He maikaʻi ʻole paha ia iā Google i kāu Pili ʻApili ma mua o kahi lā?

Anter

• ʻO ka papa, ʻAʻohe pane honua
• ʻO ke keu pono nui o ka huli wikiwiki: palekana
• Hiki iā ia ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻike i nā incompatibility ākea
• Akā aia kahi Zero pono i ka Over-Sleuthing
• E hoʻomanaʻo: ʻAʻole e haʻi aku kāu ʻimi i ka moʻolelo holoʻokoʻa
• Nānā no

Ma mua o kou hālāwai ʻana me kekahi kanaka mai kahi polokalamu pili, ke Google anei ʻoe i ka bejesus ola mai loko mai o lākou? A i ʻole e nānā i kā lākou mau lima pili, e kanikau ana i nā pāʻani i hoʻonohonoho ponoʻī iā lākou? Inā ʻae, ʻo ʻoe ka hapa nui. Wahi a kahi nānā a Statista, 55 pākēneka o ka poʻe i lawe i ko lākou inoa pili i ka pā hulina ma mua o ka hālāwai ʻana me IRL, ʻoiai he 60 pākēneka e ʻōwili i kā lākou mau pili. ʻO 23 pakeneka wale nō o ka poʻe i noiʻi ʻia e ʻōlelo ʻaʻole lākou e sleuth.

Akā e like me ka hoʻomaʻemaʻe ʻana o ka vape, ka aila niu, a me ka hoʻomaʻemaʻe ʻana i ka lanahu, no ka mea, ʻaʻole pono ka maikaʻi o kekahi mea maʻamau. Inā ʻoe e haʻohaʻo inā pono ʻoe e hāhai i ka lehulehu i kēia hihia, ua hele mai ʻoe i kahi kūpono. Ma lalo, ʻekolu mau loea pili pili e kamaʻilio i nā pōmaikaʻi a me nā maikaʻi ʻole o ke aʻo ʻana e pili ana i kāu lā ma o URL ma mua o ka hālāwai ʻana iā lākou IRL.

ʻO ka papa, ʻAʻohe pane honua

E like me ka hapa nui o ka moe kolohe a me ka pili ʻana, ʻo ka pane i "Pono au e Google i kaʻu pāʻani?" ʻaʻole ia he ʻae ākea a ʻaʻole paha. He pololei ʻole ke ʻōlelo ʻana he maikaʻi ʻole a maikaʻi mau paha ʻo Googling, wahi a Jesse Kahn, LCSW-R, alakaʻi a me nā mea hoʻoponopono moekolohe ma ke Keʻena Hana Hana Hana Hana wahine a me ke kāne ma NYC. "ʻO ka mea nui ma aneʻi kou kumu hoʻoikaika," wahi a lākou. ʻO wai ka manaʻo e hoʻouna ana iā ʻoe i kāu pahu hulina: He makaʻu a me ke kānalua? ʻImi a me ka ihu? ʻO ka hauʻoli a me ka haʻalulu?

Ke ʻike nei i kāu mea e nānā a ʻimi nei paha ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka ʻimi ʻana he waiwai, i ʻōlelo ʻia e ka loea ʻo Jor-El Caraballo M.Ed., kahi loea pili a me ka mea hana o Viva Wellness. Ma ia ala e ʻike ai ʻoe i ka wā e loaʻa ai kāu mea e ʻimi nei, wahi āna. (A hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻalo i ka hele ʻana i kahi luʻu hohonu ke loaʻa iā ʻoe.)

ʻO ke keu pono nui o ka huli wikiwiki: palekana

"Ua ulu ulu nui ka launa pū ʻana ma ka pūnaewele, a e like me ka nui, ʻo ia ka nui o nā catfisher weliweli," wahi a Megan Harrison, ka mea lapaʻau aloha pili kai pili ʻo Tampa Bay a me ka hoʻokumu o Couples Candy. (Ma ka liʻiliʻi he 18,000 mau kānaka i lilo i ka "hoʻopunipuni aloha" i ka makahiki 2018, e like me ka FBI.) E kōkua paha ʻo Googling iā ʻoe e hōʻalo i kekahi o kēia mau catfishers ma ke kōkua ʻana iā ʻoe e hōʻoia i haʻi ʻia e kekahi. No ka laʻana, inā e puka mai kā lākou papa pōpeku, ʻo lākou maoli ka waena o kā lākou hui kūloko, a inā e piʻi i luna kahi kiʻi nūpepa kūloko e pili ana i kā lākou ʻoihana lemonade, he ʻoihana ʻoiaʻiʻo lākou.

ʻOiai e kōkua paha kēia mau loiloi iā ʻoe e loaʻa ka maluhia o ka noʻonoʻo, koi ʻo Caraballo iā ʻoe e nānā i loko a nānā inā he kumu kāu e kānalua ai i kēia kanaka. "Aia paha kekahi mea kikoʻī āu e hopohopo nei? Inā pēlā, e heluhelu paha kāu ma ka pūnaewele maoli kōkua e hōʻoluʻolu i kou ʻalolo? "Inā aia kekahi mea kikoʻī āu e hopohopo ai," e hilinaʻi i kou naʻau, "wahi a Kahn." Mai ʻae e hui pū me kekahi ke ʻole ʻoe e maopopo leʻa ʻo lākou ka mea a lākou e koi ai. a, ʻoluʻolu ʻoe e hana pēlā."

He manaʻo maikaʻi ke noi aku i kekahi āu i hālāwai ai ma ka pūnaewele e kaʻana like i kā lākou Snap a i ʻole Instagram paʻa me ʻoe, i loaʻa iā ʻoe kēlā hōʻoia kumu, wahi a Caraballo. ʻO ka huaʻōlelo nui ma aneʻi: e nīnau. Ma mua o ka pāʻani ʻana i kahi mākaʻi, pololei ʻoe i ke noi ʻana i kekahi no kā lākou lima.

"Hiki iā ʻoe ke noi aku i kekahi e hana i kahi kamaʻilio wikiō wikiwiki ma mua o ka ʻae ʻana e hui kino." "Hāʻawi kēia iā ʻoe e hana i kahi loiloi vibe, a hāʻawi pū kekahi i kahi hōʻoia ʻike pololei ʻo ke kanaka pehea, a ʻo wai hoʻi, ua hōʻike mua lākou iā lākou iho." (E nānā: Ua hele wau i nā lā mua ma o ke kamaʻilio wikiō ʻana i ka wā ʻo COVID-19 Quarantine - Eia pehea e hele ai)

A he mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo ʻaʻohe ala e hōʻoia ai i ka palekana i kahi lā. No ka hoʻomaka ʻana, ua mālama pono ʻia nā poʻe he nui ma ka pūnaewele e hana i kahi kiʻi kikoʻī, "no laila ʻaʻole ʻo ka ʻōwili ʻana ma o ka media media ke ala pololei loa e hoʻoholo ai i kahi kanaka a i ʻole ko lākou ʻano," wahi a Harrison.

No kou palekana, he manaʻo maikaʻi nō hoʻi e hāʻawi i ʻelua mau hoaaloha a me nā lālā o ka ʻohana ma kahi liʻiliʻi loa i ka huakaʻi o kāu lā, a me ka kaʻana ʻana i kou wahi me kekahi ma kāu kelepona, ma mua o ka hālāwai ʻana me kahi pāʻani pūnaewele. (E pili pū ana: 5 mau mea e pono ai nā kānaka a pau e ʻike e pili ana i ke kāne a me ka launa pū ʻana, e like me ka mea lapaʻau pilina)

Hiki iā ia ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻike i nā incompatibility ākea

"Hiki i kahi liʻiliʻi o ka noiʻi pūnaewele ke kōkua i ka hāʻawi ʻana i ka ʻike i ka waiwai o ke kanaka a i ʻole ka manaʻo politika a me ka hoʻomana," wahi a Harrison. Makemake paha ʻoe e noʻonoʻo inā loaʻa iā lākou nā ʻano āu e ʻae ʻole ai, wahi a ia - ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole lākou e hāʻawi i ka ʻike nui ma kā lākou ʻaoʻao.

ʻO kahi laʻana, malia paha pili wale ʻoe i ka poʻe e koho polū a ke kau nei kāu match i ka pāpale "Make America Great" i kā lākou mau kiʻi Facebook āpau. A i ʻole, ua aʻo ʻoe he poʻe lawehala kūpaʻa lākou mai Instagram, ke lilo ʻoe i atheist holoʻokoʻa. ʻO ke aʻo ʻana i kēia mau mea ma mua o ke kau ʻana o IRL hiki ke lilo i mea pono i mālama ai lākou iā ʻoe mai ka hui ʻana me kekahi āu e ʻike ʻole ai.

ʻLelo ʻia, aia kekahi mau ala e kiʻi ai i kēia ʻike me ka ʻole o ka pae huli. Pehea? Kūkākūkā! He kosher loa ke nīnau i kāu pāʻani he aha kā lākou pili politika a me nā manaʻo honua ma mua o kou hui ʻana. E ʻōlelo paha ʻoe, "Ma mua o ka hoʻolālā ʻana e hui kino, manaʻo paha ʻoe inā e nīnau wau ʻo wai kāu i koho ai i ke koho balota i hala? A i ʻole, "ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu pehea e lawe maʻamau ai i kēia, akā makemake wau e hōʻike iā ʻoe he koho wau. E manaʻo paha ʻoe e kaʻana like i kāu mau manaʻo ponoʻī e pili ana i ke kumuhana?" (Pili: Ka hihia no ke alo i mua e pili ana i kāu moekolohe ma ka lā mua)

E like me kā Caraballo i ʻōlelo ai, "ʻO ka pili aloha ka mea e pili ana i ke aʻo ʻana e pili ana i kekahi a e ʻike ʻia ai ʻoe iā ʻoe iho.

Akā aia kahi Zero pono i ka Over-Sleuthing

ʻOiai hiki i kahi ʻōwili liʻiliʻi ke hōʻoluʻolu, "hiki ke weliweli inā ʻeli hohonu ʻoe," wahi a Harrison. "Inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i nā wahi hoʻomaha hoʻomaha ma mua o ka mea hoʻopiʻi a i ʻole nā ​​inoa o kā lākou mau hoaaloha, a laila he hōʻailona paha ʻoe i hele mamao loa," wahi āna. (Inā ʻoe e hana maʻalahi nei i ka ʻaʻa me nā aʻalolo o ka lā ma mua, e noʻonoʻo i kekahi o kēia mau manaʻo nui o ka lā mua i haku ʻia e Headspace lāua ʻo Hinge.)

ʻO ke aʻo nui ʻana e pili ana i kekahi ma mua o kou hālāwai ʻana me IRL e hao ʻoe i ka manawa kūpono e hoʻolauna iā lākou iho iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole wale ia, akā hiki paha iā ʻoe ke uhi i nā manaʻo, nā manaʻo, a me nā moʻolelo i ka mea āu e aʻo ai inā paha ʻaʻole pololei paha, wahi a Kahn. "A ʻo kēlā mau manaʻo kuhi hewa ʻole e hiki ke hoʻopili i kou manaʻo, no, a ʻōlelo i ke kanaka," wahi a lākou. I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopau iā ʻoe iho me kou noʻonoʻo ponoʻī!

Mai ka ʻike pilikino, ʻike wau i ka luʻu hohonu hiki ke alakaʻi i kahi mana mana pono ʻole (a ʻino) kahi e ʻike ai kekahi. alahele hou aku e pili ana i ka mea ʻē aʻe ma mua o ka versa. I kekahi manawa, hele au i ka launa pū me kekahi i hana e like me ko lākou ʻike ʻana iaʻu no ka mea ua heluhelu lākou i kahi ʻatikala kanaka mua (a ʻelima paha) aʻu i kākau ai. No ka mea ʻaʻole i hāʻawi ʻia iaʻu ka manawa e aʻo ai i ka ʻike like e pili ana iā lākou, ua manaʻo wau i ka hopohopo a hoʻopau wau i ka pōkole o ka lā.

Hoʻohui, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke lawe maoli i nā kikoʻī o ka mea āu i aʻo ai ma o kāu ʻimi. "Ke lawe nei i kahi mea i kāu lā i ʻike ai ma ka pūnaewele hiki ke lilo i pilikia nui," wahi a Caraballo. Inā ua kaʻanalike ʻoe i kāu mau pili pūnaewele a laila hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi kūpono i nā mea āu i ʻike ai a nīnau e pili ana. Akā no ka ʻike i loaʻa ʻia e nā kumuwaiwai ʻē aʻe (e like me ka huli ʻana o Google, lurk LinkedIn, a me Venmo track) hiki ke maʻalahi. "ʻO ka nīnau ʻana i kekahi e pili ana i kahi mea āu i ʻike ai [ma kāu ʻimi ʻana] hiki iā lākou ke manaʻo e pale iki a hopohopo paha," wahi āna. Kaulike! (E pili pū ana: No ke aha i hoʻopaʻa ʻia ai kāu maʻi hopohopo ma ka pūnaewele)

E hoʻomanaʻo: ʻAʻole e haʻi aku kāu ʻimi i ka moʻolelo holoʻokoʻa

Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e aʻo i kahi mea e kānalua ai ʻoe i kou palekana, "he mea nui e lawe i kāu mea i loaʻa me kahi paʻakai," wahi a Harrison. "ʻO kahi kiʻi a i ʻole kahi tweet wale nō e haʻi i kahi ʻāpana o kahi moʻolelo, a haʻo ʻoe i kahi ʻāpana nui o ka puzzle."

ʻO kāna manaʻo: Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi ʻōpū maikaʻi ma luna o ke kanaka, "pono ​​ʻoe e ʻae i kahi kanaka i ka manawa kūpono e hana i kā lākou manaʻo mua i ke kanaka no ka mea e loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi manaʻo ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kekahi ma ke kino." (E nānā i nā mea hou aʻe: Hiki i nā ala kupaianaha 5 ke kōkua i kāu pilina)

E hoʻonui kēia hoʻolālā i ka helu o nā lā āu e hele nei? Maliʻa paha. Akā hiki iā ia ke alakaʻi iā ʻoe i ke aloha me kahi mea nona ka media media e hoʻokiʻekiʻe ai i kou mau maka. No ka mea, ma waho o ke kiʻiʻoniʻoni ʻO kāna, pili ka pilina ma waena o ʻelua mau kānaka - ʻaʻole hoʻokahi kanaka a me kā lākou punaewele punaewele.

Nānā no