ʻO ke alakaʻi a ke kaikamahine maikaʻi no ka ʻole o kahi doormat

Anter

• Hemolele i kou kūlana
• Hoʻomaʻamaʻa Hoʻomaʻamaʻa
• Kūkākūkā Pilikino Nix
• ʻ Saylelo ʻAʻole
• ʻŌlelo
• Huhu
• Hoʻopuni iā ​​ʻoe iho me nā wahine ikaika ʻē aʻe
• Nānā no

ʻO ʻoe ke kanaka i kāhea ʻia e kou haku e hele mai i ka hopena pule? ʻO ʻoe ke kaikamahine hele i ka wā e pono ai kou kaikuahine i kahi poʻohiwi e uē ai? ʻO ʻoe ka hoaaloha e hoʻopau mau i ka uhi ʻana, ʻo ia ka mea hoʻokele i koho ʻia, e mālama ana i ke kūʻai ʻana i nā makana pūʻulu, a e kala aku i kēlā me kēia manawa e hōʻeha ʻia ka manaʻo o kekahi. ʻO ʻoe wale nō nani loa? ʻOiai mākou e aʻo ʻia nā wahine e laulima mau, empati, maʻalahi a maʻalahi hoʻi. ʻOiai ʻo ia nā hiʻohiʻona maikaʻi e loaʻa ai, ʻo ia hoʻi ke ʻano o ka hoʻohana ʻia ʻana o mākou. Akā, aia ke kaulike ma waena o ke kaikamahine maikaʻi a me ka noho ʻana i ka pale puka.

Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Pscyhotherapist a me Life Coach Jan Graham, o Live a Little Coaching, hiki i nā wahine ke aʻo e ʻoi aku ke koʻikoʻi me ka manaʻo ʻole a me ka lilo ʻole o kā mākou mau makana kūlohelohe no ka diplomacy, ka maʻalahi, a me ke akamai i ka ʻimi ʻana i nā hopena "lanakila / lanakila". "ʻAʻohe hewa o ka maikaʻi!" 'ōleloʻo ia, "Pono mākou e kiʻi hou, maikaʻi, hoʻolālā e pili ana iā ia." Eia pehea e loaʻa ai ka mea āu e makemake ai me ka lilo ʻole o ʻoe:

Hemolele i kou kūlana

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ʻAʻole kēia e pili ana i ka hiki ke kaulike i kahi puke ma kou poʻo a i ʻole ke nānā ʻana i ka lahilahi i loko o kāu ʻaʻahu penikala. E pili ana kēia i ka hōʻoia ʻana i kou mana ma o kou kūlana. Ma kāna kamaʻilio TED "Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are," wehewehe ʻo Amy Cuddy i ka ʻōlelo kino ua ʻike nā haʻawina i ka wā e hoʻohana ai nā wahine i nā "kūlana mana" a mākou e hui pū ai me nā kāne, ʻaʻole i ʻike wale ʻia nā wahine he ʻoi aku ka ikaika. akā manaʻo like lākou e pili ana iā lākou iho.

'Ōleloʻo Graham i nā wāhine e nānā i ka maka, e hoʻohana i ka leo hilinaʻi kūpono, a e pale i ka makemake eʻaʻa i kou mau lima a me kou mau wāwae a iʻole e hoʻokuʻu i kou kino i luna no ka laweʻana i kahi liʻiliʻi.

Hoʻomaʻamaʻa Hoʻomaʻamaʻa

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ʻO ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa maʻamau i kekahi mau wahine, akā inā ʻo ka manaʻo o ke kū ʻana iā ʻoe iho e makemake ai e moe i lalo, a laila pono ʻoe e hoʻomaʻamaʻa, wahi a Graham. "E ho'āʻo pinepine iā ʻoe iho e hoʻokau iā ʻoe iho ma laila a kū i luna no ʻoe iho, akā e hana i ka hoʻolālā - ʻaʻole ma ke ʻano e hoʻokaumaha iā ʻoe." Inā kahi hana kahi e manaʻo pinepine ai ʻoe e kau, hoʻomaka i ke kū ʻana i kahi hoa hana a laila hana i kāu luna. No laila, inā noi kou hoa hana iā ʻoe e nānā i kāna mea i hana ai, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo penei, "Jill, hauʻoli nui wau i ka hōʻike ʻana ma ka Pōʻalima a me ka hoʻomaka ʻana i kā mākou huahana hou. Pono wau e kau i koʻu ikaika ma laila-akā, hauʻoli wau e nānā i kāu pepa i kēia pule aʻe." ʻO ke kī ʻo ka nānā ʻana i ka mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hana, ʻaʻole i ka mea hiki ʻole.

Kūkākūkā Pilikino Nix

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Ua hele mau ʻoe hilahila. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i kēia. ʻAʻohe mea e makemake e hoʻolohe i kāu mau manaʻo puʻupuʻu. I kekahi manawa ʻo mākou ko mākou ʻenemi maikaʻi loa, keu hoʻi i ka wā e kamaʻilio ai iā mākou iho. "ʻO ka manawa pinepine, ʻike mākou i ka naʻauao ke hoʻokolokolo nei mākou iā mākou iho ma nā kūlana kiʻekiʻe ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe, akā ke ʻōlelo nei mākou iā mākou iho i nā mea koʻikoʻi.

ʻ Saylelo ʻAʻole

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"Manaʻo ka nui o nā wahine inā noi kekahi i kahi ʻoluʻolu, ʻo ka pane pololei kūpono he ʻae nō ia, no ka mea he aha ka ʻoluʻolu a i ʻole nā ​​mea e noi mai ana, a ke manaʻo nui lākou inā ʻaʻole lākou e ʻaelike aunoa," wahi a Graham. ʻO kahi hoʻopunipuni i ke aʻo ʻana e ʻōlelo ʻaʻole, ʻo ia ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i ka ʻōlelo ʻana "ʻae" i kahi mea hoʻokahi ʻo ia hoʻi ka ʻōlelo ʻana "ʻaʻole" i nā mea he nui-e like me nā mea aloha, nā holoholona a i ʻole ka manawa kaʻawale. A inā pilikia ʻoe i ka ʻōlelo pololei ʻana "ʻaʻole", e aʻo i nā hana hoʻopaneʻe. ʻ sayslelo ʻo Graham he mea maikaʻi ke kala aku iā ʻoe iho me kahi "malia" a laila e lawe i kahi manawa hou e loiloi ai inā makemake maoli ʻoe e hoʻokō iā ʻoe iho. ʻO kāna punahele? "Me he mea lā paha, akā pono wau e nānā mua i kaʻu kalena."

ʻŌlelo

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Ma ke kamaʻilio ʻana me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo i kou manaʻo aʻo ka mālama ʻana i kou lokomaikaʻi maoli a me ka diplomacy. "ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e ʻōlelo hōʻino a kolohe paha," wahi a Graham, "Akā inā ʻoe e launa pū ana me nā poʻe e kamaʻilio pinepine ana ma luna ou, pono paha ʻoe e aʻo pehea e keʻakeʻa ai e like me kā lākou."

Huhu

ʻāpana / loaʻa

Ua ʻōlelo pinepine ʻia mākou he mea ʻole ka huhū akā i kekahi manawa pono ʻoe i kahi ahi liʻiliʻi e hoʻoikaika iā ʻoe e hana i kekahi mea. ʻ sayslelo ʻo Graham inā ʻike maka ʻole ʻia ʻoe, mālama ʻole ʻia, a hoʻohana ʻia paha iā ia, mai sulk a hoʻopiʻi wale paha i kahi hoa aloha a lālā ʻohana paha. "E lawe i kēlā mau manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole, a inā e hoʻāpono ʻia lākou, e hoʻohuli iā lākou i waho ma mua o loko," wahi āna. "E noʻonoʻo me kahi hoʻolālā no hoʻokahi mea liʻiliʻi hiki iā ʻoe ke hana e pili hou aʻe nāu." ʻO kahi laʻana, i ka manawa aʻe e kono aku ai kāu hoaaloha iā ia iho no ka pāʻina awakea, e hoʻomaopopo iā ia he mau hoʻolālā ʻē aʻe kāu akā makemake ʻoe e hoʻonohonoho i kahi manawa no ka brunch i kēia pule aʻe.

Hoʻopuni iā ​​ʻoe iho me nā wahine ikaika ʻē aʻe

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’Aia nō kahi papa ʻelua, kahi e hoʻokolokolo ʻia ai nā wahine ma mua o nā kāne no ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana iā lākou iho, "wahi a Graham."Akā ʻo ka mea kupanaha loa, ʻo ka manawa pinepine o nā wahine ponoʻī e hoʻopili mua i ka lepili 'bitch' i nā wahine ikaika!" Ma mua o ka hoʻokūkū ʻana me kekahi, e ʻimi i nā wahine ikaika a hilinaʻi e hui pū ai. ʻAʻole wale lākou e kōkua iā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo maʻamau e pili ana i ke kū ʻana no ʻoe iho, akā e liʻiliʻi paha ʻoe i ka manaʻo inā ʻike ʻole nā ​​​​mea ʻē aʻe i kapa ʻia kēlā bitchiness.

Nānā no