E mālama i ka luhi ma waho o ka lumi moe

Anter

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I ka hoʻomaka o kāu pilina, aia ka uila, kuko, a me ka moekolohe-i kēlā me kēia lā, inā ʻaʻole i kēlā me kēia hola. He mau makahiki ma hope aku, he mea paʻakikī ke hoʻomanaʻo i ka manawa hope loa i hui pū ʻia ai ʻolua. (I ka Pōʻahā i hala-a i ʻole ke kali, ʻo ia ka mahina i hala?) ʻAʻole ia he mea kupanaha inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomanaʻo: ʻaʻole hoʻomehana ka nui o nā kāne kūpaʻa e like me ka maʻa mau, no ka mea ua lilo ka makemake o nā wahine. I hoʻokahi noiʻi e pili ana i ka nui o nā wahine he 1,000, ua ʻike nā kānaka noiʻi he 65 pākēneka o ka poʻe i loko o kahi pilina no hoʻokahi makahiki a ʻoi aku paha ka liʻiliʻi e hōʻike ana i ka makemake e moekolohe pinepine, ke hoʻohālikelike ʻia me 26 wale nō pākēneka o nā wahine i hui ʻia no ʻekolu mau makahiki. Ma waho aʻe o ka hoʻopilikia ʻana i kou ola aloha, ʻo ka nele o ka hoihoi i ka moekolohe he nūhou maikaʻi ia no kou olakino. "Hōʻike nā noiʻi he nui i ka poʻe me ke ola moekolohe i ka nui o ka puʻuwai puʻuwai, hoʻonui i ka ikaika, a me ka ʻōnaehana pale pale ʻoi aku ka ikaika," wahi a Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., kahi mea noiʻi moekolohe ma Vorhees, New Jersey, a me ka mea kākau o ʻO kaʻepekema o Orgasm. Eia nā kumu ola maoli ʻeono i hala paha kou makemake no ka moekolohe ʻana, a me nā neʻe maʻalahi e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻi hou me kāu ʻaoʻao kūlohelohe.

"Ua kaumaha loa au."

Hiki i nā pae hopohopo lani kiʻekiʻe ke hoʻonele i ke aloha. "Hoʻopiʻi ka pilikia i ka hana ʻana o nā hormones hakakā a i ʻole lele e like me cortisol, kahi e hoʻōki ai i ka pane hoʻomaha e pono ai no nā wā mua o ke ala ʻana," wahi a Myrtle Wilhite, MD, he mea noiʻi olakino moekolohe ma Madison, Wisconsin. No ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻana i nā hormones koʻikoʻi, e ʻimi i ka liʻiliʻi o 30 mau minuke o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana i ka lā-a inā hiki, e hoʻonohonoho i kāu hoʻomaʻamaʻa kokoke i ka manawa āu e manaʻo ai e hele i ka pae. Ua ʻike nā kānaka noiʻi ma ke Kulanui o British Columbia ua ala hou aʻe nā wahine mai ka nānā ʻana i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ke hana lākou no 20 mau minuke ma mua. "ʻOiai ʻo ka hele wāwae wikiwiki hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e huli wikiwiki i ka hoʻonui ʻana i ke kahe o ke koko, kahi e hoʻonui ai i ka manaʻo," i wehewehe ai ʻo Wilhite. Bonus: ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o ka moekolohe he mea hoʻopau koʻikoʻi nui pū kekahi. "E hōʻoluʻolu hou aʻe ʻoe ma hope o kou aloha ʻana no ka mea hoʻonui ka orgasms i nā pae o ka hormone calming oxytocin, ka mea e hoʻoulu ai i ka manaʻo hoʻomaha, hiamoe," i ʻōlelo ʻia ʻo Anita Clayton, MD, he polofesa o ka ʻepekema psychiatry a me nā ʻepekema neurobeh behavioral ma ka Kulanui o Virginia a me ka mea kākau o ʻO ka ʻoluʻolu: Wahine, Sex, a me ka ʻimi no ka pilina.

"Luhi wau i ka moekolohe. E aho wau e nānā i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni maikaʻi."

Hiki i kekahi mau mea ke hoʻomaikaʻi hou i kou kuko, ʻae, kuko i ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o ka ʻike ʻana he climax ikaika kāu i mua ou. ʻO ka hana ʻana i nā orgasms ʻoi aku ka ikaika a me ka leʻaleʻa kekahi o nā pono o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa mau ʻana i ka papahele pelvic, kahi maʻa o nā ʻiʻo e kākoʻo ana i ka ʻōpū, urethra, a me ka vagina. (ʻO lākou nā mākala like e ʻae iā ʻoe e hōʻoki i ke kahe o ka mimi waena.) Hoʻokahi o nā noi ʻana mai ka Ka Nūpepa o ka Haukino Haukapila i loaʻa i nā wahine me nā papa pelvic nāwaliwali ka liʻiliʻi o ka loaʻa ʻana o nā orgasms ma mua o nā mea ikaika. Eia pehea e hāʻawi ai i kēia mau mākala, nāwaliwali iki me ka makahiki, kahi hoʻomaʻamaʻa, ʻike ʻia ʻo Kegels: E noʻonoʻo i kāu papa pelvic ma ke ʻano he ea e piʻi ana i ʻehā mau huakaʻi, ʻo ka pae kiʻekiʻe kou pūhaka. E hoʻokiʻekiʻe a kaomi e piʻi i luna i kēlā me kēia papahele, e paʻa i kekona i kēlā me kēia "kū." A laila hele hou i lalo, hoʻokahi papahele i ka manawa. No nā hualoaʻa kiʻekiʻe, hana hou he 10 mau manawa ʻelua ʻekolu mau manawa o ka lā.

No ka ho'āla houʻana i ka makemake, e noʻonoʻo ma waho o ka lumi moe. E hoʻāʻo e kiʻi hou i ka hou o kou wā aloha me ka hana pū ʻana i kekahi mea ʻokoʻa. ʻO nā hana ʻoi loa ka hana e loaʻa ai kāu pauma adrenaline, e like me ka holo ʻana i kahi kaʻa lola, ke aʻo ʻana pehea e heʻenalu ai, a i ʻole ke nānā ʻana i kahi pīhoihoi piha i ka hana. "ʻO ka ʻike ʻana i kēlā puʻuwai puʻuwai e hoʻoikaika kino iā ʻoe, e hoʻonui ai i kou pilina pili wahine," wahi a Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., he kumu noiʻi noiʻi ma ke Kulanui o Michigan.

> "Pono kāna foreplay e hana. ʻAʻole loa wau e huli."

ʻO ke kiʻi ʻana ma lalo o nā uhi e kūpono paha ma ke ʻano he foreplay nona, akā pono ka hapa nui o nā wahine i ka hoʻomehana. ʻO kāu pahuhopu? E kiʻi hou i kēlā kuko āu i ʻike ai i kou hui mua ʻana. E kūkulu i ka mea e kakali ai me ka banter mealtime banter a i ʻole ke aloha ʻana i ka wā kahiko. "E hoʻopaʻa pinepine i kāu hoa pili, inā paha ʻoe e pākuʻi ma mua o ke alahele a pāʻani paha i kona ʻūhā," i ʻōlelo ai ʻo Lana Holstein, M.D., he mea lapaʻau wahine nāna e hoʻokele i kahi papahana kāne ma Miraval Spa ma Tucson, Arizona. Ke noho nei ʻoe i loko o ka lumi moe, e ʻimi a hala nā wahi leʻaleʻa maʻamau. "ʻO ka stimulus o nā pepeiao a me ka ʻāʻī hiki ke hoʻāla nui," wahi a Whipple. E hoʻāʻo me nā ʻano pili like ʻole, e like me ka ʻili a me ka lomilomi.

"Ua loaʻa iaʻu ke kaupaona i kēia mau lā a ʻaʻole wau i manaʻo he moekolohe."

He mea maʻamau ke noʻonoʻo ʻaʻole ʻoe i makemake ʻia ke lawe ʻoe i kekahi mau paona keu. Akā, manaʻoʻiʻo a ʻaʻole paha, ʻaʻole paha i ʻike kāu hoa. ʻO ka mea nui e hoʻomanaʻo ʻoe he nani ʻoe, wahi a Orbuch. E hoʻāʻo i kāna hana hoʻoikaika pilikino i kēlā me kēia manawa ke nānā ʻoe i ke aniani. Makemake i kāu mau bipi kino? Pōmaikaʻi ʻia me nā pūhaka wili? Ke mālama nei i kēia mau ʻano e hoʻonui i ka hilinaʻi o kou kino- "No laila, inā wau e piʻi i kahi nui? He mau papalina kupaianaha koʻu" -a kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻoluʻolu i kou ʻili iho (ʻōlohelohe).

"Paʻahana loa mākou."

I kēia mau makahiki o nā mākua-kime me ka hana he 60 mau hola, he paʻakikī loa e noho pili. Akā ke noiʻi hou mai ke Kulanui o ʻAlikona e hōʻike nei i ka makemake nui o nā kāne male i kekahi i kekahi ma nā wā o ka nui o ka noho puʻuwai. ʻO kahi ala e hoʻomaka ai i ka hoʻopili hou ʻana e lawe i ke kīwī mai ka lumi moe: ʻaʻole moe kolohe nā kāne me ka ʻole o ka manawa me nā mea me lākou, e like me kahi noiʻi ʻItalia. E hoʻohana i kāu manawa hiamoe mua e kamaʻilio ai, ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ʻo Polofesa University of Minnesota Paul Rosenblatt, Ph.D., mea kākau o ʻElua i kahi moena. "Ke kamaʻilio pū nei nā hoa, hoʻopili hou lākou i kekahi i kekahi, a laila e alakaʻi paha i ka moekolohe." Pono ʻoe e hoʻāʻo e haʻalele i kekahi mau manawa o ka makahiki, ʻoiai inā ʻaihue wale ʻoe i ka hōkele i kou kūlanakauhale ponoʻī. "Ke hoʻomaha hou a loaʻa ka manawa kaʻawale, e nui ana ka moekolohe," i wehewehe ai ʻo Alice Domar, Ph.D., he psychologist ma Bet Israel Deaconness Medical Center ma Boston.

> "ʻAʻole ʻo ia i loko."

ʻAʻole paha e noʻonoʻo nā kāne e pili ana i ka moekolohe, e like me kēlā me kēia ʻelima mau kekona? No laila, he aha ke ʻano o ka nānā mau ʻana i ka leka uila a i ʻole ke nānā ʻana i ke kīwī ma kahi o ka hoʻowalewale ʻana iā ʻoe i loko o ka lumi moe? ʻO nā pilikia ma ke keʻena a hopohopo paha i kāu kālā e hoʻopilikia paha i kāna hoʻokele wahine, wahi a Holstein. "ʻAʻole kaʻana pinepine nā kāne i nā mea e hoʻopilikia nei iā lākou, no laila ʻaʻole paha ʻoe e ʻike he hewa kekahi," wehewehe ʻo ia. "Akā inā e mālama ʻo ia i nā mea mai iā ʻoe, e manaʻo paha ʻo ia i kahi mamao loa o ka naʻau a me ke kino." E nīnau i nā nīnau e wehe iā ia; ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i kāna mau hopohopo e kōkua iā ia e ʻike ʻaʻole pono ʻo ia e hoʻoponopono-i nā pilikia āpau e ia. ʻO kahi wehewehe hou aʻe no kāna libido i hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻia: Inā ʻoe e hōʻole ana i kāna mau holomua i kēia mau lā, e hoʻohoka paha ʻo ia. "ʻAʻohe mea e makemake e hōʻole ʻia i nā manawa he nui," wahi a Holstein. "Ma hope o kekahi manawa ʻike ʻo ia ʻaʻole ʻoe hoihoi, a kū ʻo ia i ka hoʻāʻo pinepine ʻana." Inā hōʻike kāu pakanā i ka moekolohe ke ʻaʻole ʻoe i loko, mai hoʻopale iā ia me ka ʻole loa. Ma kahi o, e noi i kahi hōʻoia ua a ʻike i kahi manawa e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi no ʻoe e like me ke ala ʻana i ka hapalua hola ma mua no kahi kau hoʻoulu i waena o nā lau ma mua o ka hana.

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