Pehea e nānā ai i nā kiʻi kiʻi kiʻi kiʻi kiʻi: ʻo wai ka mea mālama?

Anter

• Nānā no

Ke hana ʻoe i ka hoʻopaʻa haʻawina o nā pilina i kāu hana e like me aʻu, hoʻopau ʻoe i ka kamaʻilio weliweli e pili ana i ka pili aloha. No laila, ʻaʻohe mea ʻē aʻe i ka wā i hele mai ai kekahi mea kūʻai wahine ma kāna mau makahiki he 20 e ʻike iaʻu no ka mea ua puhi ʻia ʻo ia a ʻeha e kahi kāne āna i makemake nui ai.

"Ua ʻike wau i kāna mau kiʻi paʻi kiʻi, a kuhi au ua ʻike paha wau i nā lepa ʻulaʻula," wahi a ke kaikamahine me ke kaumaha i kona pāʻani ʻana me ka zipper ma luna o kāna hoodie ʻulaʻula. ʻO kaʻu mea kūʻai aku, aʻu e kāhea aku ai iā Abby, ke kuʻi nei iā ia iho no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻike mai kinohi mai ʻo ke kāne āna i hele pū ai me ʻelua mau manawa he "mea pāʻani" ia. Ua hoʻomau ʻo Abby e hōʻike iaʻu i kekahi o kāna mau kiʻi.

"E hoʻopaʻa i hoʻokahi minute!" Ua kūʻē au iā ia i ka huli ʻana i kekahi mau pilikia, uh, pilikia. Ua nānā au i ke kiʻi o kahi kanaka lauoho ʻeleʻele nani loa i loko o ke keʻena haʻuki, me ke kiʻi i hoʻonui ʻia ma luna o kona ʻiʻo bicep i kāna hana ʻana i kahi curl. Mai laila (yikes), ua ʻōwili mākou i ka mea aʻe, ʻaʻohe o lākou mea i loko o ia mea wale nō-kahi Mercedes hou i kū i mua o kahi hale kaʻa inoa ʻole. ʻO ke koena o ke kau ʻano holo ponoʻī, hiki iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo.

ʻAʻohe mea hōʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke heluhelu nui i nā kiʻi i hoʻouna ʻia e kekahi ma ka pūnaewele. ʻO ka mea pupule, ʻaʻohe mea pili i ke kāne, no ka mea, hoʻouna nā kāne a me nā wahine i nā kiʻi e hoʻouna i nā leka hewa inā ʻo kā lākou pahuhopu maoli ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoa maikaʻi.

E nā kāne, he aha kā ʻoukou manaʻo?

ʻOiaʻiʻo, he psychologist wau, akā he kanaka nō wau. Hoʻomaopopo wau i ka makemake e kau i kahi kiʻi hoihoi i laila e huki i nā lā kūpono loa. ʻO ka naʻauao, ka nani, a me ka kūleʻa o ka ʻoihana he mea hoʻololi i ke ao holoʻokoʻa, no laila he mea naʻauao ka wehe ʻana i kāu mau ikaika. ʻO ka haʻaheo kekahi moʻolelo ʻē aʻe.

ʻO ka pahuhopu me kāu mau kiʻi e hōʻike i kou ʻano kanaka. He keiki ʻāhiu ʻoe a ʻoi aʻe paha o ka introvert? He mea hoʻokani haʻuki a i ʻole, he mea makemake kaʻa? He aha kāu mea? No ka laʻana, ʻo ka hoʻouna ʻana i nā kiʻi o ʻoe e ʻauʻau ana, ka mokomoko, a i ʻole ka hāpai ʻana i nā mea kaumaha e haʻi i ka honua makemake ʻoe i ka hana maoli o nā haʻuki a he nani paha ʻoe i ke kino a me ke olakino. Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, ke kau nei i nā kiʻi iā ʻoe iho e loaʻa ana kahi makana a i ʻole kaena ʻana e pili ana i kāu biceps e haʻi i ka honua e mahalo ʻoe i nā hōʻailona maopopo o ka mana a me ka hoʻomaikaʻi. (ʻAʻole au i ʻike iā ʻoe, akā ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ke kanaka mua iaʻu.)

E nā wāhine, ʻo ʻoukou pū kekahi!

Manaʻo wau e hiki iaʻu ke hoʻopiʻi i ka hoʻoholo pili aloha maikaʻi ʻole ma ke kāne hoʻokahi wale nō, no ka mea, ʻo ia hoʻi ka liʻiliʻi o ka poʻe ma waho e hana ana i nā hoʻoholo pili aloha hoʻopau iā lākou iho. Eia nō naʻe, hoʻopuka mau nā wahine i nā kiʻi o lākou iho i pilikia nui. ʻIke ʻoe i ka mea aʻu e kamaʻilio nei: kaikamahine e like me materialistic, kaikamahine as wildly partier, a pēlā aku.

Ma muli o ka piha o ka pāpāho i nā kiʻi hoʻonāukiuki o nā wahine i kēia manawa, pono e makaʻala nā wahine e hoʻouna i kahi kiʻi pūnaewele maikaʻi no lākou iho he akamai, hiki, a ikaika hoʻi. ʻO ka mea ʻē aʻe, ʻike ka hapa nui o nā kāne i nā wahine e like me ia i ʻoi aku ka wela i ka holo lōʻihi. No laila inā he kino nui kou, maikaʻi loa. E hoʻokomo i kekahi kiʻi o ʻoe a me kāu hoaaloha ma kahakai, akā, mai kau ʻoe i ke kiʻi i loko o ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni e hoʻonui i kou umauma a ʻokiʻoki i ka maka o kāu hoaaloha!

He aha ka mea e hoʻonāukiuki ai i ka poʻe e kau i nā kiʻi kūpono ʻole?

Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe kekahi e makemake e like me, e-v-e-r-post kiʻi e nānā ai ʻoe he promiscuous, boozy, a superficial paha, he manaʻo paha kāu e pili ana i ke kumu e hana ai kekahi i kēlā mea. Inā kuhi ʻoe i ka "insecurity," ding, ding! Pololei ʻoe. Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi kālā olakino maoli, ʻo ia hoʻi ua makemake nui ʻoe iā ʻoe iho a ʻaʻohe pilikia i ka maikaʻi mau iā ʻoe iho a i ʻole nā ​​​​mea ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hōʻike i kou ikaika. Me ka hilinaʻi nui, ʻoi aku kou manaʻo nui i kou manaʻo e pili ana iā ʻoe ma mua o ka manaʻo o kekahi e pili ana iā ʻoe, a ʻo kēlā vibe e hoʻowalewale i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe!

I ka hopena o ka lā, maikaʻi loa ke kau ʻana i nā kiʻi o ʻoe iho e hoʻolei iā ʻoe i kahi kukui nani, hoihoi, a leʻaleʻa. Inā ʻaʻole maopopo iā ʻoe nā ʻano e hoʻolaha ai ma o kāu mau kiʻi pūnaewele, e noʻonoʻo i ka mea ʻokoʻa iā ʻoe mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a puni ʻoe. ʻO nā mea ʻē aʻe iā ʻoe-malia paha kēlā ʻano ʻakaʻaka a i ʻole kou nānā ʻana i ka televise maoli-ʻo ia kekahi o kou ʻano, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e wehewehe a hōʻoia paha.

Ke hiki mai i ka paʻi ʻana i nā kiʻi, ʻaʻole e hoʻāʻo nui nei ka mea huna. Mai hopohopo no ka hoʻopili koke ʻana i kekahi i ka wā a lākou i hele mua ai i kāu ʻikepili. Piha ka honua i nā kāne a me nā wahine weliweli, a ʻo ka mea āu e hoʻopau ai e koho iā ʻoe no ka mea ʻo ʻoe kahi pūʻulu-ʻaʻole no kekahi kiʻi lapuwale.

ʻO ka hope loa, ʻo kou ʻano ponoʻī kāu wahi kūʻai maikaʻi loa, no laila e hopu maoli i kāu mau kiʻi. ʻO ka hope, e ʻoluʻolu e mālama i ke ao nei o nā kiʻi o kāu mau kaʻa ʻālohilohi, nā ʻāpana kino, a me nā waihona waihona!

Ua loaʻa i ka psychologist Seth Meyers ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa nui ʻana i ka mālama ʻana i ka lāʻau lapaʻau kāne a ʻo ia ke kumu o Kauka Kauoha a Dr. Seth: Hōʻalo i ka Syndrome Repetition Repetition Syndrome a ʻike i ke aloha āu e pono ai.

Nā mea hou aʻe ma eHarmony:

10 mau ala e hoʻonui ai i kou manaʻo ponoʻī

5 Nīnau Kiʻekiʻe e nīnau i kāu lā pūnaewele

6 Nā kumu e ʻimi ai i ke aloha ma hope o 40 makahiki

Nānā no