He aha kāu Style Masturbation e ʻōlelo e pili ana iā ʻoe

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E haʻi aku wau iā ʻoe i kahi mea huna: ʻAʻole wau i ʻike maoli pehea e hoʻopā iaʻu iho a hiki i koʻu wā i ke kulanui. Hana wau i ka moekolohe, ʻoiaʻiʻo, akā ua ʻoluʻolu wau me kahi mea haʻalulu ʻoiai wau me ka pahi kaua (a.k.a., ʻaʻole iki) a ua maopopo ʻole iaʻu ka mea e hana ai me kuʻu mau lima ponoʻī.

Kahaha paha kēia? Nui mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka moekolohe ("Ua moe ʻoe i ka pō nei?" "Maikaʻi paha kēlā kāne mai Tinder i kahi moe?" "Pehea ka moekolohe ma ke ākea?" "Ua ʻike anei ʻoe i ka mea hou? 50 malu hale kiʻi kiʻi kiʻiʻoniʻoni?"). Akā, ʻaʻole pinepine mākou e kūkākūkā i nā kikoʻī o kēlā mau kau wahine e hoʻopili wale iā mākou iho: pehea kā mākou makemake e hana ai, kahi a mākou e makemake ai e hana, a me kā mākou hana e hana ai mākou i ka maikaʻi loa. A, kaumaha loa, ʻoiai ʻo ka leʻaleʻa ponoʻī kekahi o nā ʻano leʻaleʻa maikaʻi loa.

No laila, eia kahi alakaʻi. E noʻonoʻo e like me ka mana makua o kēlā mau mea Umikumāhiku nā nūpepa magazine nāna i haʻi iā ʻoe pehea e koho ai i ka lole kūpono no kou ʻano pilikino-koe wale nō kēia e pili ana i ka hoʻopā ʻana iā ʻoe iho. He mea nui ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa (hoʻomaha ia i ke koʻikoʻi, hoʻohuli i nā maʻi puʻuwai, a manaʻo weliweli). Akā, ʻeā, ʻaʻole mākou e hoʻāʻo e noʻonoʻo nui iā mākou iho ma ke Keʻena Masturbation. No laila, e heluhelu ma-a inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i loko o ka papa ʻehiku-esque fit of giggles ʻoiai ʻoe e noʻonoʻo nei i ke ʻano masturbation i kūpono iā ʻoe, e noʻonoʻo mākou i kā mākou hana i hana maikaʻi ʻia. [E heluhelu i ka moʻolelo piha ma Refinery29!]

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