He mea maʻamau ka haki ʻana i kāu mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa pilikino?

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Pane pōkole: ʻAe, aloha. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, i koʻu nīnau ʻana iā Rachel Sussman, kahi psychotherapist laikini a me ka mea hoʻoponopono pilina a me ka mea kākau o Ka Baibala Haka, e pili ana i kēia, ʻakaʻaka ʻo ia. "ʻAe, ke aloha nei koʻu kaikuahine i kāna mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa pilikino no nā makahiki," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia. "No laila, ua kō maoli nō!"

Sure, kou pilina me kahi mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa pilikino he ʻoihana. Akā pili pū kekahi, wahi a Sussman. "ʻO ʻolua i ka lole hoʻoikaika kino, hoʻopā ʻo ia iā ʻoe, ʻano maikaʻi paha ʻo ia ... eia kekahi, ke hana nei ʻoe, no laila ke kīpē nei kāu endorphins," helu ʻo ia. "Maopopo loa i ka hoʻomōhala ʻana i kahi puʻupuʻu liʻiliʻi." (Eia ke kumu e hana pū ai ʻoe me kāu S.O.)

ʻAʻole wale ia ka pili kino e hoʻonāukiuki paha i nā manaʻo. "ʻIke pinepine nā mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa iā ʻoe i kou mea nāwaliwali loa, a ʻo kā lākou hana ia e hōʻoia ai iā ʻoe a paipai iā ʻoe. Hiki i kēlā mea ke manaʻo maikaʻi," i ʻōlelo ʻia ʻo Gloria Petruzzelli, he loiloi psychologist haʻuki laikini laikini ma Sacramento, CA.

Hiki i kahi ʻoki liʻiliʻi ke makaʻu ʻole a hoʻonāukiuki paha iā ʻoe e hoʻomau i kāu mau papa hana. Akā ʻae ʻo Sussman lāua ʻo Petruzzelli e loaʻa nā palena olakino i ka pilina o ka mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa. Ma ka liʻiliʻi loa, wahi a Sussman, inā like ka ʻumeʻume kekahi, pono ʻoe e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ke ʻano o ka manaʻo, nā mea āu e makemake ai, a pehea e pono ai e loli kāu pilina ʻoihana. (E hahai i kēia mau mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa kaulana ma Instagram.)

Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Petruzzelli i kona manaʻo, ʻaʻole pono ka mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa e pili ana i kahi mea kūʻai aku. "Aia he mana ʻokoʻa i kēlā pilina-ʻoi aku ka mana o ka mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia. ʻO kahi mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa nāna e neʻe me ke kūkākūkā ʻole ʻana ma mua, a i ʻole e ʻōlelo ʻana e loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa hou, pono e hāpai i kahi hae ʻulaʻula.

Akā inā ʻoe ma ke ʻano maʻamau o ka hāʻule no kēlā me kēia kumu aʻoaʻo āu e launa ai, hiki iā ʻoe ke maʻalahi. Hana ʻia ia, a maikaʻi. Inā maʻalahi kahi ʻeono ʻeke e paʻa.

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