Pono ʻoe e kūʻē i kāu hoaaloha e pili ana i kā lākou ʻano pili aloha?

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Ka hiku o ke kau o Pili ma Paradise ʻAʻole i nele i ka hana keaka, a ʻaʻohe ʻokoʻa ka hanana o kēia pule.

Hoʻihoʻi wikiwiki: Ua hōʻike ʻia ka hanana o ka Pōʻalua i nā kāne e pili ana i ka pae aʻe - ʻo wai ka mea hiki ke poina iā "Grocery Store" ʻo Joe Amabile lāua ʻo Serena Pitt me ka hoʻolei ʻana i ka huaʻōlelo "L" - aʻo nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, e like me Natasha Parker, ʻaʻole i laki. ʻO Parker, ka mea i hōʻike mua ʻia ma kā Peter Weber kau o ʻO ke kēkelē i ka makahiki i hala aku nei, ua hoʻomaka Paradaiso kēia kauwela no kekahi pana hou i ke aloha. ʻOiai ua loaʻa iā ia kahi pāʻani ma mua Bachelorette ʻO Brendan Morais, he mau maka wale nō kāna no Pieper James, a Bachelor alum i hōʻea i Paradaiso i ka pule aku nei.

Ma mua o ka Paradaisoakā naʻe, ua puka mai nā lono he mea ʻo Morais lāua ʻo James. I ka lohe ʻana o Parker i nā lono, ua noi ʻo ia iā Morais e wehewehe i kona pilina me James, a ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia he mau manawa wale nō kā lāua ʻelua. Ua hoʻopiʻi ʻia ʻo Morais lāua ʻo James no ka hoʻolālā ʻana e hui ma kahakai o Paradaiso, wahi a Us Weekly.

Ma ka Poalua, eia nae ke koena Paradaiso Ua hōʻike aʻe ka poʻe hoʻokūkū ʻaʻole lākou i ʻoluʻolu i ka hana ʻana o Morais iā Parker a koi aku iā ia e haʻalele i kahakai me James, ʻo ia hoʻi - spoiler alert - ua hana lākou. A ʻoiai ʻike ʻia e loaʻa iā Parker kahi manawa e hālāwai ai me kahi mea hou - aloha Bachelorette alum Joe Park, M.D., aka "Dr. Joe" - kūleʻa iki kā lākou aloha aloha ʻoiai ʻo Kauka Joe ʻo BFFs me ka mea hoʻopaʻapaʻa Morais. No ka laʻana, i ka lā mua o Parker lāua ʻo Park, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i ka neʻe ʻana o kāna ʻōlelo kino ma hope koke o ka haʻi ʻana o Parker i kāna "hoʻokuʻu ʻana" me Morais. Ma hope o ka ʻai ʻana ma ka papaʻaina me nā aniani margarita nunui, hele ʻo Kauka Joe mai ka kamaʻilio ʻana e pili ana i kona manaʻolana ʻo Parker kāna "kanaka," i ka ʻōlelo huna ʻana, "he aha ka mea e hiki mai ana." (Pili: Wahi a ka Astrology 'Bachelorette' Katie Thurston lāua ʻo Blake Moynes i mau mau ka lilo ʻana)

Maikaʻi nō hoʻi ua pūʻiwa ʻo Kauka Joe i ka lohe ʻana i ka mea i iho ma waena o Morais a me Parker. ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo, hiki ke hopohopo ke ʻike i kahi mea āu e aloha ai e hōʻike ʻia ana i kahi kukui maikaʻi ʻole. "E kuʻu Brendan?" i ninau aku ai o Kauka Joe i ka manawa o ka Poalua. ʻAe, ʻo Kauka Joe, ʻo "kou Brendan" i hōʻeha iā Parker. Akā i kēia hihia, he aha ka neʻe hou a Kauka Joe: ua hoʻohiki ʻo ia i ke kūpaʻa iā Morais i hāʻawi ʻia i ko lākou mōʻaukala o ke aloha, a i ʻole ke hoʻomau nei ʻo ia e alualu i kahi aloha aloha me Parker a hoʻopaʻa i kāna pal.

ʻO ka mua, e kamaʻilio kākou e pili ana i ke kuleana pili aloha. Aia kēia manaʻo me nā hoaaloha (a me nā pilina maʻamau) ʻo ka "aloha i kekahi me ka mea ʻole" ʻo ia ke ʻano o ka nānā ʻana ma waho o nā hoʻoholo i nīnau ʻia. Akā aia kekahi nui ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i kekahi no kāna mau hana a me ke kū ʻana me ka makapō no ka mea he mau hoaaloha ʻoe. ʻO ka noho ʻana i ka pilina e pili ana i ka hoʻokumu ʻana i wahi no ke aloha a me ka ʻae ʻana, ʻaʻole e haʻi i ka nui o ke kuleana kūpono. Ma ka hihia o Pili ma Paradise, 'o ia ho'i, loa'a iā Dr. Joe ka manawa kūpono e ho'opa'a ai iā Morais no ka hiki 'ole 'ana mai me Parker. (E pili pū ana: Pehea e hana ai me nā ʻāina hoʻololi o kāu mau hoaaloha)

Akā pehea kuleana anei ʻoe i kekahi? Eia ka mea: Hiki i ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa ke hōʻoluʻolu a me ka ʻino. Hiki paha iā ia ke hoʻohilahila iki inā ʻo ʻoe ka mea i hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻia e ka mea aloha e pili ana i kahi mea āu i hana hewa ai. ʻOiai naʻe, ʻaʻole pono ka maikaʻi o ka ʻike ponoʻī. ʻO kahi hakakā, ma kona kumu, he kamaʻilio wale nō. Pehea ʻoe koho e "kūʻē" hiki i ke kanaka ke hoʻonohonoho i ke kani, no laila e lawe i kahi ala aloha inā maikaʻi ia.

ʻOiai ua hāʻawi aku ʻo Kauka Joe i ka mihi iā Parker i ko lāua lā ʻana, me ka ʻōlelo ʻana ua "kaumaha nui" ʻo ia i hele i kēlā hoʻāʻo ʻana me Morais, ke kūlana ma waena o ka Bachelor Hiki i nā bros ke mālama pono i ka IRL. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua like ke kamaʻilio ʻana me ke ʻano: "E Brendan. Ua hoʻi mai wau mai kaʻu wā aloha me Natasha a ua ʻano pīhoihoi wau e pili ana i kāu hana ʻana i kēlā kūlana me Pieper. Hiki iā mākou ke kamaʻilio hou aʻe e pili ana i kēlā?"

A i ʻole, ʻoiai ʻaʻole i komo ʻo Morais Paradaiso i ka manawa i iho ai ka lā, ua hiki iā Kauka Joe ke ʻōlelo iā Parker: "Wow, paʻakikī loa kēlā. ʻAʻole wau e kamaʻilio hou e pili ana ia mea a kau wale iā mākou a hiki i kaʻu kamaʻilio ʻana me Brenden. Maikaʻi paha ia?" ʻO ka ʻoluʻolu liʻiliʻi e hele lōʻihi loa ana, a ʻo ia ka mea e hoʻololi ai i ka wā o ka launa pū ʻana o Kauka Joe me Parker i kā lāua lā ʻaina ahiahi. (E pili ana: 6 mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no ke olakino - a me ka hōʻeha ʻole - nā hoʻopaʻapaʻa pilina)

Hiki iā ʻoe - a pono - e hui me kāu mau hoaaloha me ka ʻoluʻolu a me ka noʻonoʻo. Ma kēia kamaʻilio hypothetical ma waena o nā hoa ʻelua, hiki iā Dr. Joe ke ʻōlelo i kekahi mea penei: "Aloha wau a kākoʻo iā ʻoe, e ke kanaka, akā ʻaʻole wau i manaʻo ua mālama ʻoe i kēia kūlana ma ke ala maikaʻi loa. e ʻoiaʻiʻo iā ʻoe e pili ana i nā kuhi hewa āu e hana ai. A pēlā nō ʻoe iaʻu!" ʻAʻole pono ia e overdramatic a hoʻopiʻi paha - hiki ke lilo i kahi kamaʻilio mālie, mahalo. (E nānā: No ke aha e hele hewa ai nā kamaʻilio a pehea e hoʻoponopono ai)

Pilikia ka pilina, a i kekahi manawa, he wahi ia o ka lei. Akā ua ʻōlelo ʻia, hiki i ka poʻe ke paipai ʻia e hoʻopaʻa i kā lākou poʻe i aloha ʻia. Ma ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i kāu kuleana pili kokoke a aloha, loaʻa iā lākou ka manawa e hoʻololi i kā lākou ʻano no ka maikaʻi, hiki ke kōkua hope iā lākou e hoʻomaikaʻi i kā lākou pilina ponoʻī pū kekahi. Eia kekahi kumu: Inā ʻo ka Pili ma Paradise Ua hoʻohuli ʻia nā kuleana, a inā ʻo Kauka Joe i loko o nā kāmaʻa o Parker, makemake paha ʻo ia e ʻoiaʻiʻo a mālama pono i nā ala i hōʻeha ʻia ai ʻo ia.

I ka hopena o ka lā, hiki ke aloha i kāu hoaaloha a ʻaʻole hoʻi i ka 100 pakeneka o kā lākou hana. ʻO kahi hoaaloha maikaʻi maoli ka mea hiki ke hoʻopono me ʻoe, ʻeā?

ʻO Rachel Wright, M.A., L.M.FT., (ʻo ia) kahi laikini psychotherapist, hoʻonaʻauao wahine a me ka loea pili i hoʻokumu ʻia ma New York City. He ʻōlelo akamai ʻo ia, he mea hoʻoponopono hui, a he mea kākau. Ua hana ʻo ia me nā kaukani mau kānaka ma ka honua holoʻokoʻa e kōkua iā lākou e uē liʻiliʻi a hoʻonui hou.

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