22 mau mea i kūpono i nā wahine ma mua o 30 mau makahiki

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Ke hele ʻoe i waho i ka hola 5, ʻoi aku paha ka hele ʻana i kahi heihei ma mua o ka hina ʻana i ka home mai kahi pā. Ma hope o nā mahina o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana, poina iā ʻoe i ka pāʻina ʻana o ka poʻe a hiki i ke alaula. A ʻaʻole, Miss Crop-Top-and-Hot-Pants, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke lawe i kēia kaʻa. He marathon kaʻu e hiki ai.

Hana ʻia kāu pō Pōʻalima ma kahi papa milo DJ live. No ka mea hiki ʻole ke ʻae ʻia nā hui, a inā ʻoe e uhaʻi i ka wela i nā pā EDM, e hōʻoia ʻoe e helu ʻia ʻo ia he kau cardio maoli.

Holoi lima maoli ʻoe i kou mau lole hoʻoikaika kino. He kūpono loa ka hoʻolilo ʻana i $150 i kahi lole āu e hoʻoluhi ai i ka hale haʻuki inā mau ia no ke ola, ʻaʻole, e hana i kēlā ETERNITY.

ʻO kāu top Lululemon seksi hou a pāpālua hoʻi ma ke ʻano he ʻāpana o kou ʻaʻahu o ka lā pō. Eʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku ka kūpono o kēlā lace lace i ka pā inu waina ma mua o ka papa yoga. Eia kekahi, ke kau nei iā ia ma waho o ka hale haʻuki e hoʻāpono hou ai i ke kumu kūʻai i ʻōlelo ʻia ma mua.

ʻO ʻoe ka mea holo wikiwiki, kekeʻe, ʻauʻauʻau, kapa ʻoe iā ia, ma mua o kou mau 20 a hiki paha i nā ʻōpio. Me ka oʻo e hiki ai ke hana i ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa heihei i mea nui mau i kāu kalena kaiāulu paʻahana. Hoʻohui, nā mea hoʻokūkū kūpaʻa wahine i ka piko ma hope o ka makahiki 30, kahi mea momona.

ʻAʻole ʻoe mehana a hiki i ka haki ʻana o kēlā me kēia hui nui o kou kino. He paʻakikī e ʻōlelo i ka wā i hiki ai, akā i ka manawa koke he mau acoustics nui kāu iwi ou.

Ua hele ʻoe i ke ala hiʻona e holo ana no ka mea ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi ma mua o ka papahele ma kou mau kuli, ʻē, nā maka. Nā iwi dem.

Hoʻohana nā mea inu ʻelua e hoʻomaka i kāu pō-a i kēia manawa ʻelua wale nō e hoʻopau iā ia. ʻO ka nūhou maikaʻi: ʻO ke kālā āu e mālama ai i ka cocktails hiki ke hele i kāu CrossFit 10-pack.

ʻO kāu hōʻiliʻili o nā pālule lāhui i lawe i kahi drawer holoʻokoʻa i kāu ʻaahu. Inā holo ʻoe i ka hapalua marathon a ʻaʻohe swag i mea hōʻike, ua hana maoli anei ia?

Manaʻo ʻia nā lomilō he ʻāpana o kāu hana "mālama". Nānā ka wahine ma ka hale kui i kou mau wāwae i kuʻi ʻia a noʻonoʻo i hoʻokahi mea: upsell. "ʻAe, makemake au i ka lomilomi reflexology!"

Loaʻa iā ʻoe nā sneakers ʻē aʻe hou aku maikaʻi loa no ka holo ʻana, kahi ʻē aʻe no ka hāpai ʻana i ka hāpai ʻana, a ʻo kekahi no ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa keʻa, a me nā mea like ʻole. Ma ka liʻiliʻi he kūpono lākou? (Cue "e ke akua, e lilo ana wau i koʻu makuahine" manawa.)

ʻO kāu kāwili holo ʻana ma kāu ipopa nā podcasts a me "audiobooks" This American Life ". ʻO ka holo lōʻihi e hōʻoluʻolu, a hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻolohe wale iā Ellie Goulding i nā manawa he nui. (Eia kekahi, e lilo ana ʻoe i kupuna kāne nou?)

Hoʻolohe maoli ʻoe i ka meaʻai ma mua a ma hope o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa. ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake i kēlā reflux e lele i ka wā o ka heihei ...

Mālama mau nā Lāpule ... a ke ala hou nei mai kāu holo lōʻihi a me kāu holo kaʻa paha i ka Pōʻaono. ʻAʻohe hang hang ma aneʻi!

ʻO kahi huakaʻi yoga a kāu kaikamahine hou. Haki ka wā ma Cancun? Hell no. Kaomi aku i ka tweet inā ʻae ʻoe!

Hiki iā ʻoe ke honi i kahi ʻano hoʻoikaika kino e hoʻāla i kāu plantar fasciitis i hoʻokahi mile. Eia kekahi, i ka manawa hea i hoʻomaka ai ke kani o nā papa hoʻoikaika kino ma ka hale hoʻoikaika kino e like me nā hui punahele a Stefon ma SNL? (Makemake ʻoe i ka Shockwave ma Equinox he bouncer a he kulekele puka koʻikoʻi.)

Makemake ʻoe e hoʻohuli ke kumu i ke mele i ka papa milo a e hoʻokani hou paha iā Britney Spears, TLC, a me Spice Girls. #TBT

Hui ʻoe i ka hui holo e hoʻomaikaʻi maoli i kāu PR ma mua o ka hālāwai ʻana me nā kāne. ʻO wai ka mea e pono ai ka hoʻowaliwali?

ʻAʻole hoʻokolokolo kāu mau hoaaloha iā ʻoe inā ʻoe e hele i ka hola hauʻoli ma hope o ka hoʻolālā me ka ʻole o ka ʻauʻau. ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hāʻawi ʻia ʻana o ka ua nui i nā keiki kulanui.

Hoʻomaopopo maʻalahi ʻoe i ka neʻe ʻana o ka PT ma ka wili huʻa e kokoke ana iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole ʻoe i manaʻo e loaʻa ʻoe i kahi pūhaka maikaʻi ma mua o ka makahiki 60, akā ʻaʻole ʻoe e hoʻokuʻu iā ia e kāohi iā ʻoe.

Nānā nā wahine ʻōpio i kou kino bangin a me kou helehelena hou a pīhoihoi ʻoe i kou mau makahiki. Pololei kēnā, bitches.

ʻAʻole ʻoe i ʻike i ke kūpono, ka wela, a me ke olakino i kou ola ma mua o kāu hana i kēia manawa.

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