Ke hopohopo nei anei kāu moe kolohe iā ʻoe?

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He pō Pōʻalima kēia, a ke hoʻomehana nei nā mea ma lalo o nā uhi. Aia nā lehelehe i nā wahi kūpono āpau, ke ʻōlelo nei ʻo ia i nā mea kūpono āpau, a laila hikiwawe, komo kou ex i kou lolo. Maliʻa paha he mea kāu kāne i hana ai. A i ʻole he kumu ʻole paha ia. A ʻoiai ʻaʻole he clue kāu kāne du jour i kekahi mea i hana ʻia, a hiki i ka wā e haʻalele ai ʻoe i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i kāu lapalapa mua, ʻaʻole ʻoe e hoʻi i ke ala.

ʻO kāu papa helu o exes-no mea pehea ka hopena-hopena i kāu ola wahine i kēia lā. Ma hope o nā mea āpau, ʻoiai nā kāne o ka makahiki i hala ka makahiki (a he nui, mahalo nō!), Aia nō lākou ma laila. ʻO kēlā keikikāne mai ke koleke nāna ʻoe i hoʻomaopopo i ke kemika hiki ke kokoke i ke kino a ʻo kēlā kanaka ʻē hou ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kāpae i kou mau lima ke kuleana ʻelua no ke kālai ʻana i kāu mau ʻike ma hope o nā puka paʻa. ʻO ka pilikia, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana o kekahi o mākou ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe i ka wā e hiki mai ana i nā lanakila i hala. No laila pehea e kipaku aku ai i nā ʻuhane maʻamau o nā hoa i hala, e hōʻea i ka noho me kāu noho o kēia lā, a lilo i ka manawa i loko o kahi moe.

ʻO ka ʻuhane: Nā mākau XXX o kāu ex

Pākuʻi iā ia: He mea kupanaha ke kanaka āu e noho pū nei, akā ʻo ke kanaka āu i noho pū ai i ka wā ma mua kupanaha nā mākau lumi moe-i makemake ʻoe e ʻike hou. E hoʻokuʻu iā ia mai kou manaʻo ma ke kamaʻilio ʻana e pili ana i kāu mau makemake iā Mr. Now. ʻOi aku ka nui o ka moekolohe ma mua o ka hana kino, a ʻo ka hiki ke kamaʻilio pololei e pili ana i ka huli ʻana (a i ʻole e hōʻike iā ia i kāu mea e makemake ai) ʻo ia ke kī, wahi a Holly Hein, Ph.D., mea kākau o Nā Alanui Moekolohe: ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo hoʻomaka ma hope o ke aloha, kuko, a me ka pili pono ʻole.

ʻO kaʻuhane: He hoʻomanaʻo moe kolohe

Pākuʻi iā ia: He neʻe paha i hele a weliweli a ʻōlelo paha i ʻōlelo ʻia e kāu ex i waena o ka hana i hiki ʻole iā ʻoe ke hoʻoluliluli, nā mea hoʻomanaʻo haʻahaʻa ma mua o ka maikaʻi i hiki ke kolo i nā manawa kūpono ʻole. Inā he mea hiki ʻole iā ʻoe ke haʻalele i kou poʻo, no ka mea he mea hilahila a hoʻopilikia maoli paha iā ʻoe, e hoʻopuka pū me kāu kāne, wahi a Hein. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hele i loko o nā kikoʻī, akā ʻo ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana iā ia i waho ke lilo i ʻanuʻu mua loa i ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana i ka manaʻo. I kēia manawa, inā he mea āu i hoʻāʻo ai a makemake ʻole, a laila maikaʻi loa e hoʻokaʻawale iā ia mai kāu repertoire lumi moe i kēia manawa. "ʻO ka mea āu e ʻoluʻolu ai e hana ma hope o hoʻokahi a ʻelua paha mau makahiki i kahi pilina he ʻokoʻa loa ia ma mua o ka mea āu e ʻoluʻolu ai ma hope o kekahi mau mahina wale nō," hoʻomanaʻo iā Karen Ruskin, Psy.D., ka mea kākau o Ka Manuahi Manuahi ʻo Kauka Karen.

ʻO kaʻuhane: Pau kāu ex i kāu hānai Facebook a ma kou lolo

Pākuʻi iā ia: Malia paha ua hoʻoholo ʻoe a ua hoʻoholo ʻo ia e noho mau hoaaloha a i ʻole ua hoʻokau paha ʻoe i kahi kaʻa kaʻa uila iki. ʻO ke kumu, paʻa ʻo ia i kou poʻo. ʻAʻole ia he mea kupanaha no ka ʻae ʻana o ka poʻe loea i ka nui o kou ālai ʻana iā ia i kou ola i kēlā me kēia lā, ʻo ka liʻiliʻi o kāna pope ʻana i nā manawa i helu ʻia ʻo X. "ʻOiai inā ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole pono ʻo ia iā ʻoe, hiki i kou kino ke ʻiʻini i ke kemika āu i loaʻa ai me kahi ex," wahi a Ruskin. Inā ʻo ia ka hihia, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi e hana i kahi mamao ma waena o ʻolua. "ʻAʻole ia he mea ʻino, he ʻoiaʻiʻo," wahi āna. "Malia paha hiki iā ʻoe a me kāu ex ke hoa aloha i hoʻokahi makahiki a i ʻole ʻelua, akā pono ʻoe i kahi manawa e hoʻomaʻalili ai ke kemika."

ʻO kaʻuhane: Piʻi kēlā kanaka ʻino mai ka hale kūʻai kope i nā moeʻuhane haumia

Pākuʻi iā ia: He ʻāpana maʻamau ka moemoeā o ke ola wahine olakino, wahi a Wagner. "He kanaka mākou a hele ka noʻonoʻo i kēlā manawa kēia manawa. ʻOiai ʻaʻole lākou e hoʻopilikia i ka pili ma waena o ʻolua a me kāu hoa, ʻaʻohe mea e hopohopo ai." Ma hope o nā mea āpau, ke hoʻopuni nei iā ʻoe iho me kahi ʻano hoʻopulapula iki ʻaʻole maikaʻi loa no ka lumi moe. Akā inā ʻike mau ʻoe i kou noʻonoʻo e ʻauwana ana a i ʻole e kuhi i kahi kiʻi o kahi kāne ʻē aʻe e pīhoihoi, a laila he hōʻailona paha ia ʻaʻole pololei kekahi mea i kāu pilina.

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