Pehea wau i aʻo ai i kaʻu kaikamahine kamaliʻi e kū i luna i nā mea kolohe

Anter

• He pilikia kā mākou ma aneʻi
• Pehea ka ʻōpiopio o nā keiki no ka hoʻomaopopo ʻole o nā keiki i ka hoʻomāʻewaʻewa?
• No ke aha wau e aʻo nei i kaʻu kaikamahine e hoʻopau koke i nā mea hoʻomāinoino
• Nā hopena: Ku wale kaʻu kaikamahine ʻōpio kamaliʻi i kahi kolohe!
• No laila, no ke aha he mea nui kēia?

I ka hōʻea ʻana i ke kahua pāʻani ma kahi lā nani o ke kauwela i hala, ua ʻike koke kaʻu kaikamahine i kahi keikikāne mai ke kaiāulu āna i pāʻani pinepine ai. Ua hauʻoli ʻo ia ma laila ʻo ia i hiki iā lākou ke leʻaleʻa pū i ka paka.

I ko mākou hoʻokokoke ʻana i ke keiki a me kona makuahine, ua ʻike koke mākou e uē ana ʻo ia. ʻO kaʻu kaikamahine, ʻo ia ka mea hānai nāna, ua ulu nui ka hopohopo. Ua hoʻomaka ʻo ia e nīnau iā ia no ke aha ʻo ia i huhū ai. ʻAʻole pane ke keiki liʻiliʻi.

I koʻu wā e nīnau ana i ka mea i hewa, hele maila kekahi keiki ʻē aʻe a walaʻau mai, "Ua kuʻi wau iā ʻoe no ka mea he hūpō a maikaʻi ʻole ʻoe."

ʻIke ʻoe, ua hānau ʻia ke keiki liʻiliʻi e uē ana me ka ulu ʻana ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻākau o kona alo. Ua kamaʻilio wau a me kaʻu kaikamahine e pili ana i kēia ma mua i ke kauwela a koʻikoʻi wau i ka haʻi ʻana iā ia ʻaʻole mākou he mea ʻino i ka poʻe no ka mea ke nānā aku a hana ʻokoʻa paha lākou ma mua o mākou. Hoʻokomo pinepine ʻo ia iā ia i ka pāʻani ʻana i ke kauwela holoʻokoʻa ma hope o kā mākou kamaʻilio ʻana me ka ʻole o ka mahalo i nā mea āpau e like me kāna.

Ma hope o kēia hālāwai maikaʻi ʻole, ua haʻalele ka makuahine a me kāna keiki. Hāʻawi kuʻu kaikamahine iā ia i kahi ʻapo wikiwiki a ʻōlelo iā ia ʻaʻole e uē. Ua pumehana koʻu puʻuwai e ʻike i kahi ʻano momona.

Akā e like me kāu e noʻonoʻo ai, ʻo ka hōʻike ʻana i kēia hālāwai i hāpai i nā nīnau he nui i ka manaʻo o kaʻu kaikamahine.

He pilikia kā mākou ma aneʻi

ʻAʻole i liʻuliʻu ma hope o ka haʻalele ʻana o ke keikikāne, ua nīnau ʻo ia iaʻu no ke aha ka mommy a ke keiki kāne ʻē aʻe e ʻae ai e hōʻino. Ua ʻike ʻo ia ʻo ka ʻaoʻao ʻokoʻa ia o ka mea aʻu i haʻi aku ai iā ia ma mua. ʻO kēia ka manawa aʻu i ʻike ai he pono wau e aʻo iā ia e holo ʻole mai nā mea hoʻomake. ʻO kaʻu hana ia e like me kona makuahine e aʻo iā ia pehea e pani ai i nā mea kolohe i mea ʻole ʻo ia i kahi kūlana kahi e hoʻopau ʻia ai kona hilinaʻi e nā hana a haʻi.

ʻOiai ke kū pololei nei kēia kūlana, ʻaʻole i ulu mau ka noʻonoʻo o kahi preschooler e ʻike ai i ka wā e waiho haʻahaʻa ai kekahi iā lākou a maikaʻi ʻole paha.

Ma ke ʻano he makua, i kekahi manawa hiki iā mākou ke manaʻo hemo loa mai kā mākou wā kamaliʻi paʻakikī e hoʻomanaʻo he aha ke ʻano o ka hoʻomāinoino ʻia. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, poina iaʻu hiki i ka hana hoʻomāinoino ke hana i ka wā o ke kula kamaliʻi a hiki i koʻu ʻike ʻana i kēlā hanana maikaʻi ʻole ma ke kahua pāʻani ma ke kauwela.

ʻAʻole i kamaʻilio ʻia ʻo Bullying i koʻu wā kamaliʻi. ʻAʻole wau i aʻo ʻia pehea e ʻike ai a i ʻole hoʻopau koke ai i kahi kolohe. Ua makemake wau e hana maikaʻi e kaʻu kaikamahine.

Pehea ka ʻōpiopio o nā keiki no ka hoʻomaopopo ʻole o nā keiki i ka hoʻomāʻewaʻewa?

I kekahi lā ʻē aʻe, ua nānā au i kaʻu kaikamahine e hoʻopiʻi ʻia e kahi kaikamahine liʻiliʻi i kāna papa no ka makemake i kekahi hoa ʻē aʻe.

Ua haki koʻu puʻuwai i ka ʻike ʻana aku, akā ʻaʻohe manaʻo o kaʻu kaikamahine. Ua hoʻomau ʻo ia e hoʻāʻo a hui pū me ka leʻaleʻa. ʻOiai ʻaʻole ia he hoʻomāinoino, ua hoʻomanaʻo mai ia iaʻu ʻaʻole hiki i nā keiki ke kuhi ke hele a maikaʻi ʻole a maikaʻi ʻole paha kekahi iā lākou i nā hanana liʻiliʻi.

Ma hope i kēlā pō, ua hānai kaʻu kaikamahine i ka mea i hana ʻia a haʻi mai iaʻu ua manaʻo ʻo ia ʻaʻole maikaʻi ke kaikamahine, e like me ka maikaʻi ʻole o ke keikikāne i ka pāka. Malia paha ua lawe ʻo ia i kahi manawa e hana i ka mea i hana ʻia, a i ʻole loaʻa iā ia nā huaʻōlelo e haʻi aku ai i ka manawa ua ʻeha kona mau manaʻo.

No ke aha wau e aʻo nei i kaʻu kaikamahine e hoʻopau koke i nā mea hoʻomāinoino

Ma hope o kēia mau hanana ʻelua, ua kūkākūkā mākou e pili ana i ke kū ʻana i luna nāu iho, akā maikaʻi naʻe i ka hana. ʻOiaʻiʻo, pono wau e kau ia i nā huaʻōlelo kamaliʻi. Ua haʻi wau iā ia inā ʻaʻole maikaʻi kekahi a ua kaumaha ia no laila pono ʻo ia e haʻi iā lākou. Ua hoʻokūpaʻa wau ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia ke hoʻi i hope. Ua hoʻohālikelike wau iā ia i kona huhū ʻana a ʻuā mai iaʻu (e ʻoiaʻiʻo, e huhū kēlā me kēia keiki i ko lākou mau mākua). Ua noi wau iā ia inā makemake ʻo ia iā ia inā ʻuā hou wau iā ia. Ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia, "ʻAʻole Mama, ʻeha kēlā i koʻu mau manaʻo."

I kēia makahiki, makemake wau e aʻo iā ia e lawe i ka ʻoi o nā keiki ʻē aʻe. Makemake wau iā ia e kū nona iho a haʻi iā lākou ʻaʻole maikaʻi ka hana kaumaha iā ia. Ke aʻo nei e ʻike i ka wā e hōʻeha ai kekahi mea i kēia manawa a kū i luna nona iho e kūkulu i kahi kahua paʻa no ka pehea e lawelawe ai i ka hoʻomāinoino nui ʻana i kona wā ʻelemakule.

Nā hopena: Ku wale kaʻu kaikamahine ʻōpio kamaliʻi i kahi kolohe!

ʻAʻole i liʻuliʻu ma hope o kā mākou kūkākūkā ʻana ʻaʻole maikaʻi no nā keiki ʻē aʻe e hōʻehaʻeha iā ia, ua ʻike wau i kaʻu kaikamahine i haʻi aku i kahi kaikamahine ma ke kahua pāʻani ʻaʻole maikaʻi ka pahu ʻana iā ia i lalo. Ua nānā pono ʻo ia iā ia i ka maka, ʻoiai wau e aʻo iā ia e hana, a ʻōlelo: "E ʻoluʻolu mai kaomi iaʻu, ʻaʻole maikaʻi!"

Ua hoʻomaikaʻi koke ʻia ke kūlana. Ua hele au mai ka nānā ʻana i kēia kaikamahine ʻē aʻe i ka lima kiʻekiʻe a nānā ʻole i kaʻu kaikamahine e hoʻopili iā ia i ka pāʻani huna-a-ʻimi āna e pāʻani nei. Pāhū nā kaikamahine ʻelua!

No laila, no ke aha he mea nui kēia?

Manaʻo paʻa wau e aʻo mākou i ka poʻe pehea e mālama ai iā mākou. Manaʻoʻiʻo wau he alanui ʻelua ʻelua ka hana hoʻomāinoino. ʻOiai ʻaʻole mākou makemake e noʻonoʻo i kā mākou keiki e like me nā mea kolohe, ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, hiki mai ia. ʻO kā mākou kuleana ma ke ʻano he makua e aʻo i kā mākou poʻe keiki pehea e mālama ai i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. E like me kaʻu i haʻi aku ai i kaʻu kaikamahine e kū nona iho a e hōʻike i ke keiki ʻē aʻe i ka wā a lākou i kaumaha ai iā ia, he mea nui ia ʻaʻole ʻo ia ka mea e kaumaha ai ke keiki ʻē aʻe. ʻO kēia ke kumu i nīnau ai wau iā ia pehea e ʻike ai inā e ʻuā hou wau iā ia. Inā kaumaha kekahi mea iā ia, a laila ʻaʻole pono iā ia e hana iā haʻi.

Hoʻohālike nā keiki i ka hana a lākou e ʻike ai ma ka home. Ma ke ʻano he wahine, inā ʻae wau iaʻu e hoʻomāinoino ʻia e kaʻu kāne, ʻo ia ke kumu hoʻohālikelike aʻu e kau nei no kaʻu kaikamahine. Inā ʻuā mau wau i kaʻu kāne, a laila ke hōʻike aku nei nō hoʻi wau iā ia he maikaʻi ke kolohe a hoʻomāinoino i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Hoʻomaka ia me mākou nā mākua. E wehe i kahi kamaʻilio i loko o kou home me kāu poʻe keiki e pili ana i ka mea a ʻaʻohe kūpono e ʻae ʻia e hōʻike a ʻae mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. E hoʻomaopopo i ka mea nui e hoʻonohonoho i ka laʻana ma ka home āu e makemake ai i kāu poʻe keiki e hoʻohālikelike i ka honua.

He makuahine hana ʻo Monica Froese e noho nei ma Buffalo, Nu Ioka, me kāna kāne a me kāna kaikamahine 3 makahiki. Ua loaʻa iā ia kāna MBA ma 2010 a he alakaʻi alakaʻi ʻo ia i kēia manawa. Kuhi blog ʻo ia ma Redefining Mom, kahi e nānā ai i ka hoʻoikaika ʻana i nā wahine ʻē aʻe e hoʻi i ka hana ma hope o ka hānau ʻana o nā keiki. Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa iā ia ma Twitter a me Instagram kahi e puʻunaue ai i nā mea hoihoi e pili ana i ka lilo ʻana i makuahine hana a ma Facebook a me Pinterest kahi i mahele ai ʻo ia i kāna kumuwaiwai maikaʻi loa no ka mālama ʻana i ke ola o ka hana a ka makuahine