"Ua hānau ʻia au me ka pā palai i koʻu waha"

Anter

• Nānā no

Ke komo nei ʻo ia i kona lauoho ʻulaʻula i loko o nā nalu ʻili a me nā jeans ʻili keʻokeʻo maʻalahi e hōʻike ana i kona mau wāwae leo, ʻoi aku ka ʻōpio ʻo Chelsea Handler-a ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi - a laila hana ʻo ia ma kāna hōʻike haʻiʻōlelo, Chelsea i kēia mau lā. Ua lilo paha ʻo ia i ke kaumaha, a i ʻole he mea i loaʻa iā ia i ka maʻi weliweli ʻo kamera-adds-10-paona? "ʻAe, TV hana e nānā iā ʻoe he 10 mau manawa momona, ʻike ʻoe, "i ʻōlelo ʻo ia ma kahi ʻaina awakea o ka sushi, nā ʻāpala, a me kahi saladi kukama." Ua hoʻi au i ka hale e kipa aku i koʻu ʻohana ma hope o ka hoʻomaka mua o kaʻu hōʻike, a ua ʻōlelo koʻu kaikuahine iā Tome, "Auwe. nānā maikaʻi! E ʻōlelo ana mākou e pili ana i kou kaumaha no ka mea he nui kou nānā ʻana ma ka TV! A laila nānā wau i kā lākou kīwī, a ʻike wau aia iā lākou ma ka pale ākea! Ua like wau, 'ʻAe, ke nānā nui nei au! Wehe ia mai ka pale ākea, e ka poe eo.'"

Eia nō naʻe, hiki ke hele maʻalahi i kahi ala ʻē aʻe. No ka loaʻa ʻana o kona kino olakino maikaʻi, ua lanakila ka mea hoʻokalakupua i hānau ʻia ma New Jersey i ka moʻolelo olakino ʻohana maikaʻi ʻole (ma hope o ke kaua lōʻihi me ka maʻi kanesa, ua make kona makuahine i ʻehā makahiki i hala, ua loaʻa i kona makuakāne ke ʻokiʻoki quadruple-bypass); he aloha nui no ka cocktails kiʻekiʻe-calorie, ka meaʻai wikiwiki, a me nā meaʻai paʻakai; a me kahi hiki ʻole lōʻihi e pili i kahi hana hoʻoikaika kino.

E kiʻi i ka meaʻai no ka meaʻai olakino punahele a Chelsea-ʻo ka berena ʻiʻo turkey a kona kaikunāne!

Ua ʻike ʻo Chelsea pono ʻo ia e hoʻololi i ka nohona. No laila ua hoʻolimalima ʻo ia i kahi mea hānai a hōʻano hou i kāna hoʻolālā hoʻolālā-a ʻoi aku kona ʻano i kēia manawa ma mua o kona wā ʻōpio. "Ua piha au i 35 makahiki, a ua like ia me he makahiki hou iaʻu," wahi a Chelsea, nona ka puke ʻekolu, ʻO Chelsea Bang Bang, ua hoʻokuʻu wale ʻia. "ʻAʻole wau i kūpono, ua nui ka ikaika a me ka nānā pū."

"Ua hānau ʻia au me kahi palai palani ma kuʻu waha"

"ʻAʻole koʻu mau mākua nā meaʻai olakino." Wahi a Chelsea, ka mea e ulu ana a ʻae ʻia e ʻae i Yodels a me Doritos ma waena o nā meaʻai. "He kuke maikaʻi koʻu makuahine, akā ʻo kona manaʻo no ka ʻai māmā ma hope o ke kula he mac 'a me ka cheese a me nā brownies. Ua lōʻihi ka manawa e hoʻopau iaʻu iho ma hope o koʻu neʻe ʻana i LA. No ʻewalu mau makahiki, ua hele ʻo ia mai kekahi mea nui a i kekahi ʻē aʻe, e ʻai ana i nā meaʻai maikaʻi ʻole a laila pōloli ʻo ia iā ia iho e lilo ka kaumaha. "ʻOiai wau i manaʻo e hana nei au i nā koho olakino, ʻaʻole wau." ia nei. "ʻAʻole au i ʻike, no ka laʻana, ʻaʻole maikaʻi ka saladi me 3 paona o ka lole!" I ka wā i māʻona ai ʻo ia i ka make ʻana o ka yo-yo, ua ʻike ʻo ia i kahi nutristist nāna i aʻo iā ia e hana i nā koho meaʻai olakino a ʻai pinepine i ka lā. "Aloha au i ka meaʻai," wahi a Chelsea, ʻoiai ʻo ia e ʻeli ana i loko o kahi kīʻaha edamame. "Pono wau e ʻai! ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke hana i ka hoʻomaʻemaʻe wai a i ʻole hoʻopunipuni i kekahi manawa!"

"ʻO kaʻu papaʻai ia, a e inu wau inā makemake wau!"

ʻOiai ua mākaukau ʻo Chelsea e hana i kahi hoʻolālā olakino hou, aia hoʻokahi mea āna i makemake ʻole e haʻalele. "Ua haʻi au i kaʻu meaʻai meaʻai, 'ʻAʻole wau e haʻalele i ka inu. Aloha wau e pāʻani me kaʻu mau hoaaloha a loaʻa i ka cocktails a me ka ʻaina awakea, ʻo ia kaʻu e hoʻomaha ai,' "wahi āna. "Ua wehewehe ʻo ia ʻaʻole maikaʻi maikaʻi ka vodka calorie-wisdom, inā ʻoe e inu me ka soda. ʻO ka ʻike he hiki iaʻu ke inu i maʻalahi ka pili ʻana i ka papahana."

ʻO ka hapa nui, ʻai ʻo Chelsea i nā meaʻai maikaʻi hou - pale i nā mea i hana ʻia-ke hiki. Hoʻomaka maʻamau kona lā me kahi kīʻaha oatmeal i hui pū ʻia me kahi scoop o ka pauka protein a me kahi spoonful o nā hua flax lepo. ʻO Turkey a me kahi salakeke arugula me ka ʻumiʻumi ʻia o Parmesan-ʻaʻohe ʻaʻahu-ʻo ia nō kāna meaʻai māmā waena, a no ka ʻaina awakea, he sushi kāna. ʻO kona kaikunāne, he chef, e kuke pinepine ana no kāna mau mea punahele, ʻo ia hoʻi ka ʻiʻa kai ʻala, ka moa, a me ka salakeke ʻōmaʻomaʻo me ka berena ʻiʻo turkey. ʻOiai ʻo kāna mau ʻoluʻolu he mea noʻonoʻo: No ka ʻai ʻai wikiwiki, e wehe ʻo ia i kahi ʻeke liʻiliʻi o Doritos (make ikaika nā hana kahiko!), ʻelua a ʻekolu paha, a hoʻolei i ke koena. Akā ʻo kāna splurge punahele i nā manawa āpau, laki ʻo 3,000 mile mai ka home. "Aia kahi hale ʻaina ma New Jersey e hana ana i nā kīʻaha steak me ka mozzarella hehee āu e ʻū ai i loko o ka gravy," wahi āna, me ka ʻālohilohi o nā maka i ka hoʻomanaʻo. "I kēlā me kēia manawa aʻu e ʻai ai ma laila, ua like wau, "Hiki iaʻu ke neʻe i loko, e ʻoluʻolu?' ʻOiaʻiʻo, no ke aha wau e haʻalele ai? "

"He ola kino wau-a hiki i koʻu loaʻa ʻana iā Pilates"

ʻOiai ua hana mau ʻo ia, ʻōlelo ʻo Chelsea ʻo ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoʻomaʻamaʻa āna i makemake ai-a hiki iā ia ke hana i ia-he paʻakikī nui loa ia."Ua ho'āʻo wau iā lākou a pau," ʻae ʻo ia. "Akā, hoʻopau wau i ka haʻalele ʻana no ka mea e luhi wau. A i ʻole, e like me ka yoga, ma hope o nā mahina o ka hana ʻana, e loaʻa ana iaʻu ka ʻōpū o ka ʻōpū.

"A ʻo ka hana cardio ma ka hale haʻuki hiki ke hoʻonāukiuki loa! Ke inaina nei au i ka loaʻa ʻana o 50 treadmills a ʻo wau wale nō ma laila, a laila lele wale kekahi i ka mīkini ma kahi kokoke iaʻu! Aloha!"

ʻO Pilates, akā, he kūpono kūpono. "ʻO ia ka mea maʻalahi loa i koʻu kino," wahi a Chelsea. "Ua lōʻihi au a wīwī a ʻoi aku ka nani. Hiki iaʻu ke ʻōlelo ʻoiaʻiʻo ua hoʻololi ia i koʻu kino-a me koʻu ola."

Nānā no