ʻO nā hemahema o ka leka uila a me ka leka uila ma nā pilina

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Kūpono ka leka uila a me ka leka uila ʻana, akā me ka hoʻohana ʻana iā lākou e pale i ka paio hiki ke alakaʻi i nā pilikia kamaʻilio ma waena o kahi pilina. He mea hōʻoluʻolu ke kipaku ʻana i nā leka uila, e ʻae iā ʻoe e hele i nā hana mai kāu papa inoa hana ma ka wikiwiki o ka maʻawe. Akā ʻoi aku ka nui, huli nā wahine i ka papa keyboard no ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana i nā hālāwai. ʻOi aku ka maʻalahi o ka ʻenehana i ka lawe ʻana i nā kumulāʻau ʻoiʻoi ke keʻehi nei i ka hakakā. A i ko mākou honua paʻahana, e lilo wikiwiki nei nā leka i ʻano mea hou no nā kamaʻilio kūpono e pili mau ana ka poʻe. No laila inā e hana ana kēlā me kēia, maikaʻi anei ia?

Aʻole naʻe. Aia, i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, kekahi mau mea maikaʻi ʻole o ka leka uila a me nā leka. "Ua lilo ka leka uila a me nā kikokikona i mau puʻuhonua palekana no nā mea pena kiʻi pakele," wahi a Susan Newman, Ph.D., kanaka kālaiʻike kanaka a me ka mea kākau he 13 mau manawa. "Hiki iā ʻoe ke nānā ʻole i nā leka, ʻaʻole pono e pane i nā nīnau āu e makemake ʻole ai, a ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻike i ka nui o kou ʻeha ʻana i kekahi. Ke nalo nei mākou i nā haʻawina waiwai i loko o ke kamaʻilio i loko o ke kino e aʻo iā mākou. " Ma ka ʻimi ʻana i ʻekolu mau pilikia uila o nā wahine (maopopo mākou ʻaʻole ʻo lākou wale nō ka mea e hakakā ana me ka ʻenehana!) Hōʻike ʻo Newman i ke kumu o nā mea o ka puʻuwai, e waiho ana i kou mau manamana lima i ke kamaʻilio ʻana e alakaʻi pinepine ai i ka ʻino ma mua o ka maikaʻi. E hāhai i kāna kumumanaʻo hōʻoia ʻole no ke kamaʻilio olakino.

Ka Laʻana #1: Hiki i nā ʻōlelo pōkole ke hoʻohuli i kahi hoaaloha i frenemy.

Ma hope o ka neʻe ʻana o kahi hoaaloha i kona kūlanakauhale, ua hana ʻo Erica Taylor, 25, i nā mea a pau e hiki ai ke kōkua i kāna hoaaloha e noho, e hoʻokuʻu iā ia e hāʻule i kona hale a hoʻopaʻa iā ia i kahi internship. Akā ua mimfed ʻo Erica i ka wā i nānā ʻole ai kāna hoa aloha i ka moena lewa i hoʻonohonoho ʻia nona, e hoʻolilo ana i ka moe moe (a.k.a. lumi moe) i kona wahi moe. ʻO ke kikokikona aloha a Erica (piha me ka maka ʻakaʻaka) e noi ana e hoʻihoʻi ʻia ka moena futon i kona kiʻi i hoʻoulu ʻia i nā memo snippy i hope. Ma luna o nā uea, piʻi aʻe ka huhū a hiki i ka wā a ko Erica hoa aloha i kikokiko ai e neʻe ana ʻo ia i waho a me ke koʻi ʻana i ka hana. ʻAʻole lāua i kamaʻilio mai ia manawa mai.

ʻO ka mea nui, ua hoʻohana ʻo Erica i nā pōkole leka uila e noi ai i kahi hoaaloha. He aha ka hewa o ka hana ʻana i nā pōkole texting a me ka waiho ʻana i nā leka uila?

"Hāʻawi nā ʻanopelo pōkole loa i kekahi mau kuhi e pili ana i ke kani o kahi leka a i ka mea a ke kanaka e manaʻo nei ke kikokiko nei ʻo ia," wahi a Newman, "e alakaʻi ana i ka huikau a me ka wehewehe hewa ʻana." Hiki i kekahi mau huaʻōlelo i heluhelu hewa ʻole ke hoʻoulu i nā pane kuli-jerk-rection e hemo koke mai ka lima. Hiki i kēlā mau ʻatikala i hoʻoili ʻia i ka naʻau ke heluhelu hou ad-infinitum, me ka hoʻohui ʻana i ke kūpaʻa mau ʻana i nā ʻōpala ʻeha.

He aha ka mea e hana ai:

ʻO ka manawa mua e kiʻi ai i kahi leka uila e kani liʻiliʻi, pale aku i ka makemake e pane i ke ʻano. Akā, e hāpai i ke kelepona, e ʻōlelo iā Newman, a ʻōlelo, "He mau hoaaloha mākou no ka wā lōʻihi. Maopopo leʻa ʻaʻole ʻike maka mākou i ka maka. E kamaʻilio e pili ana i kēia."

E hele i ka ʻaoʻao ʻelua no nā mea hou aʻe no ka pilina olakino.

Laʻana # 2: Ke hilinaʻi nei i nā leka uila e lawe i nā lono maikaʻi ʻole.

ʻO Joanna Riedl, 27, hoʻomana i ka hoa aloha lōʻihi e pili aloha ana akā ʻaʻohe ona manaʻo aloha. ʻAʻole hiki ke alo iā ia me ka nūhou, ua hoʻopau ʻo ia i ka pilina ma o ka leka uila. ʻAʻole ia i makemake e hana ʻino i kāna kāne; Ua makaʻu ʻo Joanna e ʻeha ʻo ia ke haʻi kino ʻo ia iā ia.

Ma hope koke iho o kona kau ʻana, ua kahe nā leka i kāna kelepona paʻalima: "Ua haki ʻoe i ka leka uila?" a "Pehea ʻoe i hiki ai?" Hoʻohuli i kāna leo ʻenehana leka uila i hoʻopuka ʻia i ka leka ma o ka leka uila. Ua hoʻouna ʻo ia i ka leka hoʻokaʻawale i nā hoaaloha no ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo. Ua hōʻea koke ʻo ia i ka pōʻai holoʻokoʻa o nā kāne i hoʻopaʻa ʻia i ka pahu hau o kekahi. Ua kūkulu hou ʻo Joanna i ka pilina. Maʻaneʻi, ua hilinaʻi ʻo Joanna i nā leka uila e lawe i nā lono maikaʻi ʻole. He aha ka hewa?

Ke hilinaʻi ʻoe i ka ʻenehana e hana i kāu hana haumia, haʻalele ʻoe i nā mea āpau mai ka wehewehe ʻana i ka lawe ʻana i kāu leka a hiki i ka manawa kūpono. "Manaʻo paha ʻoe e pale ana ʻoe i ka mea ʻē aʻe ma ka ʻae ʻana iā lākou e komo i ka nūhou maikaʻi ʻole," wahi a Newman, "akā ʻo ka mea āu e ʻōlelo maoli nei ʻo 'Manaʻo wale wau iaʻu iho. Ua mākaukau wau e neʻe i mua'. " ʻAʻole wale ʻoe e holo i ka makaʻu i ka hōʻeha ʻana i ke kanaka me ka ʻike ʻole, hiki i kāu ala pepa ke alakaʻi pololei i ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa. I kā Joanna hihia, ua hoʻohuli ka ʻenehana i ka mea i kamaʻilio pilikino ʻia i loko o kahi hihia ākea loa a ua ʻeha kona kūlana.

He aha ka mea e hana ai:

E wāwahi i ke alo a he alo. E hoʻomanaʻo, hiki i nā ʻōlelo puʻuwai ke nānā aku me ka ʻīnika wiwo ʻole, akā hiki i ka leo pumehana a me ka palaki o ka lima ke hana i nā mea kupanaha e hoʻopalupalu ai i ka "He hehena wau iā ʻoe akā ʻaʻole ia e hana".

Laʻana # 3: Ke hacking nei i nā leka uila e mālama i nā ʻaoʻao i kāu kāne.

ʻAʻole wale ia ke kākau ʻana i nā leka uila a me nā leka i hiki ke hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ka wai o ka pilina: Ke heluhelu nei i nā leka pilikino o ke kanaka ke manaʻo ʻoe he hūnā kahi hoa a mea aloha paha i kahi mea e like me ka snooping i kahi diary laka kahi hana i hiki ke hoʻi i hope. I ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ke kāne a 28 makahiki ʻo Kim Ellis i ka hana ʻē aʻe ma hope koke o kona hānau ʻana i ke keiki mua a lāua, ua hoʻoholo ʻo ia e hack i kāna moʻokāki leka uila. ʻO ka mea āna i ʻike ai he mau haneli aloha uahi ma waena ona a me kahi hoa hana (piha me nā hoʻolaha o ke aloha mau loa, nā pāpale hou o nā ʻaina "ʻoihana" a me kahi hoʻolālā holo holoʻokoʻa kikoʻī). Ua koi ʻo Kim i kahi hemo.

Ua ʻimi ʻo Kim i ka hacking ʻana i nā leka uila e aʻo i kāna makemake e ʻike. He aha ka pilikia?

"ʻO ka ʻoki ʻana i nā huaʻōlelo huna e nānā i nā leka pilikino a kahi hoa e hōʻailona ai i nā pilikia hilinaʻi nui," wahi a Newman. "ʻOiai e hōʻoia ana ka leka uila i nā manaʻo kānalua, ʻaʻole ia e hōʻike i nā pilikia e pili ana iā ia. Malia paha ua holo ka pilina. Malia paha hiki ke hana ʻia ka hihia ma ke aʻo ʻana. Me ka ʻike ʻole i ka pilikia nui, ʻaʻohe manaʻolana o e hoʻoholo ana."

He aha e hana ai ma kahi o:

ʻO ka hakakā ʻana i ka hoa pili e pili ana i nā hana kānalua he paʻakikī, wahi a Newman, akā ma mua o ka wāwahi ʻana i ka leka uila, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi e nīnau i ke alo i ke alo, "He aha ka hana?" Mai hāʻule i ka pahele ʻenehana. E like me kā mākou i ʻike ai i kēia mau hiʻohiʻona ʻekolu, kahi e pili ana i nā manaʻo, ʻaʻole hiki ke hoʻoponopono wikiwiki i ka ʻenehana i kou pilina a me nā pilikia kamaʻilio e ʻike ʻia ma mua.

3 kamaʻilio e pono ai iā ʻoe ma mua o kaʻu hana '

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