4 ʻIke e pili ana i ka huhū wahine e kōkua iā ʻoe e mālama i ke olakino

Anter

• 1. ʻAʻole huhū ka huhū
• 2. Hūnā ka huhū i nā hopena
• 3. Hiki ke makaʻu i ka naʻau i ka hopena
• 4. Nā ala olakino e hōʻike ai i ka huhū

Hiki i ka huhū ke hoʻoikaika, inā ʻike ʻoe i ka mea olakino a me ka mea ʻole.

Ma kahi kokoke i ʻelua mau pule i hala aku nei, ua nānā ka hapa nui o mākou i ka hōʻike wiwo ʻole a Kauka Christine Blasey Ford i mua o ka Senate i kona haʻi ʻana i nā kikoʻī pili pili i kāna trauma ʻōpio a me ka hoʻopiʻi hoʻomāinoino ʻia e ka mea i koho ʻia e ka luna kānāwai kiʻekiʻe, ʻo Judge Brett Kavanaugh.

Ua hōʻoia ʻo Kavanaugh e ka Senate i kēia manawa a he luna kānāwai kiʻekiʻe loa. ʻO ka huhū mai nā wahine he nui, nā mea i pakele i ka moekolohe, a me nā kāne kāne i ka neʻe #metoo i ukali ʻia.

ʻO kā Kavanaugh hoʻokohu ʻia ʻana i mua o ka maopopo ʻole e pili ana i kāna mōʻaukala hoʻoweliweli wahine kekahi o nā hanana i manaʻo ʻia he nui nā wahine e like me ka holomua i nā pono kaulike ma waena o nā kāne a me nā wahine i kū.

A ua unuhi ʻia i loko o nā kūʻē lehulehu, kūkākūkā ākea e pili ana i nā hopena hōʻino o kahi kaiāulu kahi e paʻa ai nā kāne i nā kūlana o ka mana, a me ka huhū nui.

ʻAʻole ʻoluʻolu mau ʻia ke mele o nā kūʻē kūʻē wahine - keu hoʻi ke ʻike ke kaiāulu ʻo mākou nō huhū.

No nā kāne, manaʻo kāne ʻia ka huhū. No nā wahine, haʻi pinepine ke kaiāulu iā mākou ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia.

Akā nā leka moʻomeheu i huhū ka huhū o ka wahine hiki ke hoʻopōʻino i ko mākou olakino a me ke olakino. ʻLelo ʻia, ma ke ʻano he wahine, ʻo kēlā huhū maikaʻi ʻole hiki ke hoʻokumu i ka hilahila, kahi e pale ai iā mākou mai ka hōʻike ʻana i kēia manaʻo olakino.

ʻOiai ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke kaohi i ka loaʻa ʻana o ko mākou huhū i ka poʻe ʻē aʻe - ke ʻike nei pehea e ʻike ai, e hōʻike ai, a e hoʻohana ai i kēia naʻau.

Ma ke ʻano he psychologist, eia ka mea aʻu e makemake ai e ʻike nā wahine a me nā kāne e pili ana i ka huhū.

1. ʻAʻole huhū ka huhū

Ke ulu nei i loko o nā ʻohana kahi i kāhili ʻia ai ka hakakā ma lalo o ke kapeta a i ʻole i hōʻike kolohe ʻia hiki ke hoʻokomo i ka manaʻo he weliweli ka huhū.

He mea nui ia e hoʻomaopopo ʻaʻole hōʻeha ka huhū iā haʻi.

ʻO ka mea e hōʻino ana pehea e launa ai ka huhū. ʻO ka huhū i hōʻike ʻia ma ke ʻano he hoʻomāinoino kino a waha paha i haʻalele i nā makaʻu o ka naʻau, akā ʻo ka huhū i kaʻana ʻole ʻia me ke kolohe hiki ke hoʻoulu i ka pilina a kōkua i ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i nā pilina.

ʻO ka huhū kahi hōʻailona kalepa manaʻo Hōʻike ia iā mākou ua hana ʻino ʻia a hōʻeha ʻia mākou i kekahi ʻano. Ke hilahila ʻole mākou i ko mākou huhū, hiki iā ia ke kōkua iā mākou e ʻike i kā mākou pono a mahi i ka mālama ponoʻī.

2. Hūnā ka huhū i nā hopena

ʻO ka manaʻo ʻana he ʻona ka huhū hiki iā mākou ke ale i ko mākou inaina. Akā hūnā i kēia naʻau i nā hopena. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ka huhū mau i nā olakino olakino e like me ka hiamoe ʻole, ka hopohopo, a me ke kaumaha.

Hiki i ka huhū i hoʻonā ʻole ʻia a hōʻike ʻole ʻia hoʻi ke alakaʻi i nā ʻano ola kino ʻole, e like me ka hoʻohana ʻana i ka lāʻau, ka ʻai nui ʻana, a me ka hoʻolilo kālā ʻana.

Pono e hōʻoluʻolu i nā manaʻo hōʻoluʻolu ʻole, a ke loaʻa ʻole iā mākou ke kākoʻo aloha, ʻike mākou i nā ala ʻē aʻe e hoʻopau ai i ko mākou mau manaʻo.

E mālama i kou mau manaʻo olakino ma ka hōʻike ʻana iā lākou ʻOiai inā he manaʻo palekana ʻole e kū i ke kanaka ʻeha a i ʻole ke kūlana, nā puka e like me ka puke pai ʻana, ke mele ʻana, ka noʻonoʻo ʻana, a i ʻole ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kahi mea lapaʻau hiki ke hāʻawi i kahi cathartic outlet no ka hoʻonāukiuki.

3. Hiki ke makaʻu i ka naʻau i ka hopena

Ke hilinaʻi nei i ko mākou huhū e hoʻololi i nā hopena hiki ke alakaʻi iā mākou i ka manaʻo ʻole, kaumaha, a me ka hōʻeha, keu hoʻi inā ʻaʻole e loli ke kanaka a i ʻole ke kūlana.

Me ka noʻonoʻo, ma mua o ke alo ʻana i kekahi, e nīnau iā ʻoe iho: "He aha kaʻu e manaʻo ai e loaʻa mai kēia pilina?" a "Pehea wau e ʻike ai inā ʻaʻohe mea e loli?"

ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke hoʻololi i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, a ʻoiai e hoʻonāwaliwali paha kēlā, hiki ke hoʻokuʻu ʻia hoʻi e ʻike i ka mea a mākou hiki a hiki ʻole kāohi.

4. Nā ala olakino e hōʻike ai i ka huhū

ʻO ka hoʻohana ʻana i nā ʻōlelo "I" kahi ala maikaʻi loa e haʻi waha ai i nā manaʻo huhū.

Hiki i ka ʻona ʻana i kou mau manaʻo ke palupalu i nā pale a ka mea ʻē aʻe, e ʻae iā lākou e hoʻolohe a ʻae i kāu mau ʻōlelo. Ma kahi o ka ʻōlelo ʻana, "huhū mau ʻoe iaʻu," e hoʻāʻo e ʻōlelo, "huhū wau no ka mea ..."

Inā hiki ʻole ke hoʻokūkū i ke kanaka, ke kuhikuhi nei i kou ikehu i ka activism hiki ke hāʻawi i kahi ʻano o ke kaiāulu, hiki ke kākoʻo a hoʻōla.

I nā hanana i pakele ai ka poʻe i ka ʻehaʻeha, e like me ka hoʻomāinoino, hōʻeha, a i ʻole ka make ʻana o kahi mea aloha, e ʻike ana i kou ʻike e kōkua i kekahi kanaka i hiki ke manaʻo he mana.

ʻO Juli Fraga kahi loiloi psychologist i laikini ʻia ma Kapalakiko, Kaleponi. Ua puka ʻo ia me kahi PsyD mai ke Kulanui o Northern Colorado a hele i kahi pilina postdoctoral ma UC Berkeley. ʻO Passionate e pili ana i ke olakino wahine, hele ʻo ia i kāna mau kau āpau me ka mahanahana, kūpaʻa, a me ke aloha. E ʻike he aha ʻo ia ʻO Twitter.