No ke aha wau e hoʻopunipuni ai 'Normal' - a me nā wahine ʻē aʻe me Autism e hana pū kekahi

Anter

• ʻO kaʻu neurodivergence kahi ʻāpana o wau nei - ʻaʻole kīnā hemahema
• Pehea wau e hoʻopili ai i kaʻu autism e komo i loko
• ʻO nā kumukūʻai no ka hoʻokamani ʻana i ka lehulehu

Eia kahi hiʻohiʻona i loko o kaʻu neurodivergent - ʻaʻole kīnā - lolo.

ʻAʻole wau e heluhelu nui e pili ana i ka autism. ʻAʻole hou.

I ka manawa aʻu i ʻike mua ai he maʻi koʻu na Asperger a "ma ka laulaha," e like me ka makemake o ka poʻe e ʻōlelo, ua heluhelu wau i kekahi mea i hiki iaʻu ke kau i koʻu mau lima. Ua komo pū wau i kahi hui "kākoʻo" pūnaewele no ka poʻe me ka autism.

ʻOiai ʻike wau i kekahi o nā ʻano a me nā pilikia i wehewehe ʻia i loko o nā ʻatikala, nā puke pai, a me ka hui kaiaulu o ka hui kākoʻo, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke ʻike piha iaʻu iho i kekahi o ia mau mea.

ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke kaha i nā pahu āpau e wahī i koʻu ʻano i loko o kahi pūʻulu hoʻomaʻemaʻe me kahi lepili hōʻailona e heluhelu ana, "Fragile, lawelawe me ka mālama." I koʻu hiki ke haʻi aku mai kaʻu mea e heluhelu nei, ʻaʻole wau i like iki me ka poʻe autistic ʻē aʻe i ka honua.

ʻAʻole wau i kūpono i nā wahi āpau. A i ʻole manaʻo wau.

ʻO kaʻu neurodivergence kahi ʻāpana o wau nei - ʻaʻole kīnā hemahema

Makemake pinepine ka poʻe e kapa i ka autism kahi maʻi, kahi kīnā, a i ʻole he maʻi paha.

Ua heluhelu wau i kekahi mea e kahi anti-vaxxer, e ʻōlelo ana hiki i nā lāʻau lapaʻau ke kumu i ka autism (ʻaʻole ʻoiaʻiʻo) a laila, hiki ke pale i kāu keiki mai ka lilo ʻana i mea āpau.

ʻO kahi huli hoihoi o ka ʻōlelo, nā mea āpau i hiki iā lākou ke lilo. Me he mea lā e pale ana ka autistic iā ʻoe mai ka piha - a iā ʻoe iho paha.

ʻO Neurodivergence, a autism paha, ʻaʻole ia he mea kaʻawale mai aʻu nei. ʻO ia wale nō kekahi o nā mea e hana ai iaʻu iho.

Piha a piha wau - me kaʻu neurodivergence - ʻaʻole naʻe ia. Manaʻo maoli wau inā ʻaʻole ia, ʻaʻole wau e lilo loa iaʻu.

ʻO ka maʻamau, ʻaʻole manaʻo ka poʻe aia wau i ka spectrum i nā mea āpau, ʻo ka mea nui no ka mea ʻaʻole ia e nānā i ke ʻano a lākou e manaʻo ai.

Hoʻohui, maikaʻi loa wau i ka hoʻololi ʻana i kaʻu hana e mimic i nā ʻano nohona kuʻuna - ʻoiai ke ʻano ʻē iaʻu a i ʻole kūʻē i ka mea aʻu e kūʻiʻo nei. makemake hana a ʻōlelo paha. Nui nā poʻe autistic.

Nani kēlā me kēia mea aʻu e hana nei inā i ka lehulehu no laila ʻaʻole manaʻo kekahi he ʻano ʻē wau. E hoʻololi mau paha wau i kaʻu hana, no ka mea, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka manawa. No ka mea inā ʻaʻole wau, ʻaʻole paha wau ka ʻoihana a i ʻole ke ola i loaʻa iaʻu i kēia manawa.

Ua ʻike ʻia kahi noi ma 2016 ua akamai loa nā wahine i kēia. ʻO ia paha kekahi o nā kumu e loaʻa ai nā diagnoses o ka autism a i ʻole loaʻa i kahi hōʻailona ma hope o ke ola.

ʻAʻole wau i manaʻo nui i kekahi o nā mea aʻu e hana ai i ka wā i waena o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i hiki ke noʻonoʻo ʻia he camouflaging. Akā, ʻoiai e heluhelu ana i kēlā noi ʻana i ka camouflaging, ua ʻike wau ua ʻōlelo ʻia i kekahi mau mea liʻiliʻi aʻu e hana nei i ka lehulehu e ʻikea e like me nā mea ʻē aʻe.

Pehea wau e hoʻopili ai i kaʻu autism e komo i loko

He paʻakikī nā kānaka neurodivergent i ka nānā ʻana i nā maka. ʻO kahi ala maikaʻi loa e camouflage i kēia - a me kahi mea aʻu e hana pinepine ai - e nānā ma waena o nā maka o kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe. ʻO ka maʻamau, ʻaʻole lākou e ʻike i kēia neʻe iki o ka maka. ʻIke ʻia nā mea āpau he "maʻamau" iā lākou.

Ke hōʻoluʻolu ʻole wau i kahi ʻano kaiaulu ma muli o ka nui o ka walaʻau a me nā mea hoʻonāukiuki ʻē aʻe, ʻo koʻu makemake e pakele a hoʻi hope paha i hope (a, i ʻike ʻia e nā poʻe ʻē, ʻoʻoleʻa) i kahi kihi maluhia a mālie hoʻi.

Akā e hōʻalo ʻole i ka hana ʻana i kēia, paʻa paʻa wau i koʻu mau lima i mua oʻu - paʻa loa. Pākuʻi wau i nā manamana lima o kekahi lima me kekahi, i ka mea ʻeha. A laila hiki iaʻu ke kau i ka ʻeha a kāpae i ka ʻiʻini e holo aku, i ʻike ʻia ma ke ʻano kolohe.

Nui nā poʻe neurodivergent i loaʻa i nā kikiki liʻiliʻi, kekahi hana liʻiliʻi a lākou e hana pinepine ai. Ke hopohopo wau, wili wau i koʻu lauoho, mau me koʻu lima ʻākau ma waena o koʻu manamana ʻelua a ʻekolu. Loaʻa mau iaʻu. ʻO ka hapanui ke komo wau i koʻu lauoho i ka lōʻihi o ka ponytail, no laila ke wili nei wau i ka hunk holoʻokoʻa.

Inā hoʻomaka ka wili e puka i waho o ka lima (ke nānā nei ka poʻe), ʻūlū wau i koʻu lauoho i ka popo me kuʻu lima a paʻa ma laila, ʻāwīwī nui ʻana i mea ʻeha iki.

I mea e maikaʻi ai i ka pane ʻana i ke ala a ka poʻe e manaʻo ai, hoʻomaʻamaʻa wau i ke kamaʻilio ʻana ma ka home. Hoʻomaʻamaʻa hou wau i ka ʻaka a kunou ʻana a ʻōlelo i nā mea e like me, "E kuʻu akua, ʻoiaʻiʻo?!" a "Aʻole, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hana!"

ʻIke mau wau i kahi ʻano ʻē iki i kēlā me kēia manawa ke ʻōwili wau i kahi kaula lōʻihi o nā ʻano hana coping, kekahi ma hope o kekahi. Loaʻa wau i kēia ʻano ʻano ʻē ma waho iaʻu iho a ke nānā nei iaʻu iho e hana ana iā lākou. Makemake wau e hawanawana i koʻu pepeiao ponoʻī, e haʻi iaʻu iho i ka mea e ʻōlelo aku ai i ka pane ʻana i kekahi, akā ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hoʻokokoke loa.

ʻO nā kumukūʻai no ka hoʻokamani ʻana i ka lehulehu

Ua loaʻa i nā kānaka noiʻi mai kēlā noiʻi 2016 ka hele pinepine ʻana o kēia camouflaging āpau me nā kumukūʻai, e like me ka luhi, hoʻonui i ke kaumaha, nā hoʻoheheʻe ʻia ma muli o ka nui o ka nohona, ka hopohopo, kaumaha, a me "kahi hopena maikaʻi ʻole i ka hoʻomohala ʻana i kāu ʻike."

ʻIke wau i ka ʻāpana hope loa. Manaʻo wau ʻo nā "koina" ʻē aʻe āpau e heluhelu like me kēlā mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo i helu ʻia ma nā lāʻau hou a kupaianaha āu e ʻike ai e hoʻolaha ʻia ma ke kīwī (hoʻēmi i ka hoʻokele wahine hoʻēmi.

ʻAʻole wau i noʻonoʻo i ka hopena maikaʻi ʻole o kaʻu camouflaging āpau i koʻu ulu ʻana i kahi ʻike, akā ʻike wau ʻo ka hapa nui o kaʻu puke pai ʻōpio i pepa ʻia me ka huaʻōlelo, "ʻO nā mea aʻu e makemake ai he mea maoli."

ʻAʻole wau i noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ke kumu o ka hoʻohana pinepine ʻana i ka huaʻōlelo. Akā ke nānā nei i hope, manaʻo wau ʻo kaʻu ala wale nō ia e hele ai i ka ʻōlelo me kēlā ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole wau e like me kekahi o kaʻu mau hoaaloha. No kekahi manawa lōʻihi, manaʻo wau he ʻoiaʻiʻo lākou, ʻoi aku ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ma mua oʻu.

ʻIke nā ʻepekema i kēia manawa ke manaʻo maoli nei kekahi poʻe autistic hou aku manaʻo ma mua o ka poʻe maʻamau. ʻO mākou, ma nā ʻano he nui, ʻoi aku ka laulā me nā nuances a i luna a me lalo o nā psyches o ka poʻe e puni iā ​​mākou.

Manaʻo wau he ʻoiaʻiʻo kēlā. ʻO kekahi o koʻu mau mākau ka hiki ke ʻike i nā mea mai nā hiʻohiʻona he nui. Hiki iaʻu ke hele i waho iaʻu iho a ʻike i kahi e hele mai ai kahi kanaka ʻē aʻe. A hiki iaʻu ke hoʻomaopopo i ka mea a lākou e manaʻo nei.

No laila, ʻae, ua maikaʻi wau me ka hoʻololi ʻana i kaʻu hana e mālama ai iā lākou mai hōʻoluʻolu ʻole. Inā ʻoluʻolu lākou, ʻike wau i kēlā, a laila ʻoluʻolu mākou ʻelua.

Pono wau e akahele, ʻoiai, ʻo nā manaʻo āpau i kekahi manawa ke loli.

Akā ʻike wau i ka hoʻokele ʻana. Hiki ke luhi ka camouflaging i kekahi manawa akā, ma ke ʻano he introvert, ke pili wale nei i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe no nā manawa lōʻihi me ka hoʻomaha ʻole hiki ke luhi.

ʻAʻole wau e hoʻokaʻawale i kaʻu camouflaging mai kaʻu launa ʻana. He mea pūʻolo lākou, naʻu, he neurodivergent introvert, koi i nā manawa copious o ka manawa hoʻokahi e hoʻopiha hou ma hope.

ʻAʻole ia he manaʻo aia kekahi mea hewa iaʻu.

ʻO ka huaʻōlelo e hoʻowahāwahā loa ʻia e pili ana i ka autism ua "ʻino."

ʻAʻole au i manaʻo ua hōʻino ʻia ka poʻe autistic. Manaʻo wale wau ʻike ʻokoʻa lākou i ka honua ma mua o ka poʻe autistic. ʻO ka manaʻo ʻino ʻole ʻaʻole hewa mākou.

Ma kēlā memo, ʻo kekahi o nā mea maikaʻi e pili ana i ke neurodivergent ʻo ia ka mea hiki iaʻu ke ʻike pinepine i kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe - ʻoiai kekahi e camouflaging like ʻana a me ka huhū e like me aʻu iho.

ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu he aha nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo iaʻu a i ʻole iā lākou: malia paha kā lākou kīʻī ʻana i kekahi mea, kahi lūlū, kahi lima paʻa pono ʻole ʻia. Akā ke hiki, aia mau kēia manawa nani ke maopopo iaʻu ʻike lākou iaʻu, a ʻike wau iā lākou. A nānā mākou i nā maka o kekahi (ʻae, maoli) a noʻonoʻo, "ʻAe. Ike wau iā' oe."

ʻO Vanessa kahi mea kākau a me ka hoʻokele kaʻa i hoʻokumu ʻia ma New York City. I kona mau manawa manawaleʻa, hana ʻo ia ma ke ʻano he mea hoʻoponopono a hana kumu no ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni a me ke kīwī.