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Anter

• "ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke lilo i ka kaumaha"
• "ʻAʻole loa wau e loaʻa ke aloha ʻoiaʻiʻo"
• "Ua ʻelemakule wau no kēlā"
• "ʻAʻole loa wau e puka i waho
• o aie "
• "ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke hoʻololi i koʻu ʻano"
• Nānā no

ʻO ke ʻoiaʻiʻo paha ke kulekele ʻoi loa, akā e alo aku kākou i ke ahi, ke ahi ke kapa kila o kēlā me kēia manawa. A ʻaʻole mākou e kuhi wale nei i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo me kā mākou hoaaloha, ʻohana, a me nā hoa hana-ke hoʻopunipuni nei mākou iā mākou iho.

"He ʻano pale pale naʻau a me ke kino e hoʻohuli i ke ala a mākou e ʻike ai i nā mea i kēlā me kēia manawa," i ʻōlelo ʻia e Simon Rego, Psy.D., ka luna o ke aʻo psychology ma Montefiore Medical Center. "Hiki i kēia mau manaʻo akomi ke hoʻopiha i ko mākou mau poʻo me ka makaʻala ʻole iā lākou a i ʻole ko lākou kūpono ʻole."

ʻAʻole maikaʻi ma muli o ka ʻike ʻana o nā mea noiʻi Notre Dame e hoʻopili paha kēia mau fibs i kou olakino. I ke aʻo ʻana o 110 mau mākua, ʻo ka poʻe i haʻi ʻia ʻaʻole e wahaheʻe ʻaʻole lākou i haʻi pinepine i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua hōʻike pū lākou i ka hoʻomaikaʻi i kā lākou mau pilina, ka hiamoe maikaʻi, ka liʻiliʻi o ke kaumaha a me ke kaumaha, a me ka liʻiliʻi o nā poʻo hina a me nā ʻāʻī ʻeha.

No ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i kou olakino a me kou ola, e hōʻike hewa ʻoe i kēia mau wahaheʻe maʻamau ʻelima me kā mākou ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo loea.

"ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke lilo i ka kaumaha"

Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kihi i ka pālākiō i kou makemake, ʻo kou manawa ka hōʻailona o kahi pilikia hohonu. "He mea paʻakikī loa ka ʻōlelo ʻana e pili ana i ka mea e hoʻopilikia maoli nei i ke kanaka, akā maʻalahi maʻalahi ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi mea e ʻai ai," i ʻōlelo ʻia e ka psychotherapist ma Portland, ʻo Didi Zahariades. "Hiki iā ʻoe ke wahaheʻe iā ʻoe iho a ʻōlelo, 'Pōloli wau,' ʻoiai ʻoiaʻiʻo ke hoʻopiha nei ʻoe i kou mau manaʻo me ka ʻoliʻoli koke a me kahi manawa o ka hoʻopoina ʻana i kāu mau pilikia."

E noʻonoʻo pono i ka maikaʻi o kou hahai ʻana i kāu mau papaʻai a me kāu hoʻolālā hoʻoikaika kino. Ua ʻoluʻolu paha ʻoe i nā ʻāpana i kēia mau lā? Ke haʻalele nei i kāu bootcamp kakahiaka Poalua no ka mea "ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake"? Inā pēlā, maopopo iā ʻoe nā mea hoʻololi e pono ai e hoʻomaka e ʻike i ka hoʻi ʻana o kou kaumaha. ʻO ke kī ʻo ia ke ahonui. "ʻAʻohe mea e kau i 40 paona i 30 mau lā, akā i ka hiki ʻana i ka hoʻokahe ʻana i kēlā mau paona, manaʻo mākou e hiki wawe ia," wahi a Zahariades. E ʻae he huakaʻi lōʻihi paha ia akā hoʻokahi mea kūpono i ka manawa a me ka ikaika, a noʻonoʻo e ʻike i kahi mea hoʻoponopono e kōkua iā ʻoe e kamaʻilio i nā pilikia āpau āu e hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻoholo (a nānā ʻole) e ka ʻai ʻana.

"ʻAʻole loa wau e loaʻa ke aloha ʻoiaʻiʻo"

Hāʻawi ʻia, e like me ka Reuters, aia ma kahi o 54 miliona mau kāne i ka US a ua hoʻāʻo kekahi o 40 miliona o lākou e loaʻa ke aloha ma ka pūnaewele, nui paha ka poʻe e hoʻomau nei i kēia wahaheʻe ponoʻī. ʻO ka pilikia ma aneʻi he paʻakikī e wehewehe i ke "aloha maoli". "Hoʻohālikelike ka poʻe he nui i ke aloha maoli me ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoa kūpono, akā piha ka honua i ka poʻe hewa ʻole," wahi a Cristalle Sese, Psy.D., he psychologist psychologist ma Los Angeles. ʻOi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ka picki a nā poʻe ʻē aʻe akā kānalua i ka wehe loa ʻana iā lākou iho e aloha a hōʻike iā lākou iho a me nā mea a lākou e manaʻo ai he hewa ʻole lākou. "Manaʻo kekahi," Inā hōʻike wau iaʻu iho a hōʻole ʻia, a laila e manaʻo ia he mea waiwai ʻole wau, "a hōʻoiaʻiʻo lākou iā lākou iho ua makemake ʻia lākou no ka mehameha e pale aku i kēlā ʻehaʻeha hiki ke loaʻa," wahi a Sese. "Akā ʻo ka paia ʻana e like me ka ʻaihue i ka manawa kūpono iā ʻoe e kiʻi i ka hauʻoli maoli o ka pili loa a me ka pili aloha."

No laila, e lawe i kahi manawa a waiho iā ʻoe iho i laila, a e ʻike pono ʻaʻole kau mau moemoeā ma kekahi o kēlā mau rom-com e hiki ʻole ke hana ʻia i loko o ke ola maoli ke hoʻāʻo nei iā ʻoe e hele mai kahi naita o kēia ao aku ʻoe i kona mau wāwae. "Inā he manaʻo kūpono kāu, ʻaʻole paha ʻoe e ʻike i ka mea āu i manaʻo ai he aloha maoli, akā hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa kahi aloha maikaʻi loa," wahi a Sese. Inā mahalo a hoʻowaiwai kekahi kanaka iā ʻoe a hana ikaika e kamaʻilio pū me ʻoe, he paʻakikī anei e ʻae i kona ʻili wīwī a me ka hāʻawi ʻana iā ʻoe i nā pānaʻi ma kahi o nā rosa?

"Ua ʻelemakule wau no kēlā"

ʻO ka hoʻohana ʻana i kou mau makahiki ma ke ʻano he kala pinepine i ka luhi o kekahi i ka hana ʻana i nā pahu hopu, wahi a Cathy Holloway Hill, ka mea kākau o Lies, Aloha & Life. Akā he nui nā laʻana e hōʻole i kēia wahaheʻe, e like me Golda Mier, ka mea i lilo i wahine mua i Kuhina Nui o ʻIseraʻela ma 70 mau makahiki wale nō. A i ʻole lohe paha ʻoe i ʻO Betty White?

Ke ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hoʻokuʻu i kou lā hānau ma ke ala, e hoʻāʻo iā ʻoe iho ma ka ʻōlelo ʻana, "ʻO wau ʻaʻole ʻelemakule loa a inā makemake wau, hiki iaʻu ke loaʻa," wahi a Lisa Bahar, he mea hoʻoponopono male a me ka ʻohana ma Newport Beach a me Dana Point, CA. nā hana ke hana hou mākou iā mākou iho a pinepine. Ma hope e hoʻomaka mākou e manaʻoʻiʻo. "

No ka hōʻoia hou ʻana iā ʻoe iho he mea nui ʻole ka makahiki, e hoʻopuni iā ​​ʻoe me nā poʻe i loaʻa kāu makemake a nīnau iā lākou pehea lākou i hele ai i laila, wahi a Bahar. A hoʻomanaʻo i ka huaʻōlelo "ʻaʻole loa ʻoe e haʻalele i ke aʻo ʻana." "ʻO ka ulu pilikino a pilikino hoʻi e pili ana i ka lōʻihi o ke ola. Ke hoʻomau nei mākou i ka ulu ʻana i ko mākou mau makahiki, a ʻaʻohe palena makahiki o nā pahuhopu a me nā hoʻokō ʻana," wahi a Holloway Hill.

"ʻAʻole loa wau e puka i waho

o aie "

Ke piʻi nei nā pila a e kīkē ana nā mea hōʻiliʻili, ʻo ka lā āu e noho hou ʻole ai i ka uku uku e like me ka hiki ʻole. "Maʻalahi ke puhi ʻia e kāu mau ʻike ponoʻī a laila manaʻo me he mea lā e paʻa mau loa ʻoe," wahi a Zahariades. A ke huhū nei ʻoe, e puhi ana i $ 20 a i ʻole $ 50 hou aʻe ma aneʻi a ʻaʻole paha he mea nui.

Me he mea lā he hānau nui ia, akā ʻo ke ala ʻoi loa e piʻi ai i waho o ka ʻulaʻula e hana i kahi moʻohelu kālā no laila ke ola nei ʻoe i loko o kāu waiwai. E hoʻouka mua i nā kāleka hōʻaiʻē a me nā hōʻaiʻē, ʻoiai ke kumu o ka uku liʻiliʻi ʻana iā lākou, wahi a Sese. Paipai ʻo ia iā Mint.com no ka huli ʻana i kāu hoʻolilo kālā ʻana a i ʻole ke ʻike ʻana i kahi mea helu kālā lehulehu i hōʻoia ʻia a i ʻole aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo kālā e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻolālā i kahi hoʻolālā.

"ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke hoʻololi i koʻu ʻano"

ʻOiai hiki i nā hālāwai hou ke hoʻonāukiuki i kekahi i kekahi, hiki iā lākou ke alakaʻi i kekahi e ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī a hoʻonohonoho i kā lākou ala. ʻO nā pilikia o ke ola, mai ka nalo ʻana o ka hana a me ka hemo ʻana i nā pilikia olakino, hiki iā mākou ke pale i ka loli, wahi a Holloway Hill. "ʻAʻohe mea makemake e ʻike i kēlā ʻano ʻeha, no laila hoʻomaka mākou e hoʻāʻo a kāohi i ko mākou kūlana ma ka noho ʻana i kahi hana a i ʻole ka pilina ʻaʻole i hoʻokō a nānā ʻole i kahi pilikia olakino no ka makaʻu i ka loaʻa ʻana o nā lono maikaʻi ʻole." A laila hōʻoia mākou iā mākou iho i kekahi manawa ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke hoʻololi i ko mākou ola, ke kanaka, a me nā kūlana, hoʻohui ʻo ia, no laila noho mākou a ʻae i nā mea e like me ia.

ʻOiai ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kākau hou i nā mea i hala, hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i nā ʻanuʻu liʻiliʻi i kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa a maikaʻi aʻe paha i ka wā e hiki mai ana. "E hoʻonoho i nā pahuhopu liʻiliʻi a maopopo e hiki ai ke loaʻa," wahi a ka mea lapaʻau ʻo New York City, Paul Hokemeyer, J.D., Ph.D. ʻO ka haki ʻana i kāu mau ʻiʻini nui i loko o nā kaʻina hana i kēlā me kēia kaʻina e alakaʻi ai i nā hana mini e hoʻonāukiuki iā ʻoe e hoʻomau i ka hoʻāʻo - a hoʻohui i kahi lanakila nui, i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

Nānā no