ʻAʻohe mea e like me kahi Makua Hemolele
Anter
ʻO koʻu Momona Pono Kūpono ʻAʻole ʻo ka inoa wale nō o kēia kolamu. He hōʻoia ia ʻaʻole hemolele ka pahuhopu.
I koʻu nānā ʻana a puni iaʻu i nā mea e hana nei ma ka honua a ʻike i ka paʻakikī a mākou e hana nei e loaʻa pono ai ke ola i kēlā me kēia lā - keu hoʻi nā mākua - manaʻo wau ʻo kēia ka manawa kūpono loa e hoʻouna ai i kahi hoʻomanaʻo e maikaʻi inā ʻaʻole mākou .
ʻAʻole hiki ke kiʻi i nā mea āpau i ka 100 pākēneka o ka manawa.
No laila e hoʻōki i ka hoʻokau ʻana i kēlā ʻano ʻano pupule iā ʻoe iho e hoʻokō i ka hiki ʻole ke hoʻokō ʻia.
ʻO ka mea hoʻohenehene, he aha ka mea nui maoli e ʻae iā mākou e ʻāwīwī i nā mea ma ke ala.
Yep, ʻoiai he mau mākua. No ka mea kūʻē i ka moʻolelo i aʻo ʻia ka hapanui o nā kānaka e pili ana i ke koʻikoʻi o ka "hemolele," he kaʻao maoli nō ia. A ʻo ka wikiwiki o ka hoʻopau ʻana i kēlā kaʻao a hoʻopili i ko mākou hemahema hemolele, ʻo ka wikiwiki nō ia e wehe i ko mākou hiki maoli a ulu pono.
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, makaʻu mākou āpau i ka hoʻopili ʻana i kekahi pae, ʻo wau pū kekahi. No ka mea ʻaʻohe mea makemake e nānā a ʻano hemahema paha, inept, a naʻaupō paha. ʻO ka makua paha.
Akā ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻohe o mākou e kui i nā mea āpau i kēlā me kēia manawa. A ʻaʻole e loaʻa iā mākou nā pane āpau.
E ʻōlelo ana mākou a hana i ka mea kūpono ʻole he nui, akā OK kēlā. Makemake, he maoli OK.
No laila, e aloha iā ʻoe ma mua o ka hope a hoʻololi i kēlā leo nūhou i kou poʻo e ʻōlelo nei he hewa nā hewa me kahi leo ikaika, ʻoi aku ka mana i haʻi ʻia ʻo nā hewa ʻo ia ka ʻīpuka e hoʻololi a me ka kūleʻa a me ka nui.
No ka mea ke manaʻoʻiʻo mākou i kēlā a hoʻohālikelike i kēlā - a aʻo hope loa i ia - i kā mākou poʻe keiki, ʻo ia ka mea e hoʻololi ai i ka pāʻani.
Manaʻo wau ua ʻōlelo maikaʻi ka mea kākau Pelekane ʻo Neil Gaiman:
“… Inā ʻoe e hana hewa, a laila ke hana nei ʻoe i nā mea hou, ke hoʻāʻo nei i nā mea hou, ke aʻo ʻana, ka noho ʻana, kaomi ʻana iā ʻoe iho, ka hoʻololi ʻana iā ʻoe iho, ka hoʻololi ʻana i kou honua. Ke hana nei ʻoe i nā mea āu i hana ʻole ai ma mua, a ʻo ka mea nui loa, ke hana nei ʻoe i kekahi mea.“
A ʻo nā mea āpau e paʻa i ka makua.
A ʻoiai ʻike wau i ka ʻikepili a me ka subconsciously ʻelua a mākou e hoʻoikaika ai e lilo i mau mākua kūpono a hānai i nā keiki kūpono, ʻaʻole hiki.
E hana hewa lākou
No laila, ma kahi o, eia kahi manaʻo maʻalahi mai kahi makuahine o ʻelua mau kaikamahine he 20 mau mea i noho ma kēia mea makua no ʻelua mau makahiki a ʻoi paha: He maikaʻi ke hāʻawi iā mākou iho, ma ke ʻano he mākua, ke kukui ʻōmaʻomaʻo e hana hewa i ke ala like e pono ai. e ʻae i kā mākou keiki e hana like. No ka mea ʻo ia kēlā ke ala kumu e aʻo ai mākou āpau i ka hoʻomanawanui.
Mai kuʻu wahi kiʻekiʻe ma ke ʻano he makua, he kumu ma mua, kahi mea kākau makua, mea kākau kolamu, a me kahi mea mālama lekiō, ʻike wau i kahi honua piha i nā keiki pīhoihoi, he nui ka poʻe e hoʻokele nei i ko lākou ala i ke ola ma lalo o ka loa kuhi hewa i mea e hele ai i mua i kēia ao, pono lākou e hemolele, pāʻani no ka hui varsity, aia i nā papa AP āpau, a ace kā lākou SAT.
A koho ʻo wai kā lākou e ʻohi nei? Kuhi ʻo wai ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana i kēia pā i kiʻekiʻe kiʻekiʻe ʻole?
ʻO mākou nō ia. ʻO mākou ka mea e kōkua nei i kā mākou poʻe keiki e kākau i kēlā moʻolelo a ke palupalu nei iā lākou no ka mea he ala kahiko a hiki ʻole ia o ka noʻonoʻo ke hoʻonohonoho wale i kā mākou keiki e wāwahi ke kū lākou i ka honua.
E nānā, makemake mākou āpau i ka mea maikaʻi loa no kā mākou keiki. ʻIke maopopo. Makemake mākou iā lākou e kūleʻa a holomua a holomua, akā ʻaʻole lākou e hana ia mea e like me ka wikiwiki o kekahi - e hana wale lākou ke mākaukau. Ke hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻoneʻe iā ia e hana i ka inaina ma waena ou a me lākou.
E hoʻonohonoho i nā mea i kūpono ʻole e like me ka hoʻomohala ʻana o nā keiki ʻē aʻe he kūpono ʻole ia a hoʻonohonoho i kahi mua weliweli. ʻO wai lā kikoʻī no ke aha mākou e pono ai e ʻapo i kā mākou poʻe keiki ma kahi o lākou. (A hana like i kā mākou iho.)
Pono mākou e ʻae i kā mākou poʻe keiki i kā mākou kākoʻo a me ko mākou ahonui, no ka mea ke ʻike lākou he mea kēlā na lākou, ʻo ia ka manawa e hoʻomaka ai lākou e pua. A ke manaʻo lākou ʻaʻohe kā mākou kākoʻo a me kā mākou ʻae, ʻo ia ka wā a lākou e makemake ai.
ʻO ia ka manawa e hoʻomaka ai kā mākou poʻe keiki e nānā nui i ka mea a kēlā me kēia mea e hana nei e hana nei i ka hana hoʻohaʻahaʻa manawa nui i luna maʻamau. A ʻo ka mea like loa hiki ke ʻōlelo ʻia no mākou he mau mākua.
ʻAʻole wale nā keiki e pono e hoʻomanaʻo
ʻO ka mea ʻē aʻe a mākou e pono ai e hōʻalo i kēlā pono wale e like me ka nui ʻole o ke ana ʻana i kā mākou poʻe keiki i nā keiki ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole ia e ana iā mākou iho i nā mākua ʻē aʻe. No ka mea e manaʻoʻiʻo iaʻu, makemake ʻoe. He nui.
ʻOi aku i ka manawa e hele ai kāu poʻe keiki i ke kula a ʻike ʻia ʻoe i nā ʻano mākua āpau. E pale aku i kēlā koi, no ka mea, e koho ʻoe i ka koho ʻelua i kēlā me kēia hoʻoholo āu e hoʻoholo ai. ʻAʻole e hōʻike i ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana iā ʻoe iho i nā mākua ʻē aʻe ʻaʻole loa hoʻolilo iā ʻoe i makua maikaʻi ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
A paʻakikī, ʻike wau, no ka mea ke hoʻomaka ʻoe e launa pū me nā makuahine a me nā makuakāne a me nā keiki ʻē aʻe i kēlā me kēia lā, kiʻekiʻe ke hoʻowalewale e ana iā ʻoe iho a me kou kaila ponoʻī kūʻē i nā mākua ʻē aʻe āu e hui pū ai.
E aʻo ʻoe i ka nui o nā ʻano mākua a me nā kaila o ka makua ma laila ma laila, kahi e alakaʻi ai iā ʻoe e nīnau pehea ʻoe e makua ai i kāu poʻe keiki ponoʻī.
E hopu ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hoʻāʻo ana e hoʻopili i nā hoʻokokoke a nā mākua ʻē aʻe e hoʻohana ai, me ka manaʻo e loaʻa nā hopena like.
A ʻoiai e holo kekahi, e kūleʻa kekahi mau epic - hoʻohiki ʻia. A ʻo ia ka mea e alakaʻi ai i ka hoʻoholo hewa ʻana i nā mākua ma muli wale nō o ka hana ʻana o kekahi mea no haʻi. ʻO kēia ke kumu e pono ai ʻoe e pale i ka makemake e ukali pū.
No laila, e hoʻomanaʻo, i kou neʻe ʻana i kēia huakaʻi lōʻihi a nani a paʻakikī hoʻi i nā manawa āpau, ʻo ke ao aʻo no mākou ma ke ʻano he ākea ka makua e like me kā mākou keiki.
No ka mea ʻaʻohe ala kūpono, ʻaʻohe keiki maikaʻi, a ʻaʻohe makua kūpono ʻole.
ʻO ia ke kumu e kū paʻa nei wau ma hope o ka manaʻo ʻo ka mea nui loa i hiki i kekahi o mākou ke hana ma ke ʻano he mau mākua (a me nā kānaka) e ʻae iā mākou iho i ka lohi e lawe i nā pilikia a hāʻule i lalo a hāʻule ʻole.
No ka mea ʻo ia, e nā hoaaloha, pehea kā mākou e aʻo ai pehea e ala hou ai, e neʻe i mua, a kui iā ia i ka manawa aʻe.
Nā Mākua ma ka hana: nā limahana mua
He mea kākau makua ʻo Lisa Sugarman, kahi mea kākau kolamu, a me kahi mea hōʻike lekiō e noho ana ma ka ʻākau o Bosetona me kāna kāne a me ʻelua mau kaikamahine makua. Kākau ʻo ia i ka kolamu manaʻo syndicated lāhui He mea aha ia a ʻo ia ka mea kākau o "Pehea e hānai pono ai i nā kamaliʻi hemahema a e laʻa me ia," "Untying Parent Anxiety," a me "OLA: ʻO ia nō ia." ʻO Lisa kekahi o ka mea hui pū o KE KEIA UNfiltered on Northshore 104.9FM a me kahi mea hāʻawi mau ma GrownAndFlown, Thrive Global, Care.com, LittleThings, Nā ʻIke Hou Ano, a I kēia lā.com. E kipa iā ia ma lisasugarman.com.
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