Ehia mau manawa e loaʻa ai ka moekolohe o nā kāne 'maʻamau'?

Anter

• Ka awelika
• He pilikia paha kāu male?
• Pehea e lōkahi ai i kāu mau kaʻi wahine

I kekahi manawa o ke ola, haʻohaʻo nā kāne he nui a nīnau iā lākou iho, "He aha ka awelika o ka moekolohe a nā kāne ʻē aʻe?" A ʻoiai ʻaʻole maopopo leʻa ka pane, ua ʻōlelo nā mea hoʻoponopono wahine i nā mea he nui e pili ana i kēia kumuhana. Eia kā lākou e ʻōlelo ai, a me kekahi ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ʻē aʻe e kōkua iā ʻoe e loaʻa i kou ola moekolohe ma ke ala.

Ka awelika

Aia kekahi nīnau i waena o nā mea hoʻoponopono kāne e pili ana i ke ʻano o ka awelika maoli no nā kāne a me ka pilina paʻa. Hiki ke pane i nā pane mai hoʻokahi manawa i ka pule a i hoʻokahi manawa i ka mahina. I ka nīnau ʻana iā Ian Kerner, PhD, pehea ʻo ia i pane ai i nā kāne i nīnau iā ia i ka manawa pinepine e moekolohe ai lākou, ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia, "Ua pane mau wau ʻaʻohe pane kūpono.

Ke pau ka moekolohe ʻana o kā lāua mau kāne, lilo ko lāua mau pilina i mea nawaliwali i ka huhū, hoʻokaʻawale, hoʻomaloka a i ka hopena, hemo male.

Ma hope o nā mea āpau, hoʻopili ʻia ka nohona wahine o kekahi mau kāne e nā ʻano like ʻole: ka makahiki, ka nohona, ke olakino o kēlā me kēia hoa a me ka libido kūlohelohe a, ʻoiaʻiʻo, ke ʻano o ko lāua pilina laulā, e inoa wale i kekahi.

No laila ʻaʻole paha he pane kūpono i ka nīnau no ka pinepine o ka moekolohe ʻana o nā kāne, i kēia mau lā ua ʻemi wau i ka equivocal a ʻōlelo i nā kāne e hoʻāʻo e hana ma ka liʻiliʻi i hoʻokahi manawa i ka pule. " Wahi a David Schnarch, PhD, ma o ke aʻo ʻana i mālama ʻia me nā kāne a ʻoi aku ma mua o 20,000, ua ʻike ʻo ia he 26% wale nō o nā kāne e kuʻi nei i ka māka o hoʻokahi pule, me ka hapa nui o nā mea pane e hōʻike ana i ka moekolohe hoʻokahi wale nō a ʻelua paha manawa o ka mahina. a ʻoi aku paha!

Eia nō naʻe, ua hoʻopaʻa ʻia kahi noiʻi ʻē aʻe, i paʻi ʻia ma Ke Kulanui o Chicago Press ma kahi o 10 mau makahiki i hala aku nei, ke moe kolohe nei nā kāne male ma kahi o ʻehiku manawa o ka mahina, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi ma mua o ʻelua manawa o ka pule. A i ke kolu o ka noiʻi ʻana, ua hōʻike ʻia mai ka 16,000 mau mākua i nīnauele ʻia, ke moe kolohe nei nā mea i komo ma mua ma kahi o 2 a 3 mau manawa i kēlā me kēia mahina, ʻoiai nā ʻōpio i hōʻike e moekolohe lākou ma kahi o hoʻokahi manawa i ka pule.

He pilikia paha kāu male?

ʻO ka hapa nui o nā mea hoʻoponopono wahine e ʻae i ka moekolohe ʻana ma lalo o 10 mau manawa i ka makahiki ke kumu e lawa ai ka lepili ʻana i kāu male male ʻole. Eia naʻe, ʻo ka nele i ka moekolohe ʻaʻole ia he pilikia no ka male o kāu male, e like me kā Schnarch. ʻOiai ʻo ke ʻano ke ala maʻamau a nā kāne e hōʻike ai i ko lākou aloha a me ko lākou makemake kekahi i kekahi, ʻo ka nele i ka moekolohe ʻaʻole ia he kumu no ke oki ʻana, akā he mea ia e loaʻa ai kahi lima. ʻ sayslelo ʻo Kauka Kerner, "Me he mea lā e hāʻule wikiwiki ana ka moekolohe i lalo o ka papa inoa o kā Amerika hana; akā, i koʻu ʻike, ke pau nā moe kolohe a nā kāne a lilo ko lākou mau pilina i mea maʻalahi i ka huhū, hoʻokaʻawale, hoʻomaloka a, ʻo ka hopena, hemo male. Manaʻo wau he mea nui ka moekolohe: ʻO ka glue ia e hoʻopaʻa mau ai iā mākou a, me ka ʻole o ia mea, lilo nā kāne i 'hoa maikaʻi' ma ka maikaʻi, a i ʻole nā ​​'hoa noho hoa' ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.

Pehea e lōkahi ai i kāu mau kaʻi wahine

Nui nā kumu i pono e hāʻule i kahi e hana ai i ka moekolohe i kahi mea āu e makemake ai. I nā kāne he nui, he pilikia ʻokoʻa ka manaʻo. 'Alleloʻo Al Cooper, mai ka San Jose Marital and Sexuality Center, "Ma ka hapanui, eia naʻe, pinepine ka liʻiliʻi o nā pilikia o ka wahine e pili ana i ka moekolohe, ma mua o ka hele ʻana i ka moekolohe.

"Inā pili ʻole kāu moe kime, ʻo kou pahuhopu ke hui i waenakonu, ke moe kolohe ma mua o hoʻokahi a nā hoa e makemake ai, akā ʻoi aku paha ka liʻiliʻi ma mua o nā makemake ʻē aʻe." - Kauka Gail Saltz

ʻAʻohe makemake o ka kāne no ka moekolohe ma nā laina manawa i hāʻawi ʻia. ʻO ke kī i ke kūkākūkā maikaʻi ʻana o kekahi mau manawa i ka manawa e hoʻomaka ai kekahi a hōʻole kekahi. " E like me kēlā me kēia pilikia i ka pilina, ka moekolohe a me ke alapine āu e loaʻa ai.

Me he mea lā he mauna nui e piʻi, ke noʻonoʻo ʻoe i nā mea āpau āpau āu e hana ai i kēlā me kēia lā. ʻO ka holoi lole, ka hana, ke kuke ʻana i nā meaʻai, ka hoʻomaʻemaʻe ʻana, a me nā hana ʻē aʻe i ʻike pinepine ʻia he mea nui ma mua o kahi wikiwiki me kāu hoa; akā hiki i ka moekolohe ke lilo i mea leʻaleʻa. 'Kleloʻo Kerner, "Ke ho'ōki mākou i ka hana, maʻalahi ka paʻaʻana i kahi paheʻe; akā ke hoʻi hou mākou i ke ala, hoʻomanaʻo mākou i ka nui o kā mākou hala ʻana. ʻO ka huaʻōlelo kahiko 'hoʻohana ia a nalowale iā ia' he ʻoiaʻiʻo kekahi. Pēlā nō kaʻu manaʻo, 'hoʻāʻo, makemake ʻoe.' "

I ka mua, pili paha ia i ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i ka moekolohe a me ka hana ʻana i ka manawa e alakaʻi ai i ka moekolohe. Hoʻopili i kēlā me kēia lā i kēlā me kēia lā, hoʻoikaika e hoʻonui i kāu pae testosterone, a hoʻopau i nā mea hoʻohuli, e like me ka kamepiula a me ke kīwī. Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe nā pilikia me ka hiki ke komo i ka pilina, ke ʻike nei i ka mea hoʻoponopono moekolohe hiki ke kōkua maoli iā ʻoe a me kāu hoa pae i ka ʻaoʻao like.