3 mau ala e ʻike ai inā ʻo ia ka hana maoli

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Ke hui mua ʻoe i kahi kāne a i hele wale paha i kekahi mau lā me ia, hiki ke paʻakikī ke haʻi inā he kanaka maikaʻi maoli ʻo ia-a i ʻole e hana like a hiki i kona hōʻike ʻana iā ʻoe ʻo wai ʻo ia. ʻAe, mai makaʻu, no ka mea, aia kekahi mau ʻano e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo inā ʻo ia ka hana maoli.

No laila he aha nā ʻano hope loa o ke kanaka maikaʻi? He ʻoiaʻiʻo, lokomaikaʻi, a hilinaʻi. Inā loaʻa kēia mau ʻano ʻekolu i ke kanaka, e kūleʻa ana ʻo ia ma kēlā me kēia wahi i kūkākūkā ʻia ma lalo nei. E akahele a akahele hoʻi e pili ana i ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana iā ia i loko o kou ola a me kou puʻuwai e ʻae iā ʻoe e mālama i nā kāne maikaʻi ʻole, e waiho ana i kahi no nā kāne maikaʻi i kūpono i kahi manawa maoli.

1. Moolelo hana. ʻO nā lima i lalo, ʻo kekahi o nā mea nui i ka hoʻoholo ʻana i ka maikaʻi a me ke ʻano o ke kanaka e pili ana i kāna mōʻaukala hana. Inā makemake ʻoe i kahi wā aloha me ka hana keaka ʻole, e hoʻomaka me kahi kāne i loaʻa kahi hana a ʻike pehea e hoʻopaʻa ai iā ia. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka hele ʻana i ke kula haʻahaʻa, puka, a i ʻole ʻoihana-hiki ke helu ʻia ma ke ʻano he hana, no ka mea, e hōʻike ana ua kūpaʻa ʻo ia i ka hoʻonaʻauao ʻana a loaʻa i kahi hana kūpono iā ia. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻohe hana o kekahi mau kāne ma muli o ka haʻahaʻa o ka hoʻokele waiwai, no laila, mai hoʻopaʻa ʻoe iā lākou. ʻO ka mea āu e makemake ai e ʻike me ia mau kāne, akā, ka hoʻomau ʻana i ka ʻimi ʻana i kekahi. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e paʻakikī i kou ola ma ka mālama ʻana a me ka hoʻolako ʻana i kahi kāne makua!

Nā nīnau e nīnau ai: Nui nā kāne inaina i ka nīnau hana ("He aha kāu hana no ke ola?"), No ka mea hopohopo lākou e hoʻāʻo nei nā wahine e ʻike i ka nui o kā lākou kālā e loaʻa ai. Ma mua o ka nīnau iā ia i kāna hana no ke ola, e nīnau iā ia inā makemake ʻo ia i kāna hana a i ʻole ua lōʻihi ʻo ia ma ka hana hoʻokahi. E noʻonoʻo inā makemake ʻo ia i kāna hana a noho maikaʻi me kāna mau hoa hana. E nīnau iā ia pehea kāna hopena i kāna hana a i hoʻomohala paha i ka hoihoi i kāna laina o ka hana. ʻO ke kanaka paʻa i ka hana, paʻa pinepine ia i ke koena o kona ola.

2. Ka pilina me kona ʻohana. Kuhi hewa ka hapa nui o ka poʻe he pilina maikaʻi ko ke kāne maikaʻi me kona mau mākua a me kona mau kaikaina, akā he aha ka hana inā he mau hua liʻiliʻi kona mau mākua a me / a mau kaikaina paha, a ua hoʻoholo ʻo ia e hoʻokaʻawale iki iā lākou e mālama i kona noʻonoʻo ponoʻī? ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, he paʻakikī ka hoʻoikaika ʻana o ka ʻohana, no laila, mai hoʻohewa koke iā ia e kona pilina me kona ʻohana.

Nā nīnau e nīnau ai: E nīnau, "He aha kou pilina me kou makuahine a me kou makua kāne?" aiʻole "Ehia mau manawa e hui pū ai?" Inā he lā hoʻomaha e hiki mai ana, e nīnau inā ke koho nei ʻo ia e hoʻolimalima me ka ʻohana lōʻihi. Inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia, e nīnau iā ia no ke aha a hoʻolohe pono i kāna pane. Makemake ʻoe e ʻike i ka manaʻo o ke kāne i kona mau mākua a me kona mau kaikaina, a ke hoʻoikaika nei ʻo ia e hoʻomau a hoʻomaikaʻi paha i kēlā mau pilina. ʻO ka hoʻoholo ʻana i ke kāne ma kāna pilina me kona ʻohana kumu - ʻaʻole i nā manawa a pau-ʻo ia ke ana maikaʻi o ke ʻano o ke kanaka.

3. Nā pilina me nā hoaaloha. ʻO nā hoaaloha a ke kanaka e koho ai i loko o kona ola e haʻi nui iā ʻoe e pili ana iā ia. Eia kekahi, ʻo nā ʻano hana āna i hana ai me nā hoaaloha e ʻōlelo hou aku iā ia. ʻO kahi laʻana, makemake paha ʻo ia e kau i ka pā haʻuki me kāna mau hoa aloha, a i ʻole makemake ʻo ia i kahi pāʻani o ka tennis ma ka pā kūloko? He kanaka makemake paha ia e launa pū me hoʻokahi a ʻelua paha mau hoaaloha, a makemake paha ʻo ia i ka hana a nā hui nui e hāʻawi i ka hoʻoulu ʻana?

Nā nīnau e nīnau ai: E nīnau, "Ehia mau lā o kēlā me kēia pule āu e makemake ai e hui pū me kāu poʻe hoa?" ʻO ka paipai ʻana iā ia ma kēia ʻano ("Ehia lā…") ma mua o ka mea maʻamau ("Makemake ʻoe e launa pū me kāu mau hoaaloha?") e loaʻa ai ka pane pololei. Hiki iā ʻoe ke nīnau iā ia i kāna hana a me kāna mau hoa ke hui pū lākou. ʻO ka mea hope loa, ʻo kahi ana nui o kahi kāne maikaʻi ke loaʻa nei nā hoaaloha a me ka hāpai ʻana i kēlā mau hoaaloha no nā makahiki he nui. E nīnau, "Ma hea ʻoe i ʻike ai iā [insert name] mai? Ke kamaʻilio mau nei ʻoe me nā poʻe mai ke kula kiʻekiʻe?" E kamaʻilio mau ke kanaka maikaʻi me hoʻokahi hoaaloha maikaʻi mai ke kula kiʻekiʻe, no ka mea, kūpaʻa a kūpaʻa nā kāne maikaʻi i ka poʻe a lākou e mālama ai.

Inā makemake ʻoe i nā hoa aloha o kāu kāne hou, neʻe; inā ʻaʻole ʻoe, e noʻonoʻo pono e hoʻopau i ka pilina. ʻO ka noʻonoʻo ʻana inā he kanaka maikaʻi maoli ke kanaka a i ʻole ka mea i ʻōlelo ʻo ia ʻaʻole ia he hana maʻalahi. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, pono ke kamaʻilio me kahi kāne i kahi manawa lōʻihi e hoʻoholo ai ʻo wai ʻo ia a inā he kūlike maikaʻi ʻo ia iā ʻoe. Akā ʻo ka nānā ʻana i nā wahi ʻekolu ma luna e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i kahi hoʻomaka maikaʻi. I kou ʻike ʻana iā ia, e kamaʻilio e pili ana iā ia i kou mau hoaaloha i hiki iā ʻoe ke lohe i kā lākou manaʻo. I kekahi manawa hana nā hoa aloha i nā kaʻi hui aloha ʻoi loa!

Nā mea hou aʻe ma eHarmony:

No ke aha e koho ai ke kāne i wahine ʻē aʻe ma mua o kekahi

Pehea e hoʻohana ai i kou lolo e ʻimi ai i ke aloha mau a me ka hauʻoli

ʻO Marie Forleo ma Pehea e makemake ai kēlā me kēia kāne iā ʻoe

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