9 ʻ Tipslelo aʻoaʻo makua no ka hānai ʻana i kahi keiki kamakahi

Anter

• 1. ʻAʻole hiki ke lawa nā lā pāʻani.
• 2. ʻAe i ke kūʻokoʻa.
• 3. Paipai i ka manaʻo pilikino.
• 4. Hoʻā ʻia nā kuko.
• 5. Aniani olakino pilina.
• 6. E hōʻole i ka swoop.
• 7. Paipai i ke aloha.
• 8. E lilo i leo no ke kumu.
• 9. Mai kūʻai i ka hype.

Makemake mau au i ʻelima mau keiki, kahi home nui a huehuehu, piha mau i ke aloha a me ka pīhoihoi. ʻAʻole loa i loaʻa iaʻu kahi wale nō i kekahi lā.

Akā i kēia manawa, eia wau. ʻO kahi makuahine kūmua ʻole i kahi keiki ʻōpio, wehe i ka manaʻo o ka loaʻa hou ʻana, akā ʻoiaʻiʻo nō hoʻi e pili ana i ka ʻike ʻaʻole hiki ke hōʻike i ka manawa kūpono iā ia iho. ʻO kaʻu kaikamahine paha wale nō ma hope o nā mea āpau.

No laila, ua hana wau i kaʻu noiʻi. E like me ka nui o nā mākua, ua lohe wau i nā stereotypes maikaʻi ʻole e pili ana i nā keiki wale nō, a makemake wau e hana i nā mea āpau i koʻu mana e kōkua i kaʻu kaikamahine e hōʻalo i kēlā hopena. ʻO ia ka mea i alakaʻi iaʻu i kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ʻeiwa aʻu e hoʻolālā ai i ka hoʻokumu ʻana i kaʻu mau keiki makua ponoʻī.

1. ʻAʻole hiki ke lawa nā lā pāʻani.

Ua ʻike ʻia kahi noiʻi 2004 i ka Pai no ka male ʻana a me ka ʻohana he mau keiki wale nō ka "ʻilihuna o ka nohona" ma mua o kā lākou mau hoa me nā kaikaina.

Akā ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e hoʻoholo wale ʻia kāu wale nō. Ke hōʻike nei i kāu keiki i nā ʻano nohona like ʻole, a ke hāʻawi nei iā lākou i nā manawa kūpono e launa pū me kā lākou mau hoa mai ka wā ʻōpio, hiki ke kōkua i ka pale ʻana i kekahi o kēlā hemahema.

2. ʻAe i ke kūʻokoʻa.

Me nā keiki he nui, hoʻolaha nā mākua i ka lahilahi. ʻO ka manaʻo ʻaʻole i loaʻa i nā keiki me nā kaikaina ka makuahine a me ka makuakāne e kau ana ma luna o lākou i kēlā me kēia minuke.

He mea maikaʻi paha kēlā no ka hoʻomohala ʻana i ke kūʻokoʻa a me nā kuko pilikino. ʻAʻohe o nā keiki ʻelua i nā manawa kūpono e ulu ai. ʻIke wau me kaʻu kaikamahine a ʻo wau, ʻo ko mākou hōʻeuʻeu pinepine pinepine iā mākou e kūʻē i ka honua i kekahi manawa poina wau i ka hoʻi i hope a ʻae iā ia e lele iā ia iho.

Ke koi nei iaʻu iho e hāʻawi iā ia i kēlā ākea ke ala hoʻokahi e hoʻomohala ai ʻo ia i kona mau ʻeheu ponoʻī.

3. Paipai i ka manaʻo pilikino.

Wahi a Susan Newman, ka mea kākau o "The Case for the Only Child," ʻoi aku ka nui o nā mea i loaʻa ma mua o nā keiki me nā kaikaina e ʻimi i ka hōʻoia kaiāulu a me nā manawa kūpono e komo ai.

I mea e hoʻonāwaliwali ai i kēlā, mahalo i ka individualism i kāu keiki mai ka wā ʻōpio. Kōkua iā lākou e waiwai i ke kū hoʻokahi, ma mua o ka ʻāpana o ka lehulehu.

4. Hoʻā ʻia nā kuko.

Makemake e pepehi i kekahi mau manu me ka pōhaku hoʻokahi? E hoʻokomo i kāu poʻe keiki i nā hana ma waho o ka hale.

ʻAʻole wale kēia e hāʻawi iā lākou i ka manawa e launa pū me kā lākou mau hoa, e kōkua pū ia iā lākou e ʻike i kahi o kēlā mau hana a lākou e makemake nui ai. Hiki i kēia ke hoʻonāukiuki i kahi o ka pilikino a me ke ʻano ponoʻī e hiki ke lawelawe i ka pōmaikaʻi i nā keiki āpau, akā ʻoi paha ka hopena.

5. Aniani olakino pilina.

Wahi a kahi noi ma ke Kulanui ʻo Ohio State 2013, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka hiki o ka hemo ʻana o ka onlies.

Ua manaʻo nā kānaka noiʻi e hoʻi kēia i kēlā mau mākau kaiapili i hōʻemi ʻia. ʻAʻole pono e aʻo ʻo Onlies i ka hana kuʻikahi i ke ʻano o nā keiki me nā kaikaina. Ua ʻike ʻia nā hopena i hoʻopaʻa ʻia me kēlā me kēia keiki a hiki i ka ʻehiku, piʻi aʻe ka pale ʻana i ka haʻalele male ʻē aʻe. Akā ma muli wale nō o ka pilina ma laila ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e koi ʻoe i nā keiki hou aku.

Ma hope o nā mea āpau, nui nā kumu ʻē aʻe e hele i ka wā hemo hope. ʻO kekahi ala e kōkua ai e aniani i kahi pilina male olakino no kāu wale nō. A i ʻole ʻimi i nā kāne ʻē aʻe i kou ʻohana nui a me ka pōʻai aloha i hiki ke lawelawe ma ke ʻano o kēlā mau hiʻohiʻona.

6. E hōʻole i ka swoop.

Pilikia nā mākua āpau me ka makemake e pale aku i kā lākou keiki. Akā, ʻo nā mea e pono ai, pono e aʻo pehea e hoʻokele ai i ka hakakā me ka ʻaʻa ʻole o nā mākua. ʻO ia ka mea e hoʻi i ka wā e ʻike ai ʻoe i kāu pouting tot no ka mea ʻo ko lākou huli ʻana i ka piʻo i haʻalele ʻia ma ke kahua pāʻani. A ke hele mai kāu keiki ʻōpio iā ʻoe no ka ʻōlelo aʻo e pili ana i ka hakakā me nā hoaaloha, ʻo ia hoʻi ka hāʻawi ʻana i kēlā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo, akā ʻaʻole e pili hou.

I nā manawa hiki, e hoʻokuʻu iā lākou e hana i kēlā mau paio na lākou iho, no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻoe ma laila e swoop ke lilo lākou i poʻe mākua.

7. Paipai i ke aloha.

ʻOiaʻiʻo, koi ʻia nā keiki me nā kaikaina e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i nā pono o kekahi poʻe ma mua o ka onlies.

Akā aia kekahi mau ala ʻē aʻe e hoʻohālikelike ai i kāu keiki i kahi kanaka empathy, a hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i nā manawa kūpono no kēlā ʻike i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e kūkulu. Hana manawaleʻa ma kahi o ka ʻohana, e laʻa, a i ʻole kōkua i nā hoaaloha me kahi neʻe nui. E kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka hoʻopili, kuhikuhi i nā hiʻohiʻona o ke aloha ke ʻike ʻoe, a aniani i kēlā mau ʻano āu e makemake ai e aʻo mai kāu keiki.

8. E lilo i leo no ke kumu.

Mālama ʻo Onlies i nā mea pono, e ʻimi mau nei no ka ʻae.

I ka hapanui o nā hihia, e lilo paha lākou i nā loiloi ʻino loa iā lākou iho. He mea ia e makaʻala ai ke huhū ʻoe e pili ana i kahi papa maikaʻi a i ʻole kahi hana maikaʻi ʻole ma ke kahua. ʻAʻole ia he manaʻo ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻike i kāu kahamaha ponoʻī, no ka mea ʻoiaʻiʻo nō ʻoe. Akā he manaʻo ia no ka hoʻolohe ʻana i kāu keiki, a me ka hōʻoki pōkole ʻana i nā kamaʻilio pono ʻole ʻana.

Aia paha he mau manawa ke makemake lākou iā ʻoe e kūkulu hou iā lākou, ma mua o ke kau ʻana i ka hoka a lākou e manaʻo nei.

9. Mai kūʻai i ka hype.

Nui a hewahewa nā manaʻo kuhihewa e pili ana i nā hakakā o nā keiki wale nō, a me nā stereotypes he nui e ʻaʻohe makua o kahi makemake wale e manaʻoʻiʻo.

Akā aia like ka nui o ka noiʻi maikaʻi e noʻonoʻo ai. ʻIke ʻia ʻaʻole lākou mehameha e like me ka manaʻo o kēlā me kēia, no ka laʻana, a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kā lākou hana i ke kula ma mua o nā keiki me nā kaikaina.

No laila e hoʻāʻo e kiʻi ʻole i ka hopohopo i ka mea a haʻi e ʻōlelo ai e pili ana i kāu mea e lilo ai. Kū hoʻokahi a ʻokoʻa nā keiki, no ka nui o nā kaikaina i loaʻa a loaʻa ʻole paha iā lākou. A ʻaʻohe noiʻi hiki ke haʻi maopopo iā ʻoe i kekahi mea e pili ana i kāu lā i kekahi lā.