Pehea e pale ai iā ʻoe iho i nā kūlana weliweli ʻelima, e like me ka poʻe loea

Anter

• Ke hele wāwae nei ʻoe ma waena o kahi Pōka ʻEleʻele a / a Sketchy paha i ka Pō
• Ke hahai ʻia nei ʻoe, ma ka wāwae a i ʻole ma kāu kaʻa
• Pushy maikaʻi ʻole kāu lā
• Ke hoʻopilikia ʻia nei ʻoe e kou haku a i ʻole kekahi luna ʻē aʻe
• Hoʻokipa ʻia ʻoe a hahai ʻia paha ma ke kaʻa kaʻa lehulehu
• Nānā no

No ka hapa nui o nā mea kālepa wahine, ke hoʻolana nei i kahi huahana –– ka hoʻopili ʻana o nā mahina (maliʻa paha he mau makahiki) o ke koko, ka hou, a me nā waimaka – kahi manawa hauʻoli. Akā no Quinn Fitzgerald lāua ʻo Sara Dickhaus de Zarraga, ua ʻano ʻokoʻa ka manaʻo i ka wā i hele aku ai kā lāua huahana ʻo Flare i ka mākeke.

"He mea weliweli ke kū pono o kēia huahana," wahi a Dickhaus de Zarraga. "Ke inaina mākou aia mākou i kēia manawa."

ʻO Flare, i hana ʻia e ka duo, nā papa kula ʻo Harvard Business ʻelua, ma 2016, kahi "kūpeʻe lima" akamai (Buy It, $ 129, getflare.com) i hoʻolālā ʻia e kōkua i ka poʻe e haʻalele i nā kūlana palekana a ʻoluʻolu ʻole paha. Kaomi ka mea lawe i kahi pihi hūnā ma loko o ka kūpeʻe lima, e makaʻala ana i kahi papa inoa o nā mea i koho mua ʻia (a i ʻole nā ​​mākaʻi) o ko lākou wahi. Hiki i ke kūpeʻe lima ke hoʻouna i kahi kelepona kelepona ʻole i ke kelepona o ka mea lawe lole no ke kumu wikiwiki e haʻalele i kahi kūlana iffy. (Hiki ke hoʻonohonoho ʻia kēia mau mea āpau i kā lākou polokalamu.)

ʻO ka lua, nā mea ʻelua i hōʻeha ʻia i ka moekolohe, ua ʻōlelo lāua ua hana lāua iā Flare no ka mea ʻo ka hapa nui o nā mea pale pale i kēlā manawa i hana ʻia e nā kāne. "I ka wā ma mua, ʻo nā mea hana wale nō e pale aku iā ʻoe iho kahi ʻoki a kūwaho pilikino paha e hana i ka walaʻau, ka pīpī pahū, kahi mea kaua e hōʻeha ai i ka mea ʻē aʻe, a i ʻole ke kāhea no ke kōkua," wehewehe ʻo Dickhaus de Zarraga. "A, ke hilinaʻi nei i kou ʻike, a i ʻole inā he kanaka kala ʻoe, hiki i kēlā [mau koho] ke hoʻokomo iā ʻoe i loko hou aku weliweli. "

I loko o ka mōʻaukala holoʻokoʻa, aia ka hana ma luna o ka wahine i pale aku hana hoʻomāinoino - inā paha ia no ka haʻalele ʻana i ka wai ʻona (a i ʻole nā ​​ʻaoʻao āpau), ka hōʻalo ʻana i nā kaila lole i manaʻo ʻia he mea hoʻonāukiuki (ʻoiai ʻo Sarah Everard e hāʻawi nei i nā sweatpants i ka wā i lawe ʻia ai ʻo ia ma UK), a ke hana nei i nā mea āpau e pale aku ai i kekahi ʻano o ka nānā. ma mua o ka hoʻololi ʻana i ka nui i ke kaiāulu e pale i nā hana kolohe a ka poʻe hana kolohe iā lākou iho. (Pili: Ma hope o Sarah Everard, Ke ʻākoakoa nei nā wahine no ka noho palekana ʻana - akā ʻo nā kāne e pono e loli ke ʻano o ke ʻano)

ʻOiaʻiʻo, e ʻōlelo nei e noho nei mākou i kahi honua mana kahi e pono ʻole ai ka wahine e kūʻai i nā kūpeʻe lima sneaky, e aʻo i nā neʻe kaua martial arts, a i ʻole ke koʻikoʻi mau nei e pili ana i ko lākou kaiapuni 24/7 e like me ka ʻōlelo ʻana e noho nei mākou i kahi kaiāulu ma hope o ka lāhui. . Ma kahi o 8 ma 10 U.S. mau wahine ma luna o ka makahiki 18 i hōʻike ʻia e hana hoʻomāinoino ʻia i loko o hoʻokahi nūhou 2018, ʻoiai kahi noiʻi hou o nā wahine UK ua ʻike ka helu ma laila hiki ke kokoke i 97 pakeneka. (A ʻoiai ʻoe e noʻonoʻo paha i ka nui o ka laʻana o ka noi ʻaʻole e hōʻike i kahi kiʻi i lawa ka nui, hoʻokahi scan o ka hashtag # 97perecent ma TikTok, ka mea e kuhikuhi pololei i ka loaʻa o ka noiʻi, hāʻawi i ka nui o ka hōʻoia wahine. he ke hālāwai nei me ka hōʻeha kolohe ma nā helu weliweli.) Kehena, ʻoi wale nō aia ma ka hana ma ke ʻano he wahine ʻeleʻele ke kumu o ka predation. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, hōʻike ka wahine wahine ʻeleʻele i ka hana hoʻomāinoino i ka hana ma ʻekolu manawa ka nui o nā wahine keʻokeʻo, e like me ka hōʻike a ka National Women Law Law, kahi hui kuleana kū kānāwai ʻole.

Pono ka wahine e pale iā lākou iho mai nā kūlana hōʻoluʻolu (a weliweli paha) - kikoʻī, me nā kāne - hānai. Akā ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, e like me ka hōʻike a ka World Health Organization e hōʻike nei, ʻo ka hapa nui o ka hana ʻino i nā wahine e hana ʻia e nā kāne. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua hōʻike ka hoʻopaʻa noiʻi ʻaʻole lawa ka ʻikepili e nānā i ka hana ʻino like i ka wahine like i nā wahine. ʻO ka mea hou aku, ʻo ka hana ʻino e kūʻē i nā trans a i ʻole wahine kūlike ʻole i piʻi i ka makahiki 2020, me nā mea make he 44 ma ka U.S.

ʻO ka ʻōlelo ʻia, ʻoiai ka makaʻu i nā hoʻouka kaua pono ʻole e kāohi iā ʻoe mai kou ola ʻana, ke lawe nei i kekahi mau hana pono a me ka mākaukau ʻana iā ʻoe iho me ka ʻike pale pilikino hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻoluʻolu hou aʻe.

Maʻaneʻi, hele ka poʻe loea i ka pehea e lawelawe ai i nā hanana weliweli ʻelima e ʻike ai ʻoe iā ʻoe iho, a pehea e hele palekana ai i waho.

Ke hele wāwae nei ʻoe ma waena o kahi Pōka ʻEleʻele a / a Sketchy paha i ka Pō

Ma nā wahi āu e hele nei a i kahi paha, kahi huakaʻi (e like me nā hale kaʻa kaʻa a me nā hailona) kekahi o nā wahi maʻamau no ka predation, e like me kā Beverly Baker, ka mea hoʻomalu pilikino a me ka hoʻokumu o Asphalt Anthropology ma Los Angeles. "Pono kēia mau wahi i ka hana hou, no ka mea, lawa ka lehulehu no kahi mea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke komo, akā pinepine ka manawa pilikino e ʻae iā lākou e hana me ka ʻole o nā mea ʻike a hoʻopōpō paha," wehewehe ʻo Baker.

I ke komo ʻana i kahi hale kaʻa a wahi kaʻa paha, aʻoaʻo mau ʻo Baker i kāna mea kūʻai aku e nānā i ka wahi. Aia nā kia, nā alapiʻi, a i ʻole nā ​​kaʻa nui i hiki i ke kanaka ke hūnā ma hope? Hōʻalo i kēlā mau wahi, aʻoaʻo ʻo ia, a hoʻāʻo e paka kokoke loa i ka puka a puka.

"Eia kekahi, i kou hōʻea ʻana mai, hoʻihoʻi i kāu kaʻa i kahi," aʻo ʻo ia. "ʻO kēia ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hele wāwae i ka lōʻihi o ke kaʻa a hiki i ka puka o ka mea hoʻokele a hiki iā ʻoe ke huki me ka ʻike piha o kāu mau wahi."

Nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ʻē aʻe o ka hoʻololi mai Baker mai? E hoʻokau i kāu kelepona i lalo, e hele wikiwiki me ka wiwo ʻole me kou maka ākea, a manuahi kou mau lima (akā mālama i kāu mau kī i hiki iā ʻoe ke wehe koke a lele i kāu kaʻa).

ʻAe, a e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kēlā mau kī -– pono ʻoe e paʻa iā lākou e like me ka pahi ma waena o kou mau manamana lima e hoʻouka i nā mea e hele mai ana, ʻeā? "Aia kekahi moʻolelo lōʻihi e paʻa ana i kāu mau kī ma waena o kou mau manamana lima he mea pale pale maikaʻi ia, akā ʻaʻole ʻoiaʻiʻo kēia!" wahi a Baker. "E neʻe nā kī i ka hopena a e hōʻeha iā ʻoe ma mua o ka hoʻoweliweli."

Akā, paipai ʻo Baker i ka lawe ʻana a me ka mālama ʻana i kekahi ʻano mea kaua pale iā ia iho ma kahi kokoke - ʻoiai ke hilinaʻi nui nei i kou pae hōʻoluʻolu a me ke kānāwai i kou wahi. Hiki i kēia ke hoʻokomo i ka ʻūpī pepa a i ʻole kekahi ʻano pū puhi (Buy It, $24, amazon.com), he pahi, ke kukui uila kiʻekiʻe (Buy It, $40, amazon.com) no ka hoʻohuli manawaleʻa i ka mea hoʻouka, a i ʻole ke kaumaha. mea ma kou ala, e like me ke kukui kaumaha, nā mea ma ka waihona puke, a i ʻole ʻoki. (E pili pū ana: Ua ʻōlelo ka poʻe kūʻai aku ua hoʻopakele kēia ʻōpala i ko lākou ola)

Ke hahai ʻia nei ʻoe, ma ka wāwae a i ʻole ma kāu kaʻa

Inā aia kekahi mea hoʻoweliweli hou aʻe ma mua o ke komo ʻana i kahi hale kaʻa hale ʻalohi a malu hoʻi i ka pō, ke hele wāwae nei a hoʻokele kaʻawale wale nō–– a e alualu ʻia paha. (Pili: ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻoi loa e pili ana i ka holo palekana no nā wahine)

ʻO ka hana mua inā manaʻo ʻoe e ukali ʻia ana ʻoe ma ka huli ʻana. "Pono e hana i kahi kaʻa ʻē aʻe a haʻalele paha i kā lākou kaʻa," i ʻōlelo ʻo Baker.

Inā hiki iā ʻoe, ʻōlelo ʻo Baker e hele i kahi palekana ma mua o ka haʻalele wale ʻana i ka pilikia. "Mai huli a hele i lalo i kahi alaloa i haʻalele ʻia," i ʻōlelo ʻo ia. "E komo i loko o kahi hale kūʻai inā hiki iā ʻoe."

Pili kēlā ʻano manaʻo like inā manaʻo ʻoe he kaʻa ke kaʻa iā ʻoe ʻoiai ʻoe e hoʻokele. "Mai hoʻi i ka home inā e ukali ʻia ʻoe," i ʻōlelo ʻo Baker, me ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana e hele mau ʻoe i kahi palekana kahi e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hae no ke kōkua (e noʻonoʻo

Pushy maikaʻi ʻole kāu lā

ʻOiai ʻo ka lele ʻana o ka poʻe hoʻouka kaua mai loko mai o nā kumulāʻau a i ʻole ma nā hale kaʻa kaʻa he mea makaʻu loa ia, aia kekahi (ʻoi aku ka nui) o nā hoʻouka kaua ma nā ala ʻoi aʻe: ʻo ia hoʻi, kahi lā Tinder ʻoluʻolu ʻole. (E pili pū ana: 6 Nā hana a me nā hana ʻole no ka Pūnaewele Pūnaewele)

"Inā ʻoe i loko o kahi kūlana hōʻoluʻolu ʻole, e ʻimi i mea kōkua," i ʻōlelo aʻo a Heather Hansen, ka loio i ka loiloi ponoʻī, ka loio loio, a me ka loio hoʻokolokolo. Hoʻomaopopo ʻo Hansen, ʻo ia paha kekahi ma kahi kokoke, ʻo ia he bartender a i ʻole he hoa kiaʻi, hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻike aia ʻoe i kahi kūlana paʻa. Ponoʻoe e noi i ka mea hoʻolaha e hoʻopili i kāu lā (e'ōlelo, inā ponoʻoe e ala i luna e hele i ka lumi lumi lumi) a nīnau i kekahi mau nīnau: "Pehea nā mea a pau?" a i ʻole "he aha kāu e inu nei ma ʻaneʻi?" manaʻo ʻo Hansen.

"Inā hoʻomau ka mea hana hewa, hiki i ka mea hele ke nīnau maʻalahi i kā ʻolua mea e hana nei," i ʻōlelo ʻo Hansen. "He ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kēia inā ʻike ka mea kūʻai aku he kāne a hana pū ka mea hana." I kēlā manawa, koʻikoʻi ʻo Hansen, (manaʻolana) ua wehe ʻia kāu mau koho e pili ana i ka haʻalele. ʻOiai e hoʻonāukiuki ʻia kāu lā, hiki iā ʻoe ke hae i lalo i kahi bartender a i ʻole kekahi mai ka palekana e keakea a kōkua iā ʻoe e puka i waho? ʻOiai pono ʻoe e loiloi i ke kūlana (e ʻokoʻa ke ʻano o kēlā me kēia kanaka), e hoʻāʻo e palapala i nā ala no kahi puka ke komo koke kekahi i kahi hanana.

ʻO kahi koho ʻē aʻe no ka haʻalele ʻana i kahi kūlana ʻoluʻolu ʻole ma kahi pā a hale ʻaina paha: e kauoha i kahi "pana ʻānela." E like me ka wehewehe ʻana o kahi viral TikTok mai ka mea hana @benjispears, ʻo ka pana ʻana he code maoli no "Aia wau i loko o ka pilikia; kōkua mai iaʻu." ʻOiai ʻaʻole i loaʻa i nā hale ʻoihana a pau (a hiki ke kapa ʻia he mea ʻē aʻe i mea e pale ai i kāna huna ʻana mai ka poʻe lawehala), e ʻike maʻamau ʻoe i kahi hōʻailona i kau ʻia ma ka lumi ʻauʻau e hoʻomaopopo ana i ka wahine he koho ia. Ma waho aʻe o kou wahi e komo ai, mai hoʻokaʻulua e hoʻopaʻa hae i ke kanaka ma ke ala e hele ai, a i loko paha, i ka lumi ʻauʻau inā ʻaʻole ʻoe maopopo.

Inā ʻaʻohe mea kokoke, a ʻoluʻolu ʻole paha ʻoe i ka nīnau ʻana a puni, manaʻo ʻo Hansen e haʻi i kāu lā paʻa mua ʻaʻole ʻoluʻolu ʻoe. A, ʻoiai, e hoʻāʻo e hoʻopā ʻole i kāu meaʻai a inu paha inā ʻaʻole ia i mua o kou maka, ʻoiai no kekahi manawa, ʻoiai ua hiki i kekahi ke hana me ia. (Pili: Ua hoʻokumu kēia mau ʻōpio i kahi mauʻu i hiki ke kōkua i ke kuhi ʻana i nā lāʻau lapaʻau lā.

A inā piʻi aʻe nā mea, mai makaʻu e ala aʻe a haʻalele. "E kiʻi i kahi holo home mai kahi mea ʻē aʻe a koho paha i kahi lawelawe kaʻanalike kaʻa," wahi a Baker, me ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana inā hopohopo ʻoe i ka ukali ʻia, hiki iā ʻoe ke noi i ka palekana e alakaʻi iā ʻoe i kāu wahi i hele aku ai (a i ʻole e kelepona i nā mākaʻi e kōkua).

Ke hoʻopilikia ʻia nei ʻoe e kou haku a i ʻole kekahi luna ʻē aʻe

Ke hiki mai i ka snide DM mai nā mea hana a i ʻole kahi manawa kūpilikiʻi me kahi VP kiʻekiʻe kiʻekiʻe i kahi huakaʻi hana, hoʻoweliweli ʻo Hansen i kekahi lula nui (akā maʻalahi) me ka hoʻonāukiuki ʻana ma kahi hana: "Palapala nā mea a pau –– me kēlā me kēia hanana hoʻonāukiuki a pehea ʻoe e pane ai. E loaʻa nā mea āpau i ke kākau ʻana inā hiki iā ʻoe. "(Kuhi ʻo ia, i kekahi mau mokuʻāina, he kūpono ʻole ke hoʻopaʻa ʻana i ke kamaʻilio me ka ʻae ʻole o nā ʻaoʻao āpau, no laila e hoʻomanaʻo i kēlā.)

Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Hansen i ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi mea kākoʻo he kī nō kekahi. "E kamaʻilio me kekahi i nā kumuwaiwai kanaka inā ʻo ka mea nāna ka hana ka mea nāna kou haku, a e kamaʻilio pū me kou luna inā he kanaka i nā kumuwaiwai kanaka," aʻoaʻo ʻo ia.

Akā he aha kāu e hana ai i kēia manawa e pale aku iā ʻoe iho a hoʻolaha i ke kūlana? He paʻakikī kēlā, wahi a Hansen. "Inā ʻoe e kamaʻilio me ka mea hana ʻino a i ʻole kou hoa pili, manaʻo wau e mālama i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo a me ka pahuhopu: 'Ke hana ʻoe i kēia, hana ʻo ia i kēia, a pēlā wau e manaʻo ai.'" ʻOiai ʻo ka hoʻoluhi ʻia he mea ʻoi loa ka ʻike ʻona, inā hiki iā ʻoe ke hana e pane ma mua o ka pane ʻana, e lilo ʻoe i mea ʻoi aku ka ikaika ma mua. "

ʻOiaʻiʻo, inā makaʻu ʻoe i kou palekana a i ka pōʻino koke, e hele pololei i ka mākaʻi - hou, me ka hōʻoia o ka hoʻomāinoino, inā loaʻa iā ʻoe.

Hoʻokipa ʻia ʻoe a hahai ʻia paha ma ke kaʻa kaʻa lehulehu

E like me inā e hahai ʻia ana ʻoe e ke kaʻa a i ʻole ka wāwae, me nā kaʻa kaʻa lehulehu, pono ʻoe e hele i kahi palekana ma mua o ka haʻalele ʻana i ka pōʻino, wahi a Baker. Akā a hiki i kēlā manawa, e kūʻē wale aku i ka mea āu e manaʻo ai e wīwī nei iā ʻoe hiki ke kōkua - ʻoiai he mea weliweli paha ia. "Ua hana wau i kēia me ka heihei o koʻu puʻuwai," i ʻae ʻo Baker. "Akā, eia ka mea: ʻAʻole makemake nā mea hoʻoweliweli i kahi pahuhopu paʻakikī. Nui ka poʻe o lākou e hauʻoli e hoʻoweliweli iā ʻoe. E hoʻohuli i ka palapala." 'Ōleloʻo Baker i ka'ōleloʻana i kekahi mea ma ka laina o "He aha kāu makemake?" a i ʻole, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, "No ke aha ʻoe e hāhai mai nei iaʻu?" hiki ke kōkua.

Inā ʻaʻole ʻoluʻolu ʻoe i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me ke kanaka, maikaʻi nō hoʻi. E hoʻololi i nā kaʻa kaʻaahi, e iho, a kali i ka mea aʻe. "Maikaʻi ka lohi ma mua o ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole," wahi a Baker. A i kēlā me kēia manawa āu e manaʻo ai aia ʻoe i kahi pōʻino koʻikoʻi, me kekahi o kēia mau manawa ma luna, mai kānalua e kelepona iā 9-1-1.

Nānā no