e ʻeha ai? Ma kahi o 3,800 mau pane a me kekahi mau mahina o ka loiloi ma hope, loaʻa iā mākou kekahi mau pane. Akā ʻo ka mea mua, e nānā kākou i nā ʻikepili a puni.

E hui me Cory (ʻaʻole kona inoa maoli), he 16 makahiki mai kekahi kūlanakauhale liʻiliʻi ma Michigan-ke ʻano o ke kaikamahine nāna e hōʻailona i kāna noiʻi me ka maka ʻakaʻaka, he hoaaloha kāna, a ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua hana ʻino ʻo ia i nā laxatives. ("ʻOi aku nā kaikamahine ma mua o ka manaʻo āu e hana nei," wahi a Cory ma ke kelepona. "Hōʻike ʻia nā mea ʻoi loa. ʻO nā poʻe e like me aʻu, ʻaʻohe mea nāna e ʻike.") I kona manaʻo, hoʻomaka nā pilikia me nā kaikamahine ʻōpio no ka mea, "ʻO mākou ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke lilo iā mākou iho, no laila hoʻomaka mākou i ka manaʻo e like me kēlā kanaka a mākou e hūnā nei he mea ʻole. no laila, no kēlā me kēia kumu pupule, hiki iā mākou ke noʻonoʻo ʻo ka nani, ka hemolele, ka mālama ʻana e hāʻawi iā mākou i ka mea a mākou e ʻimi nei. "

He nui nā kaikamahine ma kahi o 11 a i ʻole 12 makahiki e hoʻomaka ana e haʻalele i ko lākou leo ​​a nalowale ko lākou wiwo ʻole-ʻo ka puʻuwai e haʻi pololei i ko lākou manaʻo mai ka puʻuwai mai-e like me ka hana paionia a Annie G. Rogers, Ph.D., a me Carol Gilligan, Ph.D. ., a me nā mea ʻē aʻe ma ka Harvard Project on Women's Psychology and Girls' Development i aʻo i nā ʻōpio no 20 mau makahiki. I kēia manawa, wahi a ka poʻe noiʻi, hele pinepine nā ʻōpio i "lalo honua" me ko lākou mau manaʻo maoli a me ko lākou mau manaʻo a hoʻomaka i ka hoʻoheheʻe i kā lākou kamaʻilio me "ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu."

ʻAʻole nui ka hoʻoikaika ʻana i nā kaikamahine ʻōpio. ʻAʻole loa, "OK, hiki iā ʻoe ke hana." ʻO ia mau nō, "E waiho i kou kaikunāne e hana." He mea make.

-18, New Jersey

I ka makahiki 1991, ua hōʻike ʻia kahi noiʻi wāwahi honua e ka ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa o nā Wahine Wahine (AAUW) i ka nui o ka ulu ʻana o ka manaʻo pilikino iā lākou e hele ana i loko o kā lākou mau makahiki ʻōpio, keu hoʻi ma waena o nā poʻe keʻokeʻo a me nā Hispanics: 60 pākēneka o nā kaikamahine kula haʻahaʻa e ʻōlelo mau ana " hauʻoli wau i koʻu ʻano, "akā he 29 pākēneka wale nō o nā haumāna kula kiʻekiʻe i hōʻike like - kahi hāʻule e hōʻike ana i kahi ākea ākea o ka hilinaʻi ma waena o nā kāne, me ka noʻonoʻo ʻana ua hāʻule nā ​​keikikāne mai 67 wale nō pakeneka a 46 pakeneka. I kēia manawa, ua ʻike ʻia ke aʻo ʻana ʻoiai nā kāne ʻōpio i kapa i kā lākou taleni e like me ka mea a lākou e makemake nui ai e pili ana iā lākou iho, hoʻokumu nā wahine i kā lākou waiwai i ka helehelena o ke kino.

"Ua manaʻo mākou i ka wā i hoʻomaka ai mākou e ʻokoʻa nā mea 20 mau makahiki ma hope o ke poʻo inoa IX, nā pono kīvila, a me ka nui o nā wahine e hana nei i kēia manawa i kula kula a me nā kānāwai," wahi a Anne Bryant, ka luna hoʻomalu o ka AAUW. "Akā ʻoiai e loaʻa nā kaikamahine a me nā keikikāne i nā papa like-a hiki i nā kaikamahine ke hana ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi-ʻo nā leka a lākou e kiʻi nei mai ke kaiāulu, nā makasina, nā kīwī, nā hoa a me nā mākua, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o kā lākou waiwai. .

Nīnau: He aha nā mea e hōʻoluʻolu ai i kou ʻano?

Pane: Ke holo wau i ʻelima mau mile a hiki ke lele i kaʻaina awakea.

Q: He aha nā mea e hōʻino ai ʻoe i kou ʻano?

A: Ke hoʻoikaika ʻole wau a ʻai [wau].

-17, Wasinetona

ʻOiaʻiʻo, aʻo ke kaikamahine ʻōpio o kēia wā e ana i kona waiwai ma ka pālākiō-ʻo ka haʻahaʻa o ka helu, ʻoi aku ka kiʻekiʻe o kāna helu. A me nā calories a me nā momona momona i pai ʻia i kēia manawa ma ka hapa nui o nā mea kūʻai aku, hānai maoli ʻo ia i ka makemakika o ka lawe kino ʻana. Manaʻo ka National Institute of Mental Health i hoʻokahi pākēneka o nā kaikamahine ʻōpio e hoʻomohala i ka anorexia nervosa a ʻelua pākēneka ʻē aʻe i ʻekolu pakeneka o nā wahine ʻōpio e lilo i bulimic. Akā e pili ana kēlā mau helu i nā kūlana koʻikoʻi koʻikoʻi; mai nā moʻokāki āpau, ua komo hewa ka ʻai i loko o kēlā me kēia hale ʻaina kiʻekiʻe.

ʻO Catherine Steiner-Adair, Ed.D., ka luna hoʻonaʻauao, ka pale ʻana a me ka hoʻolaha ʻana ma ka Harvard Eating Disorder Center hou, ʻike ʻo ia i nā maʻi ʻai e like me ka ulu ʻana "adaptive" pane i kahi moʻomeheu e hoʻāʻo ai i kahi kaikamahine ʻōpio, "Lose elima paona a ʻoe ' maikaʻi wau, "ʻoiai e kaomi iā ia e pōloli iā ia iho i mea e hele ai i mua.

Mai ka wā kamaliʻi, wehewehe ʻo Steiner-Adair, ua aʻo ʻia kahi wahine e hilinaʻi nui i ka ʻae a me ka pane mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a hana i kāna ʻike i loko o ka pōʻaiapili o nā pilina. Akā i ka wā ʻōpio manaʻo ʻia ʻo ia e hoʻololi i nā kapa i kahi "hana pilikino", a lilo i kūʻokoʻa loa mai ka poʻe i ke ʻano o ka nohona ʻana o nā kāne - inā makemake ʻo ia e loaʻa kahi kaohi e ka piʻi ʻana i ka alapiʻi ʻoihana.

I hoʻokahi noi, ua hoʻokaʻawale ʻo Steiner-Adair i nā kaikamahine 32, 14 a 18 mau makahiki, i ʻelua mau hui: hiki i nā ʻōpio Wise Wise ke hoʻomaopopo i nā mea i ʻike ʻia ma ka moʻomeheu akā hoʻomau lākou i ka nānā i ke koʻikoʻi o nā pilina i ko lākou ʻimi ʻana i ka hoʻopihapiha ʻana iā lākou iho. Ua hui pū nā kaikamahine Super Woman me ka lahilahi me ke kūʻokoʻa, kūleʻa a me ka ʻike no ka kūʻokoʻa kūʻokoʻa, e ʻimi nei e lilo i mea superlative - kahi wahine kiʻi kaulana, waiwai nui, pelekikena ʻoihana. ʻOiai ʻo ka nui o nā kaikamahine e hopohopo e pili ana i ko lākou kaumaha, ʻike ʻo Steiner-Adair ʻo ka makaʻu wale nō o nā kaikamahine Super Women no ka ʻai ʻana i nā maʻi.

'Ōlelo nā kānaka a pau iaʻu he nani koʻu kaikuaʻana -- he anorexic a me ka bulimic.

17-Kanada

ʻIke loa, ʻaʻole kēlā me kēia 13 mau makahiki i kahi maʻi ʻai, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o nā hōʻailona no ka Club Bulimia, akā ʻo ke kiʻi o ka luaʻi nui e wehewehe pono i ka hanauna post-X o nā wahine ʻōpio e hoʻomaʻemaʻe nei i ko lākou kūʻiʻo i loko a me ka hilinaʻi e hopu ana, ma kahi o nā lālā palupalu o ka helehelena i ka frantic uphill scramble i ka wahine. ʻO ka pinepine, haki nā lālā.

"Pono mākou e manaʻoʻiʻo pono mākou, ʻaʻole pono mākou e hemolele, pono mākou e lilo i ko mākou ʻano," wahi a Cory. "Akā hiki iā ʻoe ke kākau i kēlā mea a ʻaʻole naʻe e hoʻomaopopo i ka poʻe. . . Ke makemake nei au e ʻoi aku ka lahilahi. Ke hoʻomau nei au i ka binge i kekahi manawa, a no kekahi kumu ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hoʻolei iaʻu iho i ka hope o kaʻu laxatives," wahi āna.

ʻO ka mea hope loa, ʻaʻole hiki i kekahi o mākou ke hoʻokahuli i ka moʻomeheu me ka lima hoʻokahi, akā ʻo nā hopena o kā mākou nānā kino kino hōʻike ʻia i kēlā me kēia kanaka, hiki iā mākou ke hana i nā hoʻololi liʻiliʻi e hoʻohui. ʻOiai inā kōkua mākou i kekahi kaikamahine e hoʻomanaʻo i kāna mau ʻōlelo ponoʻī a me ka hilinaʻi i kona kino, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ka nalo ʻana mai kā mākou hanauna e hiki mai ana.

ʻAʻohe oʻu manaʻo o koʻu ʻano. I kekahi mau lā ala wau a manaʻo e like me kahi ʻōpala kahiko nui. I kekahi manawa maikaʻi koʻu manaʻo. Ke huki maoli nei i koʻu ola, ka mea kiʻi-kino holoʻokoʻa.

- Cory, 16

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