ʻO ka pilikia Midlife i nā wahine: Pehea e ʻike ai i kāu ʻili kala

Anter

• He kaʻao ka pilikia o ka midlife?
• No laila pehea ke ʻano o ka pilikia midlife i nā wahine?
• He aha ka mea e hoʻopilikia ai i nā wahine?
• He physiological hapa ia
• Hoʻohāʻau hapa ia
• A he kaiāulu hapa ia
• He aha kāu e hana ai e pili ana i ia?
• ʻO ka uhi kālā

Hoʻopili mākou i nā huahana a mākou e manaʻo nei he pono no kā mākou poʻe heluhelu. Inā kūʻai ʻoe ma o nā loulou i kēia ʻaoʻao, loaʻa iā mākou kahi kōmike liʻiliʻi. Eia kā mākou hana.

Me he mea lā ke nānā nei ʻoe i ka Wizard o Oz ma hope. I kekahi lā, hīmeni a hulahula nā mea āpau. ʻUla nā waihoʻoluʻu - nā kūlanakauhale emerala, nā pahee ruby, nā pōhaku melemele - a ʻo ka mea aʻe āu e ʻike ai, ʻeleʻele a keʻokeʻo nā mea a pau, mae wale e like me kahi māla palaoa o Kansas.

Ke loaʻa nei ʻoe i kahi pilikia midlife? Pehea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke haʻi inā he aha kāu e manaʻo nei, a i ʻole ʻaʻole ʻo ka manaʻo, he hopena o ke kaumaha, ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka menopause, a i ʻole kahi ʻāpana maʻamau o ka hoʻololi ʻana mai kahi pae o ke ola i kahi ʻē aʻe?

He kaʻao ka pilikia o ka midlife?

No kekahi mau manawa, ua hoʻopaʻapaʻa nā ʻoihana olakino noʻonoʻo inā he ʻoiaʻiʻo nā pilikia o ka midlife. ʻO ka huaʻōlelo "pōpilikia waena," ma hope o nā mea āpau, ʻaʻole ia he ʻike ʻike olakino noʻonoʻo. A ʻoiai hiki i ka hapa nui o ka poʻe ke haʻi iā ʻoe i ke ʻano o ka pilikia waena, ua ʻike ʻia kahi noiʻi loihi loa he 26 wale nō ka poʻe ʻAmelika i hōʻike i ka loaʻa ʻana o hoʻokahi.

He mea ʻole a mākou e kapa aku ai, ʻo ka lōʻihi o ka malaise a me ka nīnau ʻana ma waena o 40 a me 60 he aneane āpau ia i nā kāne ʻelua. Ua ʻike nā kānaka noiʻi no nā makahiki he nui i hiki i ka hauʻoli i kahi haʻahaʻa i waena o ke ola waena ma mua o ka rebound ʻana i ko mākou mau makahiki. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, nā palapala kiʻi U like ʻole i palapala ʻāina i nā piko a me nā awāwa o ka hōʻoluʻolu pilikino, me nā noiʻi hou e kuhikuhi ana i nā ʻokoʻa ma waena o nā kāne a me nā wahine.

No laila pehea ke ʻano o ka pilikia midlife i nā wahine?

Me he mea lā ke uē nei i ka home a pau mai ka haʻalele ʻana i kāu keiki paʻa i ke koleke. Me he mea lā e puka ana i waho ma kahi kāhea kūkā kamaʻilio no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻoe ʻike hou i ke kumu o kāu hana ʻana i kēia hana. Me he mea lā he kono kono hou i wili i loko o ka ʻōpala no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻoe i lilo i mea āu i manaʻo ai e lilo. E like me ke ala ʻana i waenakonu o ka pō, hoʻopili ʻia me ka hopohopo kālā. E like me ka hemo male. A luhi ka mālama ʻana. A kahi pūhaka āu e ʻike ʻole ai.

Ua wehewehe ʻia nā pilikia Midlife e like me nā loina o nā kāne: ua hoʻohoka a hoʻohoka ʻia nā wahine e nā hoʻololi pili a me nā kāne e nā loli ʻoihana. E like me ka nui o nā wahine e alualu i ka ʻoihana a lilo i kahu, ua hoʻonui ʻia ko lākou hopohopo waena. ʻO ke ʻano o ka pilikia midlife ma muli o ka wahine e ʻike nei.

He aha ka mea e hoʻopilikia ai i nā wahine?

E like me kā Nora Ephron i ʻōlelo ai, "ʻAʻole ʻoe e lilo iā ʻoe - paʻa, hiki ʻole ke loli iā ʻoe - no ka wā pau ʻole." Hoʻololi mākou āpau, a ʻo kahi pilikia waena ka hōʻike.

He physiological hapa ia

Ma ka perimenopause a me ka menopause, hiki ke hoʻololi a hāʻawi paha i nā pilikia i ka pilikia. Wahi a nā kauka Mayo Clinic, hiki i nā pae estrogen a me nā progesterone ke hoʻohaunaele i kou hiamoe, hoʻoneʻe i kou ʻano, a hoʻemi i kāu mau ikehu. Hiki i ka menopause ke kumu i ka nalo ʻana o ka hoʻomanaʻo, ka hopohopo, ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kaumaha, a me ka hoʻemi ʻana i ka hoihoi i nā mea āu e hauʻoli ai.

Hoʻohāʻau hapa ia

I kou hiki ʻana i ka makahiki waena, malia paha e ʻike ʻoe i kekahi ʻeha a i ʻole ka pohō. ʻO ka make ʻana o kahi lālā o ka ʻohana, kahi loli nui i kou ʻike, ka haʻalele male, ka hoʻomāinoino kino a me ka naʻau paha, nā ʻāpana o ka hoʻokae, ka nalowale o ka momona, ka maʻi pūnana ʻole, a me nā ʻike ʻē aʻe i waiho iā ʻoe me ke ʻano kaumaha mau. E ʻike paha ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e nīnau nei i kāu mau manaʻoʻiʻo loa a me kāu koho ʻoi loa.

A he kaiāulu hapa ia

ʻAʻole ʻoluʻolu pinepine kā mākou kaiāulu ʻōpio i nā wahine ʻelemākule. E like me nā wahine, ʻike paha ʻoe i ka ʻike ʻole ʻia ke hiki i ka makahiki waena. Manaʻo paha ʻoe i ke kaomi e pale i nā ʻōuli o ka neʻe ʻana o ka makahiki. Ke paʻakikī nei paha ʻoe i ka mālama ʻana i kāu poʻe keiki a me kou mau mākua ʻelemakule i ka manawa like. Ua koho paha ʻoe i nā koho paʻakikī e pili ana i ka ʻohana a me ka ʻoihana āu i makemake ʻole ai nā kāne o kou mau makahiki. A ʻo ka hemo a i ʻole ka hakahaka o ka uku he manaʻo nō paha ia iā ʻoe i ka hopohopo kālā maʻamau.

He aha kāu e hana ai e pili ana i ia?

I loko o "Ke aʻo e hele wāwae i ka pouli," nīnau ʻo Barbara Brown Taylor, "He aha inā hiki iaʻu ke ukali i kekahi o kaʻu mau makaʻu nui a hiki i ka lihi o ka hohonu, lawe i ka hanu, a hoʻomau i ka hele? ʻAʻole paha he manawa e kahaha ai i ka mea e hiki mai ana ma hope? " ʻO Midlife paha ka manawa kūpono kūpono loa e ʻike ai.

Inā pololei nā ʻepekema U-curve, hoʻoholo paha kāu malaise waena iā ʻoe iho i kou wā ʻelemakule. Akā inā ʻoe makemake e kīloi i ka nila ma kou mika mika ma mua o ka manawa, eia kekahi mau mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hana. E kamaʻilio me ke kauka. ʻO ka hapanui o nā ʻōuli o ka pilikia midlife e hoʻopili ʻia me ke kaumaha, nā maʻi hopohopo, a me nā kaulike ʻole hormonal. Inā ʻoe e ʻike nei i nā blues midlife, hiki i kāu kauka ke kuhikuhi i ka hoʻoliʻiliʻi hormone, antidepressants, a i ʻole nā ​​lāʻau anti-hopohopo e kōkua me kāu mau ʻōuli.

E kamaʻilio me kahi mea hoʻoponopono. Hiki ke kōkua i ka cognitive therapy, coaching life, a i ʻole ka group therapy iā ʻoe e hana ma waena o ke kaumaha, mālama i ka hopohopo, a hoʻolālā i kahi ala i ka hoʻokō piha.

E kamaʻilio me kāu mau hoaaloha. Hōʻike kahi hōʻike 2012 i ka mea a nā wahine e ʻike ai mai ka ʻike mua: ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o Midlife inā e hoʻopuni ʻia ʻoe e kahi pōʻai o nā hoaaloha. ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi o ka maikaʻi o ka maikaʻi o nā wahine me nā hoaaloha ma mua o ka poʻe ʻaʻole. ʻAʻole i loaʻa i nā lālā o ka ʻohana ka hopena koʻikoʻi.

Hoʻohui hou me ke kūlohelohe. Hōʻike nā noiʻi i ka hoʻolilo ʻana i ka manawa ma waho, ʻoiai no kekahi mau minuke i ka lā, hiki ke hāpai i kou ʻano a hoʻomaikaʻi i kou kuana. Noho ʻo ia ma kahakai,, a me ka hoʻoikaika kino waho e hakakā i ke kaumaha a me ka hopohopo.

E hoʻāʻo i nā hoʻoponopono home a me kaʻai olakino. Eia nā nūhou hou aʻe: Ua hōʻea ʻoe i ka makahiki ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻai hou i ka macaroni pahu a me ka tī. ʻAi i nā mea maikaʻi - nā lau lau, nā huaʻai, a me nā mea kanu i nā kala ānuenue āpau, nā protein protein. Hiki i kāu papaʻai ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ola lōʻihi a maikaʻi. Hiki ke kōkua iā Melatonin a me nā mea hoʻopiha magnesium iā ʻoe e hiamoe maikaʻi i ka pō, a hiki iā lākou ke kōkua i ka hōʻemi i ka hopohopo.

Kākau i nā mea āu i hoʻokō ai. ʻAʻole wale nā ​​mea nui e like me nā makana, nā kekele, a me nā poʻo inoa. E kākau i nā mea āpau: traumas ua ola ʻoe, nā poʻe āu i aloha ai, nā hoaaloha āu i hoʻopakele ai, nā wahi āu i huakaʻi ai, nā wahi āu i hāʻawi manawaleʻa ai, nā puke āu i heluhelu ai, nā mea kanu āu i mālama ʻole ai e pepehi. ʻAʻole kēia manawa hina i kāu moʻolelo holoʻokoʻa. E hoʻolōʻihi i ka manawa e hoʻohanohano i nā mea āpau āu i hana ai a ma mua.

E hana i nā ala i kahi wā hou e hiki mai ana. Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Novelist George Eliot, "ʻAʻole hiki i ka manawa ke lilo i ʻano like me ʻoe." E hana i kahi papa pūnaewele, e hana i kahi noiʻi no kahi puke, wehe i kahi kalaka meaʻai, a i ʻole kahi hoʻomaka. ʻAʻole paha ʻoe e hoʻokahuli i kou ʻohana a i kāu ʻoihana paha e hoʻololi i kāu mea hauʻoli.

Heluhelu. Heluhelu i nā puke e hoʻoulu ai ka manaʻo, hoʻoikaika, a i hoʻonāukiuki ai iā ʻoe e hoʻāʻo i kahi mea hou.

Eia kahi papa helu heluhelu midlife. ʻO kekahi o kēia mau puke e hoʻoikaika a hoʻoulu iā ʻoe. E kōkua kekahi iā ʻoe e kaumaha. Hoʻakaʻaka kekahi iā ʻoe.

• "Kaʻaʻa nui: Pehea ka wiwo ʻole e lilo ai i vulnerable e hoʻololi i ke ala a mākou e ola ai, aloha, makua, a alakaʻi" na Brené Brown.
• "Koho B: Ke kū i ke kūpilikiʻi, ke kūkulu ʻana i ke kūpaʻa, a me ka ʻimi ʻana i ka hauʻoli" na Sheryl Sandberg lāua ʻo Adam Grant.
• "He Badass ʻoe: pehea e hōʻoki ai i ka kānalua ʻana i kou nui a hoʻomaka e noho i kahi ola weliweli" na Jen Sincero.
• "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" na Elizabeth Gilbert.
• "Ke aʻo e hele wāwae i ka pouli" na Barbara Brown Taylor.
• "ʻIno maikaʻi wau e pili ana i kuʻu ʻāʻī: a me nā manaʻo ʻē aʻe e pili ana i ka wahine" na Nora Efron.
• "Shine On: Pehea e ulu ai i kahi weliweli ma kahi o ka wā kahiko" na Claire Cook

ʻO ka uhi kālā

ʻO "Midlife crisis" kahi inoa ʻē aʻe no ke kaumaha, ka luhi, a me ka hopohopo e hiki ai ke hoʻopili i ka poʻe no kahi wā lōʻihi ma waena o nā makahiki 40 a me 60. ʻO ke kumu paha he physiological, manaʻo, a i ʻole kaiāulu.

Inā ʻoe e ʻike nei i kahi mea e like me ka pilikia waena, hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i ke kōkua mai ke kauka, kauka, a i ʻole kekahi ma kāu pōʻai o kāu mau hoaaloha. ʻO ke olakino olakino, hoʻoikaika kino, ka manawa i hoʻohana ʻia i ke kūlohelohe, a me nā lāʻau kūlohelohe e kōkua paha i ka hōʻemi ʻana i kāu mau hōʻailona a hala kēia pae hoʻololi.

ʻAʻole hikiwawe ka wahine i ka malaise midlife, ʻaʻole wale no ka loli o ko mākou kino, akā no ka mea koi ke kaiāulu e lilo mākou i kahu, nā mea ʻai, a me nā aliʻi wahine nani i ka manawa hoʻokahi. A ua lawa kēlā e makemake ai kekahi e lawe i ka puahiohio mua ma waho o ke kaona.

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