He aha ka mea i manaʻo ʻia he 'lumi moe make' a pehea e hoʻoponopono ai?

Anter

• Hiki i kekahi mau kāne ke ʻike i ka lumi moe make
• ʻO ka "make" ke ʻano o ka moekolohe ʻole?
• No laila he aha ia?
• He aha ke kumu?
• Kaumaha
• Hoʻololi ke kino
• Kamaliʻi
• Ka nele o ka ʻoluʻolu
• Pehea ʻoe e lawe ai i kāu hoa?
• Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai inā ʻo kou "lumi moe make" kahi hōʻailona o kahi pilikia nui?
• He aha kāu e hana ai e neʻe ai i mua?
• Hana i kahi hoʻolālā
• Hoʻonui i ke aloha i kēlā me kēia lā
• Honi wale
• E ʻimi i nā ʻano pilina pili ʻē aʻe
• Hele hele kālepa
• Ke laina lalo

Hiki i kekahi mau kāne ke ʻike i ka lumi moe make

ʻO ka huaʻōlelo "make moe moe wahine" ma mua mai ia, ʻae, no ka mea aia mau nā U-haul. Kuhi ia i ka hanana i nā pilina lōʻihi kahi e hele ai ka wahine i MIA.

I kēia mau lā, mai ia mea, ua kupu mai kahi manawa hou a me ke kāne a me ka moekolohe, e kunou ana i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo kekahi hiki ke hoʻololi i ke ola o ka wahine ma mua o ka ʻole.

Ke hoʻolauna nei: lumi moe make.

ʻO ka "make" ke ʻano o ka moekolohe ʻole?

Hiki iā ia. Akā ʻaʻole kēlā i hāʻawi ʻia.

"ʻAʻole kahi lumi moe make kahi hōʻailona maʻi," wahi a Jess O'Reilly, PhD, ka mea hoʻokipa o ka @SexWithDrJess Podcast.

ʻAʻohe o nā kuʻina diagnostical official e pili ana i ka lōʻihi o kou moe ʻole ʻana a me ke ʻano pinepine ʻole o ka moekolohe ʻana i ka pilina lumi moe i make.

"Manaʻo kekahi poʻe he 6 mau mahina me ka ʻole o ka moekolohe e kū i kēlā pae hoʻohālikelike no ka lumi moe make; 'ōlelo kekahi e pono ʻoe e hele lōʻihi me ka moekolohe ma mua o kēlā, "wahi a Dr. O'Reilly.

"ʻAʻohe maoli kahi helu hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopaʻa a ʻōlelo i kekahi mea ʻoi aku ma mua o ka lumi moe make," wahi a Lisa Finn, he mea aʻo moekolohe ma ka emporium sex emporium Babeland.

ʻ saylelo ʻo Finn lāua ʻo Kauka O'Reilly i kēlā me kēia kanaka a me nā kāne e hoʻoholo e pili ana i nā mea e helu ʻia he lumi moe make no lāua.

"Ua moekolohe kekahi mau kāne ma ke ʻano he 3 a he 5 mau manawa i ka pule no kekahi mau makahiki mua o ko lāua pili, a laila hoʻomaka i ka moekolohe hoʻokahi manawa i ka hebedoma a ʻōlelo lākou ua make kahi lumi moe," wahi a Finn. "Ua moekolohe wale nā ​​kāne ʻē aʻe i nā lā hoʻomanaʻo a me nā lā hānau, a manaʻo ʻole ua make kā lākou moekolohe."

Eia hou, ua koho kekahi mau kāne male ʻole e hōʻole i kekahi mau hana moekolohe a hiki i ka male ʻana, akā e komo i nā ʻano pāʻani ʻē aʻe a manaʻo ʻole iā lākou iho i kahi maloʻo.

No laila he aha ia?

ʻO ke kumu, ʻo ka lumi moe i make ka wā i loaʻa iā ʻoe a me kāu pakanā kahi ʻano moekolohe a haʻalele ʻē aku mai kēlā - i kahi manawa pōkole a mau paha.

'Leloʻo Finn e like paha kēia mau mea me he lumi moe i make:

• ʻOi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ka moekolohe ʻana o ʻoe a me kāu hoa ma mua o kāu "maʻamau."
• Ke pale nei ʻoe a i ʻole kāu pakanā i ka moekolohe a i ʻole ke pili kino ʻana me kekahi.
• E hoʻohālikelike ʻoe a i ʻole kāu pakanā i kāu moekolohe ma ke ʻano he "emi o ka leʻaleʻa" ma mua o ka maʻamau.
• ʻAʻole ʻoluʻolu ʻoe a i ʻole kāu pakanā me ka pinepine o ka moekolohe ʻana.

He aha ke kumu?

E lawe i kahi ʻōwili ma o ka ʻaoʻao subreddit r / DeadBedrooms, aia ma kahi o 200,000 mau lālā, a e ʻike ʻoe aia he mau tone o nā kumu e loli ai ke ola kāne a ka wahine.

Holo lākou i ka gamut mai ka physiological a me ka naʻau i ka noʻonoʻo a me ke kino. Eia kekahi o nā mea maʻamau.

Kaumaha

Wahi a kahi loiloi BodyLogicMD o ka poʻe 1000 me ka lumi moe i make, ʻo ke koʻikoʻi koʻikoʻi ka hana nui.

Ke noʻonoʻo nei i nā hopena physiologic o ke koʻikoʻi i ke kino, kūpono kēia.

"Hiki i nā hormones stress ke hoʻopilikia maoli i kā mākou pane hoʻāla a me ka libido," wahi a Dr. O'Reilly.

Hoʻohui hou ʻo ia: "Inā koʻikoʻi ʻoe i ke kālā, ke hoʻāʻo wale nei e hele, a hopohopo paha i kou palekana pilikino a me kou ola ʻana, ʻo ka moekolohe paha ka mea mamao loa mai kou manaʻo."

Hoʻololi ke kino

He mea maʻamau ia no kekahi mau hoʻololi o ke kino e hoʻopili i kāu ola wahine.

ʻO kahi laʻana, i nā poʻe me ka vulvas, hiki i ka menopause ke hōʻemi i ka libido a hoʻoliʻiliʻi i ka lubrication maoli.

A i ka poʻe me nā penise, aia kahi erectile hana, ka mea maʻamau ma hope o ke ola.

ʻO ke kaulike ʻole o ka Hormonal, ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kaumaha, nā maʻi hoʻomau, a me nā ʻeha pū kekahi i ka hoʻololi i kāu ola wahine.

Eia naʻe, ʻaʻole pololei kēia mau mea kumu he lumi moe i make. ʻO lākou wale nō ka mea hōʻeleu, wahi a Dr. O'Reilly. "Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe a me kāu hoa e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kēia mau hoʻololi a hana i nā hoʻoponopono e ʻae iā ʻoe e hoʻokele ʻoluʻolu i ka moekolohe, hiki i kēia mau pilikia ke hōʻemi i ka moekolohe."

Kamaliʻi

"ʻO ke kumu maʻamau aʻu e ʻike nei no ka lumi moe make e pili ana i ka loaʻa ʻana o nā keiki," wahi a Dr. O'Reilly.

ʻO kēia no ka lilo ʻana o nā keiki i ke kiko nui a me ka mea nui, a hāʻule ka pilina i ke ala.

Ka nele o ka ʻoluʻolu

"Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e leʻaleʻa i ka moekolohe āu e loaʻa nei, ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake e loaʻa ia," wahi a Dr. O'Reilly. Kaulike!

Pehea ʻoe e lawe ai i kāu hoa?

Aia ia i ke kumu o kou lawe ʻana mai.

ʻO kekahi mau nīnau e noodle ma mua o ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kāu hoa.

• Makemake wau i ka moekolohe ʻana ma mua o kaʻu male?
• Makemake wau e loaʻa me kaʻu hoa?
• Aia kekahi manawa kikoʻī, hanana, a mea paha i alakaʻi i kēia neʻe?
• Ke huhū nei paha wau (e like me ka huhū a hewa paha) i hoʻohaunaele i koʻu hoihoi ponoʻī i ka moekolohe?

ʻO ka pale ʻole ʻana i ka moekolohe, a i ʻole ka moe ʻana me ka "liʻiliʻi", ʻaʻole ia he pilikia maʻa mau.

ʻAʻole makemake kekahi poʻe e moekolohe a inā ma ka ʻaoʻao like ʻolua, hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa kahi pilina hoʻokō piha, wahi a Dr. O'Reilly.

Inā hauʻoli ʻoe i kou (ʻaʻole ola nui) ke ola moekolohe, makemake paha ʻoe e hana i kahi ananaha mahana a ʻike inā ʻoluʻolu hoʻi kāu hoa.

E hoʻāʻo: “Aloha nui wau i ke ʻano o ka pilina ma loko o kā mākou pili, a ʻoluʻolu hoʻi i kā mākou [hoʻokomo i ke ala e mālama ai i ka pilina ma kahi ʻē aʻe o ka wahine ma aneʻi. Makemake wau e nānā a ʻike pehea kou manaʻo e pili ana i kā mākou pili. "

Inā hoʻoholo ʻoe e hoʻohaunaele ka manawa hoʻohaʻahaʻa hoʻohaʻahaʻa iā ʻoe a makemake ʻoe e loaʻa ka moekolohe ʻoi aku ka nui ma mua o kou loaʻa - kikoʻī me kāu hoa - ʻo ka manawa kēia e kamaʻilio ai.

"Makemake ʻoe e lawe i kahi ala hewa ʻole," wahi a Finn. He mea nui kēia! "ʻO ke kumu o ke kamaʻilio ʻana ʻaʻole e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā mea hewa, akā e kūkākūkā i nā mea āu e makemake ai e ʻike hou aʻe."

Pili i ke alelo? Hōʻike ʻo Finn i kēia anakuhi:

1. E kamaʻilio e pili ana i kahi mea e holo maikaʻi nei i kāu pili
2. E nīnau iā lākou pehea lākou i ʻike ai
3. Kaʻana i ka mea āu e makemake ai e ʻike hou aʻe
4. E hana i kahi no lākou e kaʻana like ai

Inā ʻaʻohe mea e loaʻa ai kāu hoʻāʻo mua, hoʻāʻo hou.

Inā like ka lua o ka manawa, ʻimi paha ʻoe i ka wahine a i ʻole therapist i nā kāne, i hiki ke kōkua i ke kamaʻilio a kōkua iā ʻolua e lohe.

Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai inā ʻo kou "lumi moe make" kahi hōʻailona o kahi pilikia nui?

"ʻAʻole e hana nā pilikia i kahi hakahaka, no laila hiki loa ke loli ke ola o kāu moekolohe ma muli o ka hopena hohonu i loko o ka pilina," wahi a Kauka O'Reilly.

ʻO kahi laʻana, inā e hana nui ana kekahi hoa i ka mālama home ʻana, mālama keiki, a i ʻole ka hana naʻau, ʻaʻole ia he mea maʻamau ka nalowale o ka hoihoi o kēlā kanaka i ka moekolohe me kā lākou hoa.

Pēlā nō inā huhū kekahi i kekahi no nā kumu paʻa ʻē aʻe, e like me ka neʻe ʻana i ka hana, hoʻohana pono ʻole i ka lāʻau, a i ʻole ka infidelity.

"ʻO ka huhū ka antithesis o nā makemake a me ka leʻaleʻa," wahi a Dr. O'Reilly.

'Saysleloʻo Finn he mea maʻamau no ka poʻe e pani kino i ka wā e lilo ai lākou i ka naʻau. A, i kekahi mau hihia, ʻo "lumi moe make" kahi hōʻailona i nānā ai ʻoe mai ka pilina.

He aha kāu e hana ai e neʻe ai i mua?

Aia ia i ka mea āu makemake neʻe i mua.

Inā makemake ʻoe i ka moekolohe hou akā ʻaʻole makemake kāu pakanā, hoʻāʻo paha ʻoe:

• ke nānā aku nei i nā porn hou
• masturbating solo a hui pū paha
• ke hoʻāʻo nei i nā mea pāʻani hou
• holo ana i ka mīkini wahine
• hele i ka pāʻina moekolohe

E noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe i ka monogamy ʻole.

Inā makemake ʻoe e lilo i moe kolohe ma mua o ka hana a kāu pakanā, a ʻaʻohe o ʻelua a ʻelua paha makemake e wehe i ka pilina, ʻōlelo ʻo Finn: "Pono paha ʻoe e hoʻopau."

Ditto inā aia kekahi pilikia pilikia ʻaʻole makemake kāu hoa e hana pū me ʻoe. A i ʻole ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake e hana pū me lākou.

Akā inā makemake ʻoe a me kāu pākana e hanu i kou ola i loko o kou ola moekolohe, loaʻa iā Kauka O'Reilly nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo aʻe:

Hana i kahi hoʻolālā

"Ehia mau manawa āu e makemake ai e moekolohe? E kamaʻilio e pili ana! ” wahi a Kauka O'Reilly. A laila e noʻonoʻo i kahi ala e hoʻokō ai.

Hoʻonui i ke aloha i kēlā me kēia lā

ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e koi iā ʻoe iho e moekolohe, akā e hāmama ʻoe i ke kīkē ʻana ma ka moena ke nānā ʻoe iā Netflix? Pehea e pili ana i kou olohelohe?

Honi wale

E hāʻawi hou aku kekahi i kekahi i ka lomilomi, inā ʻo ia kahi pahuhopu i hiki ke hoʻokō ʻia. E hoʻomaka me 10 mau minuke i ka lā.

"ʻO nā kaupae liʻiliʻi e hohola aʻe ma luna o ka manawa e loaʻa nā hopena maikaʻi ma mua o ka luhi ʻana i nā loli paʻakikī e hoʻokō a hoʻomau," wahi a Dr. O'Reilly.

E ʻimi i nā ʻano pilina pili ʻē aʻe

Ke kū ʻole ʻoe i ke ʻano, hiki i ka moekolohe ke manaʻo he mamao loa.

E noʻonoʻo e nānā i ka porn me, honi ʻana, masturbating ma hope o, lomilomi, a i ʻole ʻauʻau ʻana me kāu pakanā, e ʻōlelo nei ʻo Kauka O'Reilly.

Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe i ke ʻano, loaʻa! Inā ʻaʻole, ʻaʻohe kaomi.

Hele hele kālepa

Mai ka lube a i nā vibrator i nā apo penis, hiki i nā mea kōkua wahine ke hanu i ke ola hou i loko o kou lumi moe.

Ke laina lalo

E like me ka hoʻopunipuni, micro-cheating, sex, a me kink, ka mea i helu ʻia ma ke ʻano he "lumi moe make" e loli i ka pilina i ka pilina, e pili ana i kāu ʻano manawa moekolohe.

Hiki i nā mea he nui ke alakaʻi i kahi lumi moe make - kekahi e hōʻike ana i kahi pilikia nui i ka pilina, ʻaʻole kekahi. Nānā ʻole, inā pilikia ia i hoʻokahi a ʻoi paha mau hoa, ʻo ka manawa kēia e kamaʻilio e pili ana.

ʻO kēlā kamaʻilio he kamaʻilio haʻihaʻi paha, kamaʻilio make-up, a i ʻole kōkua ia iā ʻoe e kau i kahi hoʻolālā no kahi hanky-panky hou aʻe.

ʻO Gabrielle Kassel kahi mea kākau moekolohe a me ke olakino ma New York a me CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. Ua lilo ʻo ia i kanaka kakahiaka, ua hoʻāʻo ma luna o 200 mau haʻalulu, a ʻai ʻia, ʻona, a palaki ʻia me ka lanahu - nā mea āpau ma ka inoa o ka puke pai. I kona manawa kaʻawale, hiki ke loaʻa ʻo ia i ka heluhelu ʻana i nā puke kōkua nona iho a me nā puke aloha, kaomi ʻana i ke keʻena, a me ka hulahula lāʻau paha. Hahai iā ia ma Instagram.