Pono nā wāhine e male?

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Inā ʻoe e hilinaʻi a ʻaʻole paha, makemake ka hapa nui o nā wahine i ke kāne. No laila ke loaʻa ʻoe iā ia a lilo i wahine nāna, e manaʻo paha ʻoe ʻaʻole hiki ke ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kou ola (a i ʻole ka ʻāpana aloha) a hiki i kou ʻike ʻana i kahi mea i nalowale: kou libido.

Wahi a kahi aʻo liʻiliʻi o nā wahine male i paʻi ʻia ma ʻO ka puke pai o ka moekolohe a me ka male male, mālama ka wahine i ka hoihoi wahine ma mua o ka hana a kā lākou kāne. [Tweet i kēia ʻoiaʻiʻo!] A ma kahi o 9 pakeneka o nā wahine 18 a 44 e hōʻike nei i ke kaumaha no ko lākou makemake haʻahaʻa, ʻike ʻia ka noiʻi 2008. Ma mua o kou hopohopo, e hoʻolohe i ka manaʻo o ka poʻe akamai e hoʻopilikia ana i ka Mrs.

Ua loli ka mea a nā wahine e makemake ai. ʻAʻole ka matrimony hemolele ka mea ma mua. ʻO ka kuanaʻike o ka wahine o ka hui maikaʻi maikaʻi a paʻakikī hoʻi ma mua o ka wā mau, a i kekahi mau manawa, ka palena o ka mea kūpono ʻole. Psychotherapist a me Ka hoʻopaʻa pio ʻana ʻO ka mea kākau ʻo Esther Perel i hōʻuluʻulu maikaʻi loa iā ia i loko o kāna ʻōlelo kaulana loa ʻo TED Talk, "ʻO ka mea huna e makemake ai i kahi pilina lōʻihi":

"ʻO ka male ʻana he ʻoihana waiwai kahi i hāʻawi ʻia ai ʻoe i kahi hui no ke ola e pili ana i nā keiki, ke kūlana pili kanaka, ka holomua, a me ka pilina. kauhale i hoʻohana ʻia e hoʻolako ai: ka noho ʻana, ka ʻike, ka hoʻomau ʻana, transcendence, pohihihi, weliweli, hōʻoluʻolu, kaʻe, ka mea hou, ka kamaʻāina, ka wānana, a kahaha i nā mea āpau i hoʻokahi. " ʻO ia wale nō?

ʻO ka ʻōlelo ʻana "I do" kahi mea pepehi kanaka nui. ʻOiai inā ua loaʻa iā ʻoe kou hoa ʻuhane, he ʻoiaʻiʻo wale nō e pau ka manaʻo aloha. "ʻO ka lolo ka wahi erogenous nui loa no nā wahine, a ke mare ʻoe, ʻaʻole i laila ka hoʻoulu ʻana o ka lolo āu i loaʻa ai ma mua no ka mea ua hui pū ʻoe i nā manawa āpau a ʻaʻohe mea pohihihi i koe - ua hala ka manaʻo noʻonoʻo āu e pono ai. , "wahi a ka psychologist psychologist ʻo Belisa Vranich, Psy.D., he lālā aʻoaʻo aʻoaʻo SHAPE. ʻO ia hoʻi, me ka hauʻoli ʻole, ʻaʻole hiki i nā wahine ke hauʻoli.

ʻAʻole kōkua ia i ka ʻoluʻolu o nā kāne i ka pilina ma mua o ka hana ʻana o nā wahine, no laila ʻoiai ʻoe e hui pū me ʻoe iho no ka lā ʻaina ahiahi, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hoʻololi i kona pālule. "He mea nui e noho nani kekahi i kekahi," wahi a Vranich. A no ka loaʻa ʻole o nā koʻikoʻi like ʻole o nā kāne e hoʻomau i ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana a me ka maikaʻi, hiki i kēia ʻoki ke lilo i mea hoʻohuli maoli.

ʻOi aku ka palekana ma mua o ka moekolohe. No laila, no ke aha e pili lōʻihi ai nā wahine ma hope o ka loaʻa ʻana o ka vanilla? "Hoʻokumu ʻia ka male ma ka hōʻoluʻolu, ka wānana, a me ka palekana," i wehewehe ai ʻo Vranich, "he mea kupanaha ia no ke ola o kēlā me kēia lā a me ka hoʻopili ʻana, akā naʻe, make kēia i ka makemake, kahi e pono ai ka hana hilahila ʻole, a me ka hoʻomākeʻaka ʻana." Eia naʻe no ka mea pono nui mākou i ka palekana ma mua o ka moekolohe, hauʻoli maoli kekahi mau wahine me ka pili wahine i hoʻonele ʻia (a i ʻole ka wahine ʻole), hoʻohui ʻo ia.

E hele maʻalahi nā kāne. E like me kāu i ʻike ai, puka mai ka makemake mai kekahi poʻo i nā wahine a ʻo kekahi (ma ka hema) i nā kāne. Hiki ke hoʻokō ʻia kāna mau pono me kahi puʻupuʻu pōkole wale nō, akā ʻo ka hoʻoliʻiliʻi iki no ʻoe hiki ke manaʻo he O kahi no-go. "ʻO nā mea āpau mai ka huhū ʻana i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i kahi mea āu i poina e hana i kou mau wāwae ke anuanu hiki ke pale iā ʻoe mai ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi orgasm," wahi a Vranich. Inā ʻaʻole manaʻo kāu pakanā i ka climaxing ma ke ʻano he a kāna mea, hoʻonāukiuki pinepine ka moekolohe a ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana.

ʻOi aku ka wela o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana… Ma mua o kou kālepa ʻana i kou mau kāmaʻa kinky no nā kāmaʻa kāmaʻa hale, e kiʻi i kēia: Ma kahi ana a Match.com a me ke aʻoaʻo ʻepekema o ka pūnaewele ʻo Helen Fisher, Ph.D., ʻoi aku ka pākēneka kiʻekiʻe o nā mākua i ʻōlelo ʻia ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka moekolohe ma ka pilina male ʻole me kahi lōʻihi. -manawa, hoa noho."ʻO ka hiki ke haʻihaʻi, pono ʻolua e noho ma luna o kāu pāʻani, ʻoiai he mea liʻiliʻi wale nō. Pono ʻoe e hana pono e mālama i ka manawa a me ka leʻaleʻa, "wahi a Vranich, ka mea i loaʻa i kāna hana ponoʻī a me kāna noiʻi. e hoʻopunipuni ka poʻe ma ka liʻiliʻi inā ʻaʻole lākou i laka ʻia. [Tweet i kēia!]

… A i ʻole ʻōlelo "Hana wau," no ka ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a me ka maikaʻi ʻole. ʻOiai inā ʻaʻohe ou climaxes manamana wāwae i kēlā me kēia pō, hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa me kāu hauʻoli ma hope. "I ka makahiki i hala, ua hana mākou i kahi noiʻi me 1,000 mau kāne male, a ua pūʻiwa wau i ka ʻike ʻana he 80 pākēneka i ʻōlelo e mare hou lākou i kā lākou wahine i kēia manawa," wahi a Fisher, he anthropologist meaola. Kanahikukūmālika pākēneka i hōʻike ua aloha mau lākou i ke aloha me kā lākou hoapili-a ua hui pū kekahi ma mua o 25 mau makahiki.

I mea e hoʻopau ai, pono ʻoe e hōʻoia e hoʻopaʻa ʻia ana ʻoe no nā kumu kūpono a ʻaʻole e hoʻōki i ka hoʻokomo ʻana i kekahi i kekahi. "He mea nui ka ʻike ʻana o kekahi i kekahi ma ke ʻano he kūʻokoʻa hoihoi kanaka āu e makemake maoli ai ʻaʻole wale aloha," wahi a Vranich. ʻO kahi ʻano liʻiliʻi-i loko a ma waho o kahi moe-ʻaʻole loa e ʻeha. "Hoʻoikaika ka mea hou i ka ʻōnaehana dopamine i ka lolo, ka mea e hoʻoulu ai i ka ʻōnaehana testosterone a hiki ke hoʻoulu i ka makemake wahine," i ʻōlelo ʻo Fisher.

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