Hiki paha i kāu pilina ke hoʻololi i kāu kiʻi o ke kino

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Ke ʻike nei i ke kanaka e aloha aloha ʻole iā ʻoe inā he booster hilinaʻi nui, ʻeā? ʻAe, e like me kahi noiʻi hou, ʻaʻole ia ka hihia no pau loa nā pilina, ʻo ia hoʻi nā mea i manaʻo ʻia ʻoi aku ka nani o kekahi hoa ma mua o kekahi. (Nānā ʻaoʻao: Hiki paha i nā kiʻi pēpē ke lilo i mea huna i ka pilina ikaika?)

ʻO nā kānaka noiʻi ma hope o ke aʻo ʻana, i paʻi wale ʻia ma ka puke pai Kiʻi Kino, makemake e nānā pehea e wānana ai nā pilina aloha i ka likelihood o nā wahine e ulu i ka ʻai disordered. ʻO ka hope loa, ua ʻike lākou ʻo nā wahine i ka pilina me nā kāne i manaʻo ʻia he ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi e ʻoi aku ka ikaika o ka ʻili a me ka ʻai. Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, ke manaʻo ʻia ka wahine i loko o ka pilina he ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, ʻaʻole lākou e manaʻo i kēlā kaomi like. ʻO ka kicker? ʻAʻole manaʻo nā kāne i ke kaomi me ka nānā ʻole ʻia o nā hoa hea ʻoi aku ka nani. ʻAe.

Ma luna o 100 mau kāne male (a wiwo ʻole) i ʻae e loiloi ʻia ma muli o ko lākou nani. Ua hoʻopiha kēlā me kēia mea i ka pepa nīnau i nā nīnau e pili ana i ke kiʻi o ke kino, inā paha hauʻoli lākou i ke ʻano o ko lākou ʻano, a me ka nui o ke kaomi a lākou e ʻike ai he lahilahi a me / a ʻoluʻolu paha. ʻO kahi kiʻi kino piha o kēlā me kēia kanaka i lawe ʻia a loiloi ʻia no ka ʻoluʻolu (helu ʻia 1 a 10) e kahi hui kūʻokoʻa o ka poʻe. I ka hopena, ʻo nā wahine i helu liʻiliʻi ʻia ma mua o kā lākou kāne, ʻoi aku paha ka maikaʻi o ka manaʻo e pili ana iā lākou iho a ʻoi aku ka manaʻo kiʻekiʻe i ka papaʻai. ʻO Womp Womp.

Akā, e like me kā Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., LMFT, i haʻi mai iā mākou ma mua o kēia makahiki: "ʻO ke kumu o ka pilina e hoʻohālikelike i nā mea a loaʻa ke kaulike ma ke ʻano he kāne. honua." I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole manaʻo ʻia kēlā me kēia hoa ma ka pālua e like me ka ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻole maʻamau wale nā ​​ʻokoʻa o ka nani, he 100 pakeneka maʻamau.

Akā he aha ka mea e hiki ai iā mākou ke hana e hoʻoponopono i ke kūlana make? ʻĀ, ʻo ke haumāna doctoral ʻo Tania Reynolds, ʻo ia kekahi o nā alakaʻi kākau o ke aʻo ʻana, koʻikoʻi i ka mea nui o nā kāne kāne ke lawe nei i ka manawa e haʻi waha i kā lākou kākoʻo wahine. "ʻO kekahi ala e kōkua ai i kēia mau wahine no ka hōʻoia hou ʻana o nā hoa, e hoʻomanaʻo ana iā lākou," Nani ʻoe. Aloha au iā ʻoe i kēlā me kēia kaumaha a ʻano kino paha, "i ʻōlelo ʻo Reynolds i kahi hoʻokuʻu nūhou. ʻOiaʻiʻo, pono e hāʻawi ʻia kēia mau manaʻo i kēlā me kēia pilina, akā malia paha he waiwai i ka hōʻoia ʻana e ʻōlelo me ka leo nui a maopopo leʻa e pili ana, ma mua o ka manaʻo wale ʻana e hoʻomaopopo ʻia ka ʻae ʻana o ke kino. A inā hoʻohewa kou hoa i kou kino ma kekahi ʻano, ʻo ia paha ka manawa e noʻonoʻo hou ai i ka pilina. (FYI, eia ke ʻano o ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻana i ka hiamoe me kāu hoa e hōʻeha ai i kou olakino.)

Lana ka manaʻo o nā mea kākau ma o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i kēia ʻano i nā pilina a me ke aʻo ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e pili ana i nā wānana a me nā hōʻailona hōʻailona, ​​hiki i ke kaiāulu lapaʻau ke hāʻawi i ke kōkua ma mua o ka wā ma hope i nā wahine e hoʻomohala i nā pilikia ʻai a kino paha o ke kino. "Inā maopopo mākou i ka pili ʻana o ka pilina o nā wahine i kā lākou hoʻoholo ʻana i ka meaʻai a me nā wānana pilikanaka no ka hoʻomohala ʻana i nā ʻano ʻai pono ʻole," i ʻōlelo ai ʻo Reynolds, "a laila e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kā mākou kōkua iā lākou."

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