Nā Mākua Aloha, ʻO ka hopohopo i nā keiki kahi pilikia nui

Anter

• Noho hou nā keiki me ka pīhoihoi i kēia lā?
• No ke aha e pīhoihoi ai nā keiki?
• Kōkua i kāu keiki e kū i ka maʻi kūpilikiʻi
• Kōkua me ka hopohopo
  

ʻO Holly *, he luna hoʻolei ma Austin, Texas, ua loaʻa kahi kaumaha hope hānau me kāna keiki mua, ʻo Fiona, i kēia manawa he 5 mau makahiki. I kēia lā, lawe ʻo Holly i ka lāʻau e hoʻomalu i kona hopohopo a me ke kaumaha. Akā hopohopo nō ʻo ia e pili paha ka hopohopo i kāna kaikamahine - a kāna keiki, i kēia manawa 3.

Hōʻike ʻo Holly hiki iā Fiona ke hilahila a paʻa. "ʻAʻole au i maopopo inā he hana maʻamau kēlā a i ʻole kekahi mea ʻē aʻe," wahi a Holly.

A laila, aia kahi i kapa ʻia ʻo Holly "kahi hanana." I kekahi mau pule i ke kula kamaliʻi i kēia makahiki, ua ʻeha ʻo Fiona ma ke kahua pāʻani ma ka wā hoʻomaha a ua hoʻouna ʻia i ke kahu.

"Manaʻo wau he hoʻokahi wale nō ʻo ia, a laila ʻaʻole i ʻae ʻia e hoʻi i ka hoʻomaha," hoʻomanaʻo ʻo Holly. "Manaʻo wau ua manaʻo nui ʻo ia i waho o ka kaohi, a laila hōʻike ʻia e like me, 'ʻAʻole wau makemake i ka kahu hānai.' A laila ʻaʻole ʻo ia makemake e hele i ke kula, a hoʻomaka i ka hoʻi hou ʻana i nā wahi he nui. ʻAʻole ʻo ia makemake hou e hele i ka papa kuke, a laila papa hula. I kēlā me kēia lā, lilo ka hele i ke kula i hoʻomāinoino, uē ʻana, uē. Ua liuliu ka manawa e hōʻoluʻolu iā ia, "wehewehe ʻo ia.

Ua kamaʻilio ʻo Holly a me kāna kāne i ke kumu a Fiona a me ke kahu. Akā ma hope o kekahi mau pule ʻelua, ua ʻae ʻo Holly ʻaʻohe ona pono hana e hoʻoponopono ai i kēia kūlana. Lawe ʻo ia iā Fiona i kāna kauka kauka, nāna i nīnau i ke keiki i kekahi mau nīnau. A laila aʻo aku kāna pediatrician i kona makuahine: "He mau pilikia hopohopo kāna."

Ua hāʻawi ʻo Holly i kahi mea hāʻawi i kahi mea hoʻoponopono a hoʻomaka ʻo ia e lawe iā Fiona i nā kipa hebedoma. "Kupanaha ka mea hoʻoponopono me kā mākou kaikamahine, a maikaʻi ʻo ia me aʻu. Ua hāʻawi ʻo ia iaʻu i nā pono hana e kōkua e kamaʻilio me kaʻu kaikamahine a kōkua iaʻu e hoʻomaopopo i ka mea e hana nei, "wahi a Hollys. Ua hoʻomau ʻo Holly lāua ʻo Fiona e ʻike i ka mea lapaʻau no ʻekolu mau mahina, a ua hoʻomaikaʻi hou ʻo Fiona me kona hopohopo, i ʻōlelo ʻo Holly.

Ke noʻonoʻo nei i kāna olakino noʻonoʻo kamaliʻi ponoʻī, hoʻomanaʻo ʻo Holly, "Ua inaina wau i ke kula kamaliʻi. Ua uē wau a uē a uwē, a ʻo kekahi o kaʻu mau mea kupanaha, He aha kaʻu i hana ai e hana i kēia? Ua hānau ʻia ʻo ia i kēia ala a i ʻole hana pupule paha wau iā ia? ”

Noho hou nā keiki me ka pīhoihoi i kēia lā?

ʻAʻole wale ʻo Holly. Ua ninaninau wau i kekahi mau mākua i noho me ka hopohopo, nā keiki hoʻi i hōʻike i nā ʻano hopohopo.

Hoʻoholo nui ʻia ka pīhoihoi i nā keiki i kēia manawa ma mua o ka hanauna i hala, wahi a ka mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻohana ma Los Angeles, ʻo Wesley Stahler. Hoʻohui ʻo ia aia he nui nā ʻano like ʻole e stoking ana iā ia, me nā genetics. "Hele pinepine nā mākua a hoʻopiʻi iā lākou iho no ka mea genetic," wahi a Stahler. Akā i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku nā mea i ka pāʻani. "Aia kahi moʻaukala, hoʻohālikelike ʻia i ka wā kamaliʻi," wehewehe ʻo ia.

Hoʻohui i ka haunaele ma luna o ka māhele politika ma mua a ma hope o ke koho ʻana, a me ka hopohopo i kēia lā ua lilo ia i pilikia nui ʻohana. ʻO ka mea nui i ʻike ʻia ʻo nā maʻi pīhoihoi ka maʻi maʻi maʻamau i United States.

Hoʻomaopopo ʻia ka pīhoihoi me ka hiki ʻole ke hoʻomanawanui i ka hōʻoluʻolu ʻole, wehewehe ʻo Stahler, a me ka ʻike ʻana i nā mea ʻaʻole kahi hoʻoweliweli maoli i mea hoʻoweliweli. Pākuʻi ʻo Stahler he 1 mai 8 mau keiki a he 1 i ka 4 mau mākua i hopohopo. Hōʻike ka pīhoihoi i nā ʻano physiological a me psychological, e like me ka ʻōpū o ka ʻōpū, ka nahu ʻana o nā kui, ka maʻalahi ʻole, a me ka paʻakikī me nā hoʻololi.

ʻIke ka poʻe i kahi pane hakakā a i ʻole lele i ka hoʻoweliweli i ʻike ʻia. Kuhi pinepine ʻia ka hopohopo i nā keiki ma ke ʻano he deficit noonoo, i ʻōlelo ʻo Stahler, hiki ke like me nā keiki hiki ʻole ke noho mālie. Spinner spinner, ʻo wai?

Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Rachel *, he kumu ma ka papa ʻehā o Los Angeles, ua ʻike maka ʻo ia i kahi piʻi nui o ka hopohopo a me ke koʻikoʻi ma waena o kāna mau haumāna i nā makahiki ʻelima i hala.

ʻO ka hopena, ua hoʻololi maoli ʻo Rachel i kāna huaʻōlelo a me nā hoʻolālā no ka hana ʻana me nā ʻohana.

"I ka wā ma mua, ua hoʻohana wau i nā huaʻōlelo e like me ka hopohopo, hopohopo, pīhoihoi e wehewehe i ke ʻano o ke kahakaha ʻana o kahi keiki i loko o ka lumi papa ma luna o kā lākou papa a i ʻole ko lākou ʻike i ka nānā ʻana o haʻi iā lākou. I kēia manawa, lawe ʻia ka huaʻōlelo hopohopo i ke kamaʻilio e ka makua. Hōʻike nā mākua i kā lākou keiki uē ʻana, no nā lā, i kekahi manawa, a i ʻole hōʻole e komo, a i ʻole hiki ʻole ke hiamoe, "wehewehe ʻo Rachel.

Ua ʻike ʻo Genevieve Rosenbaum psychologist psychologist ma Brooklyn i ka hoʻonui ʻana o ka hopohopo i waena o kāna mea kūʻai aku i nā makahiki kekahi. I ka makahiki i hala, ua hōʻike ʻo ia, "Ihad ʻelima mau kula waena, nā mea āpau i ka lālani āpau, nā mea āpau i hopohopo e pili ana i ke kula. Loaʻa iā lākou āpau ka nui makaʻu ʻole e pili ana i ka noi ʻana i ke kula kiʻekiʻe. Kupanaha maoli nō ia. Me he mea lā ua ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o koʻu hoʻomaka ʻana e hoʻomaʻamaʻa. ”

No ke aha e pīhoihoi ai nā keiki?

ʻO nā kumu mua o ka hopohopo, i ʻōlelo ʻo Stahler, he ʻelua: ke kaula uila a me ka makua. E waiho maʻalahi, ua hoʻopaʻa ʻia kekahi lolo me ka hopohopo ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO ka mea pili makua, aia ke ʻano genetical.

Hele hou ka pīhoihoi a hiki i ʻekolu mau hanauna, i ʻōlelo ʻo Stahler, a laila aia nā mākua hoʻohālikelike e hōʻike nei no kā lākou poʻe keiki, e like me ka hoʻohana obsessive o ka hoʻomaʻemaʻe lima a i ʻole ka preoccupation me nā g germ.

Hoʻohui, mahalo i ka hoʻonui ʻia o ka "keiki tiger a me ka hoʻonui manawa, nā keiki i kēia lā ua liʻiliʻi ka manawa no ka pāʻani - a pēlā e hana ai nā keiki i nā mea," wahi a Stahler.

ʻO Ann, he kākā'ōlelo hui ma Portland, Oregon, nona ka makahiki he 10 me ka hopohopo e pili ana i ke kauka a me nā kauka niho a me kahi makahiki 7 me ka hopohopo kaiāulu, ua hoʻāʻo e hoʻoliʻiliʻi i ka hoʻouna ʻana i kāna mau keiki iā Waldorf Kula, me ka pāpāho palena ʻia a me ka manawa kūpono i waena o nā kumulāʻau.

"ʻAʻole lawa ka manawa o nā keiki ma ke kūlohelohe. Ke hoʻolilo nei lākou i ka manawa nui i nā hāmeʻa, kahi e hoʻololi ai i ka hanana o ka lolo, a ʻo ko mākou ao i kēia lā ka pauma mau o ka ʻike, "wahi a Ann. "ʻAʻohe ala e hiki ai i kahi keiki maʻalahi ke hoʻokele i nā mea āpau e hiki mai ana iā lākou i nā manawa āpau."

He moʻolelo ko Ann no ka weliweli weliweli a hele mai ia mai kahi "laina lōʻihi o nā poʻe koʻikoʻi," wehewehe ʻo ia. Hana nui ʻo ia i kāna hana hopohopo - nāna i kōkua iā ia e hoʻokele i kāna mau keiki.

"I ka wā kamaliʻi, ʻaʻohe ʻōlelo e pili ana i kēia," wahi a Ann. Ua hoʻomaka ʻo ia, a mālama, i kēlā kamaʻilio me kāna mau keiki e hōʻoia i ko lākou makaʻu a kōkua i ka hoʻopau ʻana iā lākou. "ʻIke wau kōkua ia i kaʻu keiki e ʻike ʻaʻole ʻo ia wale, ke ʻike nei ʻo ia i kahi hanana kino maoli [i ka wā hopohopo]. No ia, maikaʻi kēlā, "i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Lauren, kahi loiloi ʻano ma Los Angeles, ua ʻimi a loaʻa iā ia nā kōkua ʻoihana no kāna keiki he 10 ona makahiki, ka mea e hopohopo nei. Ma 3, ua loaʻa iā ia kahi hōʻailona o ke ʻano o ka pae autism. Wahi a ia, me ka nānā ʻole i nā kumu o ka nohona, ua loaʻa mau kāna keiki i kēlā ʻike. Akā i kekahi manawa i ka mōʻaukala, ʻaʻole i loaʻa iā ia ke kōkua like e pono ai.

E like me Ann, wehewehe ʻo Lauren ua maʻalahi mau ʻo ia. "ʻO ka hopena o koʻu ʻohana he maʻa mau ia, ma laila ʻo ia e hele nei, overreacting hou! Ua hoʻomaopopo lākou mai kēia mea paʻakikī kēia, "i ʻōlelo ʻo ia.

Ma hope o ka makahiki i hala me kahi kumu aʻo loea hou ʻole "loiloi loa i kaʻu keiki" - ua hoʻohana ʻo ia i kahi manawa kūpono ma ke keʻena o ke poʻo kula ma hope o ka hūnā pinepine ʻana ma lalo o kāna pākaukau - ua hoʻohana ka ʻohana a Lauren i nā ʻano hana kuʻuna a me nā ʻano therapies ʻē aʻe, me neurofeedback a me ka noʻonoʻo a me nā loli dietary. Ua hoʻomaikaʻi maikaʻi ʻia kāna keiki i kēia makahiki.

"ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke hoʻolilo i kaʻu keiki i ke anuanu, akā hiki iaʻu ke aʻo iā ia i nā ʻano hana," wahi a Lauren. I kekahi lā o kēia makahiki i ka lilo ʻana o kāna ʻeke a kāna keiki, hoʻomanaʻo ʻo Lauren ʻo ia "me he mea lā ua haʻi aku wau ua make kona ʻohana holoʻokoʻa. Ua haʻi wau iā ia hiki iā mākou ke hele i Target a kiʻi iā ia i kahi hou, akā ua hopohopo ʻo ia i ke kino. ʻO ka hope, ua hele ʻo ia i loko o kona keʻena, hoʻokani i kāna mele punahele ma ke kamepiula, a puka i waho a ʻōlelo, 'Māmā, ua maikaʻi iki aʻe wau i kēia manawa.' "ʻO ia ka mua, e ʻōlelo ana ʻo Lauren. A lanakila.

Kōkua i kāu keiki e kū i ka maʻi kūpilikiʻi

Ma hope o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana he ʻokoʻa nā pilikia o nā ʻohana, ua ʻōlelo ʻo Stahler aia kekahi mau pono hana maʻalahi i paipai aku no nā mākua nāna nā keiki e hōʻike i nā hōʻailona a i ʻole ua loaʻa ka hōʻailona o ka maʻi pīhoihoi.

Kōkua me ka hopohopo

• E hana i nā hana i kēlā me kēia lā kahi e ʻike ai i ka ikaika o kāu mau keiki.
• E ʻike i ke koa a hōʻoia he maikaʻi ka makaʻu a hana i kekahi mea.
• Hōʻoia hou i kāu mau ʻohana waiwai. ʻO kahi laʻana, "I kēia ʻohana, hoʻāʻo mākou i kahi mea hou i kēlā me kēia lā."
• E ʻike i ka manawa e hoʻomaha ai i kēlā me kēia lā. Kuke, heluhelu, a pāʻani paha i kahi pāʻani papa. Mai komo i ka manawa pale.
• Hoʻomaʻamaʻa pinepine; Koi ʻo Stahler i nā minuke 20 o ka cardst nonstop hiki ke hoʻomaikaʻi i kou ʻano.
• E ʻimi i ke kōkua ʻoihana ke pono me kahi mea hiki ke kūkākūkā inā he kūpono paha kāu lāʻau no kāu keiki.

No ke kōkua hou aku e pili ana i ka hopohopo a me ke kaumaha, e kipa aku i ka Anxiance and Depression Association o ʻAmelika. E ʻimi mau i ke kōkua ʻoihana ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana i nā hoʻolālā lapaʻau.

* Ua hoʻololi ʻia nā inoa e pale ai i ka pilikino o nā mea hāʻawi.

ʻO Liz Wallace kahi mea kākau a mea hoʻoponopono ma Brooklyn i hoʻopuka ʻia ma Ke Atlantika, Lenny, Domino, Architectural Digest, a me ManRepeller. Loaʻa nā pāhaʻi ma elizabethannwallace.wordpress.com.