Co-Parenting: Ke aʻo ʻana e hana pū, ʻaʻole paha ʻoe e hui pū

Anter

• E ʻike i kahi papa hana e holo pono (no ʻoukou āpau)
• E hoʻomaopopo i nā littles he hui ʻoe
• E hōʻoia pinepine
• Kaʻana like i ka ukana

Ah, co-makua. Hele mai ka huaʻōlelo me ka manaʻo inā he co-makua ʻoe, hoʻokaʻawale a haʻalele ʻia ʻoe. Akā ʻaʻole pono kēlā ʻoiaʻiʻo!

Inā male male hauʻoli ʻoe, male ʻole, a ma kauwahi paha ma waena, inā makua ʻoe me kekahi mea ʻē aʻe, he makua hanauna ʻoe - wā.

ʻO ʻoe ka hapalua o ka hana hana makua no 18+ mau makahiki e hiki mai ana. A eia nō naʻe ke nānā aku kou kūlana (a i ʻole ma ka wā e hiki mai ana), he 50 pākēneka iā ʻoe e hana ia no ka maikaʻi o kāu poʻe liʻiliʻi.

ʻAʻohe puʻe a mea ʻē aʻe paha.

Maliʻa paha e holo ka hapalua o ka hōʻike iā ʻoe, a i ʻole he freak kaohi ʻoe e manaʻoʻiʻo i kou ala a i ʻole ke ala nui. ʻAʻole wau maʻaneʻi e hoʻokolokolo.

Nānā ʻole i kou kaila, he co-makua kahi mākau i hoʻonohonoho ʻia nona iho - hoʻokahi ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomōhala maoli a hiki i kāu mau keiki ponoʻī.

ʻOiaʻiʻo, aia kekahi mau ala e hoʻomākaukau ai no ka makua, e like me ka ulu ʻana i nā gigs pēpē a i ʻole ka mālama ʻana i nā kaikaina. Hiki iā ʻoe ke kiʻi i kahi ʻono liʻiliʻi o ka mea e manaʻo ai.

Akā co-makua? Pono ʻoe i loko me kekahi mea ʻē aʻe kēlā me kēia. ʻokahi. lā. e hoʻomaopopo

A ke noho ʻoe i loko, lilo i aniani moakaka pono ʻoe e loaʻa nā ala e hana ai.

Ua hānau ʻia kāu mau keiki i nā kānaka ʻelua a i ʻole ʻaʻole manaʻo like paha i ka ulu ʻana o kahi keiki. Loaʻa iā ʻoe nā ʻike ʻokoʻa, nā hihiʻo, a me nā mea i manaʻo ʻia no ka mea āu e makemake ai i nā mea e nānā. ʻOi aku ka paʻakikī o nā mea ke ʻaʻole he mau akeakamai makua wale nō, akā ʻokoʻa nā ʻohana ma ke kiʻi.

ʻO ia ka honua co-makua aʻu e noho nei. A ʻoiai hiki ke lilo i mea paʻakikī, e ʻōlelo iki, kuʻu a me kaʻu kāne ma mua a ʻae mau wau i ka mea nui - e hoʻokau i kā mākou mau keikikāne ʻelua ma mua.

A i ko mākou komo ʻana i ke kolu o ko mākou makahiki e ʻimi pū nei i kēia mea āpau, ua loaʻa iaʻu kekahi mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e kaʻana like i ka nānā ʻana o kāu hoʻohiki pilikino.

Eia ka manaʻolana e kōkua lākou i kāu huakaʻi e lilo i hauʻoli, olakino, a me ke kūlike ʻole.

E ʻike i kahi papa hana e holo pono (no ʻoukou āpau)

Inā ʻoe e noho pū ana he 100 pākēneka o ka manawa a i ʻole ʻaʻole paha, hoʻomaka a pili nā mākua a hilinaʻi i ka papa kuhikuhi maikaʻi.

ʻOiaʻiʻo, loaʻa iā ʻoe nā lā a me nā hana o kēlā me kēia lā ma mua o ka hiki ʻana mai o kahi pēpē, no laila e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ke ʻano o lākou, a ʻo nā ʻāpana o lākou āu e makemake nui ai. E hoʻohana i ka intel e hana i kahi papa hana makua a kūpono i kou ola e kū nei, e mālama nei i kāu ʻano a me nā makemake.

Inā hana ia na ʻoe, ʻoi aku paha ka paʻa.

E loli paha kāu papa hoʻonohonoho like mai kēlā kau a kēia kau a me kēlā makahiki a kēia makahiki, akā ʻo ka hoʻokumu ʻana a me ka hoʻokumu hou ʻana i kahi e holo a puni ka pono.

Maliʻa o manaʻo ʻia kekahi o ʻoukou ma ka hana ma mua, a ʻo kekahi ke kuleana no ka haʻalele ʻana i ka ʻaina kakahiaka a me ka mālama pēpē ʻana. Malia paha he ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o kekahi a hiki ke hoʻokele i kēlā mau koho a ke kauka awakea. Makemake paha nā pueo i ka pō e hānai i nā pō, a pēlā aku.

He mea nui ka paʻa no ka hoʻomohala ʻana i nā keiki a me ka maluhia o ka manaʻo o nā mākua ʻelua.

E hoʻomaopopo i nā littles he hui ʻoe

ʻO ka hōʻike ʻana iā ʻoe iho ma ke ʻano he ki i mua loa he kī nui ia i ka honua o ka noho like ʻana.

Hōʻike i kāu poʻe keiki e kamaʻilio, kūkākūkā, a ʻae i nā manawa āpau a hāʻawi ʻia nā hoʻoholo iā ʻolua. E hōʻike iā lākou he hui ʻoe.

E hoʻomaopopo lākou ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke heʻe i kekahi mea ma mua o hoʻokahi makua me ka ʻike ʻole o kekahi - a i ʻole ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi - e hoʻāʻo a hoʻolei iā ʻoe i kekahi i kekahi.

Hele me ka ʻōlelo ʻole e pili ana nā kiko a me nā kūlike ʻole ma ke ala, e like me nā pilina. Akā e hana iā lākou ma hope o nā hanana, ma waho o ka earhot, a me ka hoʻopili ʻole ʻana i kāu poʻe keiki i kēlā me kēia makahiki.

ʻO ka nui o kā lākou hele mai e ʻike a mahalo iā ʻoe i ke kua o kekahi, ʻo ka maʻalahi o ke ala co-makua no nā mea āpau.

E hōʻoia pinepine

ʻOiai ma lalo o ka hale like, he mea nui e kiʻi i mua me kou hoa makua me ka pinepine. Mai nā wā hānau hou a ma hope, ua piha nā lā a me ka nui o ka hana, e ʻōlelo iki.

Hoʻololi mau nā mea, mai nā ʻano i nā pae, nā makemake, nā milestones, a me nā mea āpau ma waena. No laila ke ʻōlelo wau e hopu, pili pū kēlā ... maikaʻi… ma nā mea āpau āu e noʻonoʻo ai.

Ua kuha anei ka pēpē ma mua o ka maʻamau? Ua hopohopo nui paha kāu keiki i ka haʻalele? Pehea kou manaʻo o kou hoahānau, a aia kekahi mau mea hoʻohoka a i ʻole nā ​​nānā ʻana āu e kaʻana nei?

E hoʻomanaʻo e ʻike wale ana ʻoe i ka hapalua o kēia. E hōʻike iā ʻoe iho, a mākaukau hoʻi e hoʻolohe. E ʻike ʻoe i ka ʻoi loa inā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o nā waihona i hoʻopaʻa ʻia i hoʻopaʻa ʻia a i ʻole impromptu. Heck, hiki i kahi huaʻōlelo wikiwiki ke hana i ka maʻa ma kahi kui.

ʻO kēlā me kēia ʻano o kāu nānā ʻana, e hōʻoia inā hiki - no nā mea āpau.

Kaʻana like i ka ukana

ʻAe, hiki ke paʻakikī ke lilo i makua makua, akā he pōmaikaʻi nui nō hoʻi ia i ka mea hana pū o kāu mau keiki e makemake e lawe i kahi hana nui a koʻikoʻi i ko lākou ola.

ʻAʻole hiki i kekahi ke hoʻomaopopo i ke ʻano o ka makua o kāu mau keiki koe wale no kou makua ʻākala. ʻOiai i nā lā paʻakikī loa, nā lā nāukiuki loa, e hoʻomanaʻo i kēlā!

ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi mākua kūpaʻa ka manawa kūpono e kaʻana like i ka huakaʻi - a me nā kuleana.

Loaʻa nā kauka a me nā koho niho. Nā Extracurriculars. Holoi lole. Nā meaʻai Nā Lapaʻau. Nā pāʻina lā hānau. Mālama lā. Kula Kamaliʻi. Kula maʻamau. Nā lā maʻi.

ʻAʻole pau ka papa inoa o nā kuleana, a ʻoiai hauʻoli mākou e hana, ʻaʻohe mea kānalua he mea kupanaha ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kōkua. E hilinaʻi kekahi me kekahi e hoʻopau i nā mea āpau a lilo ia i mea maʻalahi no ʻolua.

He mea kākau kākau ʻo Kate Brierley, freelancer, a makuahine makuahine keiki na Henry a me Ollie. ʻO ka mea lanakila ma ka Rhode Island Press Association Editorial Award, ua loaʻa iā ia kahi kekelē laepua i ka journalism a me kahi haku ma ka waihona puke a me nā ʻike ʻike mai ke Kulanui o Rhode Island. Makemake ʻo ia i nā holoholona hoʻopakele, nā lā kahakai ʻohana, a me nā memo kākau lima.