Ke hana mau nei ka moekolohe mai nā kauka kāne kāne - a pono e hōʻoki

Anter

• Akā i nā makahiki i hala iho nei, ua ʻike wau i nā holo he nui he nui me nā kauka kāne i haʻalele iaʻu me ka hōʻeha ʻia.
• Ma ke ʻano he mea ʻike i ka hoʻomāinoino moekolohe, ua like kēia mau hanana me he mea lā e hoʻokani ana ka mana maʻalea.
• A i ka hopena, mamao loa wau mai kahi wale nō i ʻike i kekahi mea e like me kēia.
• Pāʻani paha mākou e kiʻi i ka mea e pono ai? A i ʻole e makaʻu paha mākou e ʻike ʻia he 'paʻakikī' a hoʻoweliweli paha i ko mākou olakino?
• ʻOiai maʻalahi (a maʻalahi) ke manaʻo ʻole i ka mana ʻole i kēia mau hanana, ua hoʻomaka wau e kaomi i hope.
• Mahalo wau i nā kauka kāne aʻu i mālama ai i ka pā kiʻekiʻe a hāʻawi i ka mālama maikaʻi, e hōʻoiaʻiʻo ana iaʻu hiki a pono wau e palekana me he mea maʻi lā.

E hoʻomākeʻaka paha kahi kauka wahine e pili ana i kona hiki ke hana iā ia iho i mua o koʻu alo me ka ʻole o kahi kahu kahu maʻi?

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I kēia mau lā, ua hoʻowalewale ʻia wau e kākau i nā kauka kāne āpau.

ʻAʻole wau i kēia manawa.

ʻAʻole wau e ʻike i nā kauka kāne, no ka mea e ʻike wau. ʻIke mau wau iā lākou no ka mea hoʻomanaʻo wau i kekahi o nā kauka kāne kāne maikaʻi i kōkua nui iaʻu i loko o kaʻu huakaʻi olakino.

Manaʻo wau i kaʻu gastroenterologist, ka mea i hele mau iaʻu i ke kūpono, a ʻo wai ka mea ʻoluʻolu a mahalo hoʻi i kāna pilina me aʻu.

Manaʻo wau i kaʻu dermatologist, ka mea ʻoi aku ka mea ʻoihana ʻoiai e hāʻawi ana iaʻu i kahi ʻili maʻamau o ka ʻili - {textend} kahi hana kino holoʻokoʻa e pili maoli i ke ʻano.

ʻO kēia mau kauka nā mea maikaʻi.

Akā i nā makahiki i hala iho nei, ua ʻike wau i nā holo he nui he nui me nā kauka kāne i haʻalele iaʻu me ka hōʻeha ʻia.

I nā manawa he nui, ua hālāwai wau me nā kauka kāne e manaʻo nei he maikaʻi ke hāʻawi i kahi manaʻo kolohe, moekolohe - {textend} ke ʻano o ka manaʻo i manaʻo ʻia e like me ka mana o ka mana, a i ʻole ka manaʻo o ka hōʻoluʻolu like ʻole ʻoiaʻiʻo kaʻana like.

Hoʻopili kēia i ke kāne OB-GYN, ka mea, ma hope o ka loiloi ʻana i koʻu mōʻaukala, i ʻōlelo: "ʻĀ, ua hihiu a pupule paha ʻoe, ʻeā?"

Ua pūʻiwa au. ʻAʻohe aʻu mau ʻōlelo i kēia manawa - {textend} akā ʻaʻole, ʻaʻole au hihiu a pupule i ka makahiki 18. Ua hoʻomāinoino ʻia wau.

Hāmau wale wau a hiki i koʻu hoʻi ʻana i ka hale, komo i loko o koʻu wahi moe, a haʻohaʻo no ke aha e uē ai.

ʻO kēia ʻano “micro-misogyny” he mea maʻa mau ia i nā keʻena o ke kauka kāne, kahi pōʻaiapili e hiki ai i ka mea hoʻomanawanui-kauka ke haʻalele iā mākou me ka nawaliwali a me ka ikaika ʻole.

Aia pū kekahi ka manaʻo mai ka haumāna-i-hoʻomaʻamaʻa a me ka haumāna olakino - {textend} nā kāne ʻelua - {textend} ma ke keʻena dermatologist, ka mea i ʻōlelo mai iaʻu: "E hele wau e kiʻi i ke kahu kahu maʻi e hōʻoiaʻiʻo i kā mākou hana ponoʻī , "Me he mea lā he manawa kūpono ʻaʻole lākou e" hana "iā lākou iho me aʻu.

E noho olohelohe ana wau i mua o lākou, e mālama ai i ka ʻaukā pepa lahilahi e uhi ana i koʻu kino. ʻAʻole wau i palekana i mua, akā ʻaʻole wau i palekana i kēia manawa.

Ua hoʻomākeʻaka paha kahi wahine kauka ʻo ia hiki ke hana iā ia iho i mua o koʻu alo me ka ʻole o kahi kahu kahu maʻi? ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke pale akā manaʻoʻiʻo i ka liʻiliʻi o ka manawa.

Ma ke ʻano he mea ʻike i ka hoʻomāinoino moekolohe, ua like kēia mau hanana me he mea lā e hoʻokani ana ka mana maʻalea.

No ke aha i manaʻo ai kēia haumāna noho-hoʻomaʻamaʻa a haumāna haumāna lapaʻau i ka pono e ʻakaʻaka i kaʻu lilo? E hōʻoluʻolu ai iā lākou iho e pili ana i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo hiki e hoʻohana maikaʻi iaʻu inā ʻaʻole koi ʻia e loaʻa kahi kahu i loko o ka lumi i kēlā manawa?

ʻAʻole naʻe wau e ʻike i kā lākou kumu, akā hiki ke kaʻanalike ʻaʻole pae ka ʻaka. ʻAʻole naʻu, ma ka liʻiliʻi.

Ua liʻiliʻi wau ma 4'11 ", a he wahine palupalu hoʻi wau. ʻO 28 wau a he helehelena hou. ʻO nā mea āpau e ʻōlelo, hiki iaʻu ke noʻonoʻo e nānā lākou iaʻu ma ke ʻano he mea hiki iā lākou ke hana i kēia mau ʻōlelo.

Kekahi e makemake ʻole e ʻōlelo i kekahi mea. ʻO kekahi e ʻae e paheʻe.

I ka noho ʻana me ka hoʻouka kolohe i ka hala i hala, ua kala ʻia kēia mau ʻōlelo. Ua hoʻonāukiuki lākou a hana lākou i nā hoʻomanaʻo kahiko o ka manawa i lawe ʻia ai koʻu kino mai oʻu aku me ka ʻole o kaʻu ʻae.

Ma ke ʻano he mea hoʻomanawanui, manaʻo ka hapa nui o mākou i ka nele a me ka nāwaliwali. No laila he aha kēia sexist "banter" i hana maʻamau ʻia ai hoʻolālā wale ʻia e hana i nā wahine i ka nui o ka mana ʻole?

ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole wau makemake e ʻike ʻia wau ma ke ʻano nui loa, akā mau ka ʻoiaʻiʻo: kūpono ʻole kēia mau ʻōlelo a pono ʻole e hoʻomanawanui ʻia.

A i ka hopena, mamao loa wau mai kahi wale nō i ʻike i kekahi mea e like me kēia.

Ua haʻi aku ʻo Angie Ebba i kāna moʻolelo iaʻu: "ʻOiai ma ka papa ʻaina hānau, i ka hala ʻana o ka hana a me ka hānau ʻana i kahi pēpē preemie, ʻo kaʻu kāne ʻo OB-GYN, ka mea e hana nei i ka humuhumu ʻana i kahi aʻu i haehae ai, nānā akula i kaʻu a laila-kāne a ʻōlelo, 'Makemake wau e hoʻokomo i kahi humuhumu kāne?' a ʻakaʻaka. "

ʻLelo ʻo ia iaʻu ʻaʻohe kuhi a kāna kāne i ka mea a ke kauka e kamaʻilio nei, akā ua hana ʻo ia.

Me he mea lā, e hoʻomākeʻaka ana ʻo ia i ka hoʻokomo ʻana i kahi suture keu e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i kāna wahi liʻiliʻi, a no laila ʻoi aku ka leʻaleʻa o ke kāne i ka wā o ka moekolohe.

ʻ sayslelo ʻo ia, "Inā ua emi wau i ka luhi (a ʻike ʻoe, ʻaʻole i ka waena o ke kau ʻana. Kuhi wau inā kua wau iā ia i ke poʻo."

ʻO kekahi wahine, ʻo Jay kauwela, kaʻana like i kahi ʻike like me aʻu, ʻoiai ua loaʻa kēia iā ia i ka 19.

"He mea maʻamau ke kipa ma mua a hiki i koʻu noi ʻana i ka pale hānau," wahi a Jay.

"Hoʻomaopopo wau ua kūpilikiʻi ʻo ia a ua hoʻokolokolo loa kona leo ke nīnau ʻo ia," Ua male ʻoe? ' me he mea lā ua pīhoihoi loa ʻo ia e makemake ana kahi kāne male ʻole i ka kaohi hānau. Ua ʻōlelo au ʻaʻole a ua nīnau ʻo ia i koʻu mau makahiki a uhu, e like me [ʻo 19 a makemake wau i ka hānau hānau] ka mea hoʻowahāwahā loa loa ʻia. ”

ʻO kēia mau manawa o ka 'micro-misogyny' kau i nā wahine i kahi kūlana hiki ʻole.

Pāʻani paha mākou e kiʻi i ka mea e pono ai? A i ʻole e makaʻu paha mākou e ʻike ʻia he 'paʻakikī' a hoʻoweliweli paha i ko mākou olakino?

ʻAʻohe o mākou manawa e hemo hou ai i ka hana, a i ʻole ka mea leʻaleʻa e hele i waho o ke keʻena o ke kauka a ʻike i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe - {textend} i kekahi kauka ʻē aʻe i kā mākou pūnaewele, ma lalo o kā mākou papa ʻinikua, i kēlā mahina like i hiki iā mākou ke pono i nā pane i nā nīnau lapaʻau koʻikoʻi e pili ana i kā mākou kino.

ʻAʻohe o kā mākou leʻaleʻa o ka hele ʻana i waho no ka mea ʻo kā mākou makemake (ʻo kā mākou hopena hopena, nā pane i kā mākou nīnau, kahi kuhikuhi) mālama ʻia ma luna o ko mākou poʻo, a pono mākou e pāʻani maikaʻi i mea e loaʻa ai.

Ua lilo ia i mea ola i kahi ala: Inā hiki iaʻu ke hele i loko o kēia, inā ʻaʻole wau e ʻōlelo i kekahi mea, malia paha e loaʻa wau i nā pane e pono ai a hiki ke hoʻomau i koʻu lā.

I kēia ikaika, loaʻa ka mana i nā kauka kāne. Hiki iā lākou ke ʻōlelo i kā lākou makemake, a malia paha, aia kahi mea liʻiliʻi hiki ke hana ʻia e hoʻololi ai inā makemake ʻoe e hoʻokō ʻia kāu mau pono.

He papa ʻaʻa ʻaʻohe wahine e hoʻokele i ka ʻimi ʻana i kona olakino.

ʻOiai maʻalahi (a maʻalahi) ke manaʻo ʻole i ka mana ʻole i kēia mau hanana, ua hoʻomaka wau e kaomi i hope.

I ka hihia o kaʻu kāne OB-GYN, ua hōʻike aku wau iā ia i ka mokuʻāina olakino mokuʻāina i ukali pū me aʻu a ua ʻimi hou i kēia mea.

No ka kamaʻāina, ua leka uila wau i kaʻu dermatologist e wehewehe i ke kūlana a hōʻike iā ia, no ka mea ke hoʻomaʻamaʻa nei ʻo ia a ma kahi ʻano aʻo, aʻo kekahi iā ia e pili ana i ka ʻaoʻao moe a me ka pili pono o ka hoʻomanawanui.

I ka pane ʻana, kāhea maila kaʻu kauka e kala aku a hoʻomaopopo iaʻu ua kamaʻilio ʻo ia me ka kamaʻāina e pili ana i ke kūlana a ke manaʻo nui ʻia nei.

ʻAʻole kaʻu pahuhopu maʻemaʻe e hoʻopaʻi a hoʻopaʻi paha. Akā ʻo ia is ʻO kaʻu pahuhopu e aʻo a hoʻoponopono, a e hoʻomaopopo i kahi mea hana a hoʻomaʻamaʻa hoʻomaʻamaʻa ke ʻike ʻia kahi mea kūpono ʻole.

A i ka hopena o ka lā, pono ia i kēlā me kēia mea.

Hiki iā ia ke kōkua e hōʻoia i ka hōʻalo ʻana o nā kauka i nā hana hewa e hiki mai ana, nā mea maʻi nalo, a me nā ala litigious kūpono. A i kahi ala liʻiliʻi, ʻike wau i ka mana e ʻike nei i kēia ʻano ʻōlelo hōʻeuʻeu a me nā ʻōlelo hōʻino (manaʻolana) ʻaʻole e hoʻomau a hoʻomau i ka hōʻino ʻana i nā wahine ʻē aʻe i ke ala a lākou i hana ʻino mai ai iaʻu.

ʻOiai ʻaʻole ia e māʻona i kēia manawa, eia nā ʻano hana aʻu e hana nei: ke kamaʻilio ʻana, ka hoʻololi ʻana i nā kauka, a me ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana i nā hoʻopiʻi ke kū ʻia kahi "micro-misogyny".

Mahalo wau i nā kauka kāne aʻu i mālama ai i ka pā kiʻekiʻe a hāʻawi i ka mālama maikaʻi, e hōʻoiaʻiʻo ana iaʻu hiki a pono wau e palekana me he mea maʻi lā.

A inā keʻa aʻe kahi kauka kāne i kahi laina i kēia manawa, ua hana wau i mea e hoʻopaʻa ai iā lākou ke hiki.

Mālama wau iā lākou i kahi kūlana kiʻekiʻena no ka mea manaʻo wau ʻo nā mea maʻi āpau - {textend} ʻo ia hoʻi nā wahine a me nā mea i pakele i ka hoʻoweliweli wahine.

ʻO Annalize Mabe kahi mea kākau a mea aʻo hoʻi mai Tampa, Florida. Ke aʻo nei ʻo ia ma ke Kulanui o South Florida.