Ke Anorexic kou makua: 7 mau mea aʻu e makemake ai i haʻi ʻia e kekahi iaʻu

Anter

• 1. He maikaʻi ke manaʻo he kōkua ʻole
• 2. He maikaʻi ke huhū a huhū paha - a ʻaʻohe mea iki paha
• 3. He maikaʻi ke hoʻomaopopo a hoʻomaopopo ʻole i ka manawa like
• 4. He maikaʻi ke inoa, ʻoiai inā makaʻu ʻoe e kipaku i ka makua
• 5. He maikaʻi ke hoʻāʻo i kekahi mea - ʻoiai inā kekahi o nā mea āu e hoʻāʻo ai e pau i ka 'ʻole'
• 6. Ua maikaʻi inā pilikia kou pili i ka meaʻai a i ʻole kou kino
• 7. ʻAʻole nou ka hewa

Ua kali wau i koʻu ola holoʻokoʻa i haʻi ʻia e kahi mea iaʻu, no laila ke haʻi aku nei iā ʻoe.

ʻIke wau ua Googled au "kākoʻo no ke keiki a ka makua anorexic" i nā manawa he nui ʻole. A, hele i ka helu, ʻo nā hopena wale nō no nā mākua o nā keiki anorexic.

A ke ʻike nei iā ʻoe iho ma kāu iho, e like me ka maʻamau? Hiki iā ia ke hōʻano hou iā ʻoe e like me ka "makua" āu e manaʻo nei.

(Inā ʻo ʻoe kēia, no ke aloha akua, leka uila iaʻu. Manaʻo wau he nui a kāua e kamaʻilio ai.)

Inā ʻaʻohe mea i hoʻolōʻihi i ka manawa e lohi a hōʻoia i kāu mau ʻike, e lilo wau i mua. Eia nā mea ʻehiku aʻu e makemake ai e ʻike iā ʻoe - ʻehiku mau mea aʻu i makemake ai i haʻi mai kekahi iaʻu.

1. He maikaʻi ke manaʻo he kōkua ʻole

ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi inā hōʻole piha kou makua e pili ana i kā lākou anorexia. Hiki iā ia ke makaʻu ke ʻike i kekahi mea akā akā akā ʻaʻole hiki ke kiʻi i kekahi e ʻike iā lākou iho. ʻOiaʻiʻo manaʻo ʻoe ʻaʻohe mea kōkua.

Ma kahi pae maʻamau, pono ka makua e ʻae manawaleʻa e hana i nā ala e pili ana i ka hoʻōla (ke ʻole, e like me aʻu i hana ai, hana kolohe ʻole lākou - a he pae ʻē aʻe āpau ia o ka mea kōkua ʻole). Inā ʻaʻole lākou e lawe i kahi wāwae pēpē, hiki iā ʻoe ke manaʻo paʻa paʻa loa.

E ʻike paha ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hana ana i nā hoʻolālā elaborate e hoʻololi i nā koho waiū ma Starbucks (e pili ana lākou iā ʻoe) a i ʻole e kāpīpī i ka aila CBD i loko o kahi sodaʻai (OK, no laila ʻaʻole wau i ʻike pehea e holo pono ai, akā ua hoʻolilo wau i mau hola. o koʻu ola e noʻonoʻo ana iā ia. E mahuʻi paha ia? E ʻōwili paha ia?).

A no ka kamaʻilio ʻole ʻana o ka poʻe e pili ana i ke kākoʻo no nā keiki a nā mākua anorexic, hiki ke ʻoi aku ke kaʻawale. ʻAʻohe palapala alanui no kēia, a he ʻano ʻano ʻē loa ia o kahi poʻe liʻiliʻi hiki ke hoʻomaopopo.

Kūpono kou mau manaʻo. Ua hele pū wau ma laila.

2. He maikaʻi ke huhū a huhū paha - a ʻaʻohe mea iki paha

ʻOiai paʻakikī e huhū i ka makua, a inā paha ʻoe e ʻike ʻo ia ka anorexia e kamaʻilio ana, a inā lākou e nonoi iā ʻoe ʻaʻole e huhū iā lākou, ʻae, maikaʻi nō ke manaʻo i kāu mea e manaʻo nei.

Huhū ʻoe no ka mea makaʻu ʻoe, a huhū ʻoe i kekahi manawa no ka mea mālama ʻoe. He mau manaʻo kanaka loa kēlā.

Hoʻomaʻamaʻa paha ʻoe i ka pili o ka makua a me ke keiki. ʻAʻole wau i manaʻo he makua koʻu no nā makahiki. Ua lilo ka nele o kēlā i "maʻamau" naʻu.

Inā numbness pehea ʻoe e hana pono ai, e ʻike e ʻaʻohe mea hewa iā ʻoe. ʻO kēia pehea ʻoe e ola nei i ka loaʻa ʻole o ka hānai āu e pono ai. Hoʻomaopopo wau i kēlā, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole kekahi poʻe ʻē aʻe.

Hoʻomaʻo wale wau e hoʻomanaʻo iaʻu no kekahi me ka anorexia, paʻa ka noʻonoʻo i ka laserlike e pili ana i ka meaʻai (a me ka kaohi o ia mea). I kekahi manawa, he nānā tunnel pau loa ia, me he mea lā ʻo ka meaʻai wale nō ka mea nui.

(I kēlā manaʻo, manaʻo paha ʻoe inā ʻaʻohe mea nui, a ʻoi aku paha ka nui o ka meaʻai iā lākou. Akā he mea nui ʻoe, hoʻohiki wau.)

Makemake wau he phaser kaʻu. Hana paha lākou.

3. He maikaʻi ke hoʻomaopopo a hoʻomaopopo ʻole i ka manawa like

ʻIke wau i ka hana ʻana i ka honua olakino noʻonoʻo. Akā ʻaʻohe mea i hoʻomākaukau iaʻu no ka loaʻa ʻana o ka makua me ka anorexia.

ʻOiai ʻo ka ʻike he anorexia kahi maʻi noʻonoʻo - a hiki i ka wehewehe ʻana ke ʻano o ka mālama ʻana o anorexia i nā hiʻohiʻona noʻonoʻo o kahi makua - ʻaʻole ia e maʻalahi e hoʻomaopopo i nā huaʻōlelo e like me "ʻAʻole wau i kaona kaumaha" a i ʻole "ʻai wale wau i ke kō. -free a momona-ʻole no ka mea ʻo ia kaʻu makemake. ”

ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, inā inā he anorexia ka makua no ka manawa lōʻihi, ua hōʻino ka palena i ko lākou kino a me ko lākou noʻonoʻo.

ʻAʻole kūpono nā mea āpau ke hoʻomanawanui kekahi i ka ʻeha e like me kēlā - iā lākou a iā ʻoe - a ʻaʻole ʻoe kuleana no ka hoʻihoʻi ʻana i nā ʻāpana āpau.

4. He maikaʻi ke inoa, ʻoiai inā makaʻu ʻoe e kipaku i ka makua

Ma hope o nā makahiki he 10 o ka pale ʻana a me ka hōʻole ʻana - a laila ka hūnā ʻana o "kēia ma waena o mākou" a "ʻo kā mākou mea huna ia," ke hiki koke ʻo ʻoe huhū i ka poʻe e hōʻike hopohopo - i ka hope e ʻōlelo me ka leo nui hiki ke lilo i ʻāpana nui o kou hoʻōla.

ʻAe ʻia ʻoe e kapa iā ia: anorexia

ʻAe ʻia ʻoe e kaʻana like ʻole i nā hōʻailona e hōʻole ʻia a ʻike ʻia, pehea e waiho ai ka wehewehe ʻana i kahi kānalua ʻole, a pehea ke ʻano o ka ʻike ʻana i kēia. Hiki iā 'oe ke' ohaʻo. No kāu hoʻōla ponoʻī, pono ʻoe.

ʻO ka hana ʻana pēlā i hoʻopakele iaʻu i ka naʻau a ʻae iaʻu e ʻoi aku ka maopopo o ka liʻiliʻi i ke kamaʻilio. ʻOi aku ka maʻalahi o ka kākau ʻia ʻana ma mua o ka mea i ʻōlelo ʻia, akā makemake wau no nā keiki āpau o nā mākua anorexic.

5. He maikaʻi ke hoʻāʻo i kekahi mea - ʻoiai inā kekahi o nā mea āu e hoʻāʻo ai e pau i ka 'ʻole'

Maikaʻi ke hōʻike ʻana i nā mea i holo pono ʻole.

ʻAʻole ʻoe he loea, ʻo ia hoʻi e huehuehu ʻoe i kekahi manawa. Ua hoʻāʻo wau i nā kauoha, a hiki iā lākou ke backfire. Ua hoʻāʻo wau i ka uē ʻana, a hiki i ka backfire pū kekahi. Ua hoʻāʻo wau e hōʻike i nā kumuwaiwai, a i kekahi manawa ke holo nei, i kekahi manawa ʻaʻole.

Akā ʻaʻole au i minamina i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana i kekahi mea.

Inā ʻoe kekahi e ʻae ka makua e kekahi mau hana mana e ʻae i kāu mau noi wikiwiki e mālama lākou iā lākou iho, e hānai iā lākou iho, a pēlā aku, maikaʻi ke hoʻāʻo ʻana inā loaʻa iā ʻoe ka ikaika a me ka bandwith.

E hoʻolohe paha lākou iā ʻoe i kekahi lā a nānā ʻole i kāu mau ʻōlelo i ka lā aʻe. Hiki iā ia ke paʻakikī e paʻa. Pono ʻoe e lawe i hoʻokahi lā i kēlā me kēia manawa.

6. Ua maikaʻi inā pilikia kou pili i ka meaʻai a i ʻole kou kino

Inā he makua anorexic kou a he pilina olakino kou me kou kino, meaʻai, a i ʻole ke kaumaha, he akua akua ʻoe unicorn a pono paha ʻoe e kākau i kahi puke a i ʻole kekahi mea.

Akā manaʻo wau ʻo mākou āpau nā keiki a nā mākua me nā maʻi ʻai e hakakā nei i kekahi kekelē. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke pili loa (inā ʻaʻole unicorn) a hoʻopili ʻole ʻia.

Inā ʻaʻole i loaʻa iaʻu kahi kime haʻuki kahi o nā ʻaina nui o nā kime nui kahi ʻāpana nui o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana, ʻaʻole wau i ʻike i kahi i hoʻopau ai wau i kēia huakaʻi. ʻO ia koʻu makana hoʻōla. Loaʻa paha iā ʻoe kāu ʻaʻole paha.

Akā ʻike wale i kahi poʻe ʻē aʻe e hakakā nei nō hoʻi, e hakakā nei e paʻakikī ʻole, a aloha i ko mākou kino a iā mākou iho a me ko mākou mau mākua pū kekahi.

I kēia manawa, inā makemake ʻoe e loaʻa kahi ahi e kū i ke kānāwai me nā makasina "wahine" āpau e kū pololei ana i waenakonu o kahi Safeway? Aia wau i lalo.

7. ʻAʻole nou ka hewa

ʻO kēia ka mea paʻakikī e ʻae. ʻO ia ke kumu o ka mea hope loa ma kēia papa inoa.

ʻOi aku ka paʻakikī ke loaʻa ka anorexia no ka manawa lōʻihi o ka makua. ʻO ka makaʻu ʻole o ka poʻe me ka lōʻihi ke alakaʻi iā lākou e hoʻopiʻi i ka mea kokoke loa. A koho, ʻo ʻoe nō kēlā.

ʻO ka hilinaʻi ʻana o kou makua iā ʻoe e hōʻike paha iā ia iho ma ke ʻano he kuleana, ka mea i unuhi ʻia i ka ʻōlelo o ka hewa i "kou hewa ia." E kamaʻilio pololei paha kou makua iā ʻoe e like me kekahi e pono ke kuleana e hoʻololi i kahi loli, e like me ke kauka, kahu, a kahu paha (ʻo ka hope o kēia mau mea i loaʻa iaʻu

A paʻakikī keʻae ʻole i kēlā mau kuleana. ʻ telllelo paha ka poʻe iā ʻoe ʻaʻole e waiho iā ʻoe iho i kēlā kūlana, akā ʻaʻole kēlā mau poʻe i nānā i kahi kiʻekiʻe he 60 paona keu ma mua. Akā e hoʻomanaʻo wale nō ʻoiai ua kau ʻia ʻoe i kēlā kūlana, ʻaʻole ia he kumu no ʻoe ke kuleana nui iā lākou a i ʻole nā ​​koho a lākou e hana ai.

No laila, ke ʻōlelo hou nei wau naʻu ma ka hope: ʻAʻole nou ka hewa.

ʻAʻole hiki i kekahi ke lawe i kahi maʻi ʻai o kekahi, ʻoiai pehea mākou e makemake nui ai. Pono lākou e ʻae e hāʻawi - a ʻo ia kā lākou huakaʻi e lawe ai, ʻaʻole kāu. ʻO nā mea āpau āu e hiki ai ke hana ma laila, a ʻo ia kekahi manawa i nui aku.

Ke hana nei ʻoe i kāu mea maikaʻi loa, a ʻike ʻoe i ke aha? ʻO kēlā wale nō ka mea hiki i kekahi ke nīnau iā ʻoe.

ʻO Vera Hannush kahi luna hāʻawi kālā nonprofit, activist queer activist, papa pelekikena a me nā hoa kōkua hui ma ka Pacific Center (kahi kikowaena LGBTQ ma Berkeley), drag king me ka Rebel Kings of Oakland (the "Armenian Weird Al"), kumu aʻo hula, ʻO ka mea manawaleʻa hale noho ʻōpio ʻōpio, ka mea lawelawe ma ka LGBT National Hotline, a me ka mea hoʻohui o nā pūʻulu fanny, nā lau hua waina, a me nā mele pop pop Ukrainian.